The Art of Divine Selfishness - Transform Your Life, Your Business & the World by Putting You First: The Art of Divine Selfishness, #2

By Brigitte van Tuijl

Get Selfish.

 

Do you feel you don't have enough time and feel drained at the end of the day? Do you shortchange your dreams and desires to meet the expectations and demands of others? If so, it's time to get selfish. Divinely Selfish.

When you prioritize yourself you gain access to a rich reservoir of energy and joy that wasn't available before. This helps you create a business and life you adore without sacrificing or compromising anything! 

 

This book gives you the mindset, habits and actions you need to put yourself first, tap into your own deep well of aliveness and energy, and create what you want from a place of freedom and joy. You'll learn how to shed the fears, doubts and guilt trips that lower your vibe and drain you. You'll discover how to live your life in your own way, on your own terms. You'll feel happier and freer than ever before!

 

Brigitte van Tuijl is a writer and master coach for women entrepreneurs. In the past two decades she's helped thousands of women get clear on their true dream and make it real. Her clients have launched businesses globally, published their first books, doubled their incomes, and realized their most important goals and desires. 

 

She learned to be Divinely Selfish eons ago and coaches women to create businesses and lives they love by becoming more selfish since 2001. She lives in The Netherlands with her man Arjen. She hates hobbies and loves people—in moderation. :-) 

 

The Art of Divine Selfishness is Brigitte's fourth book. It's the second book in the Art of Divine Selfishness series. Each book can be read as a stand-alone book. 

 

You can find Brigitte online at yourwayornoway.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brigitte van Tuijl
• Release date: Mar 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9789083065458

Book preview

Also by Brigitte van Tuijl

Ontdek Wat Je Écht Wilt En Maak Daar (Je) Werk Van

The Gap - bridge the space between where you are and where you want to be

The Art of Divine Selfishness Series

Book One: Unmute Your Life - break free from fear & go for what you REALLY want

Copyright © Brigitte van Tuijl 2021

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission by the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

ISBN Paperback: 978-90-830654-4-1

ISBN e-book: 978-90-830654-5-8

Visit www.booksbybrigitte.com for more books by the author

For additional gifts, visit www.selfishbookgift.com

The information provided in this book is designed to inspire, educate, motivate, and enlighten you on the subjects discussed. It’s not meant as a substitute for professional coaching or other expert assistance. If such level of assistance is required, please seek the services of a competent professional or contact the author directly for one-to-one coaching options. The author assumes no liability for use of the information and exercises.

Copy editor: Kelly Urgan

Cover design: Susan D. Johnson

Interior Design by FormattedBooks.com

Contents

Introduction

What is Divine Selfishness?!

The Downside of Not Being Divinely Selfish

How Being Divinely Selfish Transforms Your Life, Your Business, & the World

How I Learned to Be Divinely Selfish

Part 1 — The Habits, Tips, and Mindset You Need to Become Divinely Selfish

Introduction to Part One

Chapter 1 Give Yourself Permission

Chapter 2 Put Your Soul First

Chapter 3 Embrace and Accept All of Who You Are

Chapter 4 Cut Out the Intolerable

Chapter 5 Connect with YOURSELF First

Chapter 6 Own Your Power

Chapter 7 Honor Your Truth

Chapter 8 Let Go of Shame

Chapter 9 Let Go of Guilt

Chapter 10 Stop Toning Down Your Personality and Stop Being Someone You’re Not

Chapter 11 Self-Love

Chapter 12 How to Cut People Out of Your Life

Chapter 13 Trust Yourself

Chapter 14 Worthiness

Chapter 15 You Don’t Have to Change so Other People Can Be Happy (and Vice Versa)

Chapter 16 Allow Yourself to Have What You Really Want

Chapter 17 Do It For YOURSELF

Chapter 18 Courage

Chapter 19 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Chapter 20 Don’t Let Anyone Tell You What to Do

Chapter 21 Be Willing to Disappoint, Offend, and Disrupt

Chapter 22 Follow Your Own Rhythm and Pace

Chapter 23 Stop People Pleasing

Chapter 24 Know Your Non-Negotiables and Stick to Them

Chapter 25 Allow Yourself to Be Angry

Chapter 26 Saying No and Accepting No, Too

Chapter 27 Saying Yes

Chapter 28 Your Core Values

Chapter 29 Don’t Settle

Chapter 30 Prioritize Yourself

Chapter 31 Be Unapologetic

Chapter 32 It’s Okay to Break a Promise

Chapter 33 You’re the Boss

Chapter 34 Screw the Rules

Chapter 35 Fire Your Inner Critic

Chapter 36 Balance Giving and Receiving

Chapter 37 Don’t Be Afraid to Take Up Your Space

Chapter 38 Take Full Responsibility

Chapter 39 Let Go of Responsibility

Chapter 40 Stop Caring about What Others Think

Chapter 41 Stop Trying to Be Everything to Everyone

Chapter 42 Speak Up and Be More Assertive

Chapter 43 Boundaries

Chapter 44 Take No Shit

Part 2 — Questions, Fears, Concerns

Introduction to Part Two

Chapter 1 The Fear You Have to Choose Between Yourself OR Others

Chapter 2 The Fear of Letting Others Down

Chapter 3 The Fear of People Judging You

Chapter 4 The Fear of Not Being Liked

Chapter 5 The Fear of Conflict or Confrontation

Chapter 6 The Fear of Being Criticized

Chapter 7 The Fear of Disapproval

Chapter 8 The Fear of Rejection

Chapter 9 The Fear of Looking Selfish

Chapter 10 The Fear of Losing People

Chapter 11 The Fear of Disappointing Others

Chapter 12 Other Fears and Objections

What’s Next?

