From Refugee to Doctor: A Story of Perserevance and Faith

By Dasherline Cox Johnson

After enduring bombing in the Liberian war, the death of her favorite uncle, typhoid fever, and an unhealthy dynamic with her mother, Dasherline describes how she successfully overcame these hurdles, enabling her to help others as a psychologist. She contrasts the loving and nurturing relationship with her maternal grandmother, which provided a solid foundation for healing and wholeness, with the broken bond with her mother.

After immigrating to the United States, Dasherline struggled to adapt to a new culture while studying for her doctoral degree and raising her children. As a Black African woman new to American culture, she explores the impact of George Floyd’s death and other instances of racism and microaggression as she counsels her sons on safe behavior. She credits her faith in God as the source of healing in her relationships with her mother and her husband. She hopes through this story that readers will be inspired to develop their own resilience and faith to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9798886445282

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Dedication

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Liberian Civil War

Chapter 2: My Childhood Memories and Upbringing

Chapter 3: My Relationship with My Biological Parents

Chapter 4: Typhoid Didn't Kill Me

Chapter 5: Life as a Refugee in the Ivory Coast

Chapter 6: My Uncle Victor's Death

Chapter 7: Joining My Family in the United States

Chapter 8: My Husband and My Family

Chapter 9: My Struggle to Become Educated

Chapter 10: My Internship Experience: Learning about Beauty and Body Image

Chapter 11: Reconciliation with My Husband and Sleep

Chapter 12: My Professional Career

Chapter 13: My Professional Career

Chapter 14: The George Floyd Murder and Racism I've Experienced

Chapter 15: My Faith and Peace with My Mother

Photos

Appendix

Reviews

Bibliography

About the Author

cover.jpg

From Refugee to Doctor

A Story of Perserevance and Faith

Dasherline Cox Johnson

ISBN 979-8-88644-527-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88644-539-8 (Hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88644-528-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2022 Dasherline Cox Johnson

All rights reserved

First Edition

Note that all Bible verses are from the New International Version (NIV) Bible.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the following individuals:

To my children, Josh, AJ, and Kirsten. My inspiration to write this book was born out of my love for you and my desire to help you understand me better. I hope that my experiences and life lessons will help guide you. You are my most important source of joy. I have come to understand pure love and the need to hear, see, and help you through life. I thank God that we live in a community that sustains us, and we have the blessing of a family. My goal has always been to show you love and to help you gain the skills to overcome life's pains, which are sure to come, as well as to appreciate and make the most of life's opportunities and blessings, which are also sure to come.

My life has been not only full of struggles but also full of love and accomplishments. I have learned that it is okay to be afraid though I hope I am raising you to be bold. Then, not too much in this world can keep you down. I have pushed you yet have tried to shelter you from hurt and pain and tried to explain what I wished I had known as a child and young adult. I have tried to love you the way you need to be loved and to validate you. My fondest wish for you is that you know how much I love you.

To my mama. Mama, you have taught me the importance of love, protection, validation, and faith. You have also given me the ability to love myself and give love away. I thank God for mothers like you. You have been an example of the type of mother I want to be. Thank you for modeling selfless love and care. I have always wanted to be like you. You have demonstrated a quiet strength that spoke volumes without saying a word. The presence, peace, and assurance you brought to your family are beyond words. I remember you walking while bullets were flying. Chaos ensued—people began yelling and falling to the ground for safety—but you just kept walking and praying. The fearlessness and absolute trust in God that you demonstrated quieted that group. I could see and feel the prayers, so quiet yet so powerful. We walked through an ambush, and no one died.

To my late uncle Victor, your life impacted me much more than I realized until I reflected on my upbringing. For a long time, I was stuck on getting past your death. Now, I can truly say I see and feel your energy and recall your actions, smile, and even how you walked. You are alive to me again. You always seemed to show up when something significant was happening, expressed confidence in me, and helped me discover my love for learning. You even tried to take care of me when I got pregnant. Your voice of hope propelled me to become a professional who helps others. Your inspiration has made me want to make you proud. You modeled attention, lifelong learning, and compassion. I have tried to follow in your footsteps.

