The Authentic You: Unleash Your Leadership Potential

By Kristina M Holle

Are you an authentic leader or are you following the corporate mold?

We all have the capability of being amazing authentic leaders. The difference is the leaders who choose to do the work will discover who they are at the core and enhance their leadership style.

The work of the future is demanding that we have more authentic and inspirational leaders in our organizations. We need to have people who are comfortable and confident to lead from within; as they do they will help inspire others to be their best. Organizations are changing; we have automation, technology and other tools to do the transactional work in our environments, which leaves more room for our people to lead differently.

This book will show you how to lead from within, and not follow a leadership script. True inspiration comes from those leaders who have embraced who they are and help others to do the same. This book w

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: May 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9780228845553

Kristina M Holle

Business Leader on strategic and operational HR activities, focusing on employee engagement, talent branding, and driving a culture of wellbeing.Played a key strategic role in change management initiatives, and created a multi-level approach to attaining employee feedback. Brings extensive experience on succession planning, leadership development, performance management, labor/employee relations, & transformational change.

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The Authentic You

Unleash Your Leadership Potential

Kristina M Holle

The Authentic You

Copyright © 2021 by Kristina M Holle

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-4554-6 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-4553-9 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-4555-3 (eBook)

Acknowledgment

To my family, Austin, Lauren and especially Ronnie, my supportive husband, who always helped to provide space and encouragement to get writing done. Thank you for being the best teammate in the game of life, as we tackle these new adventures. Your support makes me believe we can conquer anything.

Thanks so much to my friend J. Waters for taking the time and making the effort to read and edit my many book drafts and provide detailed comments and feedback. This book is far better thanks to you.

Special thanks to Dave who inspires me to live my life fully everyday.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgment

PART 1: The Looking Glass

Chapter 1 - The Journey Begins

Chapter 2 - Society’s reflection

Chapter 3 - Your Mirror

Chapter 4 - Own your story

Chapter 5 - The Power of Energy

Chapter 6 - Toxic Energy

PART 2: Crossing the Threshold – The Trigger Zone

Chapter 7 - The Journey

Chapter 8 - Fear

Chapter 9 - Judgment

Chapter 10 - Shame

Chapter 11 - Guilt

Chapter 12 - Apathy

PART 3: New Reflection New World

Chapter 13 - Forgiveness

Chapter 14 - Acceptance

Chapter 15 - Love & Compassion

Chapter 16 - Create the life you want to live – Manifest

Chapter 17 - Authenticity

References

PART 1

The Looking Glass

Chapter 1

The Journey Begins

Welcome to The Authentic You: Unleash Your Leadership Potential, a book about finding the best version of yourself. Through this journey, you will be able to identify your hidden strengths and use them in different ways, elevating your overall potential. You will need to own your story, accept it for what it is, and figure out what you have been hiding and may not have discovered yet. You will build your character by becoming more comfortable with who you are. Your story will help you find your authentic self and identify traits like integrity, honesty, and courage. These are all traits that will make you a better person and a better leader.

In this book, I share stories and examples of individuals who have gone on this character-building journey and others who have not. Individuals who have not done the work may be stuck, and you can see why as you learn what may be getting in their way. I also share the truths and experiences of my own journey and how it has brought me to this awakened state. I cannot write a book about being authentic and truthful without sharing parts of my story. The time to be the change you want to see in the world is now!

You have all the answers inside you; this book is merely a guide to help you access them. The more you can increase your self-awareness, the more the answers will come to you. It is about taking a good, hard look at yourself and asking yourself if you like what you see. Are you truthful about the reflection in the mirror? You cannot be authentic until you are honest, and being honest means looking at everything, not only the pretty parts, but all of it—all the weaknesses. The point is, we need to see all of you without the mask on to have you authentically align with who you are. As you dare to do this, you will be unstoppable because you will have created a foundation based on truth and honesty. You can build a beautiful life based on this foundation because you no longer have fear, judgment, guilt, or shame lurking around the corner.

The Leadership Journey

Understanding who you are translates into a leadership journey in the working world. If you can connect with who you are as a person and align with your truth, you will automatically be a better leader. People can see when leadership is not genuine and feel when it is fake. You will not be able to truly inspire and motivate others if you are not connected to yourself. You need to take a hard look within and see what is working for you and what is not.

