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Andrea Pinkey Ferguson
One of the most difficult times in my life was when I decided to divorce my husband. I had all the supposing right rational as to why this was the best decisions. I struggle with this thought for y...view moreOne of the most difficult times in my life was when I decided to divorce my husband. I had all the supposing right rational as to why this was the best decisions. I struggle with this thought for years. I had no trouble seeing his short comings, but never once acknowledged my own. I took offense when my friends recommended counseling and found it hard to believe that they could not recognize my suffering. How could they not understand; was one of the many questions that I kept asking myself. I felt betrayed that my children could not understand nor support my choice. Nevertheless, I never saw that in my selfishness I never once thought about the impact my leaving would have on my family. I failed them is my perception. Am I a failure? Despite the fact that I have never before in my life felt so much peace, was I wrong? If so, it is too late now, I will never know. I am still struggling, not with my decision to walk out of my marriage but, with the realization that I don’t really know myself. I feel as though I have spent all my life catering to other people needs, that I never once took time out to learn my own. I feel anger, frustration, bitterness, confusion and doubt my own abilities. To be strong does it really means not to cry? Well if that is strength then I guess that in this aspect, I am a failure. What I have learned is that sometimes people sees advice as criticism and it is very important how feedbacks are presented. Every good intention is perceived according to the reception of the person receiving it. My question is, how careful can we be? My writing is a reflection of life many problems, emotions, confusion, anger, pain and yearnings. I gained strength and courage through prayers and my faith. My struggles with forgiveness and fear helped with my growth and create an understanding or perhaps is more truthful to say, tolerance of others people and their behavior. Through my writing I desire to help others to get through similar experiences. To let them know that your experience is not unique. We have all been through one are more of them in our lifetime. As a nurse I have seen and heard it all. Every page of my book tells a story. I can guarantee that you will find yours…Luv Dat
I must admit that at times upholding the profession code of conduct without bias can be a challenge. What I find myself struggling to accept and understand is alcohol and drug abuse. Even though I try to tell myself that like any other illness this is a disease, I still visualize this as a conscious choice. I think this only affect the underprivileged and none productive population who could be utilizing their time in a more productive manner. I know that this though is wrong. Nevertheless, when they present themselves in the emergency room demanding narcotics, I find it hard to feel empathy and it often impatient with their rude and abrupt mannerism. I concluded that in order to tolerate and treat I need to obtain insight by gaining knowledge. I have no problem rendering care to this population, and, will do so in a manner no less than what is thought in my profession. The problem I find is in my mind. Will I have trouble changing my perception; I really don’t think that I will once I can grasp the concept of “why”. Does this make me a bad person or just human?view less