Broadcast Your Inner Champion: A Journey of Self-Remembrance…and Impact!

By Steve Berlack

This handy personal development guide uses humor and moments of intense introspection to launch you towards a fulfilling, purpose-centered life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services
• Release date: Feb 5, 2015
• ISBN: 9781483420578

Book preview

BROADCAST YOUR

INNER CHAMPION

A JOURNEY OF SELF-REMEMBRANCE… AND IMPACT!

STEVE BERLACK

Copyright © 2014 Steve Berlack.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted by any means—whether auditory, graphic, mechanical, or electronic—without written permission of both publisher and author, except in the case of brief excerpts used in critical articles and reviews. Unauthorized reproduction of any part of this work is illegal and is punishable by law.

Cover photo by: Erica L. Spruill

ISBN: 978-1-4834-2058-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4834-2057-8 (e)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Lulu Publishing Services rev. date: 11/26/2014

CONTENTS

Prologue: The Berlack Method To Broadcasting

Chapter 1    Self-Awareness

Chapter 2    Faith

Chapter 3    Attitude & Success

Chapter 4    Spiritual Connection & Responsibility

Chapter 5    Cultural Connection

Chapter 6    Achieving With Others (Team Building)

Chapter 7    Relationship Building (Personal)

Chapter 8    Parenting

Chapter 9    Leadership Development

Chapter 10    Community Impact

Epilogue: Connect The Dots…And Broadcast!

Thanks & Acknowledgements

About The Author

PROLOGUE:

THE BERLACK METHOD TO BROADCASTING

I cannot help you shine your light by talking about your light. I can only help you shine your light by shining mine. – Steve Berlack

Who are you? That’s the first question of the first workshop of The Berlack Method Personal Development Training Series. I have asked that question hundreds, if not thousands of times over the years, and I’ve asked it of children, adolescents, young adults and the elderly. I’ve asked it of people all over the country from various cultural, ethnic and racial backgrounds, and of both genders. One thing has become clear. This is an exceedingly difficult and complicated question to answer. At first, that may seem counter-intuitive. It is, after all, a simple question. But it is precisely the fundamental nature of the question that makes it so difficult to answer.

For example, almost every time I ask the question, an audience member’s initial response is to tell me his/her name. At first thought, that makes sense. We carry our names with us from birth, and they are our primary identifiers. We cling to our names as hallmarks of our identity. Although I agree that our names can be that hallmark, I’ve found that something is usually missing between the act of stating our names and understanding what our names represent. For instance, when I hit my audience with the idea that their names tell me how they’re called, but not who they are, they’re stumped. It usually goes something like this:

Me: Who are you?

Audience member: My name is Joe Smith. To the reader: what does this tell you about the audience member?

Me: That just tells me what to call you. Let me try again: who are you?

Audience member: <>

I’ve found that many people are stumped because they know neither the meaning nor the spirit of their names. For instance, my name is Steven Bernard Berlack. Steven means crowned one, while Bernard means strong, brave bear. Berlack is the name shortened at Ellis Island by the immigration officer who couldn’t pronounce my great-great grandfather’s surname. A youthful Prussian Jewish immigrant, he hardly had the wherewithal to protest. Therefore, if anyone asks me who I am, I not only tell them my name, I tell them what it means, and, more importantly, that my knowledge of what it means impacts me in that I conduct myself as a man of royalty, and that I see myself as strong enough spiritually and mentally, and brave enough by birthright to overcome any obstacles that come my way. My strength and bravery are buttressed by the family history told to me by my grandparents as I bounced on their knees as a boy.

It is because I am conscious to live in the spirit of my name, both in its meaning and history, that I am aware of who I am. And it is because I am aware that I have, to the degree that you may judge, been both blessed and successful. And so, dear reader, I ask the question of you: who are you? Whether you can answer the question swiftly and with detail, or you find yourself silent and wondering, this book, like the personal development workshops that inspired it, is designed to help you explore, identify and broadcast your answer.

THIS ISN’T A BOOK SO MUCH AS IT’S A JOURNEY TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.

I have become convinced that we spend our lives not discovering who we are, but remembering who we are. The difference is nuanced and subtle, yet sharply distinct and clear. I was inspired to believe this idea by Jeremiah 1:5 - Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. What this says to me is that there is much more to our lives than what we see, touch and feel during our lifetimes. We are more than that. Because we are more, there are innumerable subtleties and nuances we must explore to fully answer the question: who are you? It was because of this idea that I wrote Dust of the Earth, which you’ll find in the Chapter Self-Awareness. As you read the chapters in this book, you will be challenged to explore who you are, think about whether or not you are culturally and spiritually connected to others, what responsibility you bear for this connection, and how this knowledge can lead you to positively impact those around you.

