The Secret Diary of Hidden Lusts and Desires

By Jennifer G. Giuliano

I wrote this book for you, and I wrote this book for me
I wrote this book from passion, it is what I feel I need
I wrote this book to inspire your many hidden desires
I wrote this book to give someone something to admire
I wrote this book on love and how I believe it should feel
I wrote this book about heartaches because they are so cruelly real
I wrote this book about being broken since it's how I feel every day
I put my emotions into words to help some pain and anger go away
I wrote this book about sex because it satisfies my hunger
It keeps my mind flowing wild and my heart growing younger
I wrote this book about hidden lusts to remind myself of the fire that I have been blessed with to eagerly share and inspire
I wrote this book for you, darling, I wrote this book for me
I wrote this book for the many others
Who are full of heartaches but still try to love
Darling, I wrote this book for the broken ones, just like you and me

JGG

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781514432297

Jennifer G. Giuliano

I'm just a simple girl trying to live a simple life, Reaching out to many others with similar pain and strife What I have experienced in my life, I would never take it back Although it hurts tremendously giving away everything And receiving not even a fraction of it back I am a hopeless romantic, I fear I fall into love too fast I guess I'm searching for something to fill The gaping void within me from my past I search for the same love in others that I can't find in myself I find for many endless nights, I am hurt, left empty, and without The relationships that I have encountered, they have changed the person I was born to be But I will forever wear my heart on my sleeve and forgive others because that’s me For those many times, I was wrapped up in someone else’s arms I feel they took a piece of me with them when they decided to leave and carry on But still I try to manage to keep loving just as hard as before In hope that someone will answer my call whenever I knock on their hearts’ door I have been writing for many years, I've just kept my memories in a diary It took a lot of strength and courage to share with you This secret diary of what's going on Inside the depths me. —JGG

Book preview

Copyright © 2015 by Jennifer. G. Giuliano.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5144-3230-3

                eBook         978-1-5144-3229-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 12/10/2015

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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Contents

Motherly love

Free verse

Second language

Read you

Believe

I’ll be there

I dreamed of love

Love in the sand

Tell me

Sit with me

Cry for help

Existence of love

Emblem

Last meal

Last pose

Love with eez

Love sees no color

From above

The first love letter

I miss you…

The Second Love letter

Loving

In my mind

Gypsy

Entity of love

Souls Entwined.

Lethal Dose

Princess Diaries

Conquer and divide

The truth is

Take my hand

Tell me why

Hold me

I love you

When I close my eyes

To My Best Friend

Military love

What’s next?

What is love?

Romance

Ode to the lover

What are you waiting for?

You

You are

Angel of darkness

Vampiress

Weak

For you

Dreams

Perfect

Why I write

Endlessly

Collision

Promise

Just One

Seeds

Poetic Love

Evening thoughts

The One

Your Lover and your friend

Flawless Bond

To be in love

Can I Be The One

Poetically in love

Will you?

Plea to you

Surroundings

Fairy tales

Oceans of pain

Heartbreak

Consumed by fear.

Fading away

I lied

The Night

The Break Up

Last Goodbye

The best thing you had

I don’t know why

I know

Russian Roulette

Regret

Have you

First time

Frantic emotions

History Repeats

Last smile

At Last

Why

Her story

Emotions in a panic

Last rain

Last tattoo

Last dream…

Last dream part II

Last prayer

Last drink

Repainting

Secrets Out

Beautiful disaster

Destructive Story

The Switch

Vodka and Tears

Letter To Self

Betrayal

Repercussions

Not the first time

Forbidden Fruit

Don’t stay

Sitting here

Just me

Lover’s Cuffs

One day

Lonely Nights

Masquerade

Life of Cards

Love Magic

Love Spell

Your magic

What if we were?

My thoughts

Life decisions

Within

Realization

Trapped

Dying inside

Missing Piece

Leaves of all colors

Alone

Contract with the Devil

Mask

Hurt

A dream

Blood Debt For Depravity

Attention seeker

Caught up

Pain of your love

Replacement

Asylum of love

Awake

Do you know?

Speaking out

Nice and Slow

You reached out

Hypothesis

Killing me slowly

Hiding in the dark

Misled

Blank picture

Inked

Romance

Fading into a blur

Love is Unfair

Love affair

Pledge of love

Clean Slate

Illusion of love

The Truth Hurts

Confessions of a broken heart

Gone forever

Fresh start

Reflection

Never be the same

Remnants

One in the same

Hears to being you

Torn

Ode to you

Once Upon A Time

Black Hole

End Is Near

Rain

Choice

Gentle

Cracked Open

Orgasmic

Lovingly beat me

Possession.

Mommy Issues.

