Missing Links in Marriages & Families Journey: Rediscover the Joy of a Broken Heart

By Dr. Anniekie Ravhudzulo

There is something different about this book. Many couples are confused about how to find the will of God for their lives, marriages and families. Do you desire for more intimacy and passionate linking? Do you miss the feeling of togetherness that you and your spouse felt when you first met? As a couple, is it a problem for you to communicate openly? Are you scared that being honest will hurt each other’s feelings? Maybe you are feeling discouraged by stubborn arguments over apparently irrelevant issues. Alternatively, perhaps you have begun to feel like you have “fallen out of love”.

Do you want to have more sex or less sex than your spouse does? If you have had an affair, or if you have been hurt by your spouse’s infidelity, you might be feeling uncertain if, and how, you can settle your feelings, and be able to relink and connect. Remember, you are the person to initiate that, take heart.

Unless you learn to identify broken and missing links that disengage you from your marriage and family, you will continue to live in a relationship of finishing life together because of the children you have. In order for strong intimacy and deep connection to take place, forget about the lies of the devil, false messages and cracks around your heart. This is the foundation of rediscovering the joy of a broken heart in your life, marriage and family. A Pure and Forgiving Heart will Restore the Joy of your Broken and Missing Links to cover your physical, intellectual, spiritual and emotional aspect of your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: May 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9781984589040

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Dr. Anniekie Ravhudzulo.

ISBN:                Softcover                978-1-9845-8905-7

                          eBook                     978-1-9845-8904-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 05/08/2019

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Contents

Dedication: A marriage and Family Life Journey

Well Lived

Chapter 1     Rediscovering the Joy of Missing Links

Chapter 2     The Passion of Love for Marriage and

Family

Chapter 3     Links are Points of Reference

Chapter 4     Best Links Exist in Marriages and

Families

Chapter 5     Strong Links Need Maintenance

Chapter 6     Missing Links Develop Differently

Chapter 7     Creating an Awareness of Missing Links

Chapter 8     Missing Links in Marriages and Families

Chapter 9     Unforgivness is the Route to Missing Links

Chapter 10   Effects of Broken and Missing Links

Chapter 11   Missing Links are Not Permanent

Chapter 12   Accessing the Grace to Activate Missing Links

Chapter 13   Moving From Missing to Reliable Links

To Contact the Author

Other Books by the Author

DVD’s and CD’s by the author

Services by the Author

Dedication

Dr Mbulaheni Aaron ‘Boss’ Ravhudzulo

16 February 1949 - 07 March 2017.

A Marriage & Family Life Well Lived!

My beloved husband Dr Aaron Ravhudzulo, I want to take this opportunity to thank you for taking a decision and desired to make me (Anniekie Mavhunga) your wedded wife amongst so many young women from your place of birth, Nancefield at Messina in Limpopo Province, South Africa. In me, you Saw and loved a Helper Suitable, from the deep rural area somewhere at my place of birth called Mauluma at Dzanani, in Limpopo Province, South Africa. You did Not loved a Suitable Helper, but a Helper Suitable!

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Our Faith made us to commit ourselves to serve God with everything He Blessed us with, by His Grace. Circumstances, Challenges and Situations never moved us away from the Love of God. Even though Barrenness came as our "Missing Link", however, after six years of our marriage, God decided to open my womb and blessed us with four handsome, loving, hardworking, responsible and committed young men like you. The Missing Link of Barrenness became a "Reliable Link" which transformed our lives.

In our marriage, we worked as a TEAM in bringing up our four sons together in a godly manner and celebrate every achievement together as a family. I am happy our sons are running with the vision of what we have started before they were born! We were such an amazing couple within our marriage and family.

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You left that broad smile you used to give me for forty years (40) ago of our marriage with our sons. Their smiles give me courage and hope for a better future in life every single day since you left me! I am what I am today because of the unselfish spirit you had. Do you remember that when you married me I only had a Primary Teachers Certificate as my highest qualification? You supported, encouraged and mentored me throughout to upgrade my qualifications through correspondence from Matric until my Doctoral Degree Level. For me, this proved that you are my strongest link ever.

In 2000, you encouraged me to apply for an employment at the University of South Africa specifically, but I could not understand the language you were communicating with me. You saw your destiny that your calling will come when you are at Kloof Hospital in Pretoria, South Africa. Indeed, the University of South Africa employed me on 1st May 2002 as an Education Consultant in the Directorate: Curriculum and Learning Development. We really appreciate everything you have done for us me, your children and grandchildren, from the bottom of our hearts. Little did I know from 2015 when you were doing everything at the highest speed ever, you were preparing me to be able to face and finish life diligently and respectfully continuing to do what pleases God!