Preface

The writing of this book was motivated by my desire for my children to understand me and our heritage better. Some of the insights I have gained about overcoming obstacles will be useful to my children and others struggling. My goal is to give readers a perspective that may help them learn ways to persevere and perhaps overcome the issues standing in the way of achieving their goals.

My objective in this memoir is to leave a legacy about my grandmother for my children, and I want them to know how she shaped and nurtured me so they can hopefully see the importance of pouring lots of love into their own families.

I come from an oral culture of enslaved people. We have lost a lot of our history, but our culture and accounts of what happened have great value. By being aware of our background—both the good and the questionable parts—we can climb higher, achieve our goals, and help others achieve their goals.

Despite Trump's election and George Floyd's death, I want to show my children and clients that America offers much. We can't give up or give in to pessimism. No matter how difficult it is, we are responsible for getting a solid education and helping others become educated to create more sustainable living conditions for ourselves and our planet.

As my children acquire a deeper understanding of how their lives have been shaped psychologically, politically, socially, and economically, I hope they gain the courage and insight to develop their lives positively. I want to model for my children ways to gain the information they may never encounter in US schools. I realize that I do not know as much as I need to know and must constantly strive to be informed and know how to respond to various situations.

Lastly, this book will add to the collection of books by Black African women, a collection not as large as it ought to be. By sharing my knowledge as a therapist who has grown toward my better self, I encourage readers to begin the journey toward their better selves and toward an improved world. Perhaps other immigrants will identify with my struggles and gain skills in cultural negotiation that can help them overcome challenges that I once thought were insurmountable.

Acknowledgments

My children, to whom I owe so much gratitude, thank you all for loving me unconditionally. Each of you is a gift. You have given me the opportunity to love you and be loved. You are the reason I have been able to get through the toughest times. I love you all always.

My husband, you have done much to keep our family together, which I have never properly acknowledged. Thank you for giving me the freedom to explore and write about our struggles. You have fought to preserve our marriage and family despite many ups and downs. You have been the primary caregiver, which has helped me advance in my career. I owe you much gratitude.

To my mother, even though we had a rough start, I am your only child. Our relationship is a testament to the power of forgiveness and to how people can ultimately grow from hurt and pain. I hope this book is not seen as an offense to you, but that it shows how far we have come. I hope that our story inspires others to learn and overcome similar difficulties. Thank you for your understanding.

Mardea and Eric, my sincerest thanks to you for the good deed and kindness you showed me. Thank you for modeling care and concern for your family. Anyone would be blessed to have relatives like you, and I owe you a debt.

Aunty Esther, thank you for providing information and verifying facts for the content of this book, including answering questions about events that took place while I was growing up. You also helped me complete my doctoral program when you moved in with my family for a while. You have contributed much to my earlier years. When I needed a loan, I could always count on you. I owe you much.

Aunty Marvel, my ardent hope is that God will grant you joy and peace despite the horrors of losing your young daughter, your husband, and your father in the war. I have admired your strength and know that your profound loss has revealed your character as a woman of God. Thank you for your example.

Alice Heiserman, I would like to express my gratitude for helping me take my ideas and concepts and turn them into a book. You coached me on how to make my book come alive. At times, I did not think I had it within me to keep going, but you gave me the encouragement I needed to find my voice and keep writing. This book may not have been possible without your developmental and substantive coaching as an editor.

I owe a debt of gratitude to Anita Dualeh for providing advice on storytelling and writing my introduction. She was particularly instrumental in helping me plot the story line that made my book more interesting. She has been a trusted friend and writing consultant, and I appreciate her contribution to the writing of this book.

