The Preschool Parent Primer

By Pamela Evans

Parents are a child’s first and most influential teachers; however, parenting and teaching can be challenging as each has a steep learning curve. The Preschool Parent Primer is here to help. Pamela Evans draws from her decades of experience with preschoolers and young families to provide a list of best practices and helpful resources for parents and teachers in the third edition of her popular practical guide.

Topics include:
What to look for in a preschool.
How to develop a positive parent-teacher relationship.
What is developmentally appropriate.
Advice for toilet training and dealing with tantrums.
What are some of the common fears of preschoolers, and how to mitigate them.
The importance of routines, socialization, regular sleep, the arts, nature education and more.

The preschool years are a wonderful adventure. The Preschool Parent Primer is here to help parents overcome the challenges that arise as you and your child grow and learn together.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pamela Evans
• Release date: Mar 31, 2021
• ISBN: 9780998096940

Book preview

Preface

Welcome to The Preschool Parent Primer. It’s here to provide you with practical advice from my many years of teaching preschoolers, developing curricula, and working with parents.

A book cannot tell you how to raise your child or what’s right for your family. Every family is unique. You are the expert on your child, but perspective from someone who’s seen many children and families through these early years can be helpful. The best advice is to trust your intuition, seek council from those you trust, and don’t worry about the minor stuff. Take the time to enjoy these years. Cliché or not, the preschool years will be over before you know it, and you will hardly remember many of the issues that seem insurmountable now. That said, here is some help for now.

This book is a guide toward best practices for parents and teachers of preschoolers. The purpose of The Preschool Parent Primer is to provide some insight into many common practices of teachers, concerns of parents, and needs of preschoolers. Chapters begin with a list of key factors to keep in mind and ideas to help with a specific challenge. The chapter following the list has in-depth information on the topic with anecdotes and references for additional reading.

Parents are a child’s first and most influential teachers; however, parenting and teaching can be challenging, as each has a steep learning curve. This book is my checklist of information for starting each school year as a preschool teacher, along with useful advice for parents.

The Preschool Parent Primer is a resource guide. You will find links to books, websites, and products throughout the book. I am not affiliated with any of the companies. The links are just here to make your life easier!

Introduction

Generally, an introduction lays out what you will be reading in the book. Many books on preschoolers are based on specific studies or specific developmental philosophies. I feel an obligation to let you know right away that, aside from sources to those materials in the bibliography, this book is intentionally designed differently. Although it is a list of best practices, The Preschool Parent Primer is more of a conversation about many issues that concern parents including: what to look for in a preschool; how to develop a positive parent-teacher relationship; what normal behavior for a particular age looks like; and the importance of routines, socialization, regular sleep, and more.

Each chapter starts with a list of key factors. This handy summary of the chapter is placed at the beginning of the chapter for easy reference when challenges pop up.

I hope The Preschool Parent Primer will give you some peace of mind about what to expect during these years and that it will provide some ideas and resources for ways to address the challenges that will arise as your child steps out into a larger world.

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ben

Backyard obstacle course fun!

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A brief note on pronouns; (she, he, they) I wish the English language had a commonly used gender-neutral pronoun. It currently does not, although they is becoming more frequent in use. For readability, I chose to alternate pronouns by chapter.

1

Discovering Preschool

Key Factors:

Realize how well you are already parenting.

Allow your child to take on new and more challenging real jobs.

The goal is happy, healthy, independent children.

We often associate happiness in life with how well one can understand and negotiate social situations.

Preschool can be a wonderful way to build a community for your entire family, not just your child.

Scheduling play dates with other children is one of the best things you can do for your child.

Socially, children learn more from a peer than from an adult.

The most important job in preschool, for children, teachers, and parents, is socialization.

Playing with others is a process requiring many steps that adults often take for granted.

It is important to listen to your child and show respect for her thoughts and feelings.

Upsetting social interactions are pathways to learning and empathy.

Play! Play! Play!

Within the pages of The Preschool Parent Primer, you will find some advice, some examples, and a lot of encouragement. My hope is you will realize how well you are already parenting. The practical advice and useful tips within these pages should reinforce your belief that you are doing a good job. Parenting is difficult. You already have wisdom to be a great parent for your child because no one knows your child like you do. Take a little time each day to think about what worked best for your child and what didn’t work so well. Each day is a work in progress. A little reflection can provide a great deal of insight.