You also need to be aware to avoid putting unresolved issues onto those around you. As a leader, you may have teams and groups of people you work with all the time, and you want to make sure you are leading with character and helping others be the best version of themselves. Until you do the work to be better and address some of these limiting behaviours from the past, you will always struggle to inspire and motivate others. If you carry toxic behaviours and negative triggers to the team, you will limit not only their growth but also your credibility.

This is a leadership book to increase your overall awareness to ensure you are on track with your values. You are learning all these skills to bring you closer to your true self. A true leader leads from the heart from a place of authenticity, truth, and compassion. A trustworthy leader does not lead from a place of unresolved issues, insecurity, fear, or resentment. Look at yourself holistically: that is the way you develop. There is no quick fix. You cannot just read a chapter in a book or an article on the top ten things leaders do and become a great leader. This book will help you become an authentic leader from within.

Once that awareness reveals itself to you, you cannot go back. This journey builds a real foundation, not one based on material things like positions, titles, and money. You could have all these accomplishments and be a horrible leader because you lack connection and your perceived success is superficial and based on exterior labelling.

Authentic Leadership

Being in the presence of an authentic, sincere, and honest person is spectacular! Some people exude their authenticity by being loud and genuine, while others are more reserved and thoughtful. Regardless of style, an authentic person has a real zest for life! They live in their truth and accept all of themselves, which makes it easy for others to do as well. The charisma they exude is fantastic because they are not trying to be perfect but are trying to be all they can be. They sparkle because they can bring their unique energy to the world and motivate and inspire others. They are comfortable in their skin! That is why we need more authentic people around, and this will be you if you do your work.

Now add in the term leadership. Can you imagine if every leader in every organization was an authentic leader? Consider how healthy our organizations would be if all of our leaders could inspire and motivate a group to be better and had the capability of navigating through challenging times while keeping the ship afloat. Authentic leaders lead from the heart and can connect with people while hitting their business goals. The work of the future is going to rely on authentic leadership to be successful. We will need individuals who will know how to connect with people and their needs. This leadership can combine heart and logic to get the best results for the business. The days of a dictatorial, old-school management style are gone. We need people who will inspire connectivity, collaboration, an open mindset, and help others be the best versions of themselves.

People want to see who you are and what you stand for in the world. Are you a leader who has character and will do the right thing when life challenges you? The connectivity with yourself and others is critical as we learn to engage and develop people in the future. Data will be there as part of the equation, but how do you share the information with others? Do you motivate and inspire the team to rally around the numbers? Storytelling and engaging your workforce is something you do not want to take for granted. You want to make sure you have the right people leading in your company. Especially now, with all the transformation going on in the world, there is a higher expectation. We need to ensure we are providing environments where we show that we relate to people and care about their well-being.

If you align your organization with authentic people, your culture will always flourish because it is one of truth and honesty. It takes away the concept of office politics, toxic behaviours, and people disliking their jobs. If people live in a place of truth, you will have the right people aligned with your organization’s values. Now is the time to evaluate how authentic you are in your leadership style.

The Journey

As you go on this journey and do the work, you will be more connected with yourself; hence, all parts of your life will benefit. Can you imagine a world with more people living in their authentic truth than one that is disingenuous? This process will take one person at a time being comfortable in their skin, and ultimately, benefitting the entire world. We would become a place where we would promote truth, love, and joy. This authentic place is one I want to live in. This change is how we get justice back into our society. We will bring truth and integrity back into our behaviours and actions and see things for what they are.

People who believe knowledge is power may want to share this knowledge, but most like to hoard it because it makes them feel like they have a step up in the world. They are stuck. Knowledge is to be shared, not used as a tool to emphasize a power dynamic. As you gain insight, you will realize these are gifts that should be shared with others to help people grow and reach their potential. Keeping information from others is about insecurities that have not been addressed. The problem is, until you do the work and identify where these insecurities are coming from, you will always be vulnerable. You will be susceptible to others who will use your insecurities against you and make you question who you are. This journey empowers you to be grounded in who you are and allows you to take risks and not be trapped by your insecurities. Be authentic and be you!

I am not a medical practitioner or a therapist; I am only a person who did the work and chose to be the best version of myself. I had guidance along the way through an exceptional coach, books, and life experience, so I will share my learnings with you to guide you through your process. The process is not super complicated: it is taking the time to self reflect and identify areas in your life where you are stuck. Where you decide to make a change in your life is your choice. You cannot keep complaining about the same thing if you are not willing to do the work. I am trying to make this process more practical and reachable to everyone to have access to it. It is not a secret; the more people who know that the answers are from within, the more people who can do the work and heal and make the world a better place.

