All a Part of God's Plan

By Diane P. Harris

God wants you to know that there is nothing you have done that can separate you from His love. He has a plan for your life. Your job is to get to know Him, learn to trust Him, believe His Word, apply the Word to your life's circumstances, and follow His direction. God knew all the mistakes we would make and all the wrong turns we would take. He knew all the times we would be taken advantage of and hurt. He knew beforehand how He would take all that the devil meant for evil and how He would use it to work out for our good. God will let nothing that we go through be wasted.

This book is filled with stories and lessons learned about my life, my relationship with God, and how He has shown me over and over His love for me in spite of myself. But not just for me--but His love for all of us. Even though we often turn away from God to go our own way, God will take great measure to draw us back to Him and not leave us out there in our own mess.

God knew everything that would happen in your life before you were born--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Everything that we go through, God uses it to teach us that we can trust and depend on Him with everything in our life. Don't you see, if He knew you before you were born, all the things that happen in your life are all a part of God's plan.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 21, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685175900

Book preview

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All a Part of God’s Plan

Diane P. Harris

ISBN 978-1-68517-589-4 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-68517-591-7 (hardcover)

ISBN 978-1-68517-590-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Diane P. Harris

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Scripture quotations noted are taken from The Holy Bible

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Forward

Preface

Introduction

You Know Me, Oh Lord

Make His Praise Glorious

Family

Aunt Jean’s House

My Home Away from Home

I’m Never Going to a Pentecostal Church

God Always Has a Plan

By His Stripes, I am Healed

Delight Yourself in Me

Demons, Demons Everywhere

Confessions of a Worrywart

God Is Looking for Someone to Believe

Trust Me

Welcome Back, Fred

We Called Him Hanes

A Lesson from King Jehoshaphat

The Overwhelming Goodness of God

An Ever-Present Help in Time of Trouble

Getting My Praise On

Tell Them Your Story

Oh, Those Israelites

The Greatest Lesson Learned

Didn’t You Know That Was Me?

Just for Me

Going Down a Different Road

What the Enemy Steals, God Will Restore

Time to Wake Up, Mr. Wood

Act Like God Is Telling the Truth

Right Where God Wants Us to Be

The Gift of Time

Shoved Out of the Nest

Sometimes Bad Things Happen to Inspire You to Change

Remembering Squeak

Welcome to Hotel Jenkins

The Threads of Experience

God Has a Plan

About the Author

I could not have written any of these stories without God acting in my life and the Holy Spirit’s help. So I dedicate this book to my heavenly Father who has watched over me and provided for me in every way. Thank You.

To my family, I could not have asked for any one better than every single one of you. Some have gotten on my nerves at times, but that’s to be expected. Mommy said, Take care of one another, and I believe we have tried to do just that.

To my four children, Michael, Ivory, Garon, and Stephanie, I am so proud of each of you and the adults you have become. I am truly grateful for my many grandchildren. Right now, there are sixteen. Who knows what the future will bring? The more, the merrier! Stephanie, while I wish with all my heart you were here, I look forward to seeing you in heaven.

To Junior, who gave me four beautiful children whom I am so proud of and the many opportunities for God to draw me closer to Him because of you.

To Abe, for making my life very interesting—never a dull moment! And for motivating me to keep moving forward. In times of trouble when I would be prone to worry, you would tell me it will be all right. Your positive attitude is a blessing to me.

To All Nations Church of God—my church family. You were my special place of refuge in many times of trouble. All Nations Church of God is where I learned so much. Thank you for pouring out your love to me.

And to my friends, who took the time to pray me through my troubles. I could not ask for better.

Love you all.

I am Pastor Tony Addinall, senior pastor of All Nations Church in Woodbridge Virginia. I am honored to have been asked by Diane to write the foreword to this inspiring book. I have known Diane for over thirty-five years. I’ve seen her weather the storms of life, from her earlier marriage and the trials she faced there to her many health challenges to include cancer three times. I’ve seen her give her life and face times of financial hardship but still have the ability to press forward. I’ve seen her sing for God’s glory through her pain and encourage others by the words and her beautiful melodic voice. I’ve seen her make mistakes, own those mistakes, and still trust God for His forgiveness and His wisdom to help her going forward. A few years ago, I said to Diane, For all that you have been through, you need to write your story to help others face their storms. These chapters that chronicle her life will help you to see that we can make mistakes and we can even feel defeated at times, but through it all, we can learn that God still has a plan for our lives. Enjoy this book, and in the end, I pray that you will make room in your heart for God to carry you through.