Ropes

Questions

Sweet pillow talk

Sir

Love slut

Encounters

Dominate leader

Desires to lust

Mine

Kitten

Raining

Intoxicating feeling

You belong to me

Mistress

She learned

Stained lips

Left on her lips

Asphyxiation

Last person

Erotica

Tantalizing feeling

Reverse cowgirl…

Erotic Three-way

Kinky

Noticing me

Erotic words

Sexy phone call

Lovemaking

Charmed

Playing house

Dirty thoughts

What’s your kink

Just how it goes

Kiss

Sin

Touching My Sex

In my mouth

Sexual surprise

Confession

My Lover My Master

Stripper Tales

Stripper tales 2

Dominance

Like I want to

Frisky Friday

Dirty thoughts

D.U.I

Rough sex

Desire

Forbidden

Pleasure

Taking the stage

Mind Blown

Craving

Then We Made Love

Tasting

Sex Pet

Awaiting

Erotic Memoirs

Ride

Heartbeat

Consumption

Blaze

Oxygen

Exploding light

Know the poet

Why

Untitled

Life to and end

Maybe

Empowerment

Scarab

One last smile

Demons play

Last thank you

Vanity

Last dance

Sparks

In love with a poet

Love is

I loved

Diamanté poem

The Demons

The storm

I’m sorry

Miss Karma

Dark voices

Suicide

Rebellious

Read you

Here’s to yoga!

This night

Special place

Broken

Catacombs

Toxic touch

Devils agreement

The Wind

Illuminate

Again

Last time

Lie

Na Pas Sta Tartara!!

Tranquillity

Her death in his strength

Façade

Ravish

Doomed

Hurt

Bones

Beast

Secrets

Last hello

Last compliment

Empty

Heartbeat

Last chance

Change

Hurricane

Writing To Set Myself Free

Voices in the Storm

Promise land

Reborn

New life

Let’s talk

Serenity

Absence

Let it be

Strength

Growing

Hell

Scarabs

Construction

Lessons

Reflection

What it seems

May love be fair

Lesson from love

Profession and Poison

Wreckage

Honoring stones

Overdramatic

Garden

Waiting

Pledge of love

You were

Stay

Metaphor of a broken heart

Parting

Travel

Leaving

Bare

Ramblings

Rise

Moon

Existence

Diminishing Love

She loved

What are you

Speed of love

From lifeless to life

The love and romance collection

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Motherly love

The happiest moment in my life was when they placed you in my arms,

I knew from that day I would sacrifice my life to keep you safe from harm.

Even in the hospital bed I wouldn’t put you down,

Nurses telling me that it wasn’t safe.

I was so tired I could drop you on the ground

That whole night I didn’t even sleep, I just stayed up and watched you breathe, and listened to your tiny heart beat

Few more hours past, I was able to take you home, into our first apartment that I called our very own.

Then even still I couldn’t put you in your bed.

You stayed up with me in mine, as I softly patted your little blonde head.

Months went on, you grew up so fast,

Before I knew it, you outgrew your baby blue bath.

Your eyes so big, and ever so wide

So heavenly bright blue, as when the ocean reflects from the sky.

Your ringlet curly hair, and your ever so perfect skin

That cutest little smile so bright, as you shined from within.

Before I knew it you were crawling around.

Laughing and cooing make all those precious baby sounds.

Your first word was mama, and I will always remember,

The joy that melted my heart like the beaming sun in December

Now look at you growing up, my lucky number seven

Every day I pray, thanking the lord in the high heavens

That I have you in my life, I will forever stay by your side

Walking with you as you grow, together we will conquer and divide.

Any obstacles that stand in your way, I will even sell my soul to banish them away

A beautiful thing it is, when I get to see you smile and hear you laugh

I know that no matter how bad I feel my life is going,

With you I am on the right path

I will walk along beside you as you continue to grow.

And I promise to never even go one day, not telling you my son.

How much I love you so

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Free verse

When I see you it makes me smile.

The sound of your voice serenades my ears.

I’m afraid I’m falling for you way too fast.

But it’s something I don’t have control over.

You told me to be me, to let go of all the hurt and pain.

Just be real and honest with you.

Is all you want, and we will be fine you said.

I used to be able to control this switch, with the ability to turn my emotions on and off.

But with you, it’s a tidal wave at full force,

The winds just keep it going.

I hope you are falling for me just the same,

And our storms will just collide

After it’s all said and done, you will be right there with me

Peacefully beautiful,

Like the subtle calm after the storm

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Second language

Chi cello che cia

When he talks about my ass, he gets me flying high

Never in a million years,

I thought I could find my perfect guy.

What a way with words, he just brings me to my knees.

Not caring what he is saying, just begging for more, please.

Si per sempre amore…

His words make my panties hit the floor

Pure io con tutto il mio cuore…

My body is wanting to feel more and more

His lips on mine, so delicate and warm

Speaking these sweet words, and breathing softly on my skin

This feeling of euphoria arises deep within.

Heating my thighs, feeling the hair on my skin rise.

It’s something in the way his lips move in sync

When he speaks his second language, expressing to me what he thinks.

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Read you

Still I try to read you.

