10 Workplace Strategies for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

By Kathleen McDowell

This book offers ten strategies that can assist adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the workplace. Chapters include explanations of the situations, tips, and examples. These strategies can also be helpful for job coaches, vocational rehabilitation counselors and employers.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 18, 2015
• ISBN: 9781329396012

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10 Workplace Strategies for Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

10 Workplace Strategies for Adult Surviors of Child Sexual Abuse

by

Kathleen McDowell

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Copyright

Copyright © 2015 by Kathleen McDowell, McDowell Consulting LLC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic format without permission from the author.

First printing: 2015

Author Disclaimer: Views and comments are based on the author’s research, observations and experiences throughout the years of her recovery and may not work for others.

www.IveGotaMessage.com.

Cover design by Barbara Brandt

Thank you to the wonderful people who encouraged me to help make this book happen.

Thank you to my employers and co-workers who offered me valuable, insightful experiences for me to propel and grow into new opportunities.

A very special thank you to my loving, supportive husband and son who love me through it all.

This book offers ten strategies that can assist adult survivors of child sexual abuse in the workplace. Chapters include explanations of the situations, tips, and examples. These strategies can also be helpful for job coaches, vocational rehabilitation counselors and employers.

Introduction

People who have been sexually abused as children face a daunting road of recovery. Each person is unique in their experiences that impact their lives in many different facets. While each of us is different in how we navigate through life, we also have many similarities in how we have learned to cope. Much depends on the age of onset the abuse started and how it progressed through formative years. Was there an early intervention? Did this person tell someone about the abuse? How much counseling was involved or if the belief was that it was trivial, and the child will not remember much of it at all (ignore it and it will just go away). Some can recover more easily than others while some will experience lifelong challenges.

One area that can impact our lives is working. Working can present a wide range of opportunities to grow and gain more self-assurance, aiding in our recovery process. It also can be difficult for us to try to fit in when we may have felt so different and alienated because of our early abuse experiences that set us apart from other people.

I was sexually abused by a close relative starting at a young age until I was 16. Also, there was ongoing family emotional, mental and financial abuse. This has impacted my life deeply in many ways with my relationships with other people in general and how I functioned in the workplace. This book offers strategies and tips that I learned from my work experiences to assist survivors of sexual abuse navigate the work environment more successfully. It is an important step in recovery to become more functional in this aspect of our life. I am hopeful that this will also aid employers, job coaches and counselors in understanding the struggles we survivors have as we integrate our painful history toward healing and being relevant contributors at work and as a forum for educating employers.

As survivors of child sexual abuse, we face unique challenges in our adult lives, both in personal relationships and in the workplace. Statistics from the National Center for Victims of Crime (NCVC) estimate that one in four girls and one in six boys will have experienced an episode of sexual abuse while younger than 18 (NCVC, 2008, www.ncvc.org, para. 2). That is about 25% of our population.

According to Black (C. Black, It will never happen to me, 2001, Hazelden), girls are most often approached initially between the ages of 5 and 8 with the abuse continuing for at least three years. Because the initial act of sexual abuse begins gradually, children may believe it is a normal part of their growing up experience. The older person is in a position of power over a younger, inexperienced and vulnerable child. With these experiences following us into adulthood, they present their challenges in interaction with people in authority including bosses and co-workers. If the abuse results in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), this will add a deeper layer of impact while in the workplace.

One out of six boys has been sexually abused under the age of 18 although research believes it is underreported. They are not as likely to tell. Men also experience difficulties in life from this trauma (https://1in6.org/the-1-in-6-statistic/, 2014). They also have relationship and workplace issues.

Child sexual abuse crosses all socioeconomic, class, religious, gender, nationality and racial lines. Some health issues include Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and depression, chemical dependency, suicide and suicidal ideation and underachieving which affects economic success. There are also long-term physical health effects that can impact our employment.

We survivors are in varying stages of recovery. While some will integrate into the workplace more easily, some are just starting out and are in a very painful place and many in between. They may find it much more challenging. Some places that offer job training may only pay a small wage amount before placement out in the community. The small pay can be frustrating as if we can see it as being taken advantage of and undervalued.

We are in the workplace, and there are ways to help us succeed. Even with therapy and putting what we have learned into practice working with employers and co-workers, we can still struggle. We want to be able to work and function as best we can as we work through our history and toward a life worth living where we are relevant. Working gives us that sense of purpose, structure, direction and an opportunity toward normalcy while we learn new skills. It is a good way for us to focus on accomplishing something tangible that helps us focus on the present time. Working and volunteering also help build our self-esteem. They reinforce the belief that we are worthwhile, smart and capable. We create a life where we can afford to live on our own. Knowing we are important entices us to get out of bed in the morning.

There are challenges as we work toward managing our anxieties and fears about being accepted and being safe. Sometimes our stress is about doing the very best job we can, managing our fears about not being good enough and potentially losing our employment. These stresses can add to our tension, particularly when we believe that people-pleasing is so important to achieve our success and acceptance. We can feel that our very existence and esteem hinges on how well we do this job and manage our work relationships and finances. When we enter the workforce, we typically enter either right out of high school or after college.  In either case, we may or may not have begun our recovery and acclimation into the complexities of the work world.

For other people who have not experienced this kind of life trauma, it can be easy to dismiss us adult survivors of sexual abuse, saying Why don’t you just get over it!!! This response stems from them being uncomfortable as well as a lack of understanding of our difficulties. Sometimes, our challenges are seen as moral character defects, not as a response to the traumas we have experienced.