You have a preschooler in your home. You don’t have time to read the great American novel! The Preschool Parent Primer is set up with that reality in mind. It’s designed to help put your mind at ease. The chapters are brief with tips on best practices and resource lists where appropriate. A list of Key Factors starts each chapter and helps you find or revisit topics of interest.

This book focuses on the preschool years, when your child is ready to move out into a bigger world beyond home and daycare. When referring to preschool age in this book, the focus is on children who are ready for preschool activities. It’s about maturity, not chronological age, but generally children need to be 2 years 6 months or 3 years of age for traditional preschool. 

It’s an exciting time when children are rapidly expanding their knowledge, shaping opinions about their world, and figuring out their place in it.  

Children can help at home with proper tasks. It may take you twice as long to get something done with your child’s help. Your patience now will strengthen your child’s capabilities and confidence in the future. Basic hands-on chores help a child feel like a useful, contributing member of the family. During these early years, reassess how much your child can do regularly. Allow your child to take on new and more challenging real jobs. 

Tools their size can help. For Example, a small broom allows your child to have success in sweeping the floor. I was the youngest of several children; my mother had jobs for each child, depending on age and ability. One of my first jobs was to dust. Dusting may sound easy, but my mother expected the job to be done well. Treat chores as an important contribution to the family.

One thing you don’t want to do is push inappropriate academic skills too early. Many studies have shown that young children need to learn and practice life skills. They need time to explore their environment. Pushing early academic skills can backfire in the long run. We will go in depth on this matter in Chapter 5, What Is Developmentally Appropriate?

While reading a well-known parenting magazine, I came across an article on what your child should know before going to preschool. The author went over many skills children learn in preschool. These are not prerequisites. A good preschool will meet children where they are socially, cognitively, and physically. 

Modern society is always thinking ahead instead of focusing on the present. It often forces lessons on our children earlier than is appropriate. This type of parenting and schooling can lead to the opposite of what parents want for their children. 

For most of us, the goal is happy, healthy, independent children. The independent part is the key, and it is often the onerous part for parents. It’s difficult to give up control and allow children to grow at their own rate. My hope is The Preschool Parent Primer will provide you with tools and resources to make the preschool years a little easier, more relaxed, and fun. So let’s begin. 

Is preschool necessary? Not always. Many children don’t attend formal preschool. Some parents do an outstanding job of including their child in everyday tasks and playgroups before heading off to Kindergarten. The key is involvement with other children. Playing well with others is an important life skill. Preschool is where children learn to negotiate social situations. We often associate happiness in life with how well one can understand and negotiate social situations.

When your child goes to preschool, she may discover some of her own likes and dislikes. Your child’s choices may surprise you. For example, dynamic, active play may intrigue a very quiet child, giving the mistaken impression that she may fear the play. She may be trying to figure out how to join in. A child who is loud and active at home can be so excited to be at school that she is quiet while taking in the new atmosphere. Try not to make assumptions about your child’s feelings as her world expands.  

Patience is key during acclimation to a new school or play situation. It is important to ask your child what she thinks and try to listen to her exact words without reading your predispositions into her new world. If she is nervous about the new play routine, you need to be a calm, supportive guide. Explain to your child that everyone is nervous in new situations. Let her know who to talk to if she has a problem or question and you are not there. 

A few years ago, a parent of one of my students told me that she, the parent, was bullied in school during her childhood. The mother came to me, concerned her child might be the victim of another child at the school. She relayed that her daughter, Maddy, said that Liam was really crazy. I hadn’t noticed any problem between the two children on the playground, but I did often see Maddy watching Liam. I talked to Maddy about Liam. It turned out that Maddy wanted to play with him. She was not used to super energetic, exciting play, like Liam’s fast running games. Maggie didn’t have the skills to join the game. It just took a little coaching on how to ask Liam if she could join in. They became fast friends at school, followed by many play dates. Maddy’s mom was relieved. 

Preschool is a time to move into a larger community. A child’s world goes beyond family and friends to an expanded group at school. It can be stressful for the child and the parents. Now your child has outside influences. Other families may eat foods your child has never seen, they may talk differently, or handle conflicts in a different way. 

It can be a challenging time for parents at first, but it’s the opportune time to let your child know why your family does things the way you do. You may get new ideas for your family, so try to keep an open mind. Preschool can be a wonderful way to build a community for your entire family, not just your child.

Preschool can bring some anxiety for both parent and child. The more anxious you are, the more anxious your child will be. You need to find a school you feel comfortable with, so your child will feel comfortable too.

In chapter 3, we focus on what to look for in a preschool. For now, let’s focus on why to send a child to a preschool. No one has to