From Tragedy to Triumph: How My Wife's Courageous Battle With Rare Cancer Has Motivated Me to Live a Better Life Filled With Passion, Empathy, and Gratitude.

By Domenic C Cervoni

When Domenic’s wife, Barbie, was diagnosed with a rare cancer called thymoma for the second time in eight years at age 33, he was confused, overwhelmed, and scared. Their sons were ages 3 and 10 months, and he had just started a new position as an in-house lawyer for a large international bank. While he read tons of inspirational stories about how individuals triumphed over illness, Domenic had trouble finding resources that could help him cope with the sickness of a loved one and show him how to use that turmoil as motivation for making impactful life changes. In From Tragedy to Triumph, Domenic recounts Barbie’s courageous battle with rare cancer as a young mother and how it has motivated him to live a better life, filled with passion, empathy, and gratitude. Hundreds of thousands of people are being diagnosed with cancer every year, and Domenic hopes that they and their loved ones can use this story as a source of inspiration and healing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Nov 23, 2018
• ISBN: 9781483492889

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CERVONI

Copyright © 2018 Domenic C Cervoni.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of the author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

ISBN: 978-1-4834-9287-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-9288-9 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 11/15/2018

Introduction

(By Barbie Cervoni)

Life is a stream of fleeting moments—as one ends, a new one begins. We live every day in a temporary state, looking forward to new moments and reflecting on memorable ones. Some of us are fortunate enough to figure out a way to be present and to live each day with meaning and purpose. Although it’s not always simple, we can find a way to do this by remembering those moments that can change your life forever. These memories—the first time you held your baby in your arms, the loss of a loved one, the time you said yes to a new career, or the moment you met your true love—can shape and transform your life forever. I bet if you sat down and created a list, you could easily draft twenty or more moments in your life that left an indelible impact on who you are today. And whether these moments were good or bad, we have a unique opportunity as human beings, equipped with sophisticated minds, to seize these moments and learn from them.

For me, I’ve had many memorable moments—some excruciatingly painful both mentally and physically, and some blissfully beautiful. Some might say, such is life. You take the good with the bad and roll with it. But many of us have a harder time with this and need some help along the way. Personally, I’ve needed a lot of help with this. Sometimes, it’s not until an outside influence encourages you to reflect, really appreciate your moments, and use them as an opportunity for growth and fulfillment.

Nearly eighteen years ago, I sat in the second row, three seats from the front in Dr. Baewald’s Intro to Psychology class. I was a freshman at Loyola University and eager to learn, but I was distracted. Two rows to my right, in the last seat, sat my future husband (little did I know), Domenic Carlo Cervoni. Everything about him stuck out like a sore thumb, particularly his apparel. In a preppy-type college, Dom was definitely not keeping up with the Joneses and wearing colorful Lacoste and Polo shirts. In fact, he couldn’t have been more different. Not only was his appearance different, his self-awareness, confidence, and intelligence were pronounced, and he seemed more mature than most of our peers. He stood up when he spoke, never stuttering to defend his case (probably why he now is an attorney). I was drawn to him—attracted to his confidence. And now, eighteen years later, it’s that exact quality that I admire most about our oldest son.

That moment when I listened to Dom speak was life-changing for me. Little did I know that this young man who I was so impressed by would one day become my best friend, husband, father to my children, and my biggest advocate.

This man would be the one I opened my eyes to the first, second, and third time I had surgery for cancer. He would hold my hand and walk with me every day for five weeks when I received radiation treatment. He would carry me when I was too weak to walk and hold me at night when I shook and sweat profusely. He would take me to the hospital and listen to me cry out and ease my fears when I would ask him if I was dying. He would pray for me and have others pray for me. He would hug me while I cried reading my medical reports. He would be mommy and daddy to our kids when I couldn’t. And, although I cry as I write this and can still feel that pain when I think about it, I remember those moments and feel grateful that I have a supportive, loving husband to fight with me. He also would be the one to suggest that we use our story to foster change, hope, and love in people’s lives.

If I am being 100 percent honest, it didn’t sit well with me the first time Dom mentioned writing this book. I simply thought, How could my husband use my suffering to benefit his life? And then, after some self-reflection and self-healing, I understood, and instead I thought How could he not? How could he not use this terrible, frightening life situation to generate some good? After what we have been through, how could he not embrace life’s simple pleasures? And how could he not share them with the world? If this book can help just one person to live a more fulfilling life, then he has done his job.

Living with a chronic condition is so hard, and I’d be lying if I said that we never get down. We are far from perfect and, as humans, it’s only natural to feel low from time-to-time. But we are fortunate to continue to have moments that bring hope and help us cope. This book does just that—it’s a reflection of those memorable moments that have helped us heal, grow, and be present. It’s a flashback to a conversation, an encounter with a healer, and the kind words of a friend that leave a mark on your soul and help you to change your life. Everyone is capable of changing their lives, but it takes work, perseverance, and faith.

I couldn’t be more proud of my husband, though I am not surprised that he did what he set out to do. When Dom wants something and is passionate about something, he sets a goal and makes it happen. And that’s what he did when he wrote this book. He wanted our children to know how hard mommy fought for them and how our family came together in the face of the hardest challenge we’ve had to endure. Most of all, he wants to help inspire those who are suffering to remember those moments and use them to come out stronger. And that in itself is another memorable moment—the time we took something really bad and made it good.

So, dig in, and be inspired.

Chapter 1

Meet My Wife, the Warrior

It doesn’t only take a village to raise a family, it also takes one to fight cancer.

(Tricia McCoy)

In 2007, Barbie was studying to become a registered dietician at New York University (NYU). In the fall of that year, she began to complain of chest pain, rapid heartbeat, and shortness of breath. I was a wide-eyed 25-year-old first year attorney at a big law firm in NYC, amped to start my career. I didn’t think much of it.

She went for an x-ray, which revealed a slight shadow in her thoracic region. The technician surmised that it was nothing, but he nevertheless advised her that she should see a doctor to confirm. Barbie was nervous—she’s always had an eerily keen sense of her physical state, and something didn’t feel right. Again, I shrugged it off as probably nothing, and told her not to worry. But, heeding the technician’s advice and her instincts, Barbie made an appointment with a thoracic specialist.

After running some tests, the doctor confirmed that it was, in fact, something—a cyst sitting on her thymus gland just behind her breastbone. The thymus gland is important for pre-pubescent immune health, though it becomes non-functional in adulthood. The doctor suggested that, although innocuous, Barbie should have the cyst removed through a fairly straightforward procedure called laparoscopy. Easy as pie, the doctor suggested.

In February 2008, Barbie and I went to the hospital to have the procedure done. We weren’t