EVEN THOUGH THE GRASS IS GREENER DIRT IS THERE ALSO

By Dontavius M. Foster

My name is Dontavius M. Foster and this story is about a man who loses his way. Only God can bring him back unless Satan has other plans. When a man's love Falls between two women... Who would he choose? Whether or not to be in love is truly the question. More so, was it really love? Or lus

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Jul 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781637672068

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Dontavius M. Foster.

Paperback: 978-1-63767-207-5

eBook: 978-1-63767-206-8

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021907075

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

This is a work of fiction.

Ordering Information:

BookTrail Agency

8838 Sleepy Hollow Rd.

Kansas City, MO 64114

Printed in the United States of America

Contents

Acknowledgements

Preface

Prologue

Chapter 1       I Think I Need Help

Chapter 2      Here We Go

Chapter 3      Free-Spirited

Chapter 4      Never Say Never

Chapter 5      Blessed In My Mess

Chapter 6      When Shit Hits the Fan. It Gets Messy

Chapter 7      What’s Family For?

Chapter 8      The Seed is Planted

Chapter 9      Couples Therapy

Chapter 10    Maurice Notes

Chapter 11    Guilty By Suspicion

Chapter 12    Me and Ms. Jones Pt1. Just the Two of Us

Chapter 13    I Got My Drink and My Two-Step

Chapter 14    Me & Ms. Jones Pt2 I’m Just Trying to Get My Feet Wet

Chapter 15    April Is For Fools

Chapter 16    It Takes a Good Bait to Hook a Fish

Chapter 17    Me & Ms. Jones Pt3 I Need You Next to Me In More Ways Than One

Chapter 18    Guilty By Association

Chapter 19    My First Loves

Chapter 20    I Needed to Circumvent

Chapter 21    I Think Curiosity Killed Ms. Kathy

Chapter 22    To Close for Comfort

Chapter 23    Foresight

Chapter 24    This Is Too Much for the Atlas to Bear

Chapter 25    A Drunk Man Tells No Lies

Chapter 26    Blackmail for a Blackmale

Chapter 27    Truth Is I Refuse to Wait

Chapter 28    Me & Ms Jones Part 4, Mutual Interest

Chapter 29    Mother Knows Best

Chapter 30    Playing With Your Food Will Only Make You Hungrier

Chapter 31    Me & Ms Jones Part5, Dinner to Rendezvous

Chapter 32    Checkmate

This book isn’t real but it may be real to you. It’s just my imagination and my demons running wild. However, if this were my story I guess I would finally get a chance to exhale.

Acknowledgements

First and foremost I would like to thank God for giving me a chance to grow. This book is written with love and pain intertwined. I would like to thank those of you. Who played a vital part in my life and influenced me for the better as well as the worse. I love you all with no love lost.

AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO 

KING OF VISUALZ - Muhammed White (PHOTOGRAPHER)

Angel Adams and Emallie Heard (COVER MODELS) 

Preface

Hi, my name is Justin Jones. I had come to realize that saying the words I love you can be an extremely dangerous thing. Be careful who you tell them to because the words I love you do come with a lifetime of consequences. Although, marriage is for better or worse. The three rings plus the two people narrows it down to one purpose. Til Death However, that is not necessarily true. Even though the grass may seem greener elsewhere, dirt is there also. This is my story. 

Prologue

It was a week before Halloween, and I was contemplating suicide. Yeah, I said it, I was about to jump off the Savannah bridge.  As I stood in the midst of dead silence, all I noticed to the  left of me was South Carolina. Meanwhile, as I looked to my right, I had the beautiful city of Savannah lingering in my view. Somewhere along the way, I had lost my sense of direction and ending my life seemed to be the only remedy for my depression. You know it has to be bad if alcohol could not even render a temporary solution anymore. 

