Vipassana: A Journey Within

By Leigh Tilley

Leigh takes you on a 10 day journey of meditative vipassana retreat. 2 years after suffering multiple strokes at the age of 38, abruptly cutting short a fast paced lifestyle complete with the city job, big house and fancy car. 10 days of no technology, no talking and no connection!

Along this journey of physical and mental endurance he exp

• Language: English
• Publisher: CMD
• Release date: Dec 23, 2019
• ISBN: 9781734302295

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Vipassana: A Journey Within

Leigh Tilley

Copyright ©2019 Leigh Tilley

All right reserved. No part of this book maybe used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photo copying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodies in critical article and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The reviews expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

My First Vipassana - 15-25 May 2015

Day One: Anapana All In

Day Two: Dragons

Day Three: Snakes

Day Four: Liquid Light

Day Five: Vipassana

Day Six: Weeping Tiger

Day Seven: Blessing Don’t Go!

Day Eight: Lighter

Day Nine: Talking Day

The Final Morning: Departure

My First Vipassana - 15-25 May 2015 

Day Zero: Arrival

‘I from Huuungary but I been here seehven yeahrsu.’ The cab driver answered enthusiastically after I enquired where his accent was from as it was unfamiliar to me.

‘Why yooou come this centre my friiienhd? You can’t talk or use technoologeee.’ He chirped up as he swerved into a country lane.

‘I think that’s the point mate!’ I laughed.

The surroundings were beautiful. I was living in Kent and Wiltshire appeared to be similarly stunning with lush greenery and lots of grassland.

‘Well, in the middle of 2013 I suffered multiple strokes on the way to work. A passer-by called an ambulance and I was taken to a nearby hospital where they took fifty-six hours to diagnose what was happening and what was wrong with me. I sold my house and lived on the money.

I’ve spent the rest of the time rebuilding my body, mind, sight and speech. Three different people told me about vipassana, one in particular mentioned this place and to me it feels like the next stage of recovery.’ I explained, wrapping up the last two years and a monumental ordeal into a few sentences.

‘Woow, woow my friiienhd you have done amazingly well. You are strooong, veehry strooong. How old you now?’ he rattled off quickly.

‘I was 40 in March and 38 at the time it happened back in 2013.’ I replied.

‘Oooh you don’t look it eht aahll.’ He exclaimed.

‘Haha you’re too kind. Well, I pay special attention to nutrition and health which kept me alive in the first instance and now will continue to keep me alive!’ I laughed as I said this.

‘Aaaa-ehnd heeere we go my friiienhd!’ he chimed as he pulled up beside a pair of white gates that protected a large courtyard.

I had been meaning to do this since I’d heard about it from a yoga teacher, Beth, who I met in 2014. At the time I had begun attending monthly talks hosted by a company called the InnerSpace Organisation. They taught me a form of meditation at their Covent Garden Centre in London. Whilst at these talks, two people I met there also said that I should definitely experience vipassana. I took it as a sign! Beth did her first vipassana at the International Meditation Centre in Wiltshire, which she recommended to me due to its deep and direct links with its creation in Burma.

I looked up vipassana and found it is a form of Buddhist meditation run and performed in the tradition of Sayagyi u Ba Khin. I researched his name to find that he was the first Accountant General of the Union of Burma and a Buddhist Master born on March 6, 1899. He is principally known as a leading twentieth century authority on vipassana meditation and an influential leader of the vipassana movement.

Buddhist meditation is comprised of two forms; calmness of mind (formally known as anapana) and vipassana. It turns out that vipassana means to see things as they really are.

I had been using meditation to heal after what had happened to me; suffering six strokes and being in a rough condition mentally and physically since that time. Now seemed like the right time for me to embark on this journey.

I found the website for the International Meditation Centre and emailed them with the intention of attending the centre in the United Kingdom. They had centres in the United Kingdom, Australia, Austria, USA, Germany, Italy, Japan, the Netherlands, Russia, Switzerland and Ukraine. I filled out a form and listed the reasons why I wanted to attend. What were my reasons? It sounded to me as if it could be the last part of my physical recovery; silence, the power of the yogic breath I had read about and its effects on the physical body. I wrote this type of thing in my email.

A man named Roger emailed me back and said that I would need to agree to drop anything else I was doing meditation-wise, at least whilst I was there on the course. I replied that I would be completely open to new ideas and willing to receive and follow any instructions that I felt would be beneficial. My course was agreed for May.

What would it be like? How would I feel?

I had no idea. I like learning new things and I am incredibly open and enjoy meeting new people. I was sure it would be an enlightening and informative experience at the very least.

I’d been eagerly telling friends about it and they could not believe that I’d have to hand my phone in and that I, someone who talks a lot, would be observing a vow of noble silence. Every day I’m on my laptop and mobile phone, reading, researching, writing and playing with creative ideas; always communicating and connecting. How interesting it would be to surrender these items, if only for ten days.

