Cool Stuff Your Parents Never Told You About Parenting

By Foong Kwin Tan

Cool Stuff Your Parents Never Told You About Parenting is written by an early childhood education expert who is a mother, a kindergarten teacher trainer, an early childhood educator and a kindergarten curriculum developer. It provides parents with in-depth understanding on how and why children learn, think and behave so differently form us, so that parents can help their children develop the necessary skills required for meeting the demands of the 21st century. This book has a unique combination of research findings, underlying principles, step-by-step guide and practical suggestions to some contemporary issues such as how parents can enhance their childrens intelligence from infancy, selecting good quality early childhood education programs, promoting creativity and character development and dealing with over exposure to the screen culture.

Specifically designed for parents, teachers, childcare workers, nannies, grandparents, parents-to-be and all those who are passionate about young children aged from zero to eight years, this book will help them understand the true nature of young children and work with them effectively.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Mar 22, 2013
• ISBN: 9781479789757

Foong Kwin Tan

Foong Kwin (MEd) is an early childhood education expert who has spent the past 14 years teaching and learning about early childhood education in four different countries. She is an enthusiastic advocate for play and child-centered curriculum as a means for the holistic development of children and is passionate about sharing her knowledge, expertise and experience to help others develop good parenting skills needed to bring out the best in children. www.foongkwin.com

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Foong Kwin Tan.

Library of Congress Control Number:  2013902087

ISBN:

Hardcover    978-1-4797-8974-0

Softcover     978-1-4797-8973-3

Ebook          978-1-4797-8975-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 03/19/2013

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-800-618-969

www.xlibris.com.au

[e-mail]

503194

Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1:  The First Thing You Need to Know About Parenting

We are expecting our first child, and we want to be the best parents that we can be but are not sure if we can do enough. If you could give parents the single-most valuable advice, what would it be?

Chapter 2:  Facilitating Learning From Infancy

Babies eat, sleep, and poop. Do they learn anything else during their early months, or do they merely need someone to tend to their physical needs?

Chapter 3:  Infant Attachment

Why does my toddler cry and feel so insecure whenever I leave her with someone else?

Chapter 4:  Getting a Grip on Temper Tantrums in Toddlers

Why is my child starting to go against my will, do exactly the opposite of what I ask of him, and throw a tantrum whenever he doesn’t get his way?

Chapter 5:  Well-Behaved Children

Why are some preschoolers so fussy in public, and how can we teach them to be well-behaved?

Chapter 6:  Raising Responsible Children Who Are Good Decision-Makers

I want my child to be responsible. Where do I start?

Chapter 7:  Cultivating Respectful Children

Respect is such a difficult subject to teach young children. What approach should I take?

Chapter 8:  Teaching Children About Getting Along With Others

How can we teach young children about acceptance, tolerance, and learning to get along with others?

Chapter 9:  Increasing Your Child’s Intelligence

What can I do to optimise my child’s learning so that I can bring out the best in him?

Chapter 10:  Learning to Move, Moving to Learn

More and more of my friends are sending their children to soccer and gym classes and sports camps at a very early age. Are physical activities really that important for young children?

Chapter 11:  Children of the Cell

I have read many conflicting reports about the early exposure of young children to the screen culture. Is there a way we can bring up well-balanced children while our society embraces globalisation?

Chapter 12:  Fostering Creativity in Young Children

Personally, I am not a very creative person, but I would really like my child to be. How do I foster creativity in my child?

Chapter 13:  The Dilemma of Play—Vs. Academic-Based Curriculum

I don’t understand how relying solely on a play-based approach or curriculum can prepare a child adequately for the demands of formal schooling.

References

Acknowledgements

About the Author

This new parenting book has a very practical approach. The author, Tan Foong Kwin who is both a parent and a very experienced early childhood teacher, has written a very engaging book for parents. I like the conversational style in which the book is written with lots of useful ideas and tips for day-to-day parenting. I think parents will find it very enjoyable and an easy read. It is organised in a powerful way with lots of information about child development that supplements the practical applications in the book chapters. The breadth of topics covered addresses many common concerns that parents have about how to optimise their child’s learning potential and to raise a socially well adjusted child—Donna Berthelsen PhD, Professor of Early Childhood Education, Queensland University of Technology.

Cool Stuff Your Parents Never Told You About Parenting is an easy-to-read, engaging and practical guide to raising young children today. Foong Kwin Tan, an experienced educator of young children, has written a valuable book that should be a welcomed addition not only to curious and anxious first time parents but also professionals such as kindergarten teachers and childcare workers.  All thirteen chapters provide some great tips about how to parent responsible, thoughtful and well-behaved children. Cool Stuff has my highest recommendation.—Associate Professor Lisa C. Ehrich, School of Learning & Professional Studies, Queensland University of Technology.

Cool Stuff! This book is spot on—Teresa Chin, Chief Editor of Parenthood & Mami Baby, Malaysia.

