Secrets of a Woman's Broken World

By Nduduzo Gumede

This book was inspired by women who define the word strength. The stories in this book aim to teach and encourage women to break the silence of rape, emotional abuse, domestic violence, single parenting and failed marriages. This book stands to show that they don’t have to be alone or bear misery any longer, it aims to inspire women to regain strength, build confidence, and to let them know that they are stronger than they thought, to let them know it’s time they broke away from what has held them back, and realize that they are the heart of nations and the vision behind every successful child.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nduduzo Gumede
• Release date: Jul 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9780620662338

Nduduzo Gumede

NDUDUZO GUMEDE, was born in South Africa. He is the Co-Founder of St. Carter and the Author of "SECRETS OF A WOMAN`S BROKEN WORLD" , he is a businessman that strives to help eradicate poverty as he works day and night trying to change the world. his Primary plan with the volume 1 book he has published through St. Carter a company he co-owns is to unite against Women and Children Abuse and to resurrect reading nations and minimize the drug, alcohol and sex abuse activities youth nowadays indulge in.the book is dedicated to women who have been survivors of rape, emotional & physical abuse, single parenting and failed marriages.

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SECRETS OF A WOMAN`S BROKEN WORLD

A Diary of Untold Stories

Nduduzo Gumede

Copyright 2015 Nduduzo Gumede

Smashwords edition

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PREFACE

I began writing this book in 2012, and for the whole of 2012 and 2014 up to 2015 I researched, finding women that were willing to open up the secrets that broke them and establishing how they managed to keep it together to the point they were. I was inspired, and in the process learned how strong women are. I was not a person who just acquired dark information about people’s homesteads, but I also became a friend, a father, a teacher and a pillar of strength to these women because they needed someone who understood their situation. Fortunately I had been raised in a way that I understood how to be of great comfort to them. So I took time out and really dedicated myself to this book which I personally dedicate to all the women in the world. I am proud of how they have handled themselves and the way they have been able to hide their pain in the eyes of their loved ones; I salute the world of women. In my country there is a saying wathinta-umfazi-wathinta-imbokodo (you strike a woman you strike a rock) and I have extended it to you strike a woman you strike a society as I have zero tolerance towards the abuse of women and children. My research was not an easy task because at times some would shed a tear and I would end up joining in, but I was able to admire the fact that after everything, these women are still here and they still have strength, faith and pride and they still walk tall. Some of what these women have gone through I guarantee no man would be able to bear. We have seen a number of times that when the going gets tough some men resort to suicide but not women and that in itself is the definition of the word strength.

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS

A special thank you to all the women that inspired me to create this book, especially the women who agreed to help me with research and interviews, contributing some of their personal stories and experiences. I would also like to thank the St Anthony’s Children`s Home for giving me an opportunity to work with them and the children and to see the hard work and challenges they face on a daily basis.

To my parents, my brother Lethu, the love of my life and my daughter I am forever grateful for the support, especially Poomy who pushed me even harder when I thought of giving up after struggling to find a publisher. My woman kept on, telling me , You can do it; a lot of women depend on you to tell their stories and you will touch, heal and break the silence in many families and you also give strength to many - hang in there and in time you will find a great publisher who will tell your story to millions around the world. Another woman who played a major role in the success of this book and in my life generally is Mrs Fathima Buckus my former boss, who believed in everything I did and believed that I can reach my goals and achieve my dreams beyond expectation. She mentored me in many ways, always pushing me to exceed my best, always saying I can do better and I am grateful. Although I have mentioned my parents I’d like to single out my mother and say thank you for the support, the suggestions, the daily checking of the book`s progress, the encouragement and also making sure that I studied hard for my degrees. I loved you yesterday, I love now and I will love you tomorrow: mum you are simply the best and I would never trade you for any other mother. Thank you for your upbringing and teachings, not just respecting others in general but teaching me to respect women the most and teaching me to always rely on God. He will never disappoint and never let us down for he is a living God and never goes to sleep. Last but not least to the all mighty God whom gave me the brain and courage to identify burning issues generally in life that many have died and lived in suffrage, pain, hardships single parenting and general challenges such as domestic abuse, the very same Almighty who blessed me with a daughter whom as a man I need to protect along with other children in general. Protect not just as a man, but as a father, and in this I want the whole world to know that men who love, respect, care and support women still exist and this is my token to them to say you are not alone. To my church ,the Methodist Church. I am grateful to for showing me the path to God`s kingdom and leadership. I am blessed to be one amongst many men that says let us stand together and fight abuse against women and children.

