Coming Home

By Horace Armour

Coming Home is about a seventy-nine-year-old man who has been caught up in the web of love. He is fighting to free himself, yet he has come too far to turn back. The ring that she wears, his need to do a serious self-examination of himself.

Was he emotionally prepared to come home? One question ate at his soul. Was he still in love with that other woman? The one from the grave, whom he has asked to set him free? Did she do it? Or is she still holding on to him from the grave? Keeping him from coming home?

These are the words that so many lost people have spoken over and over. Coming homethese words sound so good to hear one speak of, only to remember the traps, the games that were played.

Oh! My faith is what has kept me strong, knowing that in the end that the joy, the happiness, and that long wait will come to an end because I will be coming home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 19, 2015
• ISBN: 9781504924245

Horace Armour

This is Armour’s second novel about his life and experiences. In Armour’s first novel, How Strong Is Your Love, he writes about the brutal truth and challenging the unwritten rules on love and society’s views and the inner struggle of loving two women. Now in Coming Home, Armour has to overcome the flood of emotions that all but drowned him—coming out of the dark woods of love to be with the one that he cannot forget and stop that rain of pain. Armour is a cancer survivor, a Vietnam veteran with over twenty-one years of military service, originally from Detroit, Michigan. He now lives in Fairfield, California, with his Amazon parrot, Topper.

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© 2015 Horace Armour. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 12/09/2015

ISBN: 978-1-5049-2170-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5049-2424-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Preface

1. COMING HOME

2. MARRIAGE

3. LADY

4. VALENTINE'S DAY

5. DRAW THE LINE

6. I FORGOT

7. MEMORIAL DAY

8. THE THOUGHT

9. THE ARENA

10. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

11. HOSPITAL AND REHABILITATION CENTER

12. NOTES

13. AT HOME NOW

14. FOR YOU

15. WOW

About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I never thought or gave it a second thought that I would sit down and write a second book. Yet here I am giving it a second shot in writing COMING HOME. Like everything in life, there comes a time when we find ourselves needing some help, someone to walk with us.

Holding our hands and keep us on the right path.

You see, I had such a person to help me and guide me through the darkness of writing my first book and also her help in COMING HOME. Jennifer was taken away from me on her wedding day by a drive -- by shooting, a day that should have been full of JOY and HAPPINESS. I shall miss her, but I shall never stop LOVING her because she was that sunshine in my life.

Bless you my DARLING.

PREFACE

In my last book, (How Strong is Your Love) I made a statement Hope that someone hears my voice speaking from the pages of the book. Yes" someone did hear my voice speaking out loud. I can't speak of who she is, because I don't have the right to speak of her name. Yet she was there, a stranger who did not judge me, because I put away my male ego and expressed my deepest feelings.

My new friend! Yes a friend. Her words came from her heart. I heard those words, I felt them even though there was some confusion on her part and anger in her voice. Yes, this lady still spoke in an unselfish manner, which told me so much about her. You see that was someone who was reaching out to me. Yet she did hear my words, but most of all she felt my pain. I have learned one thing about growing older; it can be a Wonderful thing. We are wiser and more experienced. We can savor the joys and simple pleasures of Life and things, but most of all FRIENDSHIP is dear to the heart.

Thank you my FRIEND

CHAPTER 1

As I lay here thinking about her, and knowing just what must be done. I wanted to be tender with her. It seemed right, but the flood of emotions all but drowned me. I needed her. I knew and understood that this feeling could not be controlled.

I am sure that some of you might be thinking that this is one of those mid-night stories, but damn this is what I'm feeling and waited for, just to come out of those Dark Woods just to be COMING HOME.

For those of you that might have read my last book How Strong is Your Love you might be saying I understand you brother man, but you should pray to be forgiven for some of the things that you have done, because the devil made you do it. Sure! I should pray for some of the things that I have done, but in reality the devil didn't have a damn thing to do with it. It was all me. I was the man in the web of love. I was fighting to FREE myself from the Rain and Pain. Yet at the very same time, life could be a bitch.

Sitting here deep in thought wondering how I should start this book out, or what I should say. So here it goes. First of all I didn't think that I would ever write a second book, because the first on How Strong is Your Love, was me. My life on the highway of love, for all to see, as they drove that very same road that I had driven down.

I also stated that I learn, I grow and I feel strong and the love for my mate grows and grows because Real Love is an amazing gift. I need to know this new woman that's coming into my life.

I need to sit down and talk with her (I said talk with her, and not talk at her). If I should take the wrong approach, and then I am shit-out-of-luck. Thinking about some of the things that some of us have heard; the grass is greener on the other side of the street. Yes! I wanted to cross over to that other side of the street, but before I started across the street and got my sorry ass run over by a bus, I had to ask myself some questions...

1. How much water did it take to keep that grass green?

2. Could I afford that water bill?

I know that this might sound crazy as hell, but a lot of us have ran across that street to dwell in that grass without thinking, but in the end that grass wasn't as green as we thought. We only found a field full of crab grass.

I will not lie to you; this road has not been an easy one for me. All kinds of things had been running through my head; let me be-for-real it wasn't all worries that was running through my head. Some of it was plain old bull-shit. Sometimes love will make one do some crazy ass shit. I'm sure that some of you are saying okay pops lets pull your head out of your ass and tell us how it worked out the second time around? (Being married)

You did marry that other woman? Didn't you? Or are you still running around with your fingers dipped in that jar of jelly, and still singing that old song? You know how it goes.

