The Broken Horoscope

By Raad Chalabi

The theme behind The Broken Horoscope is simple. It basically states that the more we try to pack individuals in predefined character slots in order to predict their future behaviour, the less likely we are to make any sense of what we subsequently observe their behaviour to be.

The book is intended to explore through imaginary dialogues the philosophical axiom that surprise is the essence of life and that human fickleness is its only anchor and the word maybe is its only compass.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Apr 25, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493194483

Raad Chalabi

Ramiz Alkhishin, the author’s alter ego, is a grocer. He has a passion for a life that is as independent as possible from its surroundings. To him the trendy place to be in is the one to avoid, while the traditional road to follow is the one to bypass. You may have met him before in his books: Fortune Cookies, Sketches, The Bazaar, The Balcony, The Lobby, The Tango of Gossip, Why Me, The Smiling Owl, and the Whispering Molecules. In his newest book, The Broken Horoscope, the author, Raad Chalabi, through forty-four stand-alone fictional dialogues, each highlighting at least one true character he had met, hopes to demonstrate the futility of boxing the ever-changing human behaviour within the boundaries of twelve zodiac signs.

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Raad Chalabi-PhD.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 04/23/2014

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris LLC

0-800-056-3182

www.xlibrispublishing.co.uk

[e-mail]

614267

Contents

1.          Introduction

2.          Freedom

3.          The Art of Being Important

4.          The Parade of Keh-Ria

5.          Shadow Boxing

6.          Eighty-Twenty

7.          Classroom Chatter

8.          Toothbrush Moment

9.          Certainty Box

10.       A Family Gathering

11.       Shadow

12.       What Is the Time, Please?

13.       A Secret Investment Formula

14.       Questions and Answers

15.       Istanbul

16.       Sandcastles

17.       Side Streets

18.       The Images of Pain

19.       Puzzle Phobia

20.       The Thug and the Professor

21.       What’s Under the Rug?

22.       The Wooden Rocking Horse

23.       The Ring

24.       Odd Neighbour

25.       Living with Insults

26.       The Rope of Treason

27.       A Bus Journey

28.       Daniela

29.       A Chain in a Box

30.       Family Affairs

31.       The Perils of Mangos

32.       Doorstep Politics

33.       The Mistrusting Job Applicant

34.       Confronting an Axiom

35.       Aida’s Choice

36.       Why Collect Odd-shaped Stones?

37.       Lucinda’s Stories

38.       Where Is My Box?

39.       The Excitement of Waiting

40.       He Took His Coat Off

41.       Weird Friendship

42.       Interviewing Bill

43.       A Staircase to Nowhere

44.       Call the Witch Doctor

45.       The Slippery Road of Chit-Chat

Introduction

Ramiz Alkhishin, the author’s alter ego, is a grocer. He has a passion for a life that is as independent as possible from its surroundings. To him, the trendy place to be in is the one to avoid, while the traditional road to follow is the one to bypass.

You may have met him before in his dialogue-based books: Fortune Cookies, Sketches, The Bazaar, The Balcony, The Lobby, The Tango of Gossip, Why Me, The Broken Horoscope, and the Whispering Molecules.

In his newest book, The Broken Horoscope, the author through forty-four stand-alone fictional dialogues, each highlighting at least one true character he had met in real life, hopes to demonstrate the futility of boxing the ever-changing human behaviour within the boundaries of twelve zodiac signs.

Reader: How would you define a person if not through his birth sign?

Ramiz: An individual is defined by the rational choices he freely makes as he or she confronts the unexpected dynamics of life.

Reader: So what constitutes a rational choice?

Ramiz: A choice whose consequences are what the decision maker desired them to be.

Reader: I see a flaw in your argument. What about those people who make uninformed and illogical choices but still end up with very beneficial and desired consequences, let alone those who correctly choose but still suffer disastrously? How can monitoring the consequences of their decisions, under such circumstances, be a measure of the soundness of their character as you seem to propose?

Ramiz: Well spotted. In my horoscope of infinite signs, having good luck trumps all else in terms of soundness of character!

Reader: What does your horoscope say of those whose freedom of choice is restricted by traditions, beliefs, or blind obedience to others?

Ramiz: It leaves its pages blank for them to fill as they see fit.

Reader: I expected you to preach that they should learn to be free to choose!