I had sacrificed my whole twenties to be a family man and to be quite honest, I was afraid to admit that I wanted to be free again. I clearly wasn’t ready to be committed to anyone, and the thought of someone telling me what I can or cannot do  because I tied the knot really pissed me off.  I sighed as I let the current wave of thoughts flood my mind. Oh, how I missed the excitement before marriage. Nevertheless, was this all just a bad  dream, or should I say, water under a bridge now. Hmm, I was about to be floating in that exact spot. I know there’s someone thinking that it can’t be all that bad. You’ll never understand unless you were to take a walk in my size eleven footwear. Once certain doors are open, some of them are too stubborn to close again. 

There has to be more to life than this. If you can hear me, God, you better answer me before I do something drastic. I’ll jump, I swear! I said as I turned the bottle of brandy up. I staggered as I struggled for the last drop or two.  The funny thing is I got  mad and threw the damn bottle out into the night because it was empty, just like my life felt. Ha! I knew it. I knew you wouldn’t answer me. Well I’m tired of waiting on you, since life waits for no one, I said as I climbed up on top of the rail. Once I looked down, I found myself wobbling a bit. Somehow everything below had  begun to turn into a blur.

Although, I am used to difficult heights. Moreso, this was far greater  than I was accustomed to. Before I could get the words fuck it! out of my mouth. My phone had started to ring. Wow! This is crazy because I can’t even die on time. Plus I was unsere why my sister Didi called me at this ungodly hour anyway? My indecisiveness had made my choice harder than what it needed to be, so I took another glance at my phone and then back at the ocean again. Somewhere in my second deranged brain, I had regained a sober mind for once and decided to jump down off the rails to answer the call.

Good morning, sis! You’re calling kind of late, don’t you think.

 Yeah, I know.  I had the strangest dream about you, and there was something about it that seemed to bother me, so I felt the need to call to make sure you were ok.

Well, I believe i’m as good as i’m going to get.

I’m not sure what that means, but anyway, I’m hosting an all-black party on the 28th of October, and I want you to come.

Uh! I don’t know what the future holds for me, so let me get back to you.

Ok, but don’t think too hard about it.  I believe this party will change your life and get you up out of your slump. Oh, and by the way. Why are you still up right now? It’s like a quarter past three, don’t you have to be at work in the morning?

Yes, but I was just thinking about clocking out beforehand

Justin, what are you talking about? You must be drinking right now.

Yes! I! Am.

Ugh! You are your father’s child. Anywho, I love you brother, and if I don’t see you before, then I’ll see you when I can. The party will be at temptations on the river.

Ok Sis,  I love you too, I said as I hung the phone. I guess your timing is inevitable. Hell, I could always die another day.

Later that week while having lunch with a colleague of mine, Mr. Hawkins, who is  better known as hawk. That following Tuesday afternoon,  I asked for his advice on something. He was my friend and the only one who was up-to-date on my current situation. Hawk got a chance to see my marriage from both sides. Therefore, he encouraged me to go enjoy myself because a release of stress was long overdue. I believe his exact words were, you’re going to meet someone that’s going to bring you back to life. 

Somehow Friday, October 28, got here quicker than a lil bit. I called myself staging an argument the night before with my wife, Consuela, so that I would have an excuse not to come home tonight. I kept a travel bag in the car just in case something unexpected came up.

After I had booked a room in the pooler for the night. I decided to take a shower and prepare myself for the evening full of delight, but before I left the room, I took one last glance in the mirror. I despised seeing the man that I was becoming, so I told myself to live in the moment as I headed out.

For some reason, tonight seemed like a night for being optimistic. I was on my way to one of the hottest spots in the C-port. Temptation’s on the river, and there was plenty of it walking around downtown on the cobblestones. Not to mention  all of the savannah’s sexiest women were masquerading around in costumes all over the town. You could smell the salt from the ocean mixed in with the aromas from the restaurants. As I pulled my Camaro up the valet and told him to handle with care. He acted as if he had an attitude, so I slipped him a nifty-fifty to give him a reason to be more hospitable. This was just my way of giving a lil contribution to show my gratitude.