Finally, I would like to recognize with gratitude important people in my life—my family who have supported me through everything, encouraging me during hard times, and loving me no matter what. Special thanks to Mark, Mercy, Sam, Osman, Abigail, Yorng, Evelyn, Weade, Ernest, Delano, Varney, Patricia, Melita, Odell, Nyaepu, and sis. Vick. To my aunties/uncles Lydian, Sara, Rachel, Catherine, Jennifer, Hensley, Franklin, Nancy, Barbara, B.Y Sandimanie, and my many younger cousins for your love, support, and encouragement. I am deeply thankful to Priscilla, Shadlyn, Rev. Vansiea, and Dr. Rubright for taking time to read and give me reviews. To God be the Glory!

Book Editor:

Alice Heiserman

President, Write Books Right

writebooksright.com

[e-mail]

Introduction

Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering, you will find grace in many facets and colors.

—William P. Young

Dash and I became acquainted shortly after she began the doctoral program at Saint Mary's University of Minnesota. She and my husband were part of the first cohort in the doctor of psychology program. I remember thinking how brave she was to be starting an academic marathon while her infant daughter was a month old and her younger son was still a preschooler. (At the time, I was a stay-at-home mom who felt somewhat overwhelmed with the care of a three-year-old and an infant, and I couldn't even imagine taking graduate classes on top of that.) Dash's resolve and strength of character, combined with the support of her family, got her through the doctoral program right on schedule. She was one of only four students in the first graduating class. But after reading her story, you will not be surprised by this accomplishment, as she has had many experiences in her past that have shaped her into an overcomer.

Dash's story in this book is ultimately an account of hope, a hope that sustained her through dark days of uncertainty, pain, fear, and grief, a hope that anchors her soul, firm and secure. She has grown closer to the Ultimate Source of grace through it all. And along the way, she has discovered the many facets and hues of grace, enabling her to extend grace to others. As she has processed and let go of the past, she has found freedom through forgiveness and has gained insight into what is truly important in life. May her story inspire us to do the same.

Anita Dualeh

Chapter 1

The Liberian Civil War

I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head pointed toward the sun, one's feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.

—Long Walk to Freedom:

The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela

On a quiet evening in 1990 in Monrovia, Liberia, I heard what sounded like fireworks. Soon after, loud yelling and confusion ensued. Male voices became clearer. Rebel soldiers commanded us, Come out with your hands up, single file.

Our whole family came out of our house cautiously and slowly, with our hands raised. We struggled to form a line, unsure what formation they wanted. Then, a male soldier demanded: Are there any government soldiers here? And, Do you have any military or paramilitary connections or training? Before we could respond, he announced, We are Ghangay soldiers. Ghangay was what they affectionately called rebel leader Charles Taylor. The soldier continued, We have taken over this area. If any of you have information and do not share it, you are against us—you are an enemy to Ghangay and us.

The men wore camouflage and carried large guns. The commander sported a gun across his chest, a knife on his side, and a few other weapons dangling from him. The other soldier wore a pistol on one side and carried a knife. His deep, menacing voice sucked out my hope as he echoed the commander. My knees knocked against each other; I began to pray that this was only a dream from which I would soon wake up. A soldier reiterated that everyone had a duty to inform him of any threat against the rebel soldiers.

Another soldier warned, If anyone hides such information, we will kill you. I don't recall how long we stood there, but it seemed like an eternity. As more soldiers joined them, we felt trapped. I was nineteen years old, trying to make sense of what was going on, watching the older adults for cues on how to behave in this situation. We were ordered back inside and warned not to cause any problems. We returned to the house, huddled tightly, and listened to one another breathing. We were too scared to talk, thinking they might hear us and return to get us.

We stayed home for days, but eventually, we had to venture out to get food and risk being beaten, if not raped or killed. We mainly resorted to bartering for food with our neighbors and those selling in the marketplaces. Some people emerged from their homes to sell food in the markets, and some were relatives and spouses of soldiers who had permission to sell. We exchanged personal material items, such as jewelry or clothing, for food and swapped one type of food for another. We also relied on the kindness of others who had enough to share.

Then we saw soldiers moving into homes abandoned by our neighbors and claiming them as their own. We became terrified, realizing how vulnerable we were to those who thought they could just take possession of whatever they wanted. We began planning to leave, though we worried about