My Queen: the Beauty in You: Embracing Her Beauty and Understanding Her Treasures

By Chienyem U. Uchime Opara

From Eve to Sarah to Estherand from mothers to wives to sistersGod has given women their own unique roles to play. But how do we learn to see the beauty in ourselves the way God does, and what does it mean to honor the women we love? My Queen: The Beauty in You uses the stories of women in the Bible to illuminate the lives of todays women in fresh new ways. It also shows us that those who cultivate a culture of valuing women help create peace in their homes, their communities, and the world as a whole.

My Queen speaks to every woman, young or old, married or single, widowed or divorced. Even those who have been abused or abandoned will learn that God often uses the worst circumstances to bring out a womans best qualities, empowering her to define herself rather than letting events define her. No matter where you are in your life, your uniqueness as a woman deserves to be celebrated!

But My Queen is not just for women. Men will gain insight into the female psyche and learn what listening to and incorporating womens wisdom can contribute to their own lives. Author Chienyem U. Uchime Opara even uses intriguing plant metaphors to help womenand those who love themunderstand and nurture themselves. Poems, along with space to add your own photos and notes, can further aid you on your journey. Discover the woman God intended you to be; learn how to honor the women you love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 19, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512703177

Chienyem U. Uchime Opara

Chienyem U. Uchime Opara earned a bachelor’s degree in biology with a minor in psychology. She is a teacher; she has one daughter and enjoys writing songs and poems, and singing. This is her first book.

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Copyright © 2017 Chienyem U. Uchime Opara.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible. Scripture quotations marked RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright 1946, 1952, 1971 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA. Used by permission.

The summary of the story of Cinderella in this book is based on the version written by Charles Perrault in 1697.

WestBow Press

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-0316-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0318-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-0317-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015921197

WestBow Press rev. date: 01/19/2017

Contents

Preface

Introduction

PART ONE

TO MEN AND WOMEN

Chapter 1: The Creation of a Woman

Genesis

Time Factor

The Serpent

The Virgin Birth of Christ

The Restoration of Humankind

Chapter 2: The Nature of a Woman

General Qualities of Women

Representations of a Woman

How God Worked With Some Women

Chapter 3: Womanhood

The Flower

The Threefold Symbol

Why Plants?

The Summarization of the Threefold Symbol

Chapter 4: Her Splendor

Chapter 5: Grasping Her Beauty

The Key

Blissfully Ever After

New You

PART TWO

TO WOMEN

Chapter 6: Your Throne

You’re a Queen

Your Duties

The Young Queens

Chapter 7: The Troubled

The Abused and the Rejected

Widows

The Cinderella in a Woman

Women Without Source, But…

The Prayer of a Woman

Chapter 8: Maintain Your Beauty

Maintaining Your Physical Beauty

Your Authority

How You Lay Down Your Authority

How to Refill and Keep Radiating

How to Develop Psychological Immunity

Hold Your Authority

Your Threefold Symbol

PART THREE

TO FAMILIES

Chapter 9: Appreciate Her

Gratitude

Conclusion

Endnotes

Bibliography

Glimpse

This book is

dedicated to my daughter, Lily-Darling, for her understanding and encouragement. Let glory and honor be to God who chose me and enrolled me in his school where I learn through my observations, questions, relationships, and experiences. I wish grace in your lives, as you and I are determined to show kindness.

Preface

A man walking on a rocky path came across a shiny metal and stopped. He picked up the metal, looked at it, and began tossing it between his hands. When he got tired of playing with the metal, he dropped it on the path and continued on his journey.

Another man walking down the same path came across the same shiny metal. The luster of the metal caught his eye and he stopped. He picked up the metal and started to examine it. He decided to take the shiny metal home to research it. On discovery that the metal was gold, he went back to the same path and found more gold. He took the gold home and kept the pieces clean and secure. When hardship struck, the gold he saved helped him to survive.

Information makes a difference. Information increases awareness. It equips the mind and helps someone to make better choices. An informed person is knowledgeable and empowered. Understanding and accepting the worth of what you possess determines how you handle it and the level of protection you give to it. The way you see yourself and others affects how you value yourself and others.

The Scripture says, My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge (Hos. 4:6 KJV). Today’s societies are filled with tons of abused and sexually violated girls and women, gender discrimination, broken families, and hurting women. The manner in which women are regarded in many societies and how women see themselves and present themselves could be linked to how people view the female gender, which depends on how knowledgeable people are about feminine qualities.

Through my observations and questions, I have found that people who mistreat girls or women do not have either the true knowledge or enough knowledge of the worth of the female gender. Some individuals see women as property; some see them as entertainment; and some see them as objects for services and satisfaction. Sadly, some women do not delight in their feminine identity and regret their natural identity as women. And some women do not uphold themselves in honor but disrespect themselves and present themselves as items for trade. Lack of self-acceptance leads to a lack of self-love and low self-esteem.

Also, I have found that some people do understand the worth of women but scorn the female gender because they are struggling to acknowledge women’s outstanding qualities and value. Often, such struggles cause individuals to develop contempt for the female gender and eventually be abusive to women.

