Unmute Your Life - Break Free From Fear & Go for What You Really Want: The Art of Divine Selfishness, #1

By Brigitte van Tuijl

If you long for something different, something more…

..but you don't know where to start, this book will guide you in creating the life of your dreams.

 

It's a complete toolkit to help you:

* Identify what you want.
* Remove obstacles & fears that keep you from getting what you want.
* Manifest your desires (even if you don't know where to start).

Full of inspiration, exercises and journal prompts, this book ignites your inner knowing and ability to realize your goals.

Forget about settling and compromising. Forget about what you think is possible.

Open your heart, open your mind. Reconnect to that beautiful dream your soul has for you. And GO for it!

It's time. You're ready. You just need a guide to show you the way.

 

This book is that guide.

 

It's the first book in the Art of Divine Selfishness series. Each book can be read as a stand-alone book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brigitte van Tuijl
• Release date: Jul 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9789083065403

Book preview

Introduction to Part One

The answers you seek are inside you already.

You don’t have to find them. You only have to let them rise to the surface.

This book is not about what you want. It’s about what you REALLY want. It’s about living your truest, and perhaps even secret, dreams. The exercises and journal prompts in this part of the book help you uncover them.

Do one, some, or all of the exercises. Pick whatever speaks to you, and if you think you already know what you want, then skip this part. Do yourself a BIG favor in that case and check if what you want is actually what you really want—or a watered-down version of it. You can check that by answering the following question: If nothing scared me, if I felt completely free to do whatever I wanted, and I trusted everything would always work out perfectly for me, what would I truly want? If you’re not sure, give yourself the opportunity to dive deeper. To dream bolder. See what comes up when you give yourself permission to dream as wild as you can.

What You Need to Find Out What You Truly Want

Allow yourself to dream freely, unrestricted. Forget about what seems practical, doable, or realistic. Be curious about what your deepest dreams might be. Be open to whatever comes up, without judging it, or criticizing yourself for it. Explore your inner world without agenda or expectations. Get to know what is true for YOU.

Before You Dive In, Here’s One Important Thing I Want You to Know

You do NOT have to be super crystal clear on all the details of your dream before you can go for it. You really don’t! Some people say you have to know every detail about your goals or dreams. That you have to be as specific as you can, make it measurable, set a deadline, and create a path to get there.

Bullshit.

You don’t. If you know all that? Cool. But if you don’t? No problem! You can still move forward using the steps in Part Two. If you need more clarity, it will come to you along the way.

Divinely Selfish Declarations

You will see these on the bottom of most chapters. They are meant to uplift you and to give you a positive perspective on yourself and on the realization of your dreams. You can simply read through them. If there’s one that stands out for you, you can use it as an affirmation. Read it out loud or write it out a couple of times every day, until it feels natural to you. That means you have integrated this new belief fully and no longer need to remind yourself of it.

I am no longer willing to settle for anything less than what I REALLY want.

I open myself up to my deepest dreams.

I give myself full permission to dream as big, as small, or as crazy as I want.

I allow myself to receive EVERYTHING I want and need—and then some. :-)

I am worthy of a life beyond my wildest dreams!

Chapter 1

Create a Dream Journal

A dream journal is an excellent tool that allows you to record your dreams without censoring or editing what comes up, which can happen when your dream triggers questions or fears. It can be a notebook, a binder, or a document on your laptop. Pick what you like best. For me, it was a bright blue, two-ring binder filled with unlined sheets of paper. I liked that I could easily add new notes and ideas to it. And I’m a sucker for writing things by hand.

In your dream journal, you collect EVERYTHING that has ANYTHING to do with your true dream, no matter how random or illogical it seems. It can be anything, for example:

a feeling

an idea for something you’d love to do

a song that reminds you of your dream

an inspiring interview, quote, or book.