It went something like this "did you ever wake-up, just before the break of day and felt that mattress where that good thing used to lay, and then you put all you crying like you never done before, and then you begin to stroke and stroke like you never did before, and then your feet hit the floor, you find yourself running to that bathroom door. Before I go down this road, I need to back-up some, because there were so many things blocking that road to get back to that woman who I was in love with for over so many years.

One night I was listening to Aretha Franklin's gospel song Amazing Grace. The next thing I knew, tears were coming from my eyes. You see I had been going through some hella dark days and nights.

I had just lost my wife of forty-seven years, and dealing with that pain and an empty life, I felt something. I had to get up and go to church. I didn't know what it was but I knew that something as pulling me that way. I'm sure that there are a lot of us who have had a feeling to do something without thinking about it. I got up the next morning and went to church. The choir was good and when it got to the part where you must pray, you stand there thinking about what to say. Then a light comes on in your head. You can't say those words, because you don't know how to pray. If you said those words would you mean them or are you just going through the motions? Now you tell me, what was I doing? I'm sure as I sit here that some of you have gone through what I am going through concerning the church or for your very own reasons and in the end you too have asked yourself that big question...

What in the world am I doing here in this place?

Let's take a side road from here, but I shall return back to the church later, because something did happen to me concerning the church.

I have been asking myself that question which made me think about my past. That part of my life that I don't want to repeat again because it was a hell of a trip. All the pain and the games that some people played in trying to keep my ass from COMING HOME.

Before going on I would like to tell a story. (Are you with me?) You see I have always heard that old tale about the Lion being the King of the beast, and the King of the jungle. Man, what I failed to understand at the time was that you might become pray to the Lioness and she will eat your ass up if you forgot the rules of the jungle. You see that's what all most happened to me. (Are you still with me?)

You see the past wasn't all that bad, but some of the people that I hung with were enough to piss off a dead man! Let me give you a run down on some of the folks. You might be saying these very words, which I am thinking. What kind of women did you hang with? (Are you with me as I set the table?) Check this out and you become the judge.

Mary: I woke up because I thought I was in love with her, but it wasn't to be, she was into drugs and the bitch was crazy

Anna: Wanted love and I could not give it to her, because I wasn't feeling anything for her.

Tess: The player, got what she could get and then catches the first Grey Hound out of town Sandra: Need a bath (with just more than lie-soap)

Carol: The mother of them all, she told me that I had to give up my dog for her. Now she was out of her rabbit-ass mind. I knew that her sorry ass had to go. Demand that I should make a choice, my dog or her? My dog and I are still together, and her sorry-ass is gone from my life.

I guess the only good thing that came out of this while I was walking in those dark woods was Jennifer, who became my daughter. The sun-shine of my life, the joy and warmth from those rays radiated joy into my life. Her wedding day, a day that should have been wonderful and a start of a new life for her and her unborn child.

I can still see that day, just as it happened two years ago. A day that brings pain to my heart and tears into my eyes. I hope and pray that NO mother or father has to go through what I did on that sunny day. The clouds snapped the sun out of my life. Right now I need a drink, maybe that drink will help hold back these tears that I feel coming on right now, and the sickness and pain from seeing my daughter lying there in the cold street with her hot blood on my hands.

You try to hold it together because you don't want people seeing you cry. I could not help myself, the tears came and I cried like a baby. My daughter and her unborn child were dead. Shot on her wedding day. A day that should have been joyful, sweet and wonderful just turned into nothing but pain.

That kind of pain which ate my ass up. Damn life sucks! When that day came I was in the court room; waiting to see who this dog was that took my daughter away from me. Two years of pain, two years of eating my heart out, wondering why? Why her, my daughter?

As I sat there facing him, I didn't see him because I was having flash-backs. I was back in Vietnam and all I saw was a man in the jungle looking for me. Trying to keep me from coming home to those I love. Sweat began to pour off of me and I found myself wet and cold from that sweat. I had to get away. The next thing I knew, I was back in the courtroom.

Looking at that man whom stamped out my sun-shine and took my grandchild away from me, that little person that I would never get to hold in my arms or plant a kiss on him or her when I put that child into its bed and said goodnight and that I love you. I felt the tears and the pain and then right here in the court room, I remember something that my grandmother use to say the Lord gives and the lord can take it maybe this fool didn't understand those words "the lord give it, because he (the guy that killed my daughter) took it, the sun-shine out of my life. That dark cloud that still remains inside of me, even as I write these words.

When it came time for him to address the court as to why he took this woman's life and the life of her unborn child? This fool didn't say that he was sorry about what he had done. All this fool said to the court was... If I could not have her, then no one else could have her. I popped her!" Crazy as this shit may sound, there are a lot of fools (men and women) running around the streets thinking about the same old bull-shit. It's like they say, this world has gone to hell and back in a hand basket

Sometime later this dog or whatever you might wish to call him, found out that he had killed the wrong person. It was not his girlfriend that he shot because her wedding wasn't to take place until five o'clock that evening. This crazy ass fool had gotten the wedding time mixed up, because he had been drinking and on weed.

All I can do now is to hope that this jury will take the sunshine out of his ass, and may his days be Dark and Cold as Hell

Damn life sucks.

I started going back to church thinking that this would ease the pain that's cutting me up bit by bit at a time. You know sometimes when you are sitting around and you have this crazy ass feeling that something is eating your ass up, and you