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Pastor Tony

Most of us learn lessons the hard way—me included! I’ve heard it told, A wise man learns from others’ mistakes. I guess that makes us not very wise because unfortunately, most of us learn from our own mistakes. I remember my mother trying to tell me about someone I was seeing. I responded, Just because that happened to you, doesn’t mean it will happen to me. She was trying to tell me about her experiences, and instead of listening and taking good, honest counsel, I chose not to heed her advice. I chose to listen to myself. I was at an age where I thought I knew everything. But all was not lost! The lessons we learn can be beneficial not only to us but to others as well. God lets nothing be wasted. Our lives are an ongoing spiritual battle, and too many times, I have found out too late that I was not prepared for whatever I was facing because I was not focused on the spiritual but on worldly things. I learned that prayer is important, and it’s even more important to know the Word and how to speak the Word over the issues in our lives.

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Our lives are a story with a beginning, starting in the womb of our mom; the middle, all we go through; and then there is the end, when we leave this world. How awesome to know that God knew us before we were born. He had our lives planned, but not only do we need to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, we must stay focused on Him and what the Word tells us. God knew all the mistakes we would make, all the wrong turns we would take. He knew all the times we would be taken advantage of and hurt. And He knew beforehand how He would take all that the devil meant for evil—all those mistakes, even the things others did to hurt us, He will turn them around and make them work out for our good. The things we go through on our journey through life make up the chapters of our book of life. We will find that it is important how we deal with the outcome—the consequences based on the decisions we have made.

I am so grateful that my mother sent me to Sunday school, to church, and to Vacation Bible School. Whether I was totally listening or not, something sunk in to remind me from time to time that there is a right and a wrong. Too often I chose the wrong, but still I felt a ping from the Holy Spirit to let me know what just came out of my mouth was not the right thing to say or that was not the direction I told you to go. Those pings weren’t wasted, nor were my wrong missteps. God used them later in my life to help me, to remind me not to make the same mistakes, after He had my full attention.

Then there is the end of our story. I’ve worked with old people who are bitter and just downright mean and mad about their life. Usually it’s because of their unforgiveness for themselves and others. How sad it is to live a lifetime not knowing God and the richness He brings to our lives—to not have learned His Word and how powerful it is. How sad to think that after all they’ve been through, they have not taken the time to know what comes next—heaven or hell. Our story doesn’t end on earth. We have a future after we die. We get to spend eternity in heaven with our God and our loved ones who have reached heaven before us or in hell, forever separated from all that we love. The last chapter of our life will be when we close our eyes here on earth. But a new story begins in heaven. Too bad we can’t write about that chapter. How exciting that would be!

I have learned how important it is to believe the Word. Knowing and believing the Word, keeping a positive attitude, and staying in prayer makes the difference in whether we are defeated in our trials or we are overcomers. God made me know that my sole purpose in this life is to be ready and willing to be used by Him, to intercede for the ones I know and love, and to love the Lord with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind. We are contending for the faith daily, and we are doing battle with the enemy who tries at every turn to deter us from God and our faith in Him by any means necessary. He has been busy scheming-plotting, but God has been busy also.

There are times when things get so hard that I just wanted to give up. But then I would think, what am I giving up to? I can’t give up. I must not allow giving up to be an option. That’s what the enemy wants us to do—to get frustrated and take our eyes off Jesus. He wants us to stop reading the word and stop trusting God because things did not go our way. The devil wants us to believe that we are defeated—and we would be defeated without the Lord. Battle scars are part of life. We can’t get through this life without troubles. Attitude is so important. Our job is, no matter what, not to stop trusting in the Lord. We are to give God praise anyhow! He is the only one who can bring us through. In this life, Jesus says, we will have many troubles, but He has overcome the world, and through Him, we are overcomers too by the blood of the lamb. We are to be bold and strong in our faith.

One thing the enemy is good at is messing with our minds. Our minds are a playground for the enemy, and sometimes I feel like he is swinging on the swings and sliding down the sliding board going whee. He’s just having a ball messing with us. Our minds are the battlefield. He tells us things like, God doesn’t love you. Look at all you have done. If you don’t do something about this situation, you have no one to blame but yourself. And so we go off and make our plans to solve the problem, not realizing that God is the problem solver, not us. If you don’t know how to listen for God’s still, small voice, sometimes it is hard to know which way to go. We need to learn to stand still and wait on the Lord. We need to know who is leading us, and when we are not sure of the direction, stay in place and don’t do anything until you hear from God—stand!