Once I stepped on the elevator, I pressed the button for the seventh floor, and I prepared myself for the turn-up. As the elevator doors closed, I told myself whatever problems that I thought I may have had, they needed to be  discarded at the present moment.

After the elevator doors opened, I exhaled from the thought of Nostalgia setting in. There was a sense of peace here and  I loved it. The party-goers were dressed for the occasion, and the music had the crowd hype. Everyone was enjoying the atmosphere. From a distance I could see my sister mixing up one of her exotic concoctions for a couple of fairies. Ah! This was truly what I needed.To get away from business as usual I thought as  I navigated my way to the bar.

 Hey, what can I get you, the bartender said as he finished serving his customers over at the end of the bar.  Um! Let me get a blue motherfucker to get this party started, and can you do me a favor.

What is it?

Could you let Didi know that I’m here?

Yeah, you got it buddy.

Thanks, I said as I handed him my card. Man! Savannah has some of the hottest women in the city right here in one spot, and I was lucky to be in the midst of all this diversity, and now it was time to diversify. Here’s your drink, sir. You must plan on it being a long night.

Yeah, you could say that. You can’t stop fate, right?

I guess you’re right. I’ll let her know that you’re looking for her. He as he walked off.

Meanwhile, as I waited for Didi. I noticed that wonder woman was looking gooder than the mother-fucker beside me. She was very attractive, and her physique was unique. Her lips complemented her hips, but it was her eyes at first glance that spoke to me.

Hmm! You are looking really good in that costume.

Thanks

But tell me something, are you really a wonder woman? I said as I sipped on my elixir. Wouldn’t you like to know where my power lies? she responded with a smile.

Likewise, wouldn’t you like to know what secrets I possess?

Asia

Justin, I replied as I held my cup out to toast. We conversed for a while until my sister rudely interrupted us. Hey, brother, I’m glad you could make it. How are you enjoying the party so far? Didi asked as she came from around the bar to hug me. It’s cool. I definitely needed to get away. My brother-in-law will kill you if he sees you dressed like a slutty cat. Trust me, he likes when I dress up like a slutty cat.

Ugh! Now that’s too much info 

He would have come, but he doesn’t like to see random  guys flirting with me. Not to mention if he were to come, it would interfere with my tips.

 That makes perfectly good sense. Oh, by the way, I want you to meet-I said as I turned to realize that my future companion had slipped away from me. Justin, please try to be on your best behavior. Have some fun, and I’ll catch you later. I’m going to send you over one of my signature drinks, she said she hugged me again and walked off.

By the time I polished off my first drink. Drew had brought me a pineapple cup beverage, if this was a compliment from my sister then  I knew it was going to be good. So I took a sip and scanned around the room for Asia, but there was no sign of her. She’ll be back, I thought.

After a few drinks with my new found friend, Drew. I was lit. Hmm! I wondered if this night could get any better. Excuse me, sir! This drink was sent over by the lovely lady at the other end of the bar, the bartender said as she pointed to the end. We caught eye contact then I raised my glass fast to let her know I‘d acknowledged her kind gesture then she signaled back to confirm the challenge. I took a sip from her cup to acknowledge  It was a taste of her seductive peach. Hmm! This wasn’t your ordinary drink. There’s no way that I could leave this moment to chance. Opportunity never knocks the same way twice, I thought as she shot me another quick glance. Her eyes were enticing as they welcomed me over. I couldn’t explain what I was experiencing just yet. It was more than likely the liquor kicking in and there was something from within that excited me the closer I got to her.