For good and effective parenting, the role of parents is fast changing in this period of rapid socioeconomic transition. From infancy spent at home to early childhood and adolescence at school, parents are considered the primary facilitators in nurturing the growth of a child. As the warmth of joint-family has been eroded particularly in urban and semi-urban areas and children now place much greater demands on parents, this is a one to one interactive book aimed at parents and teachers taking into view their individual perspectives while dealing with factors that can have a positive bearing in achieving the immediate and long term goals of your child.—Dr Prema J Kumar, MBBS, DCH, DFH, Consultant Pediatrician, Kerala, India. 

A wonderful, easy to read, entertaining book that combines developmental theories with down to earth applicable play-learn activities for all parents. A must read book.—Judy Chow-Fairhall, Educational & Developmental Psychologist, M.Psych (Monash), RN, RPN. Reg Mem of APS (CEDP), HKPS (DEP), ISH, VAFT.

Great parenting is about creating special moments that bond us with our children, moments that they feel loved, competent and confident. What a wonderful way to learn some of the cool stuff from the author!—Carmee Lim, Founder & Chief Education Officer of Aoede Music™ Enterprise Pte Ltd, Singapore.

Cool Stuff is written from the heart of a parent and a teacher. Why complicate things with raising children, when it can be easier! Choose your challenges and take advice from this book. Foong Kwin Tan keeps raising kids real and provides advice that we can all use—Natasha Smith, Director of Life on Lantau magazine, Hong Kong.

This book is dedicated to my wonderful husband, Jim, and to my two amazing boys, Charles and Kevin who inspire me endlessly.

Introduction

I have spent a huge part of my life learning about young children, and I am still learning. There is so much to learn and so much to share with others who work with children, be it parents or teachers or nannies or even grandparents! I often ask parents who attend my talks or workshops if they have ever wondered why some form of professional training is almost always required for just about any profession in the world except parenthood. Is this because people don’t realise the magnitude of the role and responsibility of being a parent? Or perhaps many parents still hold on to the hope that good parenting skills are miraculously bestowed upon parents the day that their child arrives into their lives? Or maybe parents perceive young children as mini adults, functioning just like adults and relating to them would be no different than relating to another adult?

In my years of teaching young children, I have often been approached by parents with lots of questions about parenting and teaching their children. However, I rarely have time to address these issues in depth with parents when they drop off or pick up their children from my class. As such, I have compiled these questions, and for the past two years, I have been writing and self-publishing parenting bulletins which address these questions and others that came along the way. My articles, which discuss the needs of young children aged zero to eight years, have been distributed to kindergartens and published in parenting magazines in Hong Kong and Malaysia.

Cool Stuff Your Parents Never Told You About Parenting is a compilation of all the articles I have written over the years, and I have included many more ideas which parents can use along the way. This book is also intended as a guide for kindergarten teachers, childcare workers, and nannies so that they can increase their awareness about children’s learning and developmental needs and be better able to educate parents who may have similar questions to the ones addressed in this book.

The truth is that there is no secret to good parenting, and there are no ‘quick fixes’ to the challenges parents face with their children. There are only underlying principles about how children work, how they think, how they learn, how they feel, and how they relate to themselves and to others. The topics in this book are discussed in relation to these underlying principles and how these principles can be applied over and over again in different scenarios.

Chapter 1 discusses how children fundamentally think, play, and learn and how some overly proactive parents tend to stifle their learning process (without even realising it) and how we can scaffold them while they learn valuable life lessons. Chapter 2-4 deals with how infants’ and toddlers’ experiences and interactions affect their early formative years. These chapters also provide many answers to parents who may be struggling to understand their pre-schooler. In chapter 5 and 6, parents’ concerns about raising children who are mature, well-behaved, and responsible are addressed. A variety of suggestions are discussed in detail for parents who would like to increase their children’s learning opportunities to cultivate these character traits.

Children’s social skills are discussed in chapters 7 and 8, cultivating respect, acceptance, and tolerance as the main ingredients in getting along with others. Chapters 9, 10, and 11 challenges the common assumptions about intelligence and conventional methods used to increase children’s intelligence. It focuses on how parents can truly optimise children’s learning. Issues regarding children’s exposure to screen culture such as TV, video games, and computers are also addressed. This book concludes with the last two chapters which discuss how we can bring out the natural creative nature in our children, paying special attention to the opportunities which we can provide at home as well as to the selection of kindergarten curriculums which encourages children’s holistic and creative development.

It is my ultimate hope that by sharing my observations from years of working with young children and parents from different countries and cultural backgrounds, coupled with research findings and insights from contemporary early childhood experts, parents will be able to understand that their children are very unique beings who work very differently from us adults and that this book will provide parents with the information and knowledge that they need to be confident and competent parents.

Chapter 1

The First Thing You Need to Know About Parenting

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