The things God brings us through, the lessons we have learned are not our experiences to keep to ourselves. He brings us through them as a testimony to help others and to build our trust in Him. I believe and trust in the one who forgave me and saved me, who encouraged me and healed me, who blessed me over and over again, often in spite of myself. How can I not tell others of His goodness, His mercy, and His grace? Without problems, we would not know what God is capable of doing.

Our lives are a journey, with different seasons, mountaintop experiences, and walks through the valleys. I’ve made too many mistakes to count, but somewhere along the way, God opened up my eyes and made me see that this life is really short and how we use this short period He has given us is crucial. After the death of Junior, my first husband, I wanted to make sure I never made the mistakes I made in the past. It was important I learned from those mistakes. I wanted to live my life not only to the best of my ability, but to the best of God’s ability, and that leaves me open to a whole bunch of good stuff. With God’s help, I’ll live it for Him. So every day it is, God, tell me what to do, show me how to do it, send people into my life that I can be a blessing to, show me how to please You, Lord.

I want to share my life with you. It is my hope that you will

gleam something good from it that will bless you.

I have often heard it asked, why did God make me? Do I actually have a purpose? In the past, I have asked that same question. It took me a while, but I learned that we all have a specific purpose in life. At some point in our life, we get to where we have to ask that question. Usually it’s when we are going through something bad and we feel a dissatisfaction with ourselves and the way our life is going. Sometimes our life does seem meaningless and even hopeless. But that’s because we are not focusing on our relationship with God or we just don’t know Him. We are busy trying to be happy, doing what we want to do, accomplishing our goals. God is not who we are seeking. Our focus is on ourselves and our issues. But regardless of what we want, God Himself puts the desire to know Him within us. He made us with eternity inside our hearts, and what is finite can never satisfy us completely because temporal satisfactions always fade and leave us hungering for something else—something more. God created us for a relationship with Himself and is eager that we would want it too. God has awesome plans for our lives. But God also made us with a free will to do as we please in this life.

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In 1 Corinthians 15:19, it says, If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. Thank God that there is more to life than just us and our daily problems that seem to never end. I gave my heart to the Lord. After going through some things, I began to understand that God did not just put me here to be happy. What I had to come to realize was that God was using those negative things in my life to draw me closer to Him so I could know Him better. He made me recognize that I needed Him in every area of my life. I needed to be changed from the inside out, and only He could do this. We are not an absentminded thought of God nor are we just another creation. As a matter of fact, we were all created with a specific purpose in God’s mind. He put us here to serve Him and bring glory and honor to Him through our lives. Unfortunately, everyone is not born into a Christian family with parents who are saved and have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ—who train us and raise us up in the way we should go. Most of us learn along the way who God is and how much He loves us and wants to work in our lives.

Each of us is called to serve in a different way. Some are called to be teachers, preachers, singers. Some are gifted with the ability to write and speak, a gift for technology or creativity, etc. All the talents and gifts that God has given to us, He gave to us to use for our growth, to help others, and to bring Him glory.

Before we knew Him, God knew us. He knew about all the bad things we would do, but He also knew that one day we would give our lives to Him, and all those bad things would become our testimony of His forgiveness, mercy, and grace. He uses all our circumstances to teach us lessons, to help us grow closer to Him, to share with someone else in order to make a difference in their life. God uses our difficulties to help us to know Him, understand who He is and how powerful He is. He uses the details of our life to build our faith and trust in Him. We will all go through troubles and trials, but we have to come through with a testimony of faith to share or what we went through was wasted. What I’ve been through may not be what you’ve been through. You have a different story to tell, different battle scars, a different testimony, which is a good thing. Allow God to use you.

God made us a wonderful world to live out our lives. He gave us lovely scenery to look at, fresh air to breathe, fields to run in, water to swim in, birds to listen to, and flowers to smell. Our five senses experience His creation every day. All of creation points back to an ingenious God who hasn’t missed a detail.

