In Marriage and Divorce: The Prayers That Get Answered and the Ones That Don't

By Bill Andrews

I didnt understand the power of prayerhow, or even if, it worked. Experiencing the darkest side of a brutal divorce was my journey into these life-changing truths. In hindsight, divorce was not the answer. Prayer has had a powerful and tangible impact on every aspect of my liferelationships, business, everything.

Discover the key to pure unadulterated freedom! Do you want love, connection, deep intimacy, and adventure in your marriage or relationship? I invite you to join me.

You will discover at least one, maybe dozens, of truths lying dormant in your heart, such as:

what God says about how and why He answers prayers and why He doesnt,

how to expect answers to your prayers instead of just wishing theyd come true,

the most attractive power quality you can possess,

eighty-one practical ways prayer will recharge your marriage and your life, and

how to experience intimacy unlike anything youve ever known.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 11, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512718003

Bill Andrews

The author’s twenty-year on-again, off-again relationship war and subsequent divorce from his beautiful wife gave him an emotion-rich insider’s perspective on marital problems. Through therapy and counsel he discovered that divorce today is fashionable. Working through unhappiness in relationships is not. Worldly conventions did not reconcile with the truth in his heart. Seeking any connection, happenstance guided him into an experiential three-year study of the Bible. There he found the purest wisdom and reason concerning productive communication with the One who answers our prayers. Prayer God’s way, he discovered, is a humble but profound exercise that can change your life. It is the one thing you probably never took seriously that actually works, even miracles. “Like you, I live in a seductive world and struggle with challenges and temptation. I experience chaotic despair, and I enjoy periods of overwhelming peace. Honestly, I like peace better. Peace fosters the purest pleasures.” He has one question for you: Do you want a shot at genuine, fulfilling pleasure?

Book preview

© 2016 Bill Andrews.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1801-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1802-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1800-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015917991

WestBow Press rev. date: 6/21/2016

Contents

Preface

Introduction

Our Story—My Prayer

Confessions and Apologies

Prayer to a Personal God

The Children

The Parents, the Lovers, and the Haters

One Flesh

Destruction and Reflection

Intimacy

Sex

Listening

Hindered Prayers

Sincere Belief

The Unhindered Prayer

Facing Divorce without a Prayer

Taking Prayer for Granted

Prayer Can Be Too Personal

Prayer Is Too Easy to Act Out

Prayer Is the Ultimate Form of Intimacy

Prayer Invites the Power of God

Listening—the Best Part of the Prayer

Structure Your Prayers for Energy and Efficiency

Prayer of Thanks in Advance

Types of Prayers

•   Prayers on Control

•   Pray for Love

•   My Prayer of Free Will

•   Pray for Hope

•   Private Prayers

•   Guilt Prayers (Psalm 32 Paraphrased)

•   Who’s in Charge? Prayers for Your Stewardship

•   Prayers for Needs

•   Prayers That Encourage

•   Prayers for Great Sex

•   Prayers of Thanks

•   Prayers to Ease Marital Anxiety, Frustration, and Stress

•   Pray for Others’ Needs, and Listen in the Moment

•   Prayers for Wisdom

•   Prayers for Healing

•   Prayers for Your Enemies and Forgiveness

•   Pray Continuously

•   Prayers of Praise—Psalm 22:3

•   Lemons out of Lemonade Prayers

Praying Together

Eighty-one Benefits You Can Experience When You Pray

It’s Never Technique but Always Relationship

Physiology and Prayer

The Amazing Story of Peace

An Effective Crutch

Marriage and Divorce

www.PowerandWeakness.com

Why Pray?

Above all, we are relational creatures. Next, everything right, worthy, and fulfilling is embodied in love.

Talking with God, the Great Provider, is how we begin to build our relationships with God and others.

God is love.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails …

—1 Corinthians 13: 4–8

Is there a better way to live out any relationship?

Pray for everything; pray continuously.

Pray for the love in you that never fails.

She asked him,

If I were to put my life in your hands, what would you do with it?

