I’m Just Simply Saying: Marriage Takes Work

By Rhoda M. Whitfield

The excitement, joy, and love you have for each other when you marry is indescribable. You’re looking forward to the future you’re building together. You discuss purchasing your first home, having a family, and spending the rest of your lives together. But do you discuss the work it will take to sustain your marriage?

In I’m Just Simply Saying, author and marriage coach Rhoda Whitfield helps you tackle the ups, downs, bumps, and bruises of marriage. She discusses that even though some days may be burdensome, it is not a reason to give up. This guide emphasizes the importance of including God in the marriage as you work to blend personalities and differences as you move toward becoming one. God promotes that unity, harmony, and oneness.

The principles explained in I’m Just Simply Saying demonstrate that if you work together, learn how to communicate effectively, and practice forgiveness, you’ll work on your marriage, your marriage will work, and you will see the beauty of it all. In this season of your lives, love hard and work your marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 14, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664229471

Rhoda M. Whitfield

Rhoda Whitfield is a marriage coach and writes a marital column titled “Just Simply Saying” in Purpose Driven Women magazine. She and her husband, Rev. Danny Whitfield, coauthored A Well-Rounded Love Affair: More Than between the Sheets. They facilitate marriage workshops, conduct premarital and marriage counseling, host a podcast titled Marriage Takes Work on Facebook, and have a “Marriage Takes Work” weekly radio segment on Hallelujah 95.3 FM.

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Rhoda M. Whitfield.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

• Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

• Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

• Scripture taken from the New King James Version® Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2945-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2946-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2947-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021906435

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/21/2021

Dedication

Danny, God could not have blessed me with a better husband than you. You have been the love of my life for over forty years. You’ve seen me through some difficult times, and you chose to stand with me through them all. We have worked our marriage through the ups, downs, bumps, and bruises, but we never gave up on each other.

I thank God for you, because you were a valuable gift designed with me in mind. Of all the men in the world, none of them can stand in your shoes in my eyes. When God made you, He broke the mold. Bae, I have told you before: I love being your wife, and I feel blessed to call you husband.

You are my number one everything. By that, I mean you have always been and will always be my number one love, my number one supporter, and my number one encourager. As always, you’ve done it again, and I thank you for encouraging me to complete this project.

Therefore, I dedicate this book to you because of who you are and what you mean to me. If I were offered the opportunity to redo life all over again, it would still be done with you.

I love you,

Rhoda

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Author’s Introductory Message

Opening Prayer

Chapter 1 The Essence of Prayer

Chapter 2 Taking Your Marriage into a Season to Be Renewed, Restored, and Rejuvenated

Chapter 3 Deal Breakers: Things Couples Should Discuss Before Marriage

Chapter 4 The Hardest Years of a Marriage

Chapter 5 Breaking Relationship Patterns

Chapter 6 It’s Okay to Ask for Help

Chapter 7 Kinks and Knots

Chapter 8 Who’s Right? Or What’s Right?

Chapter 9 Blended Family: It’s Hard, but It Can Work

Chapter 10 It’s Not Wise to Close the Shop: The Side Chick Awaits

Chapter 11 Overcoming Difficulties in Your Marriage: The Essence of Becoming One

Chapter 12 When You Find Yourself at the End of Your Rope

Chapter 13 Marital Longevity: Don’t Wait Too Late to Put in the Work

Chapter 14 Using Wisdom in Your Marriage

Chapter 15 Reasonable Expectations to Restore Trust

Chapter 16 Are You Big Enough?

Closing Prayer

Afterword

Foreword

Not communication. Not trust. Not commitment. Not financial security. Not companionship. None of these stands alone as the key to a successful marriage. There must be a balanced combination of them all for couples to create sustainable love.

After having conquered forty years of holy matrimony, Rhoda Whitfield has set an example for the power of nurturing your marriage daily. When I first met Mrs. Whitfield, I was in my early teens. Since then, I have personally witnessed her and her husband, Rev. Whitfield, sustain a healthy marriage while helping others do the same. Her passion for seeing couples succeed led her to be a columnist in my publication, Purpose Driven Women Magazine. Her candid, straightforward approach to marital advice provided a space where women felt comfortable sending their questions and frustrations to receive advice on how they could cultivate a successful union. She has continued to offer profound and inspiring words of wisdom in her bimonthly column, Just Simply Saying.

Marriage was designed to be a space for longevity, companionship, and joyfulness. Mrs. Whitfield’s passionate approach to discussing difficult topics offers a rare and powerful glimpse into what it takes for marriages to thrive and provides guidance for couples to enjoy life together happily ever after genuinely. I am thankful for all the martial nuggets Mrs. Whitfield has shared over the course of my seven years of marriage. I am grateful that a book like this exists. Her candid, moving, and uplifting words gleam with the sort of wisdom that couples can lean on time and time again.

Mrs. Kimi Johnson

Publisher, Purpose Driven Women Magazine

Preface

With forty years of marital experience, I’ve witnessed my beloved friend Mrs. Rhoda Whitfield become an expert on marriage issues. She speaks openly, candidly, and willingly to all couples. While giving unbiased advice to newlyweds and encouraging support to seasoned couples, you will often hear her say, Marriage takes work!

Mrs. Whitfield experienced the sudden death of her son in 2015. That experience left her pondering how and why she should go on, and what her purpose would be. God heard her cry and responded with a resounding response: "Ministry,