Of all the creatures God has made, man is the most ingenious. We are the only creation that is made in God’s own image. We alone of all creation have the potential to have a relationship with our Creator. If we never read the Word or went to church, we would still have all we need to know that there is an existing God based on what we see all around us. Nothing could have gone bang to create the detail and intricacies of the things He has made. Romans 1:19–20 says, For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. Ever since the creation of the world his invisible nature, namely, his eternal power and deity, has been clearly perceived in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. When we stand before God, we will have no excuse. Our plea could never be, But I never heard, I never saw, nobody told me…

From the time I gave my heart and life to Christ, He has been working in it, working on me to bring me to where I am today. He took me down different roads to teach me not to be selfish, to show me how much I need forgiveness and mercy. He led me down another road to show me who I am for real inside and that I cannot live apart from Him. I have gone down many roads. There were paths I went down that He said, No, don’t go that way, but I went anyway because I had not learned to listen to that still, small voice or that God knows better than me on what is good for me. But God used my disobedience, even my rebellion, and somehow made something good come out of it—a testimony to help someone else, to humble me, and to give Him glory. It was on those roads of mistakes that I learned to pay attention to his voice, to be obedient instead of disobedient. It was on those paths that I learned He was still with me and did not leave me even though I went my own way. God will always lead us back to Him if we are willing to turn from our wicked ways—back on the road He wants us to be on. He comes after that one sheep who has gone astray, not just that one time but over and over again. But there are always consequences for going our own way. There has to be consequences so that we will learn that God’s way is always best. God will use those circumstances to help someone else not to do what we did. And He will give us the courage to tell our story.

Our life is our ministry. Every aspect of it tells of His love for us—His forgiveness, His mercy, and His grace. I tell the stories to others who are hurting and don’t know what to do. They don’t know who God is. They don’t know the lengths He went to by sending His Son Jesus to die on a cross to save them. They need to know the difference Jesus Christ will make in their life. They wonder if God still loves them. It’s sad but true that they will listen to the devil telling them what they did was unforgiveable. I tell them about how I know God is real—not because someone told me, but because I asked Him myself to show me who He is. He showed me over and over how real He is and how much He loves me and cares about every want and need that I have. I tell them stories of what God did for me because people can relate to a reality that they are going through. There is truly nothing new under the sun, and hearing that someone other than themselves failed and being able to see that they have risen above that failure is something worth listening to. Hearing about what God can do in my life motivates them to think, If God did that for you, surely there is hope for me.

A wonderful woman of God in my church said one Sunday to me, When I see you, you always have a smile on your face in spite of what you are going through. You give me hope. That brought tears to my eyes. It brought joy to my heart and encouraged me to be mindful of my countenance, because I know that I don’t always have a smile on my face—I look like how I feel—down. She just caught me at the right moment and taught me a lesson. You never know who is watching you or how they are thinking about you. Another Sunday, I was having a pity party by myself because everyone was talking to everyone else, and no one came to talk to me. I felt left out. God said to me, Show yourself friendly. I knew what that meant, so I went and talked to people. I immediately stopped listening to myself and put a smile on my face, went over and shook their hands, blessed them, and thanked them for coming to church. God made me take my mind off me to be a blessing to someone else. We spend a lot of time in life thinking about our wants and needs and too little time thinking of others and their needs. These are lessons learned, small but important.

We know that there are no perfect people in this world. And if we never did anything wrong, how could we help someone else? So don’t beat yourself up too much about the woulda, coulda, shouldas—God’s gonna use them. And most important, don’t live in the past. By going through the trials, going the wrong way, if we let Him, He will use our life adventures—the negatives as well as the positives—as a testimony to others. I am reminded of something I heard T. D. Jakes say. He said, I don’t want someone who hasn’t been through anything to pray for me. I want someone who has been through something and because of that, they know what they are talking about and how to pray for me. When we go through things, we know what we are talking about when we pray for someone who is going through similar circumstances because we have been there and done that. More importantly, God delivered us with a testimony to share.

