20 Days of Inner Alchemy to Create the Close, Happy and Loving Relationship You Desire

By Rhiannon RhiannonSTRyahoo.com

This book will help you to stop struggling and working on your relationship and instead create positive, lasting change at the source of all of relationship issues: you as a partner.
This book will help you to become the kind of woman or man that has the relationship you desire by teaching you to:
* shift your mindset and this will cause you to naturally act in new ways that will create a close and loving relationship.
* to take control of your moods before you react
* forgive quickly and return to good feelings
* apologize in a way that will wipe the slate clean
* reach a state of acceptance and unconditional love for your parnter
* see the best in your mate
* inspire more love from your mate
* bring out the best in him/her
* experience more joy, play and laughter in your relationship
* fall in love with yourself as you improve the relationship
* quit the self defeating behaviors that destroy relationships
* shine your lovable, authentic self instead of "shrinking" and becoming lost in your relationship
* to decide what you truly want in a relationship and develop a plan to get it
* adopt empowering beliefs that will help you to love and connect more deeply and have a relationship that is better on every level
* remain aligned with a loving and joyful relationship on a daily basis by developing new, empowering habits
* tap into your inner guidance and make the best decisions for yourself and your relationship

The change this book will help you to stop struggling. People try to force ourselves (and the other person) to change their behaviors. There are two things wrong with this approach: first it is not sustainable and second, this will only create change on the surface. Although your behaviors are what ultimately create your relationship, you want to get to the source of your behaviors. Changing your behaviors without getting to the source is like trying to bail out a flooded boat without finding and fixing the leak. You'll struggle, and eventually give up.
Imagine how amazing your relationship would be if you could align your thoughts, moods, beliefs, intentions and actions with love, joy, peace, passion and harmony until it becomes effortless. This is what this book offers instruction on. If you follow through and do the exercises in this book regularly, the results WILL be a joyful, close and loving relationship.
The principals in this book are mental, emotional and spiritual and they will require a new way of thinking on your part. They will challenge you to go much deeper than you are likely accustomed to. This isn't about "getting" someone to fall in love with you, it's about becoming the kind of partner that sustains true love for a lifetime.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rhiannon RhiannonSTRyahoo.com
• Release date: Jul 20, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311627193

Rhiannon RhiannonSTRyahoo.com

Rhiannon’s mission is to help you to become the best partner that you possibly can be to create a relationship that others envy. She reaches over 10,000 readers worldwide on her blog, and leads classes and workshops that teach relationship improvement skills. She’s been featured in Tiny Buddha and The Unfiltered Lens among others. She has started the Thankful Thursday initiative through Crossroads RI to support love and positivity in the community.With loving and soulful advice, Rhiannon inspires thousands to take charge of their unconscious habits in relationships by boosting their attraction and relationship skills, ditching the blame game and inject love and joy into their every day lives.

Book preview

20 Days of Inner Alchemy to Create the Close,

Happy and Loving Relationship You Desire

Rhiannon Smith

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2014 Rhiannon Smith

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

Table of Contents

My Story

How to Use This Book

Why Inner Work Works

The Ultimate Intention

Chapter 1: Be Present

Chapter 2: Self Love

Chapter 3: Decide What You Want

Chapter 4: Aligning Further

My Story

As a young girl, having a romantic relationship with a man was something that I fantasized about often. My perfect partner would surely just appear one day and make all of my dreams would come true. Of course we would fall in love, get married and live happily ever after.

At some point in my childhood I developed a belief that marriage meant lasting happiness. All this love and joy I was sure marriage would bring me would just come naturally and wouldn't require much effort. This fairy tale view of marriage was so incredibly appealing to me that I longed for it even in my earliest relationships with the opposite sex.

It followed me into adulthood, and I married a man that I knew wasn’t right for me. At first it was exciting to be someone’s wife and to have a husband, but my high expectations quickly created tremendous disappointment for me. We both demanded that the other change and the relationship quickly became one filled with resentment and contempt.

After struggling to work on our relationship and seeing no improvement, we separated and eventually divorced. I was devastated and bitterly blamed him for the divorce; he was the bad guy and I the innocent victim. I lacked the awareness necessary to examine my own actions.

Because the divorce felt like something that just happened that had little to do with what I had done, I learned nothing from it except to fear entering into another relationship. The only thing that I knew for sure was that I never wanted to go through such a painful experience again. However, I had no idea that I had any power to prevent it.

The world of men and relationships felt very scary and I was apprehensive when I re-entered the dating world. In what I now understand was an attempt to protect myself, I made terrible judgments and generalizations about relationships and men as a whole. My reality reflected these hateful thoughts and in the year following my divorce, I dated men who were perfect examples of the stereotypes I adopted.

Even though I had left my marriage, nothing had truly changed and in fact, through my own fear and resentful feelings had grown worse. In spite of this, having a relationship with a man still remained my strong desire. However, I certainly didn’t want to repeat the past and I refused to settle for just any romantic relationship.

With absolute resolve, I vowed that I would have a healthy and loving relationship. This became my ultimate intention and I became passionately committed to learning and doing whatever I could to get me there.

For over a year I studied the ways in which a relationship between a man and woman could be improved, but was discouraged and frustrated by most of what I read. It seemed that most of what I learned required the participation of both partners. This meant that I would have to ask a man to do certain things and make changes and this simply didn’t feel right for me.

It felt uncomfortable to expect this of anyone and I knew that while this approach may work well for others, it wasn’t the one that I believed would work best for me. So, I asked myself the question: "What can me and I alone do to create a close, happy and loving relationship?" From this new focus, I shifted to learning what I could do to maintain a close, loving relationship by becoming a better partner.