A man once asked a woman, Why should you be recognized? Are you a queen? Obviously, many men do not understand or have not accepted that their wives, daughters, and other girls and women are natural queens. And many women do not know or believe that they are queens who should honor themselves and who deserve to be esteemed.

It is common to hear people address their daughters or young girls as princesses and chant the phrase women first. I suppose the questions would be these: Does the word princess truly make sense to people, or are they just using it as a pet name? Does the world truly understand the meaning and the position of a woman? Is the phrase women first genuine, or is it just a fancy coat of deception? Should the female gender continue to be exploited due to the canker of ignorance and the immoral act of hypocrisy?

My Queen: The Beauty in You shines light on who a woman is. It uses biblical events and stories, nature, poetry, and short stories to explain the origin, qualities, and importance of women. The activities in the book are designed to make womanhood more tangible and less abstract to people, especially women. My desire for every man who reads this book is to truly understand the beauty in a woman, develop a better perception of women, and become determined to relate to his wife, daughters, and other girls and women meaningfully and with regard. My desire for every woman who reads this book is to discover herself, her worth, and her identity as a natural queen called for a purpose, and to master how to uphold her beauty.

It is worthwhile to take a moment to appreciate the people who have an impact on your life. That is, the people who have influenced you or have been or are currently there for you. With this in mind, this book ends with gratitude to female children and adults who have touched or do touch many lives in positive ways and, above all, gratitude to God, who fashions families.

Gratitude:

To a daughter who is loyal

To a sister who is true

To a wife who is loving

To a mother who nurtures

To a niece who is lovely

To an aunt who is kind

To a grandma who cares

To God for families

Introduction

B efore you read further, I would like you to stop and think. Take a moment and reflect on how you value women or how you value yourself as a woman. If you are a woman, on the next page, attach your favorite picture of yourself and write sincerely about how you regard yourself. If you are a man, attach your favorite picture of your wife, daughter, sister, niece, mother, aunt, or grandmother and express how you view her as a woman. You may choose to do either of the above, but I encourage both picture attachment and written expression.

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What are your thoughts about yourself? What are your thoughts about your female relative? Despite your thoughts, acknowledge that every living body needs to be governed by the person who possesses it to maintain its position, contents, orderliness, and existence. We obtain the ultimate purpose of our creator when we understand the beauty in us and in others and master how to manage our lives and talents. Imagine how beautiful it would be if every person understood the qualities of a woman and every woman was appreciated as a female. To be able to value yourself and others, it is necessary that you discover your identity, worth, and purpose. Life becomes fulfilling when a person understands his or her foundation, abilities, and purpose and determines to see the beauty in others.

It is necessary for men to understand that women are generous and supportive when they are happy and feel safe. It is important that each man takes the time to understand and appreciate women, especially the wife God has given him. A man’s wife is often his foundation for success. A man can achieve most of his plans with his wife beside him. This is because, when in danger, an assured and happy woman becomes a fierce lioness who jealously protects her territory against predators. A married man who wants to be successful should endeavor to be kind and at peace with his wife. He should, by both words and actions, strive to reassure her of the security in their relationship and his love for her because he who finds a wife [whom he loves and cherishes] . . . obtains favour from the Lord [her creator] (Prov. 18:22 RSV).

It is also essential for each woman to discover the beauty in herself and humbly uphold her worth. If both sexes come to acknowledge the natural qualities and responsibilities of women, it will help alleviate several psychological struggles and conflicts, such as contempt, self-hate, an inferiority complex, low self-esteem, and power struggles, which usually lead to abuse and violation of the self or others.

Every woman is a queen to herself and the people around her. Being a queen is a position and a duty God bestows on every female when she is conceived. Every woman deserves to be admired, cherished, and honored, regardless of her age, status, or condition. A woman is the only who can dethrone herself. Therefore, though challenges are part of life, it is very important that a woman masters how to flourish and how to continue to blossom despite the scorching heat of the sun or the killing cold of frost.

God has called every woman to be submissive. However, do not be timid; be self-assured and respectful. Though you are not a queen nominated by the people’s vote, but a naturally positioned queen, remember that men highly desire recognition and respect. Most of the time, when a man feels recognized and respected by his wife, he tends to show love in a tangible manner. Genuine love from a respectful wife often satiates the desires and infatuations of her husband, especially if he is a godly man. The sense of being gratified helps her husband combat greed and the urge to covet. It is important that each person carries out his or her duties without arrogance but with true love for others. After all, the stability of the human race depends equally on both men and women.

Furthermore, widows and women who have been abused or rejected should understand the power of beauty and regeneration they possess. Often, negative events, if used constructively, bring out the best in people. Though you are afflicted, you will never be moved, for your future does not depend on flesh that dies or on daily events that pass away. Rather, your future depends on your creator’s testimony about you and how you handle his declarations concerning your life. Believe the report of the Lord and do not fear. You do not need to be perfect to occupy your post as a queen. In the Scripture, when women who experienced ugly events realized the natural beauty and authority conferred on them by God, they turned out to be priceless vessels in the hands of the Lord.

Therefore, do not let events define who you are; let who you are define your events. In other words, live beyond your circumstances