Resisting Narcissistic Love

By L Davis

A guide to narcissistic love like no other. With a blend of philosophy, psychology, science, and wit, this guide is meant to help you understand the power that narcissists wield over our hearts and minds and how to deal when we encounter one. Whether you've just met and fallen in love with a narcissist, have been with one for years, or have just ended a relationship and are sifting through the ashes, this book is meant to be a balm to your heart and mind, to help you see clearly why the pull of the narcissist's spell is so powerful, and what you can do to save yourself and break free.

• Language: English
• Publisher: L Davis
• Release date: Aug 12, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005105464

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Copyright

Resisting Narcissistic Love

Copyright © <2021>

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9781005105464

Preface

I encountered my first narcissist in 2001, when I was 21 years old, around the same time that I first got a desktop computer and home internet. Andrew was incredibly good looking and charismatic, as well as 11 years older than me. He was also talented, and fascinating, and horribly abusive. When I finally found myself discarded and sitting in the pile of smoldering ashes that was once my heart, I turned to turn-of-the century internet for help and answers. That’s how I started learning about sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists. (What distinguishes those types from each other is something of a debate, and though I have my own opinions on the matter that I won’t get into that here.) Back then there was no social media; it was all awkwardly formatted HTML websites and old-school discussion forums.

That experience kicked off my fascination with psychopathy and the phenomenon of narcissistic personalities. I’ve pursued this interest over the past 20 years through reading articles and by experts and the experiences of victims recounted on internet forums as well as through personal observations and experience.

Yes, experience. Andrew was by far not my last narcissist. I have something of a predilection for tangling with narcissists, and my reasons for that are, well, not the subject of this book, really. But suffice it to say that I’ve gathered some hard-won wisdom of how narcissists work, the various types one might encounter, their ticks and disguises, and what exactly happens when one responds to them in various ways. My interactions with narcissists have become something of a series of risky and ill-advised psychology experiments, and I will admit that, like a bull rider who can’t give up the rodeo, I’ve sustained a number of of injuries, some rather grave. I do not, and I emphasize this, recommend doing what I do and tangling with narcissists on purpose.

This book is meant to be a guide to anyone who may have recently encountered a narcissist, those currently living in the devalue phase, those who have been discarded, and those who have recently broken away from a narcissist. It’s a combination of philosophy, psychology, science, and wit. I’m not a professional psychologist or therapist—just a woman with a lot of experience and the scars to prove it, along with a habit of deeply researching and analyzing the subjects that catch my interest. I hope that you, my dear reader, will find something in this book to ease your mind, lighten your heart, and help you to carry on after experiencing the wild ride that is a relationship with a narcissist.

1

Introduction: The Myth of Narcissus

IT IS ONE of the most well-known myths of the ancient Western world: a young man of extraordinary beauty falls in love with his own reflection in a pool and, according to different versions, drowns when he tries to embrace it, starves for inability to move from the spot, or kills himself in frustration and agony when he cannot possess his beloved.

In our popular cultural imagination, the myth of Narcissus is a cautionary moral tale about the dangers of vanity. The figure of Narcissus is tragic—a sad victim of this human vice. As vanity is a type of pride, it is one of the Seven Deadly Sins in Christianity, so it makes sense that this ancient myth has come, in our culture, to be interpreted as a cautionary tale warning against it. That interpretation, however, ignores the rest of the story and the true nature of this tale. You see, Narcissus’ ultimate fate is no accident. It is his punishment from the gods for the torment he has caused to those who have fallen in love with him and suffered misery as a result. Now, if you think about this for a moment, it might not make sense. Why punish Narcissus for the crime of being so beautiful that people fall madly in love with him? Ostensibly because he does not love them back. But that still would be unjust, wouldn’t it? He has no duty to love anyone back. So why would the gods punish him so severely?

The thing about stories like these, myths, is that their purpose is to make sense out of the human experience and satisfy the human need for a sense of justice and order in the world. The purpose of this story is not in fact to warn of the dangers of vanity but to satisfy a longing for justice against a personality type whom every human is sure

Reviews for Resisting Narcissistic Love

[MANISH · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Every words it mentioned is 100% I have observed in my relationship.