This story of your life.

But I’m stuck on chapter one,

with all your pain and strife.

I tried to skip some pages.

And for that I’m truly sorry.

I would rather take my time with you,

and be the happy ending to your heartfelt story…

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Believe

I need to believe in something, that’s going to better myself.

I choose to believe in us, without any second doubt

I know it has been hard, and I know it’s been tough.

But all this love we share, it will be more than enough.

I know in this world of people, they will try and keep us apart.

Considering when we started, we were off to a rocky start.

There’s something about you, though.

When you hold me so near.

With just those few sweet moments of bliss, I can erase all my hurt and fear.

My deepest worry, though, can be my biggest mistake.

But if we hold onto who we are, we truly can be something great.

I know we have a lot of work, and I hope that you will stay.

But no matter what happens, in my heart you will forever stay.

For today and tomorrow, maybe the rest of my life

In the back of my mind, I’ll hold on, to the image of how it would be,

To be your perfect dream wife.

And I will stay strong, for what we can be.

Just open your mind and your heart,

choose forever, to stand beside me.

Through the ups and downs through thick and thins.

Don’t ever let go, of the love we share within.

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I’ll be there

When you think you are losing, and you just don’t care.

You can count on me, I will always be there.

To make you smile when you’re stuck with a frown.

When your worlds crumbling around you, and the walls are falling down.

Just call on me, your little glimmer of light.

Count on me to take you, from the darkness to light.

Take all your burdens, lay them across my tiny shoulders.

Give me all your hurt and failures which make you grow much colder.

I will lift them up higher, then the stars in the sky.

Because you my dear love, are the one for the rest of my life.

41883.png

I dreamed of love

Once upon a time I dreamed of love

That gooey, mushy, sappy kind of love

And then, as I experienced life, I find myself pondering over and over again

About this gooey, mushy, sappy, kind of love

Who wants that love anyway, because that kind of love wears off.

You get comfortable and it gets boring…

Then you’re stuck looking for that new excitement.

And that’s where things get crazy and people start to get hurt.

I want that passionate, lusting, craving, cold-hearted love.

That you are mine and I am yours, kind of love.

Then kind of love were your partner gets territorial when someone looks at you.

When you keep things interesting, always learning about the other…

What is their dirty little secrets, the things both don’t even want to admit to themselves

This new found love I ponder about over and over ...

Maybe that’s the real deal.

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Love in the sand

I wanted to write our names in the sand,

But my oceans of tears would wash it away.

Instead, I’ll write it in my heart,

Because inside there

I know you will forever stay.

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Tell me

Tell me again how you want to see my last shards of clothing fall to the floor

And how my hurt and pain leaves you craving for more

Tell me why you choose me, to be your tarnished lucky token

And how my words full of expression and pain, leave you left unspoken

Tell me why you love me

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Sit with me

Place your head on my shoulder.

Tell me about makes your beautiful soul so bothered

Oh won’t you, please

Share about you and your pain, comfort flows better when it goes both ways

It is always better when two beings, share something one in the same

Tell me why you’re broken

Why you want to make me your tarnished lucky token

How come you like to see me shy and pulling away

Thoughts of this answer plague my mind for days.

Speak to me more about my last shards of clothing

And how you want to see them fall to the floor

My wrists are bleeding, my heart is so sore.

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Cry for help

Help me.

What causes this emptiness I feel

As I agonizingly kneel

This void is so deep

Let me be the one,

You always want to keep

I feel alone every day

And the worst thing

I pretend to smile

So people think I’m ok

I need to be one way in front of people.

Hiding how I really feel

But some days I can’t help it,

The emptiness is real.

Then I found you…

You unclipped my dark hair and it fell down around my face.

You took my arms around you, entangled and embraced

Tell my why you can never let me go

Tell me all this once again.

While you brush my hair from my face, and hold me so close.

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Existence of love

What is love beyond the word?

Is it the color of your lips?

Which grace your mouth that hides painful words you have spoken?

Is it your beautiful darkened honey brown eyes?

That have pierced me with hurt in so many deceitful ways

Is it your hands when they caress my body?

As you touched my face but got beneath my skin,

Close to my heart then ripped it out many times over again

With you this is the existence of the love I’ve known…

41907.png

Emblem

And with whatever pieces I have left even broken and small…

I will fit them together in one piece,

And adorn you with an emblem of my undying love

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Last meal

As a kneel before you a condemned prisoner of your love

Your hand takes mine, this will be the last time

For you left me for thoughts and feelings unknown…

I cry and think of a way to never have us be separated

An offering of two vials is all I have for you.

One for me, and one for you

Sweat from our first time

Tears from our first cry and the blood that’s once coursed our veins

All these emotions we both have felt I have used to fill them

And to seal the mixture a kiss of pain

For my last meal as a prisoner of your love

I wish to share these with you.

Agreed the lovers take the vials to their lips and drink together…

And they fall…

The vial’s