Understanding Self-Esteem: Secrets to Overcoming Low self-esteem, Boosting Self-confidence and Self-Love

By Alan D Weber

Self-esteem is the internal way we see ourselves and assume that other people see us as well. Whether these views are correct or not is another story.

Dealing with low self-esteem can make life difficult as you will spend too much time focusing on little details that aren’t that important rather than enjoying new activities and experiences because they sound fun. If you have low self-esteem, this is not cause for worry.

This guidebook has all the tips and tricks you will need in order to take care of your low self-esteem. This book is going to start out with some of the basics about self-esteem. We will take the time to learn what self-esteem is and what helps to form this in each person. There is also a bit of discussion on why your self-esteem may be so low. It goes on to talk about how you can silence your inner critic. Often we are much harsher on ourselves and hold onto things much longer than necessary. When others have long forgotten, we still remember when we said something wrong or embarrassed ourselves. To truly work on your self-esteem, you have to learn how to silence that inner critic.

We will also cover the importance of having a positive lifestyle, how you need to take good care of yourself before you can raise your self-esteem. You need to understand how you are important and take some time to work on your thoughts and feelings. Whether this is on your own or with some professional help doesn’t matter as long as you take the time to better yourself in the process. Give this book a try and see how much easier it can be to take control of your life and really enjoy it with confidence.

Read on!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: May 12, 2021

Book preview

Introduction

What is self-esteem?

Several people have defined self-esteem over the years. One school of thought suggested that self-esteem is all about being aware of the value of one’s own dignity or personality. This definition is more from the ethical and philosophical standpoint.

There is another definition, which made the rounds in 1980, according to which; self-esteem is nothing but the satisfaction or dissatisfaction with oneself. This is purely based on our perception of successes and losses. We tend to feel happy when we succeed and feel shameful when we fail. Going by this, our self-esteem is determined by our successes and failures, which will result in us feeling satisfied and dissatisfied respectively.

Over the years, self-esteem has been regarded as the feeling of appreciating oneself, in the field of psychology. Several psychologists have come up with different theories about self-esteem. However, it is not possible to restrict the meaning or definition of self-esteem for it has several facets to it.

Self-esteem is the internal way we see ourselves and assume that other people see us as well. Whether these views are correct or not is another story. Dealing with low self-esteem can make life difficult as you will spend too much time focusing on little details that aren’t that important rather than enjoying new activities and experiences because they sound fun. If you have low self-esteem, this is not cause for worry.

This guidebook has all the tips and tricks you will need in order to take care of your low self-esteem. Give this book a try and see how much easier it can be to take control of your life and really enjoy it with confidence.

Thanks for downloading this book. It’s my firm belief that it will provide you with all the answers to your questions.

Importance of Self-esteem

Now that we have gone over the basic aspects of self-esteem, let us look at the importance of self-esteem. We do not realize the important role it plays in our life. This is why we don’t address any issues pertaining to our self-esteem. Let us look at the several benefits of having a good self-esteem in this chapter. This will perhaps help us analyze where we stand and the necessity to deal with our self-esteem related issues.

You can be yourself

When you have a good self-esteem, you do not have to worry about being yourself. You will learn to appreciate yourself as a person. You are not scared to let others know your opinions or thoughts. You will not feel the necessity to please others or subscribe to others’ views or opinions. You can be an independent individual who has strong convictions about his values and opinions.

You learn to accept disagreement

We all get irritated when somebody disagrees for no reason. It is often people with low self-esteem who do that. As I mentioned earlier, they often believe that any criticism that comes their way is a personal attack. They take every argument personally and feel victimized. This is perhaps why they cannot deal with disagreements in a positive way. On the other hand, when you have a healthy self-esteem, you will be able to accept the different opinions of others with so much ease. You don’t feel threatened by any another person’s opinions or disagreement with your opinions. You firmly believe in your convictions and this belief is not shaken just because others disagree with you. This does not mean that you turn out to be an arrogant person when you have a healthy self-esteem. On the contrary, you find it easier to accept others’ disagreements with grace, without feeling offended.

You are capable of articulating your view

Often people find it difficult to articulate their views and opinions when they are put on the spot. They find it challenging to speak their mind. Now imagine how would someone feel when they are put on the spot for believing in certain things or for possessing certain values? If you are a person with low self-esteem, you find it extremely difficult to defend yourself, let alone your views and opinions. You will not be able to articulate your beliefs in such a fashion that the other person buys it. This is because you will be too engrossed with your imagination that you were put on the spot in the first place as a part of a personal attack.

