Bruised... Not Broken

By Shir Nisha

"BRUISED...NOT BROKEN"
Some things in life have no explanations, or at times cannot be expressed. They have to be felt from the depth of the heart.

Ravenna challenges were many. Survive, she did until she was drained. Death, she faced living in hell. Pain was her sorrow, then her body collapsed. Her will changed.

She re-created herself in her lost world, and regressed, even when she shouldnt have. Somehow, her heart got stuck with cupid bow. This love was new what she felt for Zachary.

The question is, how long will it last? Was she so afraid of her past that she refused her present. Perhaps, she was willing prey to Zacharys obsession at any cost? Or, was she waiting, all along in her heart for love to happen to her, anew?

Ravennas story is compelling, it promises to touch a soft spot in your heart. It is a page turner, and perfect to read on your travels, in front of the fire place or on a cool summers evening. It is for anyone who appreciate a touching story, full of life.


www.Books-by-Shir-Yasin.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 24, 2007
• ISBN: 9781469123158

Book preview

BRUISED …

NOT BROKEN

________________________________

Shir Nisha

Copyright © 2006 by Shir Nisha.

Library of Congress Control Number:       2006907083

ISBN:          Softcover                                 1-4257-2098-6

ISBN:          Softcover                                 978-1-4257-2098-8

                   Ebook                                      978-1-4691-2315-8

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CONTENTS

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

BIOGRAPHY

For the Children… .

I hear your pains and see your struggles,

and I am forced to do something for you… .

I love you!

The fact remains that the human mind is, indeed, phenomenal, and I have found it hard to grasp at times. Yet, in reality, the truth is much more dangerous than the untold truth. Some things in life have no explanation or sometimes cannot be expressed. They have to be felt even though the recipient of these feelings may not be able to put feeling into what he or she wants to say. It’s life, so simple, uncomplicated, but bare as daylight on a hot summer’s day.

Then again, fiction has its place in our lives. A life that one can find some sort of escape, a refuge from reality… regressing what is really real; and then again, is real really real?

Life, I say, should be taken with care, lest we fall beyond repair. Thus, let’s begin the story of the capabilities of a human mind and its capacity to deal with feeling within its own realm of feelings.

Ravenna was a beautiful young woman who had a very hard life and never believed that her life would take a turn they way it did. She knew that she had to change her life as well as get out of the abusive marriage, but she had no one to save her; and she could not save herself. Help and changes in Ravenna’s life came under strange circumstances when her mind refuses to function at normal pace. However, in her struggles to set herself free, she got caught up with a love and family.

Zachary, a doctor, has heard so much about this woman from his cousin who was a nurse; but he never actually got a chance to attend to her whenever she would come to the hospital. When he actually saw her, he fell in love with her looks and the way she carried herself.

She had black hair almost reaching her waist, and as he looked at her, he could imagine his fingers touching her hair. She was what he had been searching for his whole life, continent after continent; and here she was now, under his nose. Her dark brown eyes were haunting, like those of a dog who was alone, or similar to a child who has been betrayed by someone dear. He knew that she was also married, and today, her presence at the hospital was filled with sadness. Her only child, a five-year-old boy, had been battered and died as a result; so here she was, sitting quietly, coping with the death.

Bruised

Folded, fetal-like, she lay

Her broken body battered and bruised

She had none to protect her

To fight for her

When she could no longer resist the assault

She fell like a battered soldier

Broken, never to be totally re-glued

Fixed, yes, but how?

Her broken spirit and dreams bled

There her broken body lay for dead

Sobbing… stopped, she lay

Dream none, life some but where?

Strength she gained, dragging her broken, bleeding self away

Away, she dragged, quickly

The will to live, yet, another day

SNY

1

Friday, March 6:

It was raining this morning when I woke up. I heard the pattering of the raindrops on the windowpanes and on the shed. I did not want to get up. I had a sleepless night, and now I was up with a pounding headache. Besides, I felt a bit feverish. I knew I was coming down with something, but I ignored it.

Of course, I did not want to get up at all. Why? Simply because I knew that I had to go to work. Going to work meant that I had to drive on the Southern State to almost the middle of Long Island where my office was located. I guess the thought of getting the job done and seeing the clients was a motivating factor, so I finally got out of bed. I took my time at it too. The first thing I usually do is make my bed up, before I leave my room. Of course, the next stop is the toilet, then down the stairs to the kitchen.

