Enigma

By Ban Lahham

Enigma is a collection of poetry and prose that arose from the journey of self-exploration. Honest and raw, it contains the events that transformed pain into words, Engima is about the words we leave unsaid. It explores love, pain, disappointment, fear, heartbreak, and most importantly, growth. In your hands, lays the mind, heart, and soul, spilled into ink. In a world that tells you not to talk and feel, Enigma tells you to.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sail Publishing LLC
• Release date: Sep 3, 2020
• ISBN: 9781839781018

Book preview

Enigma

Ban Lahham

Published by Sail Publishing L.L.C.

First published in 2020

Copyright © 2020 by Sail Publishing L.L.C.

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Cover design by Aalaa AlBastaki

ISBN: 978-9948-34-755-2

UAE National Media Council Permit #: MC-02-01-1276592

Age Classification: 17+

The age classification for this book’s contents is set in accordance with the age classification system issued by the UAE’s National Media Council.

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Dedication

To my parents, George and Asma, and my siblings Jude and Farah;

for being the strongest I've ever seen.

To anyone who has ever felt out of place,

may you receive what you seek.

Whoever you are,

This is for you

I have never been one to hide my story

Never been the one to hide my fears, my doubts, my strengths, my weaknesses, or my journey

I welcome you,

To the life that was never mine to keep

To the secrets

To the memories

To the scars

To the pain

The growth

Welcome,

To all the things I never said

You did not hurt me, not until I wrote about you.

You did not break me, not until I wrote about you.

You’re not dead to me, not until I wrote about you.

Who are you?

My Mother shrieks as the tears fall down her face.

She shrieks as she wipes away the tears off of my face.

Who are you?

And what have you become?

My name is Ban.

As a verb I legally or officially prohibit something.

But as a noun, I am a curse.

I am the sun.

I will light your day,

but you cannot get too close.

I am the ocean.

I am beautiful.

but I will drown you with my never-ending thoughts.

I am the air.

I am the oxygen.

You so easily breathe.

You cannot see me.

You cannot touch me.

But you can feel me.

I am everywhere you go.

I am the destructive wind that washes everything in its way toward its destination.

I am your earth.

I give and I give but I never get.

I am fire, I will burn you.

I am fire.

I will grow when I do.

As humans,

We’re prone to neglect.

We often forget,

That our biggest blessing

Is having something to lose.

Do not fool yourself.

As writers,

We pick our tragedies.

They say long hair

Is a woman’s finest characteristic.

So, I cut it.

I will not accept being told that the best part about me is anything but my soul.

No one tells you

That the worst kind of pain

Is disappointment.

When we first met, you said I shifted the vibe in the room.

You said my smile brought joy to ones in distress.

You said the innocence in my eyes kept you awake just at the thought of it.

That my depth triggered your every numb emotion you full-heartedly fought.

That the way I write made you stop to catch your breath.

You said that the way I mispronounced three made you shiver.

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