The Odd Guide to Happiness & Wellbeing

By Kerry Souter

Years of unprocessed grief led to a suicide attempt followed by two years of anhedonia, agoraphobia, anxiety and depression. I had literally lost the will to live.

A gift of daffodils triggered an awakening in me.

In the year that followed I wrote and performed over 50 Facebook Lives, performed stand up comedy with a Bonsai Tree and hosted a weekly community Radio show.

This is the oddest guide to Happiness you will ever read but if you are dealing with depression yourself, it might just save your life.

It saved mine.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: Dec 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982282905

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Copyright © 2021 Kerry Souter.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8289-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8290-5 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 01/13/2021

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Prologue

March 2018

Chapter 1 Awakening

Chapter 2 Video

Chapter 3 Radio Killed the Video Star

Chapter 4 Love versus Fear

Chapter 5 Laughter is the Cure

Chapter 6 Don the Bon(Sai)

Chapter 7 Leap of Faith

Chapter 8 Mindfulness

Chapter 9 Grieving

Chapter 10 Privacy

Chapter 11 Healing

Chapter 12 Full Circle

Kerry Souter loves reading, writing, performing,

comedy, laughing, trees and sunshine. She lives in

Essex, UK and is forever hopeful of brighter days.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

To everyone who has loved me when I didn’t love myself.

To everyone who has helped in me in some way, you know who you are.

There are too many to count.

It has taken me until now to understand that connection is everything.

Without it we have nothing.

This book is for all of you.

You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.

RUMI

PROLOGUE

When I started writing this book in the summer of 2019 the world was a very different place.

With the arrival of COVID-19, the virus that has caused so much disruption to so many peoples lives, it occurred to me there was no point in me writing it. Fear and confusion have become prevalent and so much of what I did between 2018 and 2019 has been restricted it seems like a lifetime ago.

I was performing to live audiences during the time I attempted to rehabilitate my own mental state but now there is a worldwide drive to save the arts.

Many people have lost their lives, there are multiple conspiracy theories, with people taking different stands on how to behave, what to believe and what to do for the best.

Some people outright refuse to wear face masks on the grounds it’s tantamount to wearing a muzzle and is a form of control whilst others actively promote the wearing of masks and admonish others for not doing the same.

Policies and procedures within both large and small places of business reviewed and adapted under ever changing legislation.

Many places of business have been forced to close and a huge amount of people have lost their jobs.

There are guidelines on how many people can enter your home and families have been unable to see each other.

The virus has caused mass separation and disconnection and the world plummeted into confusion and fear.

The guidelines and rules on what to do change very single day, to the point it’s become a farce.

Nobody knows what to do for the best and indeed how to avoid contracting the virus, other than to wash your hands regularly, stay 2 metres away from people not inside your household, wear a mask inside public places unless exempt. Thats just it, too many different rules which change everyday.

The first lockdown in the UK subsequently caused a lot of fear and panic.

On a personal level my own mental health took a turn for the worse again.

In the past I’ve suffered from claustrophobia and panic attacks and found myself having these again after years of being free.

With my anxiety rising I washed my hands until they were red raw when the news came out. I checked the death rates every day until I forced myself to stop.

In short, by July 2020, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and now this book is also about my attempt to manage that diagnoses as well.

That’s the thing, everybody is different, no two people are the same but it doesn’t mean they are any less worthy because of it.

For many months it seemed impossible for me to write a book about