I Still Wear Jeans

By Saisie Craig

This is a story about the magic of acceptance, renewal and friendship. Finding an open door and stepping onto a path away from what you have been conditioned to believe. To give yourself permission to find yourself, cleanse yourself of inner demons keeping you in a place of self-doubt and self-deprecation.

Open that door, open your eyes, open your heart to the joy you will feel; the courage you will find in yourself and find that sparkle again that has eluded you or been tucked away due to circumstances, people in your lives or choices youve made. Once you open that door, the wonderful gifts and possibilities that flood in, are endless.

This is my journey, my cleansing, myself, I found after a month in Nepal, a place I call Heaven, with a group of wonderful people I knew and those I met along the way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Jul 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781504309318

Saisie Craig

Being a wife and a mother, I gave up work to care for my family, which was a joy but when all left ‘the nest’, there was a huge empty space that I couldn’t remember how to fill. I realised there was something missing from my life – myself, and what makes me feel alive. I have always loved travel, back packed around Europe in my early twenties and love a good adventure. Joining a close friend on the trip of a life time in Nepal, opened the door to wonderful new opportunities, many of which I thought I would never see or feel again; writing was one such opportunity. I decided to write about my journey of self-renewal, with the hope it will help others to never give up on themselves or their life.

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Copyright © 2017 Saisie Craig.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5043-0930-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5043-0931-8 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date:    06/29/2017

Contents

Dedication

Introduction

Part One

The Journey Away From My Soul

Building Blocks.

To Be or Not to Be

Normality

Another city. Another Country.

Part Two

The Journey Back To My Soul

Let Go and Have a Go.

The Beginning of My New Dawn

The Gift of Friendship

Meditation and Cleansing of the Soul.

Accepting Simplicity Warts and All.

A Destination Can Mean Many Things.

Part Three

The Light within My Soul.

The Threads That Can’t Be Broken.

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to my three children, who have always stood beside me, are my rocks and have always just shown me love. I only hope I can repay them with all my love.

I also want to thank all my friends old and new and my sisters who have lent me their ears and given me their shoulders for support, I have so much to be grateful to them for.

To a special group of people, I was blessed to spend a month with in Nepal who showed me the ‘light’, who made me laugh every day and who made me feel ten-foot-tall; they are just the nicest people I was so lucky to share my path with and I cannot thank them enough.

To the tall dark stranger who looked into my eyes and made my heart melt and made me feel so beautiful, you will never know the effect you had on me.

To the beautiful country of Nepal, its people, our Sherpas and our guides, you have such a depth of warmth and such a gift of kindness we don’t see much of in our society.

Thank you xx

Introduction

It was very dark when our alarm sounded, we were all awake anyway as we slowly emerged from our beds, dressed, and packed our toiletries, locked our duffel bags then went down to reception to meet up with our group. By the time we reached the airport in Kathmandu, groups were beginning to assemble in the queue into the departure area to then board our designated flights through the valley to Lukla airstrip way up high in the mountains, perched on top of a cliff face. This was it, the beginning of our adventure and we were all very excited at what lay ahead for us.

I wanted to write this book to show how such a small amount of time in the whole scheme of things, a month, can help to change one’s outlook on life or bring back a buried feeling or part of your character that may have been tucked away for any number of reasons and the joy of rediscovering this feeling, no matter at what age it might be. The magic it releases into your soul is wonderful and the revelation that all is not lost or over is like being reborn and wanting your spirit to fly again.

It is not written for any self-serving reason or to tell the world about myself, far from it. For this reason, I have not included any names as I am not in the business of hurting people or seeking revenge or the limelight. It is a story that wanted to be told, a story about a woman who has made many decisions throughout her life, some good, some bad, some that will affect other’s lives in a positive or negative way. It is the story of a woman who gave up much of her life for another and lost the very soul of her being and decided that this was the way life was and that was the way it had to be played out. A story about a woman who as a child and teenager had many dreams and looked towards the horizon, always believing something or someone special waited for her and one day she would find it but due to circumstances let life place her into a box and all those dreams became null and void and her confidence began to slowly erode away with time and the tears in her eyes became reminders that all was not right with her world. The positive times and people in her life were wonderful and kept her belief that there were little corners in the world that were safe and loving but she had made choices and she wasn’t one to shirk her responsibilities or be disloyal to those she had chosen to share her life with.

One day I received an email from a close friend I had known since school days. A special birthday was looming and she thought what better way to celebrate it than by celebrating it together in the beautiful country of Nepal with a group of her friends who she held in high esteem. I was suddenly filled with excitement; excitement of being included in this adventure and excitement of sharing it with my dear friend. So, I can say that as I prepared for this trip into a place far away from me and my thoughts, a place I never expected to visit even if it did ever cross my mind, I was suddenly filled with renewed vigour and couldn’t wait for the experience to vaporise and be real.

As the book reveals some of the ups and downs in my early life to present day, to outline and give you an idea about my character and how many things in life can alter or affect the very essence of your being and either destroy you, if you let it, or make you stronger, if you let it, to how just a moment in time is sometimes all you need to look into yourself and your life and realise there is still hope, there is still a soul in you that can feel life’s magic. If you are willing to cut the ropes that bind you to a life of negativity and low self-esteem, there is a wonderful path ahead for you to follow and that feeling of freedom that engulfs you is so strengthening to the spirit and so exciting to look forward to. Let in those people who smile and are genuine and don’t let the opportunity to see life sparkle, just fade away. The view ahead is well worth exploring and the experience, and people you do let in, absolutely beautiful.

I hope you enjoy my journey and I hope whatever your journey in life is and whoever you let into your life, you truly have an amazing and memorable experience and love. Look forward; look beyond what is in front of you and don’t be afraid to let life in. I was and it took just a few lovely and loving people to make me see the joy life can give you if you don’t look down and away from who you really are and soak up each magical moment you are so