We have all fallen at some point in time, but as long as we continue to get up and ask for forgiveness, we not only change our lives into something useful for God, but we also change the lives of others through our testimonies. We can tell them, When I was in your position, this is what God did for me when I called out to Him. As much as I know how interesting this book would really be if I told all the bad things I have ever done, I’m not trying to give any place to the devil. My story is about God’s goodness toward me in the midst of some of the worst times in my life as well as the good times. God deserves the praise, not the enemy. Yes, the enemy has won some skirmishes, but God has won the war and brought me through each battle triumphant even when it looked like the enemy had won. Yes, I had to go through some hard things, but the devil really hasn’t won because God took what the enemy meant for evil and turned it into a testimony. I have more than enough testimonies to fill a lifetime. I choose to give praise, glory, and honor to God. I want to show His goodness and His mercy and tell others what I know He can do with just a little bit of faith as small as a grain of mustard seed, and a lot of times, that’s all that I had to offer God. Whatever faith I have, God gave even that to me. Nothing that I have done or achieved in this life was done on my own merit. God did it!

God is speaking to you in so many different ways to draw you to Him. He is using circumstances, people, nature to woo you to Him. He’s trying to show you He is real and He is there for you. He is showing you daily that you need Him—you need His love, His help, His guidance. Don’t turn your back when you feel that tug on your spirit. We weren’t meant to live this life apart from Him. We desperately need God in our life. God wants us to know that He loves us unconditionally. Jesus did an awesome thing when He gave His life on the cross for us. God spoke to me one day when I was feeling so down. He said, If you allow Me, I will use you to be a blessing to those around you and to Me. If you will allow Me, I will use your life to bring Me glory and honor. It won’t always be good that happens to you. You won’t always be happy. There will be times when you feel like life is not worth living. But if you trust Me and learn of Me, praise and worship Me in the midst of your circumstances, and not give up, I will fill your spirit with joy to overflowing. I will bless you abundantly in this life and the one to come. I can’t even express how encouraging those words were to me.

Instead of doubting, we need to daily look for God in our life—in our circumstances. If you are a Christian, God is working in you. If you are not a Christian, God is still working in your life. He is trying to get your attention. He wants to bring you to Christ—to salvation. In 1 Timothy 2:4, it tells us that it is His desire to have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

God has a plan for your life and looks for opportunities to show Himself mighty. I know that all that He has done for me, He will do for you. Be encouraged and seek after the Lord while He may be found. I’m excited about what the Lord has done for me. I get even more excited as I lift up prayers to Him, to see how He is going to work them out. Jehovah is an awesome God. I want you to take time to know Him so that you can live a fulfilled and blessed life. Without Jesus as our savior, life is wasted—it is meaningless!

God knew everything that would happen in your life before you were born—the good, the bad, and the ugly. There is no need to worry or fear. Don’t you see, if He knew you before you were born, what happens in your life is all a part of His plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11; italics mine)

You Know Me, Oh Lord

You have searched me, Lord, and you

know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you

perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my

going out and my lying

down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is

on my tongue you Lord, know it completely. You hem me

in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me

to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I

flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you

are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far

side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the

Lord will hide me and the light become night around me," even

the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the

day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost

being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you. If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, Lord, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies. Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139)

Make His Praise Glorious

Shout for joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of

his name; make his praise glorious. Say to God,"How

awesome are

your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe

before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise

to you they sing the praises of your name."

Come and see what God has done, his awesome deeds for

mankind!

He turned the sea into dry land, they passed through the waters on

foot—come, let us rejoice in him. He rules forever by his

power, his eyes watch the nations—let not

the rebellious rise up against him.

Praise our God, all peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard;

he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping.

For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.

You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water,

but you brought us to a place of abundance.

I will come to your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows

to you—vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke when I was

in trouble. I will sacrifice fat animals to you and an offering of rams;

I will offer bulls and goats.

Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you

what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my

mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished

sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely

listened and has heard my prayer. Praise be to God,

who has not rejected my prayer or withheld

his love from me!

(Psalm 66)

God created everything, and the creation of family was God’s idea. I know He had something beautiful in mind when He originated man and woman and told them to multiply. They were to become a family. In Genesis 1:26–27, the Bible tells us that although Adam and Eve were the first family, they were disobedient and transgressed against God their creator, and their sin created never-ending struggles for us while we are here on this earth. That was some serious disobedience. It makes you think about our own disobedience and our relationship with God. When they disobeyed, they were immediately punished, which led to the fall of humanity. Because of that fall, nothing in this world is perfect anymore, including the family we were born into. Because of the fall, God has given us the ability to make our own choices—to believe or not to believe, to obey or not to obey. But choosing the family we are born into is not one of those choices. We have to take what we have been given and make the best of it.