My morning ritual is quite simple, a handful of Quick Oats in a bowl with some water and one minute in the microwave. Then I add a tablespoon of honey, then evaporated milk. I never sit and eat because I would never get out in time. So I stand over the kitchen sink and spoon my oatmeal in my mouth slowly and ponder what I will wear to go to work.

Once I decide what to wear, the morning is sailing along nicely; and before long, I am all finished with the bathroom and getting dressed with my favorite Friday clothes. Or I could say favorite because Fridays at work is casual day, and I can wear sportswear. Anyway, today, I wore my old black cotton pants and gray turtleneck sweater, with my regular boots for the season.

Driving in to work was slow, and traffic up to Exit 32 as always was slow going. However, today there weren’t any accidents, and I figured because it was raining; and everyone was taking their time. Quite contrary, when it is sunny, everyone usually is in a mad rush; and cars crisscross and weave in and out. Quite scary! Finally, I arrived at work and hammered away at my computer because I really wanted to get some backlog work completed. By 10:00 AM, I was running a high fever; my head was pounding more fiercely, but I kept going. Two hours later, I could not take it any longer; I ate my lunch and signed out to my designated site visit. You see, I am a human-service worker.

I did not even get to the site because I had to exit at Exit 33 on the Northern State. My head was pounding overbearingly. I rested awhile—I believed a long while—and I was not sure if I fell asleep. However, I told myself that the Advil did the trick; and I was feeling much better. When I finally got back on the highway, it was too late to see anyone; so I drove homeward.

Saturday, March 7:

Although I went to bed early last night, I was up early this morning, similar routine to workdays. Also, today, I was cooking for my husband whose birthday would be tomorrow. Later on today, we would be seeing The Passion of the Christ at Sunrise Mall. I drove over to the cinema. It was only about five minutes’ drive. I was not surprised that the line was long. However, it moved along nicely; and before long, we were getting through the security guard and to cinema 8. There were many patrons today, the most I had seen since I had been going to Sunrise Cinema. It was quite noisy in the cinema, and I had to move three times before I actually felt comfortable.

Right through the movie, I cried until I had no more tissues and ended up using my scarf. It was silky material to dry my tears, but it worked. Nevertheless, I drove straight home afterward and could not function henceforth. I crawled into my bed and lay there. I was shocked about the movie’s content but not sure why I was feeling the way I did, yet I kept thinking of the movie until I dozed off. I was rudely awakened by noises in my kitchen. I jumped out of bed and came down and saw that my husband had cooked his own birthday dinner, and I felt bad.

I guess something had upset me; and I could not put my finger on it, but I fussed and fretted awhile. I remember eating a hearty dinner since I did not have anything substantial all day. Soon the evening slipped in, but I was still sick. I took two Advils with a cup of tea and settled down to watch a movie. After the movie, I went to bed.

Sunday March 8:

I was still very sick, and my headache refused to go away. I got up at 11:00 AM and had a cup of tea. However, I decided that I was going to make the meanest soup ever. So I got beef out of the freezer, barley, yellow split peas, plantain and got started. Within the hour, my soup was done and I ate. I went over to the sofa and slept up to 3:30 PM. I did feel better but not completely. I was glad that I slept.

The evening was quite normal, and I watched TV as I tackled sorting my photographs. It was a mess, and I also needed to get a few photos to send to my sister. I had promised her months ago. Besides, friends and family were all asking for recent photos. So I buckled down to this task and kept my eyes on the TV program, both suffered because I fell asleep.

I was awakened when I heard the front door slammed shut; and as I quickly gathered my photos, my spouse came in and started screaming at me, telling me that I was wasting electricity. He demanded to know what was for dinner even though it was 10:00 PM and past supper time.

Dutifully, I heated the spaghetti and meatballs and set it in front of him; but when he tasted it, he took the plate and threw it in my face and slapped me on the head, once again, informing me that I was no good, and my food tasted like crap. I cleaned up the mess and went off to bed after I washed up and rubbed a bit of salt on my wound I had received from the spaghetti plate.

Monday, March 9:

It snowed this morning, and I knew what state the Southern State Parkway would be in; so I got out of bed early. I was feeling much better and prepared to get on with the week. After my usual breakfast, I wore my burgundy pantsuit and a pale yellow turtleneck sweater, and my burgundy grove-bottom boots. I was ready for the weather. I grabbed my lunch bag and bottle, and with my purse slung over my shoulder, I picked up my car-key ring that held a waist clip on among other things, the garage opener; and I headed out of the kitchen door. I was hell-bent on beating the traffic this morning. I really had a lot of work to do and consumers to see in the hospital who I have not seen as yet.