Ramiz: Freedom of choice is a state of mind ingrained in all. Some may embrace it and try to taste all its options. Some may choose not to explore its potential and just follow the trodden path. Others may choose not to master its tools and so drown in its many possibilities, while others may decide to ignore it and not to burden themselves with its consequences. Who am I to enforce my preference on anyone?

The theme behind The Broken Horoscope is simple. It basically states that the more we try to pack individuals in predefined character slots in order to predict their future behaviour, the less likely we are to make any sense of what we subsequently observe their behaviour to be.

The book is intended to explore through imaginary dialogues the philosophical axiom that surprise is the essence of life and that human fickleness is its only anchor and the word maybe is its only compass.

Freedom

Ex-student: You have always said that when I think the time is right, then I am free to choose.

Teacher: Yes, I did say that and will continue to say it to anyone who asks.

Ex-student: You have also said that my choice, if I so decide, need not to be bound by history or by any sense of gratitude to the past.

Teacher: Yes, this is a statement that I did make and will continue to make.

Ex-student: You have in addition said that to pursue the future I choose for myself must always be my priority.

Teacher: That is partly true.

Ex-student: What do you mean?

Teacher: I have always said that the future you freely choose must always be your priority provided you are confident that your anchor is strong enough to withstand the rough seas of the planned trip.

Ex-student: Yes, that is true, but when I asked you what that anchor should be, your response was that if I do not know what that anchor is, then I am not ready to make free choices.

Teacher: Yes, that was part of my reply.

Ex-student: What was the part I missed?

Teacher: I also said that you can only have one anchor at any one time, and once you let go of it for the sake of another, the discarded one cannot be retrieved.

Ex-student: Yes, I do recall you saying that. Is that the reason why you are punishing me because I freely chose to leave your school?

Teacher: Why do you say that I am punishing you?

Ex-student: I came to you for help in facing my new crisis, and you are unwilling to give me the necessary advice?

Teacher: How would I know what advice to give when the road you freely travelled on I am not familiar with and the choices you made while on that trip are alien to me?

Ex-student: But you have an obligation to help me.

Teacher: Why?

Ex-student: Because you taught me what I know, and when what you have taught me proved to be insufficient, you must then teach me more so that I can overcome the obstacle I am facing on the road I have chosen.

Teacher: From what you have just said, I conclude that you must have assumed that I am the anchor we were talking about earlier.

Ex-student: Yes, that is correct.

Teacher: Did I ever say to you that I was?

Ex-student: No.

Teacher: When you decided to freely choose the road you were to travel on, did I give you any directions or advice on the suitability of that road?

Ex-student: I did try to ask you.

Teacher: What was my reply when you attempted to explain your chosen path?

Ex-student: You said that it is my trip and if I think I am ready to make it, then no explanations to anyone are necessary.

Teacher: That was part of my answer.

Ex-student: I know! You also said that freedom of choice carries with it the burden of responsibility and that I should not expect others to share that burden with me once my choice is made.

Teacher: So why are you asking me to behave in a manner that contradicts what I taught you? Are you saying that you do not wish to be free anymore and you are once again seeking the security of mental slavery?

Ex-student: None of us have answers to everything. That is what you have always said.

Teacher: What I have always said is that I do not have answers to everything. There is a very big difference between the two statements.

Ex-students: Do you mean there are others who think they know all they need to know to enable them to address all eventualities?

Teacher: This is one of the questions that I have no answers to. The term others covers so many that it is beyond my comprehension to know what they know or don’t know.

Ex-student: You seem to give me the impression that being ignorant is a virtue.

Teacher: If I am being given the choice between ignorance and arrogance, I would choose the former any time.

Ex-student: Was I wrong to come back to you for support?

Teacher: You are always welcome to visit when you feel so inclined.

Ex-student: That was not my question!

Teacher: You can choose what to ask and I will choose how to answer. The illusion that because you ask a question then you are entitled to an answer is an addiction regrettably many suffer from.

Ex-student: If I was still your student and asked that question about the dilemma that is facing me in my chosen path, would you have answered?

Teacher: The issue would not arise since you at that point would have not made your choice and your questions will be those of a slave to his master and not a dialogue between two free people as we both are now.

Ex-student: Are you unwilling to help me solve my problem because you do not want to or because you do not know how to?

Teacher: Is the answer to that question important to you?

Ex-student: Yes.

Teacher: In that case I suggest you choose the answer that will make you feel the burden of freedom more intensely, and I will happily subscribe to the answer you have chosen.

