250 Ways to Say You Suck at Writing

By David Macpherson

How do you tell a friend that they are not good at writing?

 

There is no good way to tell your friend that. You might as well burn that bridge of friendship and get out of the village as quickly as possible.

 

We have 250 ways to say that the book or story they made you read was awful. You might lose a friend, but you will never have to read a bad book by a friend again.

 

Of course, you might have no friends at the end, but I think you can manage.

 

Get this book, because you always need a way to put your friends down.

• Language: English
• Publisher: David Macpherson
• Release date: Jul 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201637248

Book preview

250 Ways to Say You Suck at Writing

1 Uhm, no.

2 Uh-uh.

3 Yeah, nope.

4 Wow. That was writing.

5 I thought the pages were smudged and it was hard to read. Turns out, there is no smudging and it is still hard to read.

6 Sentences are harder than you first realize.

7 Punctuation is harder than finding the right word.

8 That was a lot of indefinite articles.

9 Semicolons are difficult to use. Maybe you should stop wielding them like a weapon.

10 You know how they always say to show and not tell. You can tell. It’s fine. It actually won’t make a bit of difference.

11. Take all of those How-To-Write books and burn them. They do a great job roasting marshmallows.

12 You had so many cliffhangers in the book, I was thinking of finding a cliff of my own and jumping over it.

13. I don’t think you are ready for a first-person narrative.

14 That’s not how it happened.

15 That’s exactly how it happened.

16 Nothing happened

17 Too many things happened.

18 I guess you think that writing allows you to make things up, but you know, you have to be truthful.

19 If you were looking for a boring representation of dull people, then I think you have a winner here.

20 It doesn’t seem like you were having any fun while writing.

21 It seems like you were having fun instead of doing something important.

22 This is what four years of tuition brought?

23 I feel bad for