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Do you remember that all your sons, Hangwani, Hulisani, Thendo and Ndamulelo loved marriage because we were such a Good True Role Model for our marriage and family? All of them, wanted to get married because they saw a Real Bigger Picture of Marriage and family for Life Time. You were very proud of me, your beloved wife Anniekie and your "daughters in Love", who are married to our sons namely; Sarah, Lesego and Mohau!

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My beloved husband Aaron, you loved treasuring and spending time with your beloved grandchildren and you were always there for them! When they were born, you will go and see babies immediately after receiving the news from your sons. During your funeral, your grandchildren Muanza-Zwivhuya, Mulondi, Mukhethwa, Mukona-Zwothe, Ondwel-Uavhona & Hakundwi King Ravhudzulo wrote a note to express the love they had for you.

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You Supported our Ministry "Nothing Lasts Forever Ministries of Hope fully with everything, we had. Wherever our last-born son Ndamulelo The General Herald" would be ministering, you were there no matter what to support him! We enjoyed your Leadership Style, where you led us by example. Where would we be without you Daddy?

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You loved your family so much, during our children and grandchildren’s birthdays, you would take us out to celebrate every small achievement. We are what we are because of who you were to us! When you were with us, we were confident and sure of your love, security and leadership expertise.

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You are a real fighter, even when your health started to deteriorate and failed you; you were there for your marriage and family. You were and still our "Strongest Link. You taught us to be a loving and caring family. During Christmas time, you encouraged all of us to be at one place. This was powerful and we are keeping the Legacy, The Family that Stays Together, Prays Together" you left. You wanted us to fellowship together and build strong marriage and family links as the Aaron & Anniekie Generation. You taught us to "Manifest Jesus Christ in order to Possess Him".

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From all these, I have learnt that, it is aPure Heart that can maintain LOVE and avoid Missing Links in marriages and families. Three months after you were promoted to Glory by your Creator, it was not easy for all of us because we were not complete, we are all here, and you are living in another world. You will always be Loved and Remembered for your Good Works! There is "NOTHING" you did not do for us as a Husband, Companion, Friend, Father, Grandfather, Mentor, Priest of the House and our Good Role Model. Where would we be without you Aaron, my beloved husband? You left a "HUGE" Legacy! I promise you, the Legacy will continue until we meet you Daddy!

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The Grace of God is Sufficient for All of Us!

The legacy!

Chapter 1

Rediscovering the Joy of Missing Links

There is something different about this book. Many couples are confused about how to find the will of God for their lives, marriages and families. This chapter is an attempt to help you to rediscover the joy of missing links in marriages and families. Remember, your spouse’s discomfort causes you great discomfort. You feel pain when your spouse feels pain.

Perhaps your spouse has never seen a considerate and compassionate relationship between his/her parents and never learned the skills of compassion. However, it is possible that you are in a relationship with someone who has an absence of compassion symbols. Embrace it, he/she will learn from you and you will also learn from your spouse.

Do you yearn for more intimacy and passionate linking? Do you miss the feeling of togetherness that you and your spouse felt when you first met? As a couple, is it a problem for you to engage in open communication? Are you scared that being honest will hurt each other’s feelings? Maybe you are feeling discouraged by stubborn arguments over apparently irrelevant issues. Alternatively, perhaps you have begun to feel like you have "fallen out of love".

Do you want to have more sex (or less sex) than your spouse? If you have had an affair or if you have been hurt by your spouse’s infidelity, you might be feeling uncertain if and how you can settle your feelings and be able to relink. Remember, you must forgive and you are the person to initiate that, take heart and swallow your pride.

At some point in marriage and family relationships, even the most dedicated couples are confronted with unexpected challenges, situations and obstacles. If you feel stuck as a couple, you are not alone. Many couples arrive at this place without even knowing how they got there. A pure heart maintains forgiveness.

You can be surprised that your individual differences and apparently irresolvable struggles are not automatically a sign of incompatibility. They provide you with some limited challenges that will inspire each of you to grow together in the Lord. Your relationship is under repair and construction to link the missing links. The book you are reading now is not meant to provide you with all the missing links in marriage and family setup and how to reconnect. The main purpose of the book is to encourage you and your spouse to be more dependent on the guidance of the Holy Spirit as you are building strong marriages and families with good memories.

If at the present moment you are going through tough times, a journey