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My Family

How do I describe my family? I’d like to say we were a normal family, but I’m not sure what normal looks like or whether normal is an appropriate word to use as a description. But whether we were normal or not, we were family. There were my parents, Woodrow Anderson and Mary Elizabeth Beverly, and my three siblings, Bobby, Linda, and Denise—in that order from the oldest to the youngest. I came after Bobby. I don’t know if that makes me a middle child or what. Both my parents were strong-minded people in their own way. They were both kind and giving. But it was Mom who took no mess. There was no talking back from us kids for any reason. Of course, we tried, and there were consequences to pay.

Mary Elizabeth raised us four kids the best she could and went out of her way to make sure we were taken good care of. We didn’t always have new things, but she made sure we always looked nice and had what we needed and sometimes wanted. She had a good sense of humor and created so many funny moments. Sometimes those moments were a bit embarrassing because it seemed like Mommy had no shame. She was just who she was—a wonderful, funny mom who worked hard to take care of us because she wanted us to have the best—at least better than what she had growing up. Growing up with Mary as our mom taught us how to do everything. We cleaned the house from top to bottom, took clothes to the laundry mat, and hung them out on the line in winter, summer, spring, and fall. We learned how to cook and clean, and it better be done right the first time or you had to do it again, and don’t have to go somewhere like to the skating ring or outside to play. No fun until the work was done was her motto. When we were old enough and wanted more than what she could provide, she told us to get a job, and so I went to work when I was sixteen.

I truly felt loved by my mother and father and never once wondered if they loved me or not. I still remember the trips to Ida’s Department store on Georgia Avenue to get something new for school or Easter. If I wandered off, she would yell Diane so loud, I wouldn’t even answer because I didn’t want people to know I knew somebody who would yell so embarrassingly loud. To look at Mary, you might think she was a white woman because of her complexion, her blond hair, and blue-gray eyes, but when she opened her mouth, she was so hood. She wouldn’t call you just once but many times until finally I had no choice but to answer while doing my best to get to her as fast as I could so I too did not have to yell back and make the moment even more embarrassing. We were on the elevator once—full of people—and Mommy farted really loud. I can’t even describe how soooo embarrassed I was. Everyone was frowning, and no one said a word. What could you say? Suddenly Mommy said, Well, there’s more room out than there is in. Like I said, she was embarrassing sometimes but funny. None of us could wait to get off the elevator.

If we were being disobedient, Mary had no problem telling you to go outside and get a switch. And don’t you dare make me go pick one out! she’d say. But she didn’t need to wait for a switch. A belt, shoe, extension cord, or the back of her hand seemed to work just as well.

You’ve heard the saying spare the rod, spoil the child? I always thought this saying came from the Bible, but it doesn’t. However, the Bible does say in Proverbs 22:15: Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. And Proverbs 23:13–14 says: Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell [i.e., death]. Mary did not spare the rod by any means. And I must say she tried to drive the foolishness from us often. Most of the time, we deserved the spankings we received because we were full of folly.

On occasion, Mommy would pick us up after school and take us to Hot Shoppes to eat. That was a special treat. I still remember the Mighty Mo I would order and the salad with the special French dressing and always a hot fudge Sunday. Mommy told me her real mother was named Rosa Butler. I don’t remember her, and I don’t even think I ever met her. I was told Rosa died in a mental institution. Mommy’s father was a white German doctor whose last name was Majors. I never met my mother’s father either, but I do have a picture of her grandfather. My mom had a hard life, partly because to look at her, you saw a white woman. There were those in her family who resented her because of that. You’d think her coloring would work positively for her, and at times, it did, but she was married to a black man and had four black children, and when we were together, folks would stare and wonder. Some would wonder out loud. She was beautiful, and of all her children, I must say I look the most like her. At least I think so.

For a time, Mommy worked at People’s Drug Store behind the counter serving food on Rhode Island Avenue, in Northeast Washington, DC. I don’t know what prompted us, but one day after school, all of us kids decided we would surprise Mommy, so we went to where she worked, and sat at the counter to order food. She questioned why we were there and was none too pleased, but she gave us each a hamburger with French fries and a Coke. Someone working behind the counter with Mommy asked her whose children these were.

She couldn’t deny us, so she said we were hers. Here is this white woman with these black kids, and that was the end of her job at People’s Drug Store. (Unfortunately, that’s how prejudice worked in that day.) After we finished eating, Mommy sent us home. When she got home that evening, she told us she was fired and had to find another job. She didn’t really say it was because of us, but we knew.