There are ten workshops in The Berlack Method, and ten themed chapters of Broadcast Your Inner Champion that correspond to them. They are, in order:

* Self – Awareness

* Faith

* Attitude & Success

* Spiritual Connection & Responsibility

* Cultural Connection

* Achieving with Others

* Relationship Building

* Parenting

* Leadership Development

* Community Impact

You may have noticed that the themes are ordered to challenge you in precisely the way I mentioned above. The purpose of this book is to massage you into asking and answering, chapter by chapter, the following questions:

1. What do you think about this theme?

2. Why do you think the way you do?

3. What must you explore to discover what you think and why?

a. Daily life challenges

i. Attitudes of family, friends and general society

ii. Finances

iii. Love and relationships

iv. Career

How did all of life’s challenges impact how you thought and acted?

How does knowing this change how you may think and act in the future?

If successful, this book will not only challenge you to explore the questions above, it will move you through the process of becoming truly self-aware, to fully understanding your perception of your connection to and responsibility for others, and ultimately to impacting others in a meaningful and positive way. You will be, for all intents and purposes, broadcasting your inner champion.

A WORD ABOUT FAITH

The second question I ask in the Self-Awareness workshop is: To Whom Do You Belong? The reason I have for asking that? Simple: I’ve never known anyone who fully explored who they are without examining the spirit. While this book does not espouse a particular religion, it unabashedly explores the role of God in our lives. There have been more than a few who tried to poke holes in The Berlack Method by mentioning that they’re not Christian, or that they don’t believe in God in any form. My answer to them is simple: That’s fine. While walking your journey of self-remembrance, it’s not important that you believe as I do, or even agree that there is a God. What’s important is that you understand and can articulate what you believe and why. I was having a debate about God when the words quoted at the beginning of this book hit me like a bolt of lightening. I’m not a Christian because I have all the answers about God, I’m a Christian because I have faith in Him.

In fact, the biggest obstacle I faced in giving my life to Christ was the battle waged within me about having to figure it all out. The intellectual in me was never satisfied unless I knew the correct answers about God, Jesus, religion, etc. However, as I grew older, I continued to dream about my spirituality (you’ll read more about that in the epilogue), and I received countless signs and confirmations about my relationship with God and my purpose. Finally, one day, while talking to a good friend about this, she looked me in the eye and asked: How many signs do you need? And that was that. I fell to the floor, prostrated and crying. I’ve consciously given my life to Him ever since. Notice I didn’t say I’ve been a Christian ever since, because that takes me back to Jeremiah 1:5. I’ve always been who I am. I’m just on a journey to remember.

No one ever convinced me to become a Christian. The best they could do was show me who they were, and allow me the space to learn from them what I could and put away the rest. This book is not designed to convince you of anything, (how could it?), but to shine the light of my experiences for you in a safe, non-judgmental way that allows you to explore your own ideas about spirituality, religion, etc. Your answer to to whom do you belong? is a reflection of your journey, not mine. And your answer is safe here.

A WORD ON POLITICS

You’ll notice, especially in Chapter 10, that I feel free to articulate my political leanings. I do so in the same spirit in which I discuss my faith. You may find that you disagree with my thoughts on all things political, and my answer to you would be…that’s fine. I make my points not because I’m trying to convince you of anything, but because my political views are a reflection of my experience…my light. I can only shine my light. If you disagree, then please know that the same principles applied to faith in this book are also applied to politics. So feel free! Shout at the book about why I’m so wrong and about how crazy I am! (I’d actually love to see that)! Shine your light! If you’re like me, you’ll find that openly articulating your views within a healthy, respectful debate enriches and crystalizes them in a powerful way.

And what’s wrong with that?

HOW THIS BOOK IS SET UP

After the prologue, Broadcast Your Inner Champion is divided into ten chapters that align with the themes of The Berlack Method listed earlier. Although there is a specific order to The Method, each chapter is self-contained, and may be read in the order you wish. After all, this is your journey. It may be interesting for you to note which chapters interest you the most. Follow your instinct, and have fun with it.

The themed chapters contain posts from Champion’s Blog, which was the precursor to this book. Broadcast Your Inner Champion aligns the posts by theme. At the beginning of each chapter is an introduction which defines the theme and underscores why it’s included in the book. I also share intimate memories of specific blogs and why I wrote them. I don’t just write about these themes because I’ve done research and intellectualized their importance. I write about them because I’ve lived them. To me, it’s funny how God works. How can I help anyone live a better life unless I shine my own light? Yet how can I shine my own light without going through serious life issues and challenges?

This book ends with the Epilogue. In it, you will be challenged to collapse all of your thoughts about the themes of this book into one answer to the original question: Who are you? Having answered that question, prayerfully in a refreshing and exciting way, you’ll be ready to explore what Broadcast Your Inner Champion means to you. What does it look like when you do it? And who benefits?

A WORD ABOUT THE BLOGS

You’ll notice that the blogs are written in different literary styles. Some are written as prose, while others are written with poetic license. As someone who writes poetry, I’ve found that my written pieces tell me how to write them. I hear the rhythm of the poem in my head before I write anything down. Given the creative nature of poetry, I often find that I must bend grammatical rules so that the poem comes out as it wants. Sometimes I have to suspend the rules altogether. I honestly can’t say why this is so, but as an artist I always listen to my instinct.