As I studied and put into practice what I learned I became more and more aware of how empowered I am to create loving relationships. In fact, I learned that I always have been and always will be creating my entire life, in every moment, for better and for worse. This was a brand new way of looking at things and a brand new way of being that was incredibly exciting for me.

I was no longer concerned with trying to control or change the other. The focus was now completely on myself and what I could do to create the changes within myself and inspire change in the relationship. In other words: who must I be?

With a sense of certainty and purpose, I enthusiastically put what I was learning into consistent practice, not only with men I was interested in, but with everyone. It’s been a fascinating and enlightening journey so far, and one that I know I will forever be on.

The wisdom I have gained has been invaluable for creating positive change not only in my relationship, but in my entire life. Through my extensive studies, experiments, observations and experiences, I compiled the massive amount of information into what you are reading now.

If I had the information and wisdom when I was married that I have now, I could have taken responsibility and created an entirely different relationship. My marriage would have thrived as a result of the way that I chose to behave. He wouldn’t have had to struggle to change himself and I wouldn’t have felt it necessary to control his behaviors. If I had known how to create more love and closeness, our interactions would have changed for the better.

However, I have no regrets, it was one of the greatest lessons in my life so far. I feel deeply blessed that it happened exactly the way that it did, for it led me to where I am now, that is in a close, happy and loving relationship and helping others to have that as well.

My original intention in studying relationships was only to improve my own chances of having a loving relationship. It certainly has worked better than I ever suspected it would. I now have an amazingly close, loving and happy relationship with a man that is my best friend and I feel eternally grateful for that.

The notes I took along the way evolved into the program you are now reading. I’m thrilled to be able to share with you what I have learned about creating a closely loving relationship that has worked miracles in my own life and that I’ve observed work miracles in other’s lives as well. It's my sincerest hope that this information will inspire you to take action to create the relationship you desire.

How to Use This Book

Please understand that while I have absolute faith that everything written here will work for anyone to help them do inner work to create a happy, loving and close relationship, there is nothing in this program that you need to or even should do. I invite you to question everything, use what feels right for you and disregard what doesn’t. Blindly agree and follow and you won't absorb the information.

This book is meant to help everyone, regardless of whether or not they are single or in a relationship or a man or a woman. I use the word he and she interchangeably, but if it seems that I use he a lot it’s only because I’m a woman who has only been with men and that is what comes naturally.

If you are in a relationship, this program can help you in creating some real, positive changes within yourself that will help you to improve every area of your relationship. It can help you to remove your blocks to love and become more capable of giving and open to receiving love.

For those of you who are single, this program contains information that can help you to prepare for love by becoming the best partner you can be. If you commit to consistently applying the information presented consistently, it will help you to create the relationship that you desires. It is my hope that you allow this to be a catalyst that will start you on a journey of evolution toward love enlightenment.

The words self-centered empowerment in the title indicate the spirit in which this program was created, and the spirit in which its information is best applied. Self-centered in the context of this program is focusing on yourself as the creator of your entire life. Essentially, self-centered means that if you want to see change, you take action to make that change happen.

Power means the ability to act and to empower means to give power to. This book is focused on helping you to feel empowered. You are never helpless; you are never a victim. You have the power to create changes within yourself that will create changes in your world.

This book is designed to be used to help you to reach new levels of love and closeness in your relationship over the course of 36 days. Each section is meant to be one day. However, if you feel so inspired, do two or three sections at a time, or do one a week if you have very little time.

There is no right or wrong way, and anything that you do is better than nothing. Consistent results comes from putting in energy consistently. If you read and apply the information every day for the first week and then don't touch it for three weeks, you won't get good results. It's much better to do something small each day then to do something big each week.

Relationships are dynamic, they are always moving and changing, they don't stand still. They are either moving forward or becoming closer and more loving or they are moving backward and becoming more distant and unfeeling or hurtful. Keep the forward momentum by taking little steps each day.

Don't be afraid to try new things and come out of your comfort zone. You will continue to get the same results if you continue to do the same things. Break the pattern, do the exercises even if they feel a little funny for you.

At the end of each section there is one put it into practice exercise. Change it to suit your needs. As long as the basic structure is the same, the results will be the same. The exercises are very effective, but I’ve also made them very simple so that it would be easy for them to become habits.

At the end of each section there are ways of charting your progress. This is important because you need to know where you are. An honest assessment of where you are can help you to feel clearer about where you want to be and what you need to do to get there.

This is meant to be approached with an attitude of exploration. Try out the exercises, just to have fun and see what happens. Don't expect anything to happen, don't do anything to get an outcome or in the hopes that things will be different.

This is not to say that they won't be effective. It is simply that if you have expectations you're cutting off other possibilities. You want to be as open as you can be.

Do the exercises in this program for yourself and your own personal growth. The entire purpose of this program is not so much to create the relationship you desire, but to become the kind of partner that naturally has the relationship you desire. This becoming only requires a shift in your thinking, your words and your actions.

You can make this shift in spite of the conditions in your life and regardless of how others are behaving or how they react. This will help you to evolve as a person and will have the perk of giving you the greatest possible chance of having the relationship you desire. You can't control what the other person in the relationship does, but you can behave in new ways that could inspire new behaviors in him.

Why Inner Work Works

The outer world that you experience is always a direct reflect of what’s going on in your inner world of thoughts, beliefs, feelings and intentions. The vast majority of these are subconscious. The power of these inner subconscious processes can’t be overstated. Their effect on your life is incredible.

According to Bruce Lipton Ph.D. (paraphrased): The subconscious mind is associated with the neural activity of approximately 90% of the brain. While the conscious mind can process 40 nerve impulses per second, the subconscious can process 40 million