Damn your sexy  ass hell, Ms. Lady, but I didn’t have to tell you what you already have come to know. I said as I tried to contain myself. This is true. I can have anyone in here, but what are the odds of me wanting you? she replied. As she rubbed on my thigh, my body was overwhelmed with vibrations. It was like the cosmos had aligned this divine connection because I had never felt like this before. Not even before I got married. What the hell? I’m not sure, but I like those odds. Just looking at her thick thighs with those dangerous brown eyes let me know I was in trouble. I’ve been known to make trouble, but I didn’t care about any consequences that may follow tonight. My conscience couldn’t even persuade me to do otherwise if it wanted to. My case in point, my guardian angel was probably looking down over me like, this mofo… The mysterious woman grabbed me by the hand and led me up to V.I.P. where the room had this white sectional in it with a neon cube table that illuminated the room and a lace curtain that provided temporary privacy. I felt the moment had brought us together and as we stood there together. I brought her in closer to kiss me but as I closed my eyes. She pushed me onto the couch and went to close the curtains. The way she strutted in those heels made my curve appeal because I already knew what the deal was. How am I the one being seduced when I’m usually the one who does the seducing? I said as I tried to finish my drink but she wouldn’t let me. My body was intoxicated while my mind was being fucked. Who said I was seducing you? she said as she straddled me. Meanwhile, her hands wrapped around my head, I found myself to caress her contour as well. Next, she kissed me on my neck and then earlobe. Once she started to tongue kiss me it was as if she had transported me into another universe. My body told me that I wanted her just as bad as she needed me. I was lost in the moment and she was the only one who had come for me. I watched her  whip her hair behind her back as she gazed into my eyes. What do you see when you look at me? I see no regrets Now that’s a damn good answer. Let me see your phone. she replied. I handed it to her, and I didn’t give a damn what came next. She could have whatever, whenever she wanted it.

After she sat my phone on the cube and sipped her drank, she began to kiss me again, and it was as if an electric current was running through me. I felt like I was about to melt in the literal sense. I could feel her unbutton my pants, and then she unzipped my zipper. Her kisses were soft as she headed down I-95 south for her destination. I never knew what heaven felt like, but trust me, it was cumming closer by the minute. Oh my God. I love this girl, and I don’t even know her name. She makes my world-. Wha-! What in the world? She just stopped out the blue. wait! I wasn’t finished yet. Please don’t go! I said as I tried to pull myself together but I was still nuttin up. Um! I gotta go, she said as she smiled and vanished through the curtains  into the multitude. I picked up my phone and commenced to this game of chasing the cat. I tried to keep up with her but she had one hell of a head start. I maneuvered through the crowd the best that I could with my drunk ass. Aha! I spotted her just getting on the elevator. She looked at me with her devilish grin and blew me a kiss before the doors had closed. Shit! I had to find her and  I refused to let her get away.  As drunk as I was, I headed for the stairs. It felt like I was in an action movie as I chased my prey.

Finally, I arrived on River Street where I heard the Catholic church bell rang. It was after midnight, and I didn’t know which way to proceed because the streets were congested with party-goers. Ugh! I can’t believe I lost her, I said with disgust then  headed back up to the bar.

Once back upstairs, I explained to Drew what happened, and we both took a shot. In her, I felt that life was worth living. I thought as I rubbed my forehead. I was so drunk off her that I could barely stand up straight. Drew, I  gotta  find her.

Justin, I’ve been down this road before, and trust me, I crashed and burned just like you’re about to do.

but you just don’t understand.

Oh! I understand perfectly. You’re officially wasted. No more for you, buddy. You had some fun, now let it go.

Never! I replied as I jumped up headed for the elevator. Apparently, Drew had sought out Didi brother, you’re drunk. I’m going to call Consuela to come to get you. I heard faintly as the elevator door closed. The valet offered to call me a cab, but I politely declined by telling him to fuck off, and the rest was history.

Chapter 1

I Think I Need Help

It was a Monday morning about twenty-three minutes to nine, on the 31st day of October. I sighed because I had just caught DUI number two over the Halloween weekend. Honestly, all that I seem to remember was me talking to the sexy Cleopatra and the bartender, Drew who kept me infused with alcoholic delights all night, that was a treat. However, the trick was on me because on the way back to Pooler I recalled this truck swerving into my lane and to avoid him hitting me, I swerved and struck a parked car. At least that’s what I’d like to think I remembered. My job on the other hand took into consideration that I might have a problem and forced me-. I mean ordered me to go see a shrink. The only reason I’m humbling myself down is that I love my job here at the Oil Refineries of America.