The only criterium is that you feel it resonates with what you most love and want. When I created my dream journal in 2011, I knew that the dream I was looking for was already inside me—and this is true for you, too! All I had to do was allow it to rise to the surface, unrestricted and uncensored, and NOT to mess up the process by thinking about practicalities like, But how can I . . . ? or But what if . . . ?

Every time I had an idea or random thought about something I loved to do, I put it in that binder. I’d love to work with women entrepreneurs. It would be so cool to write more books!

I also added ideas for books and things I’d love to teach others. I put it all in that binder without giving it another thought and kept adding notes, insights, and ideas whenever they came up.

One day, about three months after I began the journal, I felt it was time to go through it. As I did, my dream became clear while reading through this collection of seemingly random notes that contained everything I needed to know: who I wanted to work with, and what I most wanted to teach them. It was also clear that I wanted to reach women all over the globe.

I could deeply feel that this was what I REALLY wanted. I said YES! to that dream and took action. I switched from working in Dutch to working in English. I changed my audience, made a new website, and launched a new program for my new audience. Where did I get the ideas for that program and its content and copy I could use for the sales page? They were all in my dream journal already! Having a dream journal works.

Here are some guidelines to create your own.

Put in everything that feels connected to what you love and dream of.

It doesn’t have to make sense or feel realistic or doable. The only criteria are: Does it resonate with you? Does it touch something in your heart? Do you feel it tells you something true about you? If yes, in it goes. Also add your answers to the exercises and journal prompts from this book and all insights that come up for you.

Analyze nothing.

Don’t try to explain or make sense of anything you put in. Don’t think about what it means or if it’s possible. Don’t think about it at all! Your journal is a safe container for your dream, a space where it can blossom, grow, and mature with no interference—not even from you.

Give it time.

Maybe you don’t need to let it rest for three months like I did. Maybe you only need to let it rest for two weeks. It doesn’t matter how long you wait, as long as there’s some time between putting in new notes and rereading what you put in. That allows you to see it with fresh eyes and makes it easier to see the big picture. So continue to add things as long as feels right and wait AT LEAST one week before reading.

Have fun with your dream journal and make it as pretty as you like. Play with it! Remember that the same is true for you as was for me: the answers you seek are inside you already. You don’t have to find them. You only have to let them rise to the surface and into your awareness.

Chapter 2

Start with What You DON’T Want

Sometimes it’s easier to list what you don’t want than what you dream of, which is perfect because you can use that information to improve your business and life.

Here’s what you need to do.

First make a list of everything you don’t like. Give yourself permission to be picky. This doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful or are asking for too much. You’re simply looking at areas for improvement. You owe it to yourself to create a wonderful life, and this exercise helps you do that.

Next, for every item on your list answer the questions below. Don’t worry about repeating yourself. This is not about giving unique answers. This is about connecting to your truth and your desires.

What is it you don’t like about this? Be as specific as you can.

How does it make you feel?

How do you want to feel instead?

Is there something, anything, you can change that will make you love it?

What is it you want instead?

When you look at the answers you gave, what insights did you get? What jumps out for you? What does this tell you about what you truly want?

Finally, make a list of actions based on these insights. What action can you take right now? What’s the smallest step you can take that will make you feel better? Do that. Take the other steps whenever you feel inspired to do so.

Chapter 3

Interview

Imagine that your favorite journalist or host interviews you about the biggest accomplishment of your life. Who would interview you? Where? This can be a real person interviewing you for an existing newspaper, podcast or TV show, or something you completely make up. One optional step is to write out the interview as if it really happened.

What would the headline of that interview be?

What is that big accomplishment they interview you about?

Why did you pick that? Why does that matter to you?

Is there anything else you talk about in this interview?

What did this exercise reveal to you? And what does this tell you about what you really want?

Chapter 4

The End

This exercise may seem morbid, but it’s powerful. So give it a go. Imagine it’s the end of your life: your well-lived life. A life that brought you all the love, fun, happiness, joy, and fulfillment you can think of.