My mom was resourceful and quickly found a new job as an elevator operator in the Doctor’s Office Building on I Street, Northwest, in DC. We would go there sometimes to pick her up from work with our father who worked for the Pentagon and drove a federal cab in the evenings. There was an elderly lady we called Ms. May who lived in the basement of the building. She often made doll baby clothes for our dolls. I always looked forward to going to pick Mommy up because I knew I would get something new for my doll, some candy, or sometimes even a quarter. She was so kind as to always have something for us when we came, as if she anticipated our coming.

Anderson Woodrow Beverly, my father, was born in King George County, Virginia. He was a good-looking man, and I loved him very much because he made me feel special. I know parents aren’t supposed to have favorites, but he always made me feel like I was his favorite child—next to Bobby, the only boy of course. Sorry, Linda and Denise. He called me his monkey. I really don’t know why. Maybe that was just his name of endearment for me because I was such a tomboy. I was always climbing trees, riding my bike, running around, and too often trying my mom’s patience. Woody, as my father was called, was different. I can’t remember ever being spanked by him. I can’t even remember a time when he really fussed at me or raised his voice at me for anything. That’s probably because I also don’t remember him being at home a lot to catch my many bad antics. Once my sister Linda and I were fighting and jumping all over the bed. I saw my father tiptoeing up the steps, and I immediately stopped hitting Linda and started crying out loud while letting her hit me. Our dad saw us fighting, but more importantly at that time, he saw her hitting me. He picked her up and spanked her good. I could hardly hold back the laughter as I quickly jumped off the bed. She still brings that up from time to time.

I was born on his birthday, September 19, which could have made me special. My mother use to say, You’re just like your father, when she was getting upset with me. However, it was the way she said it which made it not so positive sounding. Where Mary was loud and sort of demanding—that Leo the lion zodiac sign coming out—my father was sort of quiet and not controlling at all. I don’t remember him winning too many fights with our mom, verbal or otherwise.

My mother’s home was in Newport, Rhode Island. When Rosa died, my mom was adopted by Rosa’s sister, Elise Young, whom we knew as Nana. Nana had other siblings—Matilda, known as Aunt Tee Tee, a brother, Uncle John, and three children, Aunt Loretta, Aunt Madilyn, and Uncle Bobby. My father was a sailor stationed in Newport. He met my mother, and they got married and moved from Newport to Washington, DC, to build their life together.

We lived in so many places I am surprised I remember them all. I do remember when there was just Bobby and me, and we lived in Indianhead, Maryland, for a brief period. At that time, my father was stationed there on the base, and we lived in a white two-bedroom brick house that was all on one floor. I do remember our bedroom had pretty pine paneling on the wall, and Bobby and I shared this room. Hurricane Hazel came through one day causing streets and homes to be flooded. I saw children outside playing in the water, and I wanted to go out and play in it too, but Mommy wouldn’t let me. I became very upset and started acting out and getting my behind spanked because of my bad behavior. I got spanked often.

One day while Mommy and Daddy weren’t at home, Bobby knew where Daddy kept his BB rifle, and he went and got it. There was a picture on the wall in their bedroom of birds flying in the air and ducks swimming on the water. Bobby said, Watch me shoot those birds. Bobby decided they would make a good target and shot the birds, which put holes in the picture and wall. He was always getting into trouble and trying to drag me into his mischief. I said, Look what you did. You’re going to get it. He told me not to tell, like they would not be able to notice the holes. He got a whipping because of that. I wasn’t willing to take any blame and get spanked too, so I let them know he did this all by himself.

Often Daddy would come home late at night drunk, and Mommy and Daddy would argue. He wasn’t an angry drunk. When he got home, all he wanted to do was go to sleep and be left alone. But that was not Mommy’s way. That’s when a lot of yelling and screaming went on. Mostly Mommy doing all the yelling. This happened quite often, and it would upset Bobby and me to the point where Bobby would run outside and hide, and once, I had to be sent to the hospital on a couple of occasions. I don’t remember going to the hospital, but my grandmother told me I had a nervous breakdown when I was five because of their constant fighting.

On numerous occasions, my dad took us to his home in King George, Virginia. It was the country to me, and I never really liked the country. I hated the bees and bugs, and it was always too hot, and there was no air conditioning in the old yellow house he grew up in. I had my own calf—at least I thought