The board met with me prior to my shift because they had viewed me on the Savannah police dept. website of shame. Nevertheless, I was given an ultimatum. This is your second DUI, get the help that you need or find another career! Mr. Ellington demanded. I felt so humiliated because I had to tuck my tail between my legs and do what I heard this elderly woman tell her grandchild to do. Suck it up, buttercup! Meanwhile, they gave me an address off of Waters Ave. in the medical district and told me to report within forty-eight hours to Safe Haven Recovery for my evaluation. Time was of the essence and I didn’t want to waste any more of it. So I left work immediately to go and resolve this matter. How can they do this to one of their best employees? My work is not under scrutiny, it’s the alcohol, silly. In addition, my drinking didn’t even revolve around my work. They can’t fire me because I am very much needed.

I arrived at  Safe Haven Recovery around 9:30 am, and  as I sat in the car, my mind had started to question if I really had a problem. Nah! At least, I don’t think so. Should I attempt to be honest with myself, or should I try to manipulate the situation? Hmm! Either way, it’ll be  a win-win for me because I’ll get to keep my job as long as I play the role and act like I am getting the help that I need and deserve. Ha! Yeah right.

Nevertheless, life goes on, and I’ll continue to live the chameleon life. I sighed because It can become quite exhausting at times, but you can’t have sanity without insanity being the polarity, the attraction of the opposites. As I entered the lobby, I noticed it was  fairly decent  in size. It also contained a few rows of chairs, and only a handful of them were occupied by warm bodies pretending to watch TV and the others mostly scanning through the pictures in the magazines. Finally, I made my way across the lobby to the receptionist desk that was adjacent to the refreshment area.

Hi! My name is Justin Jones, and I’m here because my job sent me over, I said as I chose my words carefully, so I didn’t feel compromised about my demise. Who do you work for? The receptionist replied.

Oil Refineries of America.

Ok, Mr. Jones. Welcome to Safe Haven Recovery. If you will, please sign in and have a seat. One of the counsellors will be with you shortly, she said as I watched her fumble around with the computer mouse. I noticed her name tag read Jesse and at that moment I was beginning to feel a lil messy. She was a gorgeous blonde that had  baby blue sapphire eyes that would make you say yes to anything she demanded. If I didn’t know any better I would consider her to be a model because of her average height and petite frame. For her to be a white woman with an European accent, I was turned on by her. Not to mention whatever  perfume she was wearing, it reminded me of this department store fragrance that gave off this alluring scent of apple blossom. I’d love to have a slice of that apple pie, I thought as I took a seat. I assumed her smile indicated that she may have read my mind. I searched through the magazines for something to distract me from my reality, but nothing seemed to hold my attention. Man, I really needed to dodge this shrink so I can go and get a drink. Meanwhile, I needed to elude this DUI at all costs because this would jeopardize my job and everything that I have going on. I just happened to look up at a commercial appealing to DUI offenders, go figure. I saved  the number in my phone  and made a mental note to call him later on this week. I felt like my mind was playing tricks on me because I could have sworn I heard an umpire say strike two! Fuck! As I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, I felt like my life was on the rocks, just like I preferred my liquor. I also felt like I was three-quarters away from reaching that apple and needed to find a way to salvage this marriage or go back to being one of Savannah’s finest bachelors again. You only live once or so I heard. Maybe, i’ll just let it play itself out. The air had been infiltrated by the smell of coffee and different pastries. I debated on whether or not I was going to put my pride to the side so I could help myself to a donut and a cup of Joe. On second thought, I had changed my mind because it had to be a test. My reason for not declining the simple gesture was I didn’t want to seem like a charity case.

After about forty-five minutes of waiting, I saw Jesse motion for me to come over to her desk. Mr. Kennedy will see you now. Just go down the hallway to your left and keep straight until you reach the last door at the end of the hall.