Imagine that you’re looking back and ask yourself, What is it I’m looking back on, exactly? Write down everything that comes up. Answering the following questions can help.

What are you most grateful for?

What experiences made you most happy?

What are you most proud of?

What are you glad to have done?

What are you glad you didn’t do?

What did you accomplish in your personal life that fills you with joy?

What did you accomplish in your business or work that fills you with joy?

What legacy, if any, do you leave behind?

How will you be remembered by family and friends? By your clients?

What gave you most pleasure?

Write down whatever comes up. Don’t overthink, censor, or judge it. Once you’ve finished, look at what you wrote.

What stands out for you?

Does your current life look like the life you just described? If not, what needs to change? What can you do to change it?

Does your business resemble your description? If not, what needs to change?

What action(s) can you take based on the outcome of this exercise?

Chapter 5

Soul Experience

What does your soul wish to experience in this lifetime?

Close your eyes. Take a couple of deep breaths. Mull over the question. Let it brew in your mind. Get curious: What made your soul come to this planet as the person you are?

Open your eyes and on top of a blank page write, this is what my soul came to experience in this lifetime. Then write down EVERYTHING that comes up—try to fill at least two full pages.

A bullet point list is just fine. Don’t judge or censor anything. There are no wrong answers! My soul is here to enjoy great food, is just as valuable an answer as To heal the planet.

Chapter 6

My Ideal Anything

What does your life look like when it’s 100 percent ideal and fulfilling for you, whether or not it seems realistic or doable, and whether or not you believe it can happen for you? If you look at what you TRULY want, what does life look like then?

Write it down as if it’s already so. Write out the ideal scenario for every area of your business and life. Look at each area and ask yourself what these areas of your life look like. Your . . .

life in general

relationship (whether or not you currently have one)

friendships

health

home

financial situation

business

and anything else you can think of

After you write out your ideal situation, ask yourself these questions.

What stands out in this scenario?

What’s already ideal for you?

What’s not?

What’s ONE thing you can do to make your current situation (even more) ideal?

If you see other actions you can take, put them on a list. If you feel inspired to do something, you can work your way through them, step-by-step.

Chapter 7

Prize

If you could win ONE big prize (real or imagined) or reward in your life, what would it be? Why?

Chapter 8

Your Core Values

You can only feel happy and fulfilled when every aspect of your business and life are aligned with your values, especially with the ones that matter to you most. You’ll feel like something’s missing when this is not the case—even when you’re living your dream!

Values

Honoring your values begins with knowing what they are, so start by making a list of values that matter to you. Write down as many as you can think of. For example,

freedom

creativity

honesty

integrity

fun

authenticity

spirituality

Are you finding it hard to come up with different values? You can sign up to receive a free PDF with an extensive list of values to choose from at www.unmutebookgift.com

Once you’ve created a list of your values, it’s time to narrow it down to your top five. Starting at the top, go through your list and choose between the first and second value you wrote down. If you could pick ONLY ONE, which one would you choose? Keep that one in mind and compare it to the third value on your list. Ask yourself again: If you could pick only ONE, which one would you choose?

Keep the one you pick in mind, compare it to the fourth value on your list and pick one again. Continue this process until you reach the end of your list. What you’re left with is your most important value.

Repeat the same process but leave out your top value. The second value you end up with this time is your second most important value. Repeat this process until your top five list is complete.

Don’t overthink or overcomplicate it. If you’d rather pick a top seven or a top three, do that. If you change your mind later, that’s fine. If you add a value later, that’s fine, too. Nothing can go wrong. This exercise simply shows you which values you need to honor in every aspect of your business and life—or else you won’t feel happy.

Definitions

To align your business and life with your values, you also have to be clear on what your personal definition of each value is. You can clarify the definitions by answering these questions for each value.

What exactly does this value mean to you?

How can you tell