I was debating if I should first go to see my consumer who was in Mercy Medical Center, very close to my home, or first go to my office I guess my faith was sealed. I had no way of knowing it though. So I buckled down in getting to my office. I told myself that I could get some work done and leave the office around 2:00 PM and get back in time for a 3:30 PM visit with my client who was going through some test at Mercy Medical Center in Rockville Center.

I guess with so many crisis cases and not being well recently were creating havoc in my physiological system, and I was not even aware of it. I kept pushing myself to hurry back and actually met my deadline to get out of the office at exactly 2:15 PM.

The sun was out, and the Southern State was dry. It was a beautiful day to be out in the field. I drove at a good speed 55 mph and was feeling a slight headache coming on. I got upset at myself for not feeling better; and I told myself as soon as I got to the parking lot of Mercy Hospital, I was going to pop an Advil after I had looked over some notes for the present master’s program I had been challenging myself with. I called it the final assault in education.

Who knows what fate had in store for them? Today, I supposed, was my turn for Lady Fate. She had other plans for me. I was quite busy thinking that this visit was going to be a quick visit with this particular patient and would zip out. I did not need to see him because I had already seen him, but I just wanted to visit to make sure he was feeling better, and not lonely.

Usually, I always take my pocket book with me, plus my appointment book; but this was an in-and-out visit. So I locked my pocket book in my black Chevrolet Blazer and checked to make sure the vehicle’s other door was locked. I got out of the jeep and stepped down.

I started to walk briskly, intention set, toward the hospital; and I was near to the entrance when I felt a little dizzy, but I totally ignored it. Soon after, I felt myself falling; and that was the last thing I remembered.

2

When I tried to get up, someone was telling me to stay calm. I was confused as to why she was telling me to stay calm. I finally managed to focus my eyes and found myself looking at a pair of gray kind-looking eyes. She was a heavyset, matronly woman, who wore a purple nursing uniform. I tried to get up again, but she said that she would help me up. I tried to stand up by myself, but I could not. She then fished out her cell phone and made a call.

I was not sure what the hell had happened. I felt fine at this point. She asked where I was going, and I told her that I was not sure. Shortly after, I told her I really don’t know. She asked if she could call someone for me, and I looked at her. She asked me my name, and I told her I have to think for a minute.

She looked at me, as if, surprised, but I was now feeling slightly shaken; and my head was beginning to throb. My name at this point was not important. I could actually think, What the hell is happening to me? She asked me to see if I had any kind of identification in my pocket; but when I felt my pocket, I only had a piece of old gum. I had no form of ID. She picked up my keys and examined it. I did not have automatic or a car-alarm system. My jeep keys were on a basic key ring without any gizmos. She gently tucked her arm under my arm and walked me to the hospital entrance and informed the guard that I had an accident.

I was basically fine, no bones broken. This nice nurse was the only familiar person. Still, it never occurred to me that something was actually wrong with me. This kind woman reassured me all the time and stayed the entire time with me. I was getting very tired and really was hungry and wanted to sleep very badly. I just could not sleep. The Good Samaritan, as I have labeled her in my mind, said that her brother was a doctor. She was gone for a short time and returned with an ice-cream bar. I took it and thanked her. I slowly ate it, not knowing any evil in any way was about to befall me more than I bargained for.

I believed in Karma, but I never believed that mine would turn this way. Anyway, I was a bit groggy and bumping along nicely. It was a nice sensation of well-being. I was feeling good and quite conscious of this feeling; yet when I opened my eyes, I actually smiled. The smile was quickly replaced with an effect of extreme nervousness. I quickly sat up and found myself in the backseat of a huge vehicle. I looked up at the driver and found out it was my friend. I was happy again.

She asked me how I was feeling, and I said fine. I wanted to know why we were not in the hospital; and she said that I was fine, and she was taking me home. She had me there, and I knew that I was not fine. I did not know what to say to her. She told me not to worry, that she is taking me home to my husband. So now I have a husband. My heart quickened, and I asked her if she knew who I was; and she said yes.

I wanted to know if I had a husband, why he did not come for me; but she must have anticipated that question and said that I lived out of state and was in New York for a seminar. I asked her how come she was doing this for me. She did not say anything at first but shortly answered, saying that my husband said that he would pay her five hundred dollars