Ex-student: I always thought you cared about your students!

Teacher: I am happy that you felt so when you were a student of mine.

Ex-student: I do not feel so now after you have let me down!

Teacher: You are now an ex-student and free to make your judgement call on any and all issues. I suggest you do not waste your time digging up emotions you felt in the past and re-evaluating them based on your current state.

Ex-student: Why not?

Teacher: Because you would be facing the world the wrong way round and you are bound to fall.

Ex-student: What do you mean?

Teacher: Life has a habit of always running forward because the collective brain of humanity is too creative and inventive for it to do otherwise. Unless you wish life to leave you behind, you really have no option but to run with it. If so, do you think it is wise for you to run forward with your body and mind facing backwards?

Ex-student: What happens if I decide not to run?

Teacher: To the world, nothing much will happen. As to you, I suppose you will be just another member of the yesterday club, camping in a graveyard, enjoying the sounds of echoes from the dead.

The Art of Being Important

Executive: But I have an appointment with him! I travelled to your country only for this meeting.

Secretary: As I said, sir, he is not in, and I do not know when he will come to the office.

Executive: Maybe your colleague who is sitting at the other side of this large reception area knows?

Secretary: She too is his secretary like I am. She also would not know.

Executive: So he has two secretaries and neither of them knows his appointment schedule or his arrival time into the office. Don’t you find that strange?

Secretary: We do not make judgements, sir. We only obey instructions.

Executive: What about that shabby-looking gentleman standing at the corner of the office there?

Secretary: He would not know either. His job is to carry the chairman’s briefcase when the chairman arrives to the front door. It gets handed to him by the chairman’s driver.

Executive: Fascinating. Does he have any other office? Maybe he is expecting me in a different office?

Secretary: This is his only office.

Executive: What do you think I should do?

Secretary: How desperate are you for this meeting to take place?

Executive: As desperate as you are to keep your job.

Secretary: If you are that desperate, then I suggest you wait for him.

Executive: Does he always come to the office on a daily basis?

Secretary: I am not authorised to answer such a question.

Executive: Why not?

Secretary: Security reasons.

Executive: What security reasons? He is the chairman of a company that exports fertilisers for God’s sake!

Secretary: Yes, but it is a nationalised company and he is appointed by the government.

Executive: But if he does not meet international suppliers or clients, how could he perform his duties?

Secretary: He does meet all those whom he wishes to meet and whom he has granted an appointment.

Executive: I will take your advice and wait for him. However, although this is a very large reception area, there does not seem to be any seating chairs for visitors!

Secretary: You are expected to wait in the adjacent office with the swinging doors.

Executive: That is where I came in first, but it was overcrowded with barely room to stand, let alone sit. I assumed it was some sort of public area for the unemployed!

Secretary: They are all waiting for our chairman.

Executive: Do they all have appointments today?

Secretary: I assume so. As I said, he schedules his own appointments.

Executive: But if my appointment is at 10 a.m. and your offices open at 9 a.m., how can he fit in so many people before me?

Secretary: All his appointments are at 10 a.m.

Executive: You must be joking. Do you mean each one of them is told to come at 10 a.m.?

Secretary: Yes.

Executive: On what basis will they be ushered in once he arrives and decides to meet people?

Secretary: He will hand me a list of names, and I will call those on the list into his offices in the order they appear on the list.

Executive: What do you mean offices? How many offices does he have?

Secretary: Well, there are seven offices in this section, all occupied by him. He moves from one office to the next so that he never has to wait for his visitor, but the latter is always waiting for him.

Executive: So you call us seven at a time?

Secretary: That is difficult to guess beforehand because sometimes he is also accompanied by some guests who are farmed out into some of his offices.

Executive: Don’t you find all this confusing and difficult to organise?

Secretary: Our chairman is a strong believer in chaos theory.

Executive: What does his other secretary do? When I first came in, I tried to talk to her because her desk is facing the door, but all she did was point me in your direction.

Secretary: That is her job.

Executive: I grant you that it is a big reception area, but I am sure that whoever comes through the door will easily spot you and come towards your desk without the need for her to point them in your direction!

Secretary: Ours is not to question why?

Executive: I am sorry to be so inquisitive, but I find this all amazing. I come from a different culture where all this would not make sense.

Secretary: Different people judge the same things by different criteria.

Executive: Surely, that does