Other Books by Brigitte

Introduction

In the past twenty years of coaching women, I noticed that several themes were always part of our work together. Being true to yourself and your dreams regardless of what others think. Doing your own thing and honoring what’s right for you, even when others disapprove. Prioritizing your dreams, yourself, and your self-care, instead of putting yourself aside for others (or your to-do list) at your own detriment.

Honoring yourself and your desires—let alone putting yourself first!—is something most women find tricky. They’re afraid to be criticized and no longer be liked. They’re afraid of their power and often put other people’s needs before their own. This leaves them feeling tired and longing for more freedom at best, and resentful, angry, and burned out at worst.

The reason this is an issue for most women is because women have been silenced, marginalized, and suppressed for centuries. (And today we’re still not being treated as equals in all areas of our society, let alone in all countries on the planet!) This has left its mark on all women. We learned to fear our power, dim our light, tone down our personalities and make ourselves smaller. This hurts our sense of freedom and every other area of our life. From the outside it may seem like this doesn’t bother many women. They have a wonderful life and career. But that doesn’t mean they feel happy, free, or fulfilled. It doesn’t mean they don’t worry about being liked. And it doesn’t mean they have enough time for themselves.

I think it’s about time this changes. There’s no need to burn yourself up trying to be someone you’re not. It’s absolutely possible to create a business and life that brings you more freedom, fulfillment, happiness, and joy—without feeling guilty, changing who you are, doing things you hate or wearing yourself out. On the contrary, you can achieve these things by being MORE true to yourself, and by honoring yourself, your needs, and your dreams more than ever before!

You become more yourself by letting go of expectations you don’t want to live up to. By no longer changing who you are to fit in. By no longer toning down your true self, your zest for life, your potential for success, or your well-being or joy.

This book helps you achieve that. It shows you how to let go of behaviors that no longer serve you. It helps you see yourself for who you truly are and how to be even more true to yourself. You learn how to release feelings of guilt and the fear of making waves. You connect with yourself and your desires on a much deeper level. And you learn how to act on this deeper connection as well!

When you do this, you become what I call Divinely Selfish: you put yourself, your soul, first. As a result, you gain more freedom, happiness, well-being, and joy. You feel more powerful and energized. You benefit when you become Divinely Selfish. So do your business, your life, people around you, and even the world!

In the following chapters I explain what Divine Selfishness is, and how it’s different from regular selfishness (which is NOT what I promote). We dive deeper into the downsides of not being Divinely Selfish. I also explain how everyone benefits when you put yourself first, and I share how I learned to be Divinely Selfish.

Then, I take you on a journey that shows you how you, too, can put yourself, your needs, your dreams, and desires first. So you transform in the best ways—and the people and the world around you can benefit from your transformation.

Get ready for more inner freedom, power, and joy. For more time for yourself and less stressing over things you’re not responsible for. You’re about to go through a metamorphosis and are in for a liberating ride. Buckle up and enjoy!

To being Divinely Selfish,

so you can serve without suffering,

and feel happy, free, and fulfilled.

Love,

Brigitte

What is Divine Selfishness?!

This is the second book in The Art of Divine Selfishness series. So, what exactly is Divine Selfishness, and how does this book fit in?

Divine Selfishness means to put your soul first. To live the life your soul chose to experience. To live YOUR life, instead of a life others want, or expect, you to live. To do that, you need to put yourself first: your needs, wants, desires, and your truth, which is, of course, the selfish part of Divine Selfishness. The Divine part has to do with the fact that you put your soul first. You come from your heart. When you do this, you automatically contribute to the well-being of all.

The universe doesn’t make mistakes. Every living being has a place and a purpose, which is ALWAYS to contribute to the whole. When you put your soul first, when you put yourself first, you automatically serve others. You serve others by being who you truly are and doing what you most love! Just like bees and bananas have their place in the unity that is life and contribute to it by simply being who they are.

Being Divinely Selfish means you can serve without suffering, without changing who you are, without doing things you hate. Being Divinely Selfish is quite the contrary! You follow your joy, your heart, the path your soul lays out for you.

This differs vastly from the selfishness that comes from fear, lack, neediness, or greed. Shallow self-centeredness serves only one person: you. Selfishness is disconnected from the heart, from the soul, from love. But Divine Selfishness? Serves all.

You can, of course, only do what you love when (a) you know what you want—what you REALLY want, and (b) you honor it. That’s why the first book in this series, Unmute Your Life - break free from fear & go for what you REALLY want, focused purely on those two topics.

Once you know what you truly want, you still need practical skills and tools to help you put yourself first, such as saying NO, setting boundaries, and more. That’s where this book comes in. It helps you liberate yourself from habits, beliefs, and behaviors that no longer serve you and make you feel unfulfilled, unhappy, and unfree. Learning to be Divinely Selfish fulfills you, and helps you serve others at a higher level, too!

The Downside of Not Being Divinely Selfish

When you don’t put yourself first, it’s easy to get overworked and feel tired. You lose energy and don’t have enough time for yourself. You often feel you don’t get enough in return from the effort you put in and you can start to feel resentful.

You