I want to believe that doing this work, helping one person at a time get to their authentic selves, will make a difference. It will increase overall awareness of self and others and allow people to be in the right place to unleash their full potential. Everyone has the answers within, and sometimes we need a little help to unpack the answers that guide us. I live my life fully and will share my knowledge and insights with others. This book will provide a tool so others can feel empowered to impact their own lives. I want to make sure I have done my part in sharing.

What is in it for you?

Are you the best version of yourself? We wake up every day and may say we are amazing or will be the best version of ourselves. Why? Because it sounds like the right thing to say. It is one of those token phrases that make us feel better about our lives. The only way this happens is if we look at ourselves completely. I learned this only after I started to look at the real picture of who I was. When we look at the parts that we hide deep in the shadows, the fragments that we tuck away so no one will see, we fear we will be judged or looked at in a different light.

Personally, it was not until I went on this journey that I understood the beauty of accepting myself entirely. In the past, I thrived on the idea that I was the success story beating all odds, and no one ever knew my dark past. I liked the persona of looking like I had it all together. I was living my best life, at least that is what I told myself. I wonder if you asked yourself the same question if you would find yourself doing the same thing.

Not until I went into the depths of my past did I tap into my real gifts, the ones that are not shaped by societal norms or what others would expect of me to be successful. We are all beings of light, and we need to connect to that source to be the best and most genuine version of ourselves. This work means we need to look past all the hurts and disappointments and accept them and release them so we can connect to the best part of ourselves.

I was bypassing my emotions in business for over twenty years, driving forward, acting as though if I shut it away and did not look back, it would not matter as I climbed this ladder of success. Boy, was I wrong. I found myself trapped in my leadership capabilities as I was always looking for validation somehow. This need for confirmation was because I was not fully functioning as a whole person. I was looking to have others confirm I was on the right track because I stopped listening to my inner voice.

I came to ask myself, what is the script, the mold I was aspiring to fit into? Why, are we better people if we fit into the expectations of the corporate world? What happens to our colourful, creative side, the part that deviates from our traditional way of work? We have scrubbed that away to make it extremely easy for people to conform to our society or workplace. Think about when you see children who are free and vibrant and full of expression. They sing and dance and are free to explore who they are without influence. Their inner light is strong, healthy, and beautiful! They connect to their authentic self.

Own your story

Everyone has a story; we just need to take the time to listen. There could be real gifts and learnings from each other if we would stop judging. The fear limits us from going on the explore because we may not fit the mold. The irony is that everyone has deep, dark secrets of some sort. However, we all sit there and hide them. We judge people because it makes us feel better about our situation. We all love to tell the stories where we are the hero or the smartest person in the room. But, what about the stories where we were abandoned, left behind, or rejected? The vulnerability of who you are at your core is where the treasure lies. What situations made you into who you are currently? Did you carry a fictitious narrative into your current life? Does it make you believe that you are less than what you are? Did you take the stories from the past and let them assist you to be successful? We all need to own our stories and what they have to offer and ensure that we live one of truth.

Society has done an excellent job labelling us and making us question if we are different. We are made to believe we are damaged, odd, or unconventional because we are not like everyone else, not following the prescribed societal script. We have all heard people described negatively like they are too aggressive, they are too emotional, or they are too optimistic. It can range from a full list of traits and behaviours. This is especially true in the workplace. As soon as someone says you’re an excessive amount of something, they are inferring you deviate from the norm and that this is bad. The point is that we are always being judged and trying to fit in. As you are trying to fit in so that you will not be an outcast, you automatically lose who you are. You are no longer authentic!

People will hold back from sharing all they have to offer because it is easier to fit and be more of the same than to look different and stand out. The fear is so intense that it sets a pattern. This person does not dare to live out his truth and is not fearless to break the habit. It is a vicious cycle: the more people conform, the more we lose what makes us unique and special. This contradicts what organizations are saying they want and leads to stagnated practices and limited growth. It makes it harder for people to speak their truth and be authentic. This change of behaviour and thoughts is an ongoing journey, but we need to have the courage to take the first step to discovering who we are.

You can manifest the life and career you want; all you need to do is show up with the right mindset. Be a person who will make an impact on the greater society. Untap your full potential and be you! Be courageous and go on a journey of self-discovery and see what is going to be unveiled. As you do this, you become a leader who will: