Immortal

By Carlos L. Campaña III

Immortal is a young man’s journey from boyhood to manhood and his attempt to find his place in a world he has not yet come to understand. He has to confront the stark reality of life head first, and this is his experience as shared from the depths of his heart. All young people find themselves looking at the world around them and trying to understand it, and this is a young man’s record of his journey expressed with love, vulnerability, humility, and hope. It was written not only for his own reflection but also for insight for generations to come.

To see the world is to see oneself. With engaging vignettes spanning confessional and poeting to travel-writing styel, Carlos Campana invites the reader to ride the current of perspectives woven into a captivating self-portrait.
I'm in full cheerleader mode for your variation of lenses between entries...it reads in many places as brush strokes carefully selected for a blank palette, as if someone would select their attire based on the weather.
Your abstract language paired with journaling-meets-stream of conscious is very effective, and your weilding of rich imagery really shines, for example, in the travel piece dated Nov. 2013.

Preliminary praise for now! Congratulations on this triumph!

-Nicollete Costantino, M.A.
Associate Professor of English and Eyrie Art & Literary

Dealing with the angst of maturation seems inescapable. Instead of escape however, Mr. Campana runs full speed into the melee, with an open mind and an open heart. He pushes past curiosity into pursuit, riding on the current of Divine purpose and personal discovery. In this work, he asks tough questions with ambition and an admixture of humility, seeking wise counsel from great minds. Musing on thinkers from Emerson thru Marley, all the way to Jesus, Carlos has produced a captivating work about Life, Love and finding One's way.

-Kermit Harrison, Professor of Philosophy

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 21, 2018
• ISBN: 9781982209209

Carlos L. Campaña III

Carlos Campana III was born in Plantation, FL and spent his childhood in the Ft. Lauderdale area and his teenage years in West Palm Beach, FL. He attended Alexander W. Dreyfoos Jr. School of the Arts for high school where he was taught in the areas of creative writing, filmmaking, and photography. He recently graduated from Florida State University with a Bachelor's degree in Philosophy and is currently writing, and pursuing a career in production. Immortal is his first book and he hopes that through this book and his other writing that he will be able to have a positive impact on the world for future generations.

Book preview

Special Thanks

My Parents, Lizka Pineda and Carlos Campana, and my sister, Yesenia Campana for always believing in me and supporting me.

One of my Best Friends, Dominic Anaya, and his loving and giving mother Maria Anaya, who opened their home to me when I first moved back to South Florida. I will forever be grateful.

The woman who stood by and supported me through good times and bad, Felicia Perez. Thank you for being who you are, and for standing by me. I will always love and appreciate you.

A great mentor and friend, Patrick Friderich, who went above and beyond to educate me, and to mentor me in business and in life.

Laura Malkin-Stuart and Juan Plotnicoff, for believing in me enough to hire me, for all of the opportunities you presented to me that I wouldn’t have otherwise had, and for treating me like your own son. Thank you.

All of my Friends and Family who love and support me, and who encouraged me to keep writing. I have no words to adequately express my love and appreciation for all of you.

The teachers and professors who inspired me to learn and to reach for the education I desire, thank you. It was your efforts that inspired me to seek a higher education and to one day become an instructor myself.

Dr. Cheryl Jennings, who took time aside to read some of my writing after just one conversation, and for believing in me and supporting me enough to help me with the publication of my first book. I am so grateful for your support and to have found such a valuable friend and mentor in you.

Note:

To my baby brother Jonah, and to my niece on the way. I hope one day, when you reach the age I was when I started writing this, that this book can be a pillar of support for you as you transition from teenagers into adults. I love you both, and look forward to being an example and a role model in both of your lives.

I.

When I look up, the Divine light of Providence shines on my face and warms my cheeks. I close my eyes and allow it to encompass me, and I feel peace in my heart.

Thoughts: July 22nd, 2011 7:47pm

I want to breakthrough. I want to breakthrough my fear. Something about being a great leader, someone with the power to change the world and make a difference in the lives of people all over the world, really, really scares me. I want to grow up, be self-sufficient, and be responsible. I’m tired of being a kid inside. A little boy afraid of life. I want to be a responsible, successful, young adult. SUCCESSFUL. That word rings in my mind the most. I keep picturing myself walking forward quickly, determination on my face. I see myself as unstoppable. But that’s the responsible and successful young adult I wish to be. That Carlos seems to be out of reach. I know, and have known my whole life, that God has such a huge plan for me and my life. I’m MEANT to be a leader. There are no options to be anything otherwise. God has put his eyes, as well as his hands over me. I’m afraid of failing Him, my parents, my family, my girlfriend, and her family. But most importantly myself. I hate feeling unaccomplished. It makes me feel worthless when I don’t come through. The kicker is that I WANT, to come through. I want to be my word 100% of the time. I often feel a lot of pressure. I end up feeling overwhelmed, like I just can’t do it. I feel pressure from the people involved in my leadership program, my parents, and mostly from myself.

Just DO IT Carlos… But I hold back. I stop short. I feel myself do it and before I can interrupt it and step up, I begin to doubt myself and fall backwards into the demons of my doubt. If I step backwards too close, they begin to tug at my clothes until they can grasp my skin, my hands, my wrists, I feel arms reach across my stomach and chest and begin to pull me backwards into the massive pool of doubt demons. Sometimes I begin to the fight the doubts, the demons, and begin to pull away. Their iron grips begin to loosen around me and I take a few steps forward. I get a spark of hope and then something just slams into me sending me flying back into the arms of the gentle demons. They’re kind to me. They want me to stay with them forever. They try to make being there as comfortable as possible. Stay here Carlos. Stay with us. It’s safe here. You’ll be safe here… The scary part is that they’re right. It is safe there in that large cushion of doubt. I am always welcome and never need an invitation. I can go there whenever I like, and I am always, ALWAYS, greeted with open, welcoming arms.

They’re beautiful beings. They’re all red, and they move so gracefully. They know just how to appeal to me. Just how to get me back. Sometimes, when I begin to break away, they begin to grunt and growl. They make the scariest, most disgusting noises. Ironically, as comfortable as I am there with them, when I break away from them, I feel much better, as a matter of fact, I feel best. I love that feeling, knowing that I conquered them, and I go into life with that determination head on! Then it happens again. I’m faced with challenges. I feel incapable of the tasks, and I step back… I look back… and I see their beautiful faces, and fascinating movements. Tempting me, calling me back. I forget how terrifying they can be, and am mesmerized by their call. It’s safe here Carlos… We’ll always keep you safe… They speak truth. They never treat me badly. Though they don’t lie, they don’t reveal a truth. THE truth. A truth I discovered on my own, outside of their grasp. The truth that their safety, the comfort they provided was very real, but it keeps from my dreams and my goals. It keeps me from the life I want to create for myself. My dreams, my goals, my aspirations are ALL out of reach when I’m there. Lying safely and comfortably in the arms of the Doubt Demons.

Thoughts: September 23rd, 2011

Wow it’s been a month and 21 days since I last wrote in here. I’m the happiest I’ve been since I started college. I like all my professors, and communicate well with them. I have fun with my friends, although I miss my family, I enjoy the independence, and Felicia and I get stronger in our love and our relationship every single day. Although I have to make time to really clean my room and get it back to how it was, start working, and get tutoring for math, I feel really happy. My faith and connection with God are stronger than ever since I’ve been here at college. I love being a college student and receiving a higher education. I’m on a quest for knowledge and deep spiritual connection. My biggest influence to date is Bob Marley for his courage, and his will to do what was right. He didn’t focus on the materialistic goods of the world, instead he focused on spreading a message. Bob Marley’s message was an uplifting one, it inspired people and spoke of peace. He wanted people to stand up and fight for their rights, to accept their heritage, and to stand up against Babylon, the modern Western world and oppressive governments. The societies of the modern western world are all material driven. Faith is left to the individual, who can easily become lost in the mix of all the religions and all of their denominations. It’s extremely easy to take the wrong path in life, and that’s what Bob Marley didn’t want for the youth.

