Own Your Stupidity

By Sids Ahky Stevens

A woman examines different stages in her life, including trials and tribulations. Can she be a product of her own environment by not having her biological father around? It was an impact on many of her decisions, especially with love and relationships. As she confronts life, she cannot deny what has been unfair to her. With different self-examinations and growth, the unconditional love of her grandmother, and the power of forgiveness, she was able to accept her own responsibilities and still have inner peace. By owning her truth, she has become more appreciative and thankful for the things that really does matter, which are her family and her supportive friends.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 6, 2016
• ISBN: 9781514472262

Sids Ahky Stevens

I am a product of single-family household that consists of a very strict mom. My father did not want to have anything to do with me. I was a troubled kid. When I was ten years old, I was hit by a car. My mother allowed me to be raised later by an amazing grandmother. When I got older, I pursued my master’s degree, established my faith, found love, and had two children. I lost my son to sudden infant death syndrome. After his death, I had to work harder on my marriage, and we were blessed to have our beautiful daughter. As she had gotten older, I wanted to achieve more attainable goals and serve my community. Most of all, I want to show my daughter that although I am Mommy, I can be amazing too.

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Copyright © 2016 by Sids Ahky Stevens.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2016903739

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-5144-7228-6

                Softcover        978-1-5144-7227-9

                eBook             978-1-5144-7226-2

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

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Rev. date: 08/27/2016

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CONTENTS

Summary

Givers

Believers

Supporters

Understanders

Accepters

Forgivers

Survivors

I dedicate this book to my husband, my mommy, my daughter, and all my supporters with my love and good intentions. Dad, I just want you to be proud of me. Thank you, Auntie—one of my nine aunts—for inspiring me to put my deepest thoughts into words. Cousin J, you showed me that my story was worth telling. Thank you for your encouragement and your compelling experience. G-ma, Junior, and my baby boy, I am hoping to see all of you in paradise. I want to share all my experiences with you. To my daughter, once again, reach for the stars. You will catch one. I achieved my goal, and you can too. I love you, Penguin.

I am a product of single-parent household, consisting of a very strict mom. My father did not want to have anything to do with me. I was a troubled kid. When I was ten years old, I was hit by a car. My mother wanted to protect me, and she allowed me to be raised later by my amazing grandmother. When I got older, I pursued my master’s degree, established my faith, found love, and had two children. I lost my son to sudden infant death syndrome. After his death, I had to work harder on my marriage, and we were blessed to have our beautiful daughter. As she had gotten older, I wanted to achieve more attainable goals, establish my faith, and serve my community. Most of all, I want to show my daughter that although I am Mommy, I can be amazing too.

Summary

A woman examines different stages in her life, including tribulations. Can she be a product of her own environment without her biological father around? The absence of a father has an impact on many of her decisions, especially when it comes to love. As she confronts life, she cannot deny what has been unfair to her. With different self-examinations and growth, the unconditional love of her grandmother, and the power of forgiveness, she is able to accept her own responsibilities and still have inner peace. By owning her truth, she has become more appreciative and thankful for the things that really do matter, her family, and her supportive friends.

When I thought about writing this book, I had to do some serious soul-searching. My heart was weighed down by drama, anxieties, and just pure disappointments. I was angry at the world because I was not at peace with myself. At some point in my life, I recognized that I had to take ownership of some of the mistakes that I made. It took time. I had to discover who I was. I am proud to have grown up, and I learned from others. I humbly accept wisdom from the elderly and those who have made a difference to me. I also accept that the elderly are not supernatural people. They are subjected to errors. Everyone is a work in progress, and we can certainly make adjustments every day. That is why I pray and ask for forgiveness. I am aware that patience is a quality that takes time to attain. I ask all of you to be patient with me as I take you through this roller coaster of life. I am also aware that I have to extend the courtesy to others. I have to learn how to be patient with others. It is challenging, but it starts with me humbly accepting full responsibility for my actions, my words, and my deeds.

I gain comfort from some famous legends that have taught me humility. Ray Charles went against the odds when he sang country music, but he enjoyed the storytelling concept. When I watched the movie Ray, Jaime Foxx showed the world that country music is a universal language. It should be told by all cultures. Everyone could tell a story. Mr. Charles has inspired me to tell my story through country music. Although it could be painful, it is worth telling.

Iyanla Vanzant shared how she overcame many hardships. She lost her daughter, and she went through some financial difficulties. She had to go on public assistance. She went through the storm, but she made it. I found her story to be so encouraging. When I was young, I had the pleasure of meeting her. She was selling her books locally, but we loved her because she was real and in touch with the people. She was very humble. I have seen her on a few occasions, and she always managed to keep a smile on her face. Her circumstances did not change her character because she is the real deal. Beloved, I am proud to see that you made it because you deserve it with all the hard work that you did throughout your community. Because of your generosity, I have learned to push through life to help others even when I had a loss. It has not always been easy, but it has been comforting to serve my community. I also have received my rewards as a result of giving back.

Steve Harvey, the code cracker (Mr. Blue Cheese), kept going on despite his mistakes. I can recall when he made his negotiations for his best-selling book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man on the air from The Steve Harvey Morning Show. This method of writing showed me that the process of creative writing is not always traditional. Everyone is unique. Mr. Harvey mentioned that what separated him from other comedians were his life experiences. Everyone is different, and our experiences can make or break us. It is really how we choose to express ourselves that can make the difference. He has shown me that he overcome it, despite his failed relationships, homelessness, and his incarceration. I heard how he only had change and cash in a bag to sustain him until he got to his next show. Yet he is a millionaire. He is marketing himself everywhere. He certainly knows how to brand himself, and I watched him from the beginning of his career. I saw his third-eye joke, and I was a fan of his sitcom, Me and the Boys. Everyone has a story that is inspirational. We just have to think and dig deeper with our thoughts.

Ms. Wendy Williams (representing the Jersey Shore and the lady that is soft in pink), although you are messy at times, you have shown me how to be risky. I have always been very conservative. I was afraid to even write and invest in this book. When you transition from a radio personality to a talk show host, I realized that it is okay to go for it. Using expressions like How you doin’? and With all due respect, have several seats has shown me how to market myself. I know that you probably had your own concerns about stepping out of your comfort zone, but you went for it. I’m ready to go for mine, and thank you for showing me how to own it.

We do not have to be famous. I also have an older cousin who has made a difference in my life and has raised the bar. I don’t think that she knew just what it meant to me to hear about her experiences and spend time with her. She received her master’s degree in education with a 4.0 grade point average while doing it online. She did it when online classes were not popular. She did it as she fulfilled her role as a mother and a full-time teacher (while still doing lesson plans), and she made new adjustments to her life. Later,