On the other hand, if you have a healthy self-esteem, you will not be threatened if someone chooses to question your beliefs. You would be more than happy to defend your beliefs and opinions in a civilized fashion, without being overtly defensive or hostile to the other person. Simply put, you will not be scared of conceding defeat. This lack of fear actually helps you engage in a healthy conversation, when it comes to your beliefs and opinions.

You are open to new challenges

When you have a healthy self-esteem, you will not be scared of newer challenges and opportunities. You would be more than excited to accept an interesting task, as you truly believe that every opportunity can help you showcase who you really are. You take up every opportunity that comes your way with sheer confidence and optimism and see through it.

If you were a person with a very low self-esteem, you would think twice before stepping out of your comfort zone. You are not comfortable in taking risks. You are always plagued by the fear of failure. This fear affects your morale as well. You are simply not motivated to do something new because you are scared that you will fail miserably in it. Another reason why this fear affects a person with low self-esteem is that, they strongly believe that failures will make them look little in the eyes of others. Since they are forever trying to look good in everybody’s books, these failures may have an adverse impact. In order to look good all the time, they end up taking only those tasks that are well within their comfort zones. This is perhaps why people with very low self-esteem seldom succeed in their lives.

On the other hand, people who are successful are those who can make the best use of a lucrative offer that comes their way. They are well aware of the changes that go hand in hand with an opportunity. They are not scared of these changes. On the contrary, they are more than excited to handle these changes with a bright smile plastered across their faces. Such is their confidence when it comes to their skills and talent.

You do not fear uncertainty

Change is the only constant in life. All of us are aware of it. But how many of us actually can accept this simple truth of life? Our self-esteem plays a very important role when it comes to accepting changes. When we have a low self-esteem, we detest changes. We do not have confidence in our capacity to adapt to these changes and survive. This is one of the important reasons why we do not look forward to changes. We feel threatened when something occurs out of the blue. As I mentioned earlier, people with low self-esteem are perfectionists. They expect everything to go according to the plan. They expect every little detail to be perfect and they expect every other person around them to conduct themselves in the perfect manner possible. In other words, they do not make room for uncertainty. They do not consider for a minute that their plans may not turn out to work in the perfect fashion, as anticipated by them. Simply put, they are not prepared for uncertainty. This is pretty much why they feel flustered when things don’t work out in the perfect fashion.

On the other hand, if you are a person with a high self-esteem, you are not worried about uncertainty. In fact, you account for the element of uncertainty in all your plans. This does not mean that you expect everything to not go according to the plan. It simply means that you are prepared to face any unforeseen events that might happen. Your confidence helps you to prepare even for the worst. As I mentioned earlier, a person with high levels of self-esteem has complete trust in their problem solving skills. So uncertainty can never throw them off guard.

You are more resilient

As I mentioned earlier, people with a low self-esteem criticize themselves a lot. They dwell too much in the past. They blame themselves a lot even for the smallest of mistakes. They find it difficult to move on, once a problem is solved. They would rather prefer to dwell over it and lose their happiness. They think that they are solely responsible for all the problems in their life. In other words, problems tend to weaken them. Their self-esteem gets shattered more and more, with each new problem.

On the other hand, when you have high levels of self-esteem, you learn from each problem. You accept the fact that nobody can ever be perfectly happy all the time. You come to terms with the fact that problems are always going to be a part of your life. Instead of brooding over them, you actually regard each problem as a learning experience. You come out stronger every time a hurdle is thrown at you. You find it relatively easier to deal with your problems when you have a healthy self-esteem. You are capable of doing what it takes to resolve the problem and get things back on track.

You do not need approval

When you are a person with low self-esteem, you always seek the approval of people around you. You are forever trying to please the people around you and get their approval. This may actually be a futile and a tiring exercise. You will be able to get so many things done when you are not wasting time trying to get others’ approval.

When you have high self-esteem, you are not dependent on others to feel happy. You believe in yourself and you believe in your values more than anything. You don’t need someone’s approval to tell you that your beliefs are right. You don’t waste time trying to please others. Instead you will be able to utilize the time for something productive. You do not let others’ disapproval deter your beliefs or values.

You know that it is completely fine to not know everything

When