Who Do You Think You Are?: Change Your Mind Change Your Life

By Shirley H. Wells

As we adapt to the complex world surrounding us, we are constantly bombarded with both negative and positive concepts about who we are supposed to be. The most negative messages of all come from within our own thought patterns which were programmed in our early years. Parents, siblings, teachers, family and friends all help to create our vision of who we are and who we may become. This book examines the harmful messages that our own inner voice contributes to our self doubt and fear about success, happiness and love. Most importantly, this book provides strategies to suppress that defeatist voice and points the way towards a more successful and happy life. If you have ever felt "not good enough", this book is for you.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499053869

Shirley H. Wells

Shirley H. Wells has a Bachelor of Science (B.S.) degree and a Master of Arts (M.A.) degree. She has been an English teacher, dean of students, assistant principal, principal, district coordinator, Director of Alternative Education and Director of Court Schools Programs. She has also been a lecturer in several colleges. She was a field representative for the U.S. Department of Justice with the National School Safety Center. She has also been a consultant and trainer for the California State Department of Education, probation and police departments, school districts and county offices of education. She has made numerous presentations on juvenile delinquency, discipline, prevention , intervention and business-education partnerships. Ms. Ruge-Levine received commendations from the California governor's office, the California legislature, boards of supervisors, school boards and the California Department of Education. She is co-author of two articles on drug education in professional publications. She is retired, married and the mother of three children.

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Copyright © 2014 by Shirley H. Wells.

Library of Congress Control Number:    2014913475

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted

in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,

without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the

product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance

to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/25/2014

Xlibris LLC

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www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Chapter 1 Self Inflicted Damage

Chapter 2 Fallacies About Beauty

Chapter 3 Intelligence Is Overvalued

Chapter 4 The Worship Of Wealth

Chapter 5 We Are Our Own Worst Enemies

Chapter 6 Voices From The Past

Chapter 7 Lies You Tell Yourself

Chapter 8 Releasing Fear

Chapter 9 Finding Happiness

Chapter 10 Strategies For Stilling Your Voice Of Doubt

With love and gratitude to Cora Abigail Carrington.

Aunt Cora lighted the way for countless children, including me.

Acknowledgments

Thank you to George Levine, my editor, collaborator, and best friend who believes in me and this book. His support and laughter have brightened my life. To Fred Ruge, who helped guide my journey through life and whose generosity and kindness is a model for me and his family. Without these two loving men, I could never have changed my mind.

Prologue

Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.–

—George Bernard Shaw

Who do you think you are? This question is usually asked in outrageous tones. Someone has crossed a line, someone has broken rules, someone has challenged leadership and authority. Someone is in trouble. When asked this question in this manner, there is no expectation of a response or answer. This is more often a demand for an abject apology—an admittance of guilt.

The question I pose—Who do you think you are?—has a different context and a different emphasis. The emphasis is on the first you—"Who do you think you are?" The question demands that you look at the thought patterns you have developed over a lifetime—thought patterns which are often counterproductive and destructive to what every individual most yearns for—acceptance of oneself, peace of mind, and happiness.

We seek out answers from trusted mentors, from counselors, from psychologists and psychiatrists, even experts on daytime TV shows. In bewilderment, we ask ourselves, Why did I say that? Why did I do that? What’s wrong with me? Unfortunately, we usually cannot find the answers to those questions, so we hate ourselves for our transgressions, our deficiencies, and our imperfections. We are embarrassed and ashamed and try to hide these faults because we do not want the world to know what we perceive as the real us.

All of this confusion and self-flagellation takes place in the mind, in our own thoughts. They emanate from some deeply critical place, and they cause havoc in our lives. Our brains are incredibly complex and mysterious. One brain researcher said that the brain was the last great unexplored frontier. Scientists are still trying to map this incredibly complex organ. We do know that the mind can register and learn difficult data, can solve abstract problems, and create ever-more wondrous inventions and artworks. What is still a mystery is the mind’s capacity to sometimes mirror bleak, dark, and destructive thoughts and ideas, as well as brilliant ideas and beautiful images. Why did these oppositional thought patterns develop?

I do not pretend to have the answers, but I do have insights based on years of working with populations of young people whose behaviors have caused them to be labeled failures, troublemakers, delinquents, and criminals. I have witnessed as many of those youth broke free of the stereotypes, broke free of their past, and forged a new and better future. They refused to let the old thought patterns dominate their present life. This book is a reminder that you, the reader, can also reforge your idea of who you really are.

Over the course of my forty-five years in the field of education, I had the opportunity to serve as teacher, counselor, principal, and director of special programs. I worked primarily with high-risk, at-risk, and special education students of all ages. They were assigned to my programs due to their disruptive behavior, aggressive tendencies, drug addiction, or were members of gangs. Many were severely emotionally disturbed (SED), mentally disturbed, or had serious criminal records. Many were serving prison sentences. The law, nonetheless, stipulated that each of these students be educated.

I worked closely with these often angry, failure-prone, and hostile students and came to realize that my greatest challenge was not to teach academics to these young people who were filled with

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eight hilarious stories, and nine unforgettable parodies