 Thanks, I said as I followed her directions. There were only two people besides myself left in the lobby at that time. One was an older white gentleman that looked like he could’ve been a captain of a cruise ship. The second was a heavyset black guy who appeared to be overwhelmed about something as he fiddled with his fingers. I once heard a statement that said, it’s  funny when the problem belongs to someone else and to tell you the truth, I was fearful as a hog on the way to the slaughter. All I could think about as I walked this perpetual walk was, should I lie or speak the truth. My wife thinks I lie so much that I believe there’s truth to it. Moreso, I keep hearing there is freedom in being truthful. I guess my soul was in dire need of a cleanse. Once I approached the door that had a gold-plated tag on it that read Dr. Maurice Kennedy. I took one long deep breath, before I knocked on the door.

After a brief silence, I was told to enter. Hi, Mr. Jones, it’s so good to finally meet you. Come on in and take a seat and  I’ll be right with you Mr. Kennedy said as he walked over to give me a firm handshake and then he went back over to his desk and resumed whatever it was that I had interrupted. He didn’t even smile, oh boy, this can’t be good at all. There was a blue couch with two swivel chairs on either side of the coffee table. I shook my head as if  this were another test so I decided to sit on the couch. I figured it would put me in a neutral spot. Therefore, I could equally lie or tell the truth. I’m a freaking genius. By the looks of things, Mr. Kennedy was a tall man of color whose dreads and mustache gave a hint at his age. He was well dressed as well as groomed. Although, just for men hasn’t appeared to have won him over yet. After looking around his office, I noticed that he was highly intelligent by the plaques he had displayed along the wall. To me, he gave off the impression that he was very uppity like,  they should’ve never given you negro’s money, I thought. Also, there was an enormous bookshelf over by the window that had quite a selection of  books from what I could tell. Even though the  sun was shining through the blinds, I couldn’t find one single cloud in the sky. Probably because I didn’t sense that the dark clouds were over me.

Hello, again Mr. Jones, My name is Dr. Maurice Kennedy and I will be handling your evaluation today to determine if you need one of three things. One, to see if you’re that one in a million that actually just happened to be in the wrong place at the right timeor rather the hand that you were dealt just happened to be the luck of the draw. Two, to see if you just need a few sessions to allow yourself to get somethings off your chest. Finally, depending on my findings today that will help me to  determine whether you need additional help depending on how our roundabout goes today. Either way, I will give your job a call after I fax over my findings. Furthermore, everything that we talk about will not leave this  room, Doctor-patient confidentiality." 

Your secrets and fears are safe with me. Let me also apologize for lingering on the computer when you came in. I was reading an email from your job in which they expressed you’re an asset to the company and they have your best interest at heart. Therefore, Mr. Jones, don’t lose what you’ve worked so hard to accomplish. By the way you can call me Maurice, sometimes being called Dr. Kennedy makes me feel older than I should. Although, I would like to think that I am still in my prime. Is it okay if I call you Justin? He said with a crooked smile. His eyes penetrated my soul like a hawk who had just found its next victim and  I didn’t trust him. This reminded me of this poem that I wrote about this light skin cat that conned me, back in the day, Never trust a red negro that smiles. Sure! I said as I  tried to shake this feeling of uneasiness. Alright now before we get started, I need you to take this drug test to make sure you’re not under the influence. Are you high or intoxicated right now?

Nope! I said as I gave him one of those looks that gave off the impression that I was irritated. He then handed me a specimen jar as he held the door open. As I walked over to the bathroom to handle my business. I quickly noticed Maurice had come in behind me to observe this marvelous occasion. I so badly wanted to ask him if he felt the need to stick my dick in the cup too, damn queer! I guess some things are truly better left unspoken. Meanwhile, I gave him the container before I flushed the urinal and washed my hands as we both awaited the results. As I looked into the mirror, I realized that something was different about me. Like the real me was trapped inside it somehow and this offset version of me had taken over. I just had to ask myself, who am I now that alcohol has seemed to have stolen my identity? Have I gone so far as to believe that there’s no way back to who I once was? Ok! Mr. Jones, your results came back negative. Now we can proceed." He said as we headed back to his office. 