INTRODUCTION

What is it that defines a woman`s character? Is it pain, is it the hardships, or is it their unique personalities? Is it the fact that no matter how bad a situation can be, women keep their faith and keep on walking? Women are by far the best creatures God ever created; generally no creature can give love like a woman does, as a mother, sister, lover, wife and friend. Don’t get me wrong, men are great too, there are fathers and men I respect who are real men amongst men, but I was inspired to write this book because I know women and I know their struggles. Yes, I’m a man and I’ve written a book about women. Nowadays women and children are survivors, and I use this term is because I dislike calling people victims, it’s a negative label. They survive from what? They survive rape, murder because of their sex, discrimination and disabilities.

I wrote this book mainly because I want to break the silence. Each chapter speaks of a different woman, women I know personally and have witnessed going through shockingly tough situations, but showing strength and being survivors of domestic violence, rape trauma, poverty, and losing the love of their lives due to infidelity. Some of them have overcome challenges, some are single parents and they are not coping but are able to wake up each morning put a smile on their faces, walk tall and say in time it will get better. Some have been cheated on and in the process were infected with HIV and as if that was not enough they got divorced. Some of them married their dream guys only to find out what monsters they had married a couple of years later. Some had tough childhoods and managed to make something of themselves. Some have managed to raise their children with no support. Each chapter you read will tell you a real story of some woman out there.

This book is to help women, to learn that they do not need to die in silence, that there is someone who is willing to listen to them, to comfort them, to love them, to see them as beautiful as they are, someone who appreciates their intelligence and says that life is for you. Some women suffer and this book speaks for them and its purpose is to unite them and men and to say I care and I’ll always be there for you I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.

CHAPTER ONE

THIS IS NOT THE LIFE I IMAGINED

I was born in a small town called Vryheid in Northern KwaZulu-Natal. My father died when I was three years old but I heard that his love was overwhelming, that he was a man that loved his family, and that he always wanted the best for us. He was a mine worker and one that worked hard for his family but unfortunately the claws of death snatched him away from us; he left five children behind between the ages of ten and nine months.

My father’s mother and brother tried hard to keep my mother, as it is a tradition that the wife must be an asset of the family. According to my mother they did not want to keep her because my uncle loved her, but only for the assets that my father had left for her. My uncle wanted to possess them because he was having difficulties maintaining his own family of five, his wife, and four children. My mother managed to escape that situation and got herself a job as a domestic worker at a white man’s house nearby. My mother’s parents took us children back to their home, a place where we grew up.

My mother was 27 years old at that time, and while working as a domestic worker she met our step- father. Because she was still young she re-married and went to live in the Transkei in the Eastern Cape while we stayed on with my mother’s family. We missed her dearly; bear in mind we came from a family of seven with a father that adored us and would have done anything for his family, to now being in a family of 21.

There were 12 children and when it came to food all 12 would share a bowl that the food was dished up in and we shared whether we were girls or boys. My siblings and I were not used to that lifestyle, in my father’s house after his death the grownups would eat first and whatever would be left would be given to the children, you can imagine the transition we were in since our father`s passing. We thanked God we managed to pull through, even though it was difficult.

My paternal grandfather is someone I never knew, but from what I heard he abandoned his family for another woman in Johannesburg.

My grandmother raised her children by selling what we called inkwishi (an illegal traditional beer) which was illegal to sell. Policemen used to come and raid the place whenever they would find people drunk and find inkwishi and the person responsible would be arrested. While my mother was still in mourning for my father, in Zulu we say ``esazilile’’ (to be in mourning) she was forced to make this traditional beer to help raise money to raise us.

I was scared when policemen arrested people who ran away. You couldn’t keep the beer inside your premises in case they were raided. Whenever the amount my mother had kept for us was close to getting finished or finished she would go back and fetch more beer and we also would run away from the policemen. Even though I was still young I still remember how I got a scar on my face. I was running because policemen had come to raid our home. It was dark, just after 7pm, and I had forgotten that the side I was running towards had a fence, so I ran for dear life and it cut me on my face. When I think of all these experiences and looking at my scar I said the Lord is good and it was his way and not ours and his thoughts are higher.

On my mother’s side of the family my grandfather was a coal miner and my grandmother was a domestic worker. As a coal mine worker he had an allowance of food that was called a ration. I have two brothers, the first born was ten years old the time he herded my