The Long and Short of It: A Journey of Self Discovery and Reflection

By Treasure I. Moore

A personal memoir sharing life experiences and lessons learned aimed to encourage and motivate its readers, drawing on the importance of keeping a personal journal of our own debits and credits for the purposes of acknowledgement, inner reconciliation, and true growth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781496973375

Treasure I. Moore

Treasure I. Moore was born and raised in Florida, where she also went on to graduate from Florida A&M University. She is the proud aunt of seventeen nieces and nephews and currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina.

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© 2015 Treasure I. Moore. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/02/2015

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7338-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-7337-5 (e)

Print information available on the last page.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Preface

1

Depression Highway

2

Father, May I

3

RUN

4

X Factor

5

Alternative Lifestyles

6

Chessnuts Roasting

7

Hidden Messages Hid in Communication

8

Lonely Guilt

9

Beyond the Basics

10

Coexisting

11

Beyond the Fear

12

Diane

13

On the brink

14

Ensuing Years

15

Classic Overachiever

16

It isn’t about fair

17

Womanly

18

This right hair

To my family and friends who applauded my successes and, yet were patient and still, not adding fuel to the fire I found myself in as a consequence of poor decisions.

Also, to the future that I learn to look forward to and celebrate.

The decision to publicly share my thoughts is motivated by a desire to no longer feel misunderstood. It is in taking my story out from beyond the limits of personal thoughts and journals to a published work that I believe I will truly discover my place in the world.

Along the way I’ve started many memoirs and yet now, finally, I find the focus and commitment to complete this journey.

Preface

Very few of us have had perfect or ideal lives and upbringings. It’s so easy and tempting to be preoccupied with self-definitions that involve past traumas as explanations for why our lives are not as we wish.

One thing is for certain, however, and that is getting into the habit of relishing in past disappointments precludes change. As for me, somewhere between getting over my past and wallowing in it has been a place where I began to learn and to recover from those events that adversely impacted my life.

A good friend recently characterized some of my choices and actions as self-destructive. To the contrary, I believe my issues are more reflective of attempts to resort to running [away] before I’d really mastered walking, figuratively speaking.

Learning to walk is never void of trips, falls and stumbles. And although we all have different support systems and guideposts, I’m gradually understanding what is required of me to move beyond my own missteps and embrace the understanding that in spite of it all, I still can still thrive and live fruitfully.

1

Depression Highway

A long stretch of fast moving highway with reclusive, tricky exits.

My first trip along depression highway lasted about three or four years. I’d say the excessive length of time was mainly due to the fact that it was my first experience. It’s not difficult to become lost for a longer period of time when you first encounter depression, given that the state of mind is utterly confusing, as it is such an obscure and remote area in life.

It was long after my first trip that I began to realize how susceptible I’d become to gravitating back toward this stretch of road. My brain now seemed to have some sort of slippage or weakness that made me more prone to revisiting this state of mind. I began to take note that this disposition and lowliness would mostly happen when something major didn’t go my way or whenever there was a sense of failure, despair or overwhelming loneliness.

All the approaching scenery has become very familiar over the years and like many things I’ve learned how to cope and adjust. Simply being productive, making conscious and actual physical movements seemed to be enough to thwart off the lure. I found it was important to counter the temptation until it slipped away, ultimately disappearing just as it had attempted to creep in.

My first bout with depression was a direct result of leaving a very lucrative and promising career as a trust portfolio manager to open a retail clothing store with what I characterize as an opportunistic boyfriend. These were a set of choices that warranted an almost immediate direct pass, do not pass go, go directly to ‘Depression Highway’ experience.

The ill guided, insecure control freak and pig was essentially