I could hear the traffic from outside the building coming and going. Even though my mind was in a stand still because I was unsure of everything at this present moment. Like for instance, what should I say to make all this nonsense go away?  For God’s sake it was just a drink, I think. Nevertheless, if I don’t take care of this today, there will be a lot of rainy days heading my way. Maybe everything will be okay if I found  a focal point to avoid eye contact in my vulnerable state. Okay, I’m ready, I said as I watched the ceiling fan go around and around like a dog chasing its tail. Maurice had reached over to turn on his recorder as well as his static box  to muffle the noise then once  he got comfortable in his chair. He leaned back with his  pad and pen as if to take notes.

Now we may begin, Mr. Jones, do you like to drink alone or do you prefer to drink with a crowd of people?

Uh! I enjoy them both actually. Although, I really enjoy drinking alone while listening to music. This is my way to escape life’s mishaps.

Oh! I understand completely, so why do you like to drink?

For starters, I love the feeling it gives me. Let’s just say that I like to drink regardless of what’s going on in my life. No matter whether it’s good or bad, preferably good. I would like to think i’ve been blessed thus far.

That’s good to know, Mr. Jones, now i’m going to ask you a series of questions. The first set will deal with emotions, and the second set will deal with locations. he said as he wrote on his pad. I laid down on the couch as I tried to relax a bit. His questions were not as bad as I thought they would be. As long as I keep my answers short and sweet, I should be fine, I hope. Do you drink when you’re happy or when you’re feeling optimistic?

 Both! 

What about when you’re sad or mad?

Yes!

Ok, what about when you’re frustrated?

Yes!

And how about when you’re lonely or fearful?

Oh God, yes! I said nervously as I heard him say, hmm. What the hell does that suppose to signify? I felt my anxiety  start to flare up. What could he have gotten out of a few emotions? Ok, on to the next group of questions. Bear with me, he said as he continued to jot onto his pad. I was amazed to see his penmanship at work, just look at him go. Do you drink at home?

Yes, that would be a no-brainer, I said sarcastically. What about on the highway?

Yeah, way back when I was careless.

 Ok then, How about at work?

What! That doesn’t even make sense. Who would do such a thing like that? I said as I swallowed hard. Shit, I hope he didn’t realize that I hesitated. Maurice had shot me a quick glance as if  he already knew the answer. Fuck! Yes or no, Mr. Jones.

No, sir!

What about at the park?

Yes

A party.

Yes, sir.

Alright, one last question. Have you ever had a drink in the cemetery? Maurice said as he anticipated my answer. My dumbass  couldn’t help but to burst into a chuckle at the question, and I could tell that his patience was being stretched by the way he tapped his pad. I guess I could render an explanation to him. Well, see what had happened was, there was this one time  I had sex in the-. 

Just stick to the yes or no script if you would, please and thank you kindly. He said as he continued to scribble on his pad. What a jerk, he probably has to pay for sex so he can feel better about himself. Hmm! He must have low T’s or something, no wonder why he considered being a shrink. I laughed out loud by mistake and then tried putting my hand over my mouth. Damn, I got to be more professional.  May we continue if you’re done entertaining yourself.

Yes, I have before.

Now, was that so hard?

Yes, it was kind of difficult.

You know what?  I think I have all the information I need to complete my assessment of you. I will send your job my findings later on today. Unfortunately, I will be seeing you later. He said as he plopped his pad and pen on the desk. I popped up off the couch like a jack in the box. What do you mean you’ll see me later. You got me fucked up! I answered all of your questions truthfully even when I wanted to lie. I said furiously as I headed for his desk. He didn’t even flinch as he sat in his chair and calmly said, Indeed you did, Mr. Jones, I noticed that you use alcohol as a coping mechanism to escape the things that bother you the most. You clearly have a problem, and running from reality won’t help you face it. The fact of the matter is, outside of your defensive mechanisms, I can see the goodness in you. Therefore, I’m going to help you the best way I know how.

