The Many Faces of Trauma (Let's talk about grief, love, pain, and everything in between)

By Michelle Cunningham-Strong

The Many Faces of Trauma is a book created to bring awareness to trauma and mental health issues created by those traumatic events. The Author shared her own personal traumatic stories and how they affected her mentally and physically. She also shares the tools she used to get her to where she is today. Her goal in writing this book is to bri

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michelle V.C. Strong
• Release date: Dec 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798218360917

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

First off, I am so grateful that you have taken a moment out of your day to pick up this book. During my own personal healing journey, it was placed on my heart, to write this book. I wanted the focus to be on trauma and healing through those things that may have caused it. I'm no expert in the area of trauma. However, throughout my life, I have experienced several traumatic events. Through prayer, therapy, family support, and other tools, I've been able to get through some very difficult times in my life. One thing that I learned through therapy is how much I love to write. It allows me to get those feelings out, that I'm not always able to express to someone. So, for several years, at any given moment, I have been writing. It can be my own thoughts and feelings or just being inspired by something or someone else's journey. Writing has truly been healing for me. I hope that my words can keep you encouraged through your journey of healing as well. I pray that you know that you are not alone when it comes to dealing with mental health. So many people are suffering in silence. That must change. My goal is to bring more awareness to mental health and get rid of the stigma that goes along with people who suffer from it. So, let’s embark on this journey together and let’s heal together!

CHAPTER ONE

I’LL BE MISSING YOU!

(Loss)

Who would’ve thought that my life would change so drastically one day at the age of 5 years old? Just the day before, my mother was preparing me for kindergarten. I’m told that it was one of my mother’s proudest moments. She was so excited to see her precious baby girl, her one and only child, start school. Little did she know she would not be around to see it.

I remember waking up one morning after having the most beautiful dream. In my dream, it was this beautiful angel at my bedside. She was in all white and had this illuminating glow that surrounded her. She had these big, beautiful wings. Her wings were spread so wide, as if she just floated next to my bed. She just stared at me and me back at her. No words were spoken between us. We just gazed at each other. I didn’t recognize who she was, I just knew she felt familiar, and I felt a sense of peace with her being there. I did not know that I knew this angel very well.

My mom and I lived with my grandmother, so it wasn’t unusual for people to just show up to visit. On this day, my aunt came by. It didn’t strike me as unusual, because she would visit often. I was a nosey kid, so when she came to visit, I would sit at the top of the stairs, so I could hear what she and my grandmother were talking about. I don’t remember what her exact words were, I just knew something bad had happened to my mother. I heard my aunt saying to my grandmother that she would tell me. I heard my aunt’s feet approaching the stairs that I was sitting at the top of, so I hurried up ran to my room, and jumped in the bed. She came to my room and asked me to come downstairs because she had something that she wanted to tell me. It felt like the longest trip downstairs ever. She had me sit in my grandmother’s favorite big, blue chair and looked deep into my eyes. I could just see the pain in her eyes. I could tell that she was trying to be strong, as she had to say the words that would break a little girl’s heart forever. She told me that my mother had passed away and that she wasn’t coming back. I remember just staring off as if I could block out what she had just said to me. She noticed it and asked me did I understand what she said. I nodded my head, yes and fought with everything in me not to cry. I just wanted to go back upstairs to my room. When I got back to my room, I just lay in my bed and cried. I kept thinking about my last memory of her. It was me sitting on the couch, watching her leave, and just crying because I wanted to go with her. I often was not allowed to go with her, because of the lifestyle that she led. All I wanted to do was to just be with her and it broke my heart that I couldn’t. Now I was never going to see her again. I thought to myself, If I had only been able to go with her!

My life changed forever that day. It was not until a few years later that I realized that the angel in my dream was my beautiful mother. I believe that it was her coming to tell me goodbye before she went to heaven. Losing her was just the beginning of several traumatic events that happened in my life. I would suffer many more losses after losing her.

THE ANGEL WHO BROKE MY HEART

I wish you could see yourself the way that I saw you. I remember I would just sit and stare at you. You had this outer beauty that no one could deny. In fact, it’s still talked about this day. You had this big, beautiful red hair and hazel, green eyes that would just take your breath away. Let me not forget that smile, with the deepest dimple that rested on your left cheek. I wanted to look just like you so very badly. I was just mesmerized by everything about you. I just couldn’t believe that someone so beautiful walked this earth. You just had this glow that radiated from the inside, out. I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Many were captivated by the mere presence of you. The captive audience didn’t know the many battles you fought on the inside. They didn’t know that in order for you to cope with those battles, you turned to things to temporarily mask the pain of it all. The pain of not feeling worthy or that you were enough. Eventually, it would take over your life. It would consume you. You felt that you couldn’t live without it. Still, it didn’t change how I felt about you. You were still the most beautiful person in this world to me. Even when the bright glow that you had, didn’t shine so brightly anymore. I still saw you as the beautiful Angel who walked this earth. I wish you could see yourself the way that I saw you!

I love you, Mama!

Journaling through Trauma

Express Yourself

CHAPTER TWO

BUT YOU SAY HE’S JUST A FRIEND!

(Rape)

In high school, I wasn’t what some considered a popular student. I was pretty enough to be noticed by some of the popular guys and quiet enough to be thought of as stuck up, by some of the popular girls. I had a select few groups of people who I considered friends. One girl, I considered my very best friend. We were opposite in so many ways, but alike in so many others. We just had a very special bond. She on the other hand was popular. She was so outgoing and very intelligent. She wanted to do everything that I shied away from. She liked playing sports and even joined the cheerleading team. She even did the cliché thing and started dating a football player. He was a very cool, chill guy. I would often be the third wheel when they would spend time together.

On this day, she asked me to go with her over to her boyfriend’s best friend’s house. She was meeting him there and wanted me to come along. I didn’t hesitate at all, because I knew his best friend. In fact, we had known each other