The day quickly came around to start my vipassana. I made my way across London to Paddington train station, bought my ticket to Chippenham and boarded the train five minutes before it was due to depart. The train was very busy, although I guessed this was pretty normal given that it was 3pm on a Friday afternoon and the weekend exodus was just beginning. The journey to Chippenham took just over an hour so in no time I was in Wiltshire and silence loomed ever closer!

I stepped off the train, laptop bag in one hand and wheeled suitcase in the other. I love visiting new places and even in my home country of the UK, which is not that big compared to others, there are many places I have not been to. My immediate impression of Chippenham was that of a quaint, charming little town with a relaxed atmosphere to it. The people seemed to be in a nice laid back flow, not in any particular hurry and in contrast to the bustling city I had left behind.

I found the taxi rank, hailed a cab and showed the driver the address. Thankfully he knew the place. We loaded my bags in the back and set off.

We pulled in through the white gates and drove up a long narrow private road.

‘Thenk you my frieehnd. Enjoy your visit.’

‘Thanks mate; I’m not sure what to expect but I’ll learn something for sure!’ I exclaimed.

I stepped out of the cab and looked around. We’d driven up a private road lined with bushes and past a garden containing a Buddhist temple, resplendent with shiny turrets on the top and in the centre. In front of me were white gates and a large courtyard with buildings to either side. Behind me there was a beautiful pond perhaps fifteen to twenty feet in diameter. To the left of the gate was a sign

‘IMC UK – Please ring the bell and wait for assistance’

The gate was open and I could see people inside walking around with luggage. I walked in through the open gate.

‘Hi, are you here for vipassana? The reception is there on the right. Go straight in and they’ll take care of you.’ A tall, slender and extremely well-spoken lady explained this as she pointed to a large wooden door.

As I walked into the office I was greeted by two grey haired men sat behind a large wooden desk who appeared to be in their sixties. One of them waved me over and began the registration process. He asked me for the suggested voluntary donation of £250 for the ten day stay and explained to me that I could hand my phone in now if I wanted to. I dutifully removed my phone from my pocket, switched it off and handed it over along with my payment.  The phone was placed into a large brown envelope which was then sealed. He wrote my name across it in bold marker pen.

Interestingly I did not make any final checks for messages although I had spoken to my parents on the journey to the centre. It was not difficult to hand the phone in but then I suspect this was because I had decided that this mission was for my benefit; once I decide a course of action I stick with it until it proves unworthy. I would follow their instructions as from what I had already seen, they ran the centre very well.

Another man entered the room.

‘Hi, I’m Dave and I’ll take you on a tour of the place and show you to your room.’ He said all of this in the unmistakeable twang of Australia!

Dave showed me the gardens of the estate and the outside of the temple, which he explained was a replica of a temple in Burma. He informed me that we would be treated to a tour of the inside on our last day. He pointed out how the main building was divided and proceeded to lead me around to the front entrance.

We entered the central meditation hall from the men’s entrance at the back of the right side of the room. A dividing wall ran down to a small raised stage at the front that spanned the divide and could be seen from both sides. Dave explained to me that the women sit on the left side of the hall with men on the right, the sexes being made to experience vipassana separately by design throughout the centre so as not to distract each other. A door to the right of the stage served as an entrance for the teacher. There were about 20 or so green mats arranged on the wooden floor on the men’s side. My mat was at the back left of the room, next to the dividing wall.

He then took me to the bedroom I would be sharing during my stay. This was located in another building across the shingle courtyard, facing the central building. The room had three sets of bunk beds however there would only be three of us in the room so I was free to choose whichever bed I preferred. I dropped my bags onto one of the lower bunks with a window next to the left side of the bed. On our way out Dave pointed out the bathroom and shower room and we left the outhouse. Finally, Dave led me to the canteen where dinner would be served before the evening talk.

‘As you walk around each area you need to wear flip flops.’

‘Oh…er…oh, I must have missed this on the requirements list...’ I murmured.

‘Ah OK. Don’t worry Leigh I will lend you a pair.’ he swiftly replied, smiling warmly at me.

‘We sound the gong at 4am to wake people and the first meditation is at 4:30am.’

‘Ah, I always use my phone as an alarm and I gave it in…’ I replied, feeling silly.

‘Not to worry. We have many small alarm clocks to lend people.’ he smiled at me again.

He led me into the canteen area.

‘I’ll drop your flip flops off at your room for you Leigh, enjoy your meal.’ he smiled and disappeared through a side door marked ‘Staff Only’.

The canteen was divided in two in a similar way to the meditation hall. There was a kitchen for women on the left and a kitchen for men on the right. They had identical work surfaces mirroring each other. Many people sat at the long tables, eating and talking animatedly; the noise and chatter of people getting to know each other bounced around the room. I served myself some chickpea rice, salad and a few slices of cheese. I took my plate and walked towards the back of the room and approached a young