Transcending Bipolar Disorder: My Own True Story of Recovery from Mental Illness

By B. Robert Jameson

Author Robert Jameson was leading a very successful life as a husband, recent PhD graduate, and professional chemist when he first noticed feeling somewhat abnormal. As stresses mounted over time, Robert slowly approached one of the most significant moments in his life. After a stunning and unexpected admission from his sister, Roberts actions began to spiral out of control, culminating in his being diagnosed as bipolar.

The struggle with mental illness can be a long and arduous one. Robert describes his journey to wellness, from his collapse to his eventual successful transcendence to health. He describes how his desire to be well and his drive to seek out nontraditional recovery methods eventually led to his success.

Following the inspiring tale of his own journey, Robert has detailed a comprehensive self-help guide to recovery. This guide seeks to help those suffering from mental illness or their friends or family interested in helping someone recover.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Feb 25, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469784816

B. Robert Jameson

Robert Jamesonis a scientist with a PhD in organic chemistry. While he has coauthored many scientific publications throughout his career in both organic and medicinal chemistry, this is his first book. He and his wife, Linda, have two children and live in Montreal, Quebec.

Book preview

Transcending

Bipolar

Disorder

My Own True Story

of Recovery

from Mental Illness

B. Robert Jameson

iUniverse, Inc.

Bloomington

Transcending Bipolar Disorder

My Own True Story of Recovery from Mental Illness

Copyright © 2012 B. Robert Jameson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-4697-8480-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4697-8482-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4697-8481-6 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 2/16/2012

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Part 1 My Story

Chapter 1: Lead-up and First Hospitalization—Breakdown

Chapter 2: Second Hospitalization and Aftermath—Picking up the Pieces

Chapter 3: Third Hospitalization—Power Overload

Chapter 4: Fourth Hospitalization—Confrontation and Standoff

Chapter 5: Fifth Hospitalization—Victory

Epilogue

Part 2 Transcending Bipolar Disorder

Foreword

Chapter 6: Newly Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder

Chapter 7: Some Thoughts on Hypomania, Mania and Psychosis

Chapter 8: Dealing with and Overcoming Depression

Chapter 9: Transcending Bipolar Disorder: Strategies and Exercises

Chapter 10: Advice for Those Trying to Help

Conclusion

This book is dedicated to the Glory of God, Who is the Source of all true healing, the Giver of knowledge, and the One who answers prayers.

For Linda, the love of my life;

for my children and for yours,

who show that life is worth fighting for.

Disclaimer

The information contained in this book describes my story and how I successfully recovered from bipolar disorder. I am not a medical doctor, nor am I a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and thus I am not authorized or qualified to give such medical advice. For any medical issues, it is critical to consult a qualified doctor. Such a role as I can play is limited to providing an example of a recovered individual, and giving examples of what strategies, attitudes and behaviours worked for me. I believe this role is valuable but must not replace the role of a doctor or psychologist.

Preface

Slowly, the fragments of sanity began to come back together. All four limbs were tied down to a hospital bed. I was isolated in a separate section of the emergency ward at the hospital. Everything was white in the room, so antiseptic by look and smell that it seemed nothing could take root and grow there, not even bacteria. A hostile set of fluorescent white lights beat down on me. At some point my clothing had been removed and I had been dressed in a hospital gown, but I didn’t remember when.

I remembered other events, though.

I remembered the agony of the insanity. The shame of the things I had done.

Life no longer seemed familiar. How could I have acted that way? Said those things? Done those things? What had happened to me?

As my sanity returned, I had to face my new reality.

Bipolar disorder.

Acknowledgments

I would like to acknowledge everyone who helped and supported me throughout my illness. First and foremost, I would like to thank my dear wife, Linda, who stood by me throughout. I honestly don’t think I would have made it without you. I would like to thank my parents for their support before, during and after my illness. Their presence was a big help too. I would like to thank my parents, my brother and sister, and my in-laws for being involved in my life. I owe a debt of gratitude to the company where I used to work for holding my job for me despite many work absences, and bearing with me until I was well. I would also like to thank my former coworkers (and still friends!) for their friendship.

I would like to thank the fellow members of my online spiritual forums for inspiration and some helpful feedback on this text. Most of all, I would like to thank God for healing me from bipolar disorder and giving me the inspiration to write this book.

Introduction

This book is a story of hope, of transcending darkness to arrive at a place of happiness. I wrote it for several reasons. The first reason is to give glory to God in gratitude for my healing. Aside from that I have written to describe how I was healed and to provide an example of someone who completely recovered from this illness. To put it frankly, I believe there is too much gloom and fatalism over this illness. If there are cases of cancer remission, why is it so impossible to believe in cases of bipolar recovery?

The first part of the book describes my struggle with the illness, from before my first episode in 2002 until the healing from the illness in 2006. I did not get better all at once—it was a progression toward healing that took several years.

There were two parts of the initial diagnosis that were most troubling. The first was that I’d had many experiences that were completely alien to me. I was shocked at my outrageous behaviour and was afraid of myself and what I might do next. This book describes a few of my outrageous behaviours without (I hope) descending into sensationalism. The readers who feel alienated as a result of bipolar disorder can rest assured that they are not alone, that others have shared in strange thoughts and behaviours.

The second part of the bipolar disorder diagnosis that greatly troubled me was that I was told I would have to take medication for the rest of my life. I had a negative attitude toward psychoactive medication, and frankly, I didn’t want to take it. I didn’t want the side effects that I felt sure medication would present. Furthermore, I felt taking this kind of medication was a crutch that was preventing me from healing. This attitude was responsible for several relapses, in retrospect. I would say now that medication does help stabilize a person, and while taking medication, he or she can work on their personality and spiritual development, analogous to high-wire performers who work with a net below them. If I can change anyone’s mind to take or stay on his or her medication, this book will be worth it.

I believe I am completely cured of bipolar disorder and no longer need medication, yet as you will read, I am still taking a light dosage every day. My wife and doctor want me to maintain this dosage, and I am complying (which is a miracle in itself!) even though I feel it is not really medically necessary. There is nothing further for me to prove in this area. As of writing this book, it has now been more than five years since my last and final bipolar relapse and hospitalization. I am not experiencing any side effects with the medication I am taking.

The second part of the book was written as a guide to help those who want to overcome bipolar disorder, as well as for family and friends of bipolar sufferers who would like to know what they can do to help. During my recovery, there were many setbacks. I hope to shed light on what went wrong in my case so that the healing process may be shorter and smoother for someone who wants to follow my example and advice.

I hope you enjoy this story and can find information herein that may be of benefit to you or others. Happy reading!

Part 1

My Story

Chapter 1:

Lead-up and First Hospitalization—Breakdown

There’s no limit to how high you can go.

—Ken (my boss).

It’s hard to know where to start the story about the effects of bipolar disorder in my life. The roots were very deep. Problematic trends accelerated and started to