I’m not about to let you project your theory on me. The hell with you and your professional opinion. I said as I pointed my finger at him then he stood up defensively. Meanwhile, as I headed for the door, I froze like a mannequin when I heard Mr. Jones, before you run off, what would you like for me to tell your job? That statement hit me as if I had been struck by a dodgeball. This S.O.B don’t like to play fair, I see. Even though he was right, I had to stop and consider what would be like for my family if I lost my job? Consuela would probably get a kick out of this because she envied the money I was making with my rise to the top. It isn’t my fault her degrees hadn’t paved the way to her success as she had hoped for. Needless to say, she’d be more likely to worry me to death about how we would manage this crisis. Obviously, I’d  drink until I couldn’t hear her bickering faded. Hell, I could always get another job, but this one was a blessing in disguise, and I’d hate to lose it because of my negligence. Next, my daughter wouldn’t even understand if I told her that I lost my job. I can hear her now saying, I need my juice ice cold and my cartoons on-time. I really hated being the submissive one when I’m clearly the dominant one. I’m the shot-caller, I do what I want because that’s all I know, living life to the fullest. Fuck! I love my job and the terms in which I define it. I don’t need to mess things up more than I already have. Not to mention, I’d really have to take that plunge this time if I lost this 75k a year. Ugh! Seems like I’ve placed myself in the middle of a predicament and I didn’t have a choice but to remain humble. I’m committed to doing whatever it takes, Maurice, I said reluctantly.

Good answer, I told you I see something good in you. Hopefully, you got a lil sense up top and if you would use it, you’d be alright. I will let your job know that you’re in compliance and that you’re taking the right course of action needed to be at your very best. In the meantime, go see Jesse so she can get you all squared away. Have a nice day Justin, and remember to stay sober. Oh, and one more thing, could you close the door on your way out? he said. All I could do was scratch my head and think about what he had written on his pad. Whoever wrote the truth will set you free! can freely shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.

As I headed towards the lobby, I couldn’t help but wonder if this is what heading down shit’s creek felt like. By the time I got to the desk, Jesse was wrapping up her conversation with a client. There was something about her baby blues and her voice that was enchanting. I told myself, she could get it. How can I help you, Mr. Jones?.

Do I have to pay anything today? 

Yes sir, just your evaluation fee unless you’d like to pay for your treatment plan upfront.

Treatment plan? I know he ain’t trying to make it seem like I ain’t wrapped too tight. Shoot! How much will this whole ordeal cost me overall? I said as I squinted my eyes at her.  Although, Jesse’s smile distracted me from her calculating how much this bill was going to set me back.  For a moment, I swear every time she tapped a key, it felt like another hundred tallying up on my tab. Alright, Mr. Jones, here’s a complete breakdown of how you are being charged. There’s a hundred dollars for the evaluation that was done today. Also, he’s setting you up for twenty-two sessions at two hundred a pop. That’ll run you forty-five hundred total. Unless you have insurance then that’ll be eighteen hundred left for you to cover on your part. So how would you prefer to pay? We take cash, insurance, and most of the major credit cards. Unless you need a payment plan, Mr. Jones.

Now, this is how you get away with murder! I said as I  gave her my insurance card and  one of my credit cards. There was something in the way she swiped my card that indicated she waited for my confirmation. As our eyes connected that was all the approval I needed to make my move. Ok, Mr. Big spender, you’re all set. At the moment, I don’t have any dates available until Nov. 11th. Is that suitable for you?

Only if you will allow me the honour of taking you out to dinner sometime.

Um! I don’t know about that Mr. Jones, I might be too pricey for you, Seeing how you hesitated to give me your card.

Ha! Girl, I’m anti- hesitant and please call me Justin. Not to mention, why must we be so formal? With me girl, you can get whatever!

Oh really now! So you think I can be bought, huh Justin? she said