Relationship Wisdom : 51 Tips to Enrich Your Relationships and Make Life Easier

By Jerilyn Thiel

Relationships are the one constant in life. Everywhere we go and everything we do involves a relationship of some kind. These diverse relationships include friendships, extended family, co-workers, spouse, kids, and a vital one, the relationship with yourself. Through the tips in this book, you'll learn that making a few adjustments will completely alter the dynamics of any relationship. A few key points from this book include: communicating more effectively, shifting perspective and how that will impact your relationships, valuing yourself and others, tools for the times you are in a disagreement with anyone, how to enjoy being single, the powerful journey of being a parent, and many other proactive steps to healthier, happier relationships. The tips and actions steps in this book are widely varied and have been created for anyone wanting to make positive changes in the dynamics of any relationship. With practice and a willingness to try something new - change can, and will, occur with relative ease.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 12, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257557752

Book preview

Jerilyn

Section 1

Relationship Wisdom for All of Your Relationships

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The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.

~John Dewey

When you blame others, you give up your power to change.

~Author Unknown

Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.

~Virginia Satir

Chapter 1

Reality Check

"If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten." This quote rocked my world in 1989 and literally changed who I was at the core of my being. I was on the verge of going after the biggest, scariest goal I’d ever set for myself: self-employment. This was a different world from the one I grew up in and the one I was currently involved in - the one that contained a steady paycheck. On top of that, I had self-doubt, asking: Who do you think you are to embark on this bold path?

Yet I knew if I didn’t make the leap, I would always regret it and I would feel like I wasn’t living up to my potential. I was waffling back and forth about what to do when I walked into my bank, and this quote said the very thing I needed to hear. I vividly remember thinking, If I am going to have the life I really want, I must be willing to do things differently. So even though I was scared and way outside my comfort zone, I quit my job. That change was one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. It literally changed everything in my life for the better, because I was willing to travel down a path I’d never gone down before.

Now it’s your turn: If you continue to do what you’ve always done in your relationships, you’re going to get what you’ve always gotten. So where are your relationships begging for some new skills? What old tried and true methods are completely outdated and no longer effective? Where are you losing connections with others because you don’t know how to make those connections better? It’s time to start asking: What am I going to change so my relationships can be different?

If you want better communication, then how are you going to learn to communicate better or differently? If you want more depth to your connections, then what will you do to add that depth? If you want more acceptance, then how are you going to be more accepting? Basically consider anything that you want more of in your relationships – anything you want to be different, anything you want to be better – and ask yourself what you’re going to do differently. Remember, if your life and your relationships are going to change, then it’s time for you to change – not your partner, friends, family, kids, or coworkers – but you! Yes, they will most likely come along on the journey and make changes too, but the first step must be taken by you. Find peace with this truth and let go of whining about why you’re the one who has to take the first step.

Remember, you’re taking action because you know your life and your relationships can be better – and you want them to be better. This is an incredibly powerful place to be. It reminds you that change starts with you. You are not powerless to improve you life; actually, it’s just the opposite – you have all the power to make your life anything you want it to be based on your willingness to do things differently. So let’s not waste another minute. Pick something you want to work on and let’s get moving. You’ll find that the benefits of taking action far outweigh the costs.

Your Action Step: Identify a relationship in which you would like to feel more connected. Ask what it is that’s stopping this connection – communication, not enough shared activities, an old hurt that needs to be forgiven, etc. – and make a plan to do something to move you in a positive direction. You could schedule a time to have a heart-to-heart conversation, or plan an activity that you know you’ll both enjoy. Perhaps it’s time to write a letter of forgiveness. Then remember to celebrate that you took action and got things