We are all born into a desire and a need for relationship—first with the divine and then with one another. Marriage was meant to be the most complete form of human-to-human relationship, fully committed—body, mind, and soul.

Marriage done right has to be the most amazing gift God ever devised. But it is a double-edged sword, as any married person can attest. If done wrong for too long, it will slowly dull a mind and slice a heart in two—even four or eight. God and His love demands not only selflessness but a complete focus by and on the ones cherished.

Done right, it exists unaware in a state of natural obedience to every known law of relationship. Because, done right, it is drenched in love and spirit. Moved by these gentle yet infinite powers, we naturally act perfectly above and beyond all law. Marriage is two existing for the one. Done right, it is a refuge—a rare fountain of pleasure, an unbreakable bond, secure and exclusive. It is a priceless treasure.

Preface

If this story were the recollection of a crime, the author would be telling it from the perspective of the criminal, a partner in crime—hopefully, the reformed criminal. He is the only expert witness alive who can accurately describe the joy and the pain of his heart and the secret thoughts of his own mind before, during, and after the malfeasance.

His crime—divorce and the destruction of other people’s faith, security, and lives. The charges—ignorance, fear, inaction, faithlessness, godlessness, worldliness, conformity, selfishness, stubbornness, and carelessness. While incarcerated in a prison of guilt and doubt, he studied his psychology, God’s spiritual reality, and his own life. In the years that followed, he sought answers and practiced a new awareness. The prisoner subscribed to dozens of authorities and a classic ancient manuscript—The Authority—on the topic of perfect love.

With a single-minded focus, he tenaciously sought answers to his weakness. He never stopped dreaming of the day he would be released from the confining circumstances of his empty emotional prison cell. His ultimate redemption will be a greater love, understanding, forgiveness, and relationship.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.

—1 Peter 4:8

Introduction

It was like an earthquake … a 9.0. You know—the kind that keeps rolling and violently crumbling the foundations of everything familiar and comfortable in your life right before your very eyes. The devastating moment seems to last a lifetime. You are helplessly paralyzed as you get caught up in the fear and emotion of this powerful force. Divorce can be like that earthquake, and when it’s over, all you see is destruction everywhere. Nothing is familiar anymore—or comfortable. You have been drained of all that you loved.

It is in the aftermath of this destruction and from a perspective you might otherwise have never experienced that you come to see the beauty, value, and simple truths of the things you took for granted—things that could have mitigated some of the damage or helped you to avoid it altogether. Prayer is one of those things. Prayer has substance, and it is dynamic.

Prayer is not just a simple shout-out to an invisible God or the projection of magical thoughts into the great unknown. It is not necessarily polite or reserved. It is about sharing and respect for the truth and your emotions. It is sitting down with God—hopefully, with your husband or wife—and tabling everything you think is real. It begins with respect for the power of God, who can do all things for you that you cannot do for yourself. It is a spiritual dialogue with questions, pleas, and, above all else, answers.

Prayer should be entered into with great expectation. It is about aligning ourselves and our circumstances with the infinite power of the God of everything real. It is about the things we humans think and feel, fear and desire. It is being aware and confident, feeling the Spirit of God living in you—not out there, somewhere. It is not to be entered into weakly and passively. It is deep emotion, a time for a divine conversation, cleansing the self of everything that hinders the flow of God and love. It is pure spiritual intimacy. It is a time to be humble as we wait faithfully for our answers.

Talk to Him as if He were the person who loves, cares, and provides for all your needs. That is who He says He is.

God listens to truthful prayers. Yell at Him if you are mad at Him, and tell Him why you think your anger is righteous! It is amazing how quickly you will begin to see more clearly. Talk to Him as if He were the person who loves, cares, and provides for all your needs. That is who He says He is.

If you do not believe in Him, tell Him your reasons and ask for clarification. If you do believe in Him, then profess that belief. Let Him know you love Him. Express your gratitude—praise Him without reserve. Pour every drop of yourself onto Him—He may refill you twice again or even a hundredfold. Tell Him what you need and your plans to get it or simply that you have no plan. If you’ve been less than you should be, admit