The Power of Choice, Even in My Shoes

By Deanna Moore

The Power of Choice, Even In My Shoes is an autobiographical self-help book about healing and recovery from feelings of isolation, child abuse, heartbreak and other things. The author shares her story in efforts to inspire readers. Moore shows through experience that the number one key to success is not one's circumstances, but where one envisions herself and the choices she makes to get there.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Deanna Moore
• Release date: Mar 3, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310552977

Deanna Moore

Deanna Moore is a life coach, motivational speaker, and president of the I Think I Am Foundation which is a non profit organization which helps foster care and other at risk youth and families to improve their self-image, self-worth, and self-actualization.

Book preview

The Power of Choice, Even in My Shoes

Deanna Moore

Copyright 2014 Deanna Moore

Smashwords Edition

Printed in USA by Greater Is He Publishing

Editors: Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom,

Patricia C. Herchenroether, Tony Bradford

Interior Designer: Tony Bradford

Exterior Designer: Robert King

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission from the author.

Greater Is He Publishing

9824 E. Washington St.

Chagrin Falls, Ohio 44023

Phone: [phone]

www.GreaterIsHePublishing.com

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1: Help Me, I’m Hurting

Chapter 2: The Turning Point

Chapter 3: A Closer Look at My Issues

Chapter 4: Recognizing and Deciding to Release Your Issues

Chapter 5: Make a Decision to Love

Chapter 6: Burying Dead Issues

Chapter 7: You are Fully Equipped

Chapter 8: Redirecting Your Focus

Chapter 9: Develop a Healthy Appetite

Chapter 10: Change Your Life

Chapter 11: Live the Abundant Life

Chapter 12: As a Man Thinks…

About the Author

Contact Deanna Moore

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

In memory of my deceased adoptive mother, Fannie May Jones, who was the key that unlocked and opened the door to the person I was destined to become. She always believed in me even when I doubted myself. Her morals and values live on through me, and I will continue to love my children as she loved me.

In memory of my biological father, James McIlveen, and in honor of my biological mother, Harriet Mabon; thanks for giving me life, those powerful genes, and for allowing me to experience your love and support.

I have spent a lot of time and energy in the preparation and completion of this book and would like to thank several people for encouraging me to: Write it down, girl. I am forever grateful to Aunt Shirley Washington, Aunt Adele Johnson, and to my godmother, Gilda Goings, who never stopped believing in me as they took time to impart wisdom and knowledge into that young, vibrant, always-on-the-go teenager. Thank you for encouraging me to become the woman and mother God purposed and planned for my life.

To my close friends and supporters: Margie Wilkins, Gwendolyn Syers, Martha Tuccillo, Kim Shirobbi, Tiffany Thomas, Colette Martinez, Gevonka Denson, Renee Sherrod, J’Rene Sconiers, Kim Mallory, Karen Williams, Christina Lee, Andrea McIntosh, Xaviour Tucker, and Martha McAfee, you helped me to become the woman I am today and for that I am thankful. You have been a sounding board for many years as I began to evolve and become more involved in impacting the world. You are all difference-makers in my life!

To my PFPMA sisters: Felicia Young, Chris Johnson, Connie Davis, and to the founding mothers, thanks for forming such an awesome organization of women who have the mind and heart to share their knowledge and experience to support other mothers who have sons in the NFL and to help them deal with their newly-found notoriety and financial increase, and for giving me the opportunity to give back to our communities.

Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom (my editor), you are amazing! Thank you so much for walking with me and finishing this project in spite of your own challenges.

Finally, to Joseph Moore, thank you for giving me four unique and talented sons: Kyle, Kristofer, Kevin, and Kelvin. Thanks, guys, for loving me and for teaching me how to be a wiser mom. You all have such different personalities and needs that helped me understand how important it is to know there is not just ONE SUREFIRE WAY to rear a child. In order to be a successful parent, I learned to be flexible and constantly educated myself on ways to help build the gaps between parents and children. I am so grateful to call you MY SONS, and I love you! To Kaiden and Jaiden Moore, my grandsons, G-mommy loves you so much. You are my legacy, and I will live on through you!

PREFACE

A baby girl was born into this world with no name, no identity. Why would someone give me up for adoption? I’m not a bad person. Was I not good enough for them to keep me? Why me? Why did the kids in the neighborhood taunt me? I can still hear their words echoing in my ears. You’re a nobody! Na-na, you don’t even know who your ‘real’ mama is!

If Mama and Daddy aren’t my real parents, then who are they? At the tender age of five, I began the quest to find the answers. Those words, spoken by another young child, cut deep and scarred me. Was I really no one special because my biological mother placed me for adoption? For years I held those words close to my heart.

I lived what I thought was a normal life. My adoptive mother loved me and made sure she provided me with everything her budget allowed. From the tender age of three until my preteen years, another family member showed me how much he loved me by molesting me on a regular basis. When I was ten, my parents separated, and then seven years later they finally divorced. When I became a legal adult at eighteen, I longed to find my biological family. I wanted to stop the taunts from certain male members. You know we may be related, but we’re not blood relatives.

All I wanted was to fit in, to be like everybody else, and most of all to be accepted by my family and friends for the type of person I grew up to be, not for my lineage. Being bullied by girls from the church and the neighborhood was more than I wanted to handle. Please God, I prayed many times, help me to find my real family.

How would I ever overcome my feelings of low self-esteem, abandonment, and rejection, especially when everyone around me seemed to delight in reminding me that I wasn’t a true member of the family? Could I learn to overcome taunts like, Blood is thicker than water?

Thoughts about my biological family bombarded me. How would I ever find them? Are they looking for me? Do they regret giving me up? What circumstances compelled them to place me for adoption? Who do I look like? Would they be proud of me? Will I ever find them? I don’t want to leave this earth not knowing. I NEED to find them.

In spite of my challenges and obstacles, I remained true to my goals and dreams. I had four sons, including a set of twins. While still in college, trying to pursue my Bachelors of Science degree in Speech-Language Pathology, my adoptive mother had a massive stroke, and I had to become her primary caregiver. Trying to complete my degree was a huge undertaking, but because I never lost sight of my goals, I was able to complete not only my Bachelor’s degree, but my Master’s as well. I took care of my mother, Fannie Jones, for eighteen years until her death in 2008.

My story reveals the struggle of a determined woman who, despite her beginnings, is able to rise above her circumstances, realizing that where she is at that time is not her permanent placement in life. This book was written to inspire and encourage anyone who is going through challenges to remain focused on your goals and to never lose sight no matter what. My desire is to help you understand you have the power of choice, and if you make the right choices more often than not, you will accomplish your life’s dreams and aspirations.

INTRODUCTION

What happens when the person you vowed to love forever doesn’t love you anymore? How do you get past the pain when your partner states, I love you, but I don’t want to be tied down anymore? How is it possible to carry on if your soul mate up and dies without warning, leaving you in a dust of grief, making it hard to comprehend how to carry on alone?

Maybe you’re hurting because you were raped or molested by a loved one or abandoned by someone who said they would never leave you. Perhaps you’re in pain because a close friend betrayed you, you lost your high-paying job, or you found out your spouse is leaving you for another person. Maybe you’re still dealing with an abusive spouse or have dealt with abusive parents.

Possibly your child is strung out on drugs, living in the streets, and subjected to all kinds of danger. Maybe your children and you are constantly bickering with each other, and the dissention is becoming too much to bear. Maybe that special someone in your life doesn’t call you anymore, or you realize you are no longer the first person he calls, texts, or emails in the morning. You find yourself begging the individual to stay–promising to do whatever it takes to make things better. You feel like you can’t breathe without them.

Have you been there? Are you there now? Are you at the place where your heart aches so much that you feel uncertain about tomorrow? Something has been severed, broken, destroyed. You cry all night and often during the day too. You feel as if someone has cut you open and ripped your heart right out of your chest without warning. Every day feels longer than twenty-four hours. Quiet moments are filled with thoughts of why you’re hurting. You’re distracted. You have