Thoughts: March 27th, 2012

My name is Carlos Campaña. I am him, and I am not. My purpose on this planet, a great one, thought I still have a hard time coming to terms with that. I currently stand on an upward slope. The slope is treacherous and others around me attempt to make me lose my footing, to make me stumble… Even to cause me to fall to the darkness below… I have a life line that guides me. A single rope, a single connection firmly anchored at the peak of this mountain which I cannot yet see, though I have faith that it is there. The rope does not give or take, it simply is. It is of my own initiative that I climb higher on this mountain of life and beyond, with the guidance of the rope. There have been others on either side of me, and have offered to help me climb higher. Some were genuine and did assist me, but eventually had to pull their hand back and away from me, for their lone hand was cramping from clasping their own rope so tightly. For if they didn’t, they might fall into the darkness and away from their own ambitions. Their helping hand once again clasps their rope, relieving the stress of the other hand. Their eyes look upon me with nothing less than love and care, yet once again, they look upwards toward the end of their ropes, and they push on.

There have been others who also stretched forth their hand. Yet before I could grasp it, it faded. All that’s left, are those empty words. They resonate in my mind until as quickly as their hand was gone, the thought escapes me.

I put my focus back on the rope, it is a simple color, white. White, absence of darkness. Threaded together by the craftiest hands, this rope that never fails, this connection that never falters. I can climb on my own. I have before, and I will again.

Then lack of confidence sneaks into my mind, the perfect infiltrator, and the doubtful questions begin. I take a moment and look at my own two hands. How much can these hands do? How much can they accomplish? I study them as they grip the rope as tightly as they can. How much can they help? How much can they overcome?

The response to these questions comes not from my mind, but from my own heart. A surge of energy floods my body and my feet find their place against the rock wall. My hands filled with an energy and strength they had so quickly forgotten.

I push on. I remember the strength I have in my arms.

I look around and in the midst of the rocks, I see a few beautiful flowers. I become fixated on them and am grateful to see some beautify in the midst of coarseness and struggle. They distract me. The flowers catch my attention and sometimes, sometimes, I wish I could just say with the flowers. Why can’t I just stay here?

There’s more to life. The end of the rope has yet to be seen. I shake the rope in hopes of catching a glimpse of the end of the rope, but have no luck.

My name is Carlos Campaña. I am him and I am not. Some may serve a greater purpose than I, and some may not. I am on this planet and no other, because I was chosen to be here, and to fill a need. Aren’t we all? Or de we simply exist on the planet amongst our peers? I couldn’t tell you about others, only of myself.

I’ve never felt completely worthless and from the bottom of my heart I hope I never do. Of my limited experience, of the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and years, of which oxygen has entered and exited my lungs, of which my heart has never ceased to beat, I felt like I was born to serve a greater purpose. A great force drives my life forward and I am never in complete darkness. Even when I feel hopeless, sitting in the dirt at the bottom of a well, the well of my negative emotions, there is always a light at the top. At times, I would prefer not to look upon it at all. I would rather burrow myself into the dirt in order to get comfortable, than to face the light.

It is the light of Possibility. When I tire of sleeping, so long the hours, and dwelling in my doubt and shame, I finally open my eyes and face the light. It is then that I see what I refused to see from the start. Stepping stones leading out.

I climb. A continuous process in my life. Barely a moment to rest, yet at times I rest. It costs me to rest. I sometimes rest.

Before I was on this planet, I was a thought. An idea. My Creator had a plan for me. You may call my Creator Biology, I call Him God.

God saw the world as it was, and came up with a plan. The plan was Carlos Luis Campaña III. Son of Lizka Pineda and Carlos Campaña Jr. There’s a specific reason why I’m here and as time unfolds, it will become clear to all what that reason is.

I am him and I am not. I believe before being born, in another dimension I existed with no physical characteristics of any kind. I was a spiritual being that in this life I may never be able to explain. God called for me and I went forth to Him like a soldier whose heart is overflowing with loyalty, and opened my ears to Him.

"Faithful and loyal servant, you shall go forth into the Earth and be called Carlos Luis Campaña III. You will not be large physically, nor will you be the strongest of men. You will carry your strength in your heart and your mind, and will make a difference for many. There will be those who oppose you for you come in My name. You will have hard times like many, and you will suffer like many, but never lose faith in Me for I