When I started Champion’s Blog, I noticed that my tendency was to write blog posts in much the same way. In fact, a few of the posts are poems of mine. The best way I can think to describe why I wrote the blogs as I did is this: sometimes when I make grammatical corrections to either my poems or blogs, the results don’t feel right. The message/intent/feeling gets lost in the grammar. For instance, a piano player may play notes exactly as they’re written down, and he plays them perfectly in the technical sense, but the music doesn’t illicit the feeling intended. Another piano player may play the same piece, but hold one note a tad longer, or another note a tad softer…and the feelings engendered in the listener become powerful and meaningful.

This book, therefore, is designed so that you read it in much the same way you would a book of poetry. Within each chapter, the blogs will relate to one another by theme, but each will take you on its own separate journey of remembrance, and will prayerfully illicit their own particular feelings/thoughts within you.

WHAT TO DO

I’ve discovered that my journey to self-remembrance is not just about me. Many have impacted who I am and my self-awareness impacts the lives of many. In this light, I ask you to do the following throughout your journey through this book:

• As you read the blogs: think! How do you feel about what’s written?

• Talk to friends and family about what you’ve read. Bounce ideas back and forth and continuously shape them through your conversations.

• Discover how and why you think the way you do.

• Be aware of the impact of others on you, and your impact on them.

I pray that your journey of introspection, connection and impact is as enlightening and powerful as mine has been for me. And may it bring you peace, love, joy and understanding that not only improves your life, but the lives of those around you.

I’ll see you at The Epilogue.

CHAPTER 1

Self-Awareness

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will. — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

But you can’t get away from yourself. You can’t decide not to see yourself anymore. You can’t decide to turn off the noise in your head. — Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. — C.G. Jung

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

According to Wikipedia, self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to reconcile oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals. That’s quite a mouthful. After reading that, I spent some time mulling over the intricacies of what self-awareness entails. What I got from the definition is that self-awareness begins with examining what makes us tick and why. As human beings we all feel compelled to find out who we are, where we come from, and why we’re here. It’s a feeling. A yearning. A desire so powerful that adults who were adopted as children will spend their entire lives looking for their birth parents, even if they experienced happy childhoods.

For me, self-awareness is explored in the answer to the question: Who am I? As I mentioned in the Prologue, this question is exceedingly complex, and has proven difficult to answer for most. I am convinced that the answer to the question is so important that one cannot become successful in life until the question is answered. How can I set goals for my life, know how to treat others, know what to expect from others in their treatment of me, know my relationship with God, understand my responsibility to my family, friends and community, or do anything positive in a sustainable way unless I truly understand and can articulate who I am?

If I am truly more than the name I am called, then how do I find out who I am? For me, the answer was simple: through my elders. My grandparents made a point of sitting me on their laps when I was a child and told me story after story about who they were as people, their experiences, the challenges they overcame, and even how they met. (Grandpa, of course, told a very different version of this story than Grandma did. His version included having to beat her off with a stick when she saw how handsome he was! Personally, I believe Grandma’s version, but that’s neither here nor there). Grandpa also made a point of telling me stories about his parents and grandparents, where our family name came from (it was shortened at Ellis Island), and what life was like for a young, Black male in Harlem in the 1920’s. I’m still haunted by the image of him standing on a street corner, knowing he could not cross the street in one direction into one neighborhood, nor could he cross the street in another direction into a different neighborhood. The chains that kept him from crossing the street were not found on fences, but were imbedded in his mind by age-old social codes and long-understood repercussions for breaking such codes.

Of course, other family members and dear friends filled in the picture of who I am as well. Though I never met my father (he was killed in Vietnam when I was seven months old), Aunt Margaret, his sister, would regale me with stories about who he was as a man and a brother. My mom told me hilarious stories about their relationship. In particular, I loved the story about one time she and my dad argued. She fussed and hissed, (if you know my mom, raise your hand), and my dad just sat there, growing quieter by the minute, and giving her a look that said are you done?

When Ma told me that story for the first time, I remember thinking about my dad’s reaction: Hey! That’s what I would have done! I’m just like him! It struck me like a bolt of lightning: they weren’t just telling stories. They were telling me who I am. They were helping me answer the question in a way that fully explored the subtleties, the nuances and the fabric of what I do and why I do it. That experience was the foundation of my answer. Of course, there were many other contributors to my continuing understanding of my own self-awareness: my friends, my various communities, my experiences, my city of birth, and more.

The linchpin of my understanding is the image Grandpa painted for me: the little boy afraid to cross the street because of the color of his skin. I’ve often thought to myself: how can I possibly be afraid of the challenges I’m facing, when I’ve never come across something as humbling and dehumanizing as that? If he can overcome standing in his own neighborhood in fear, and all the other challenges of his life, and his blood flows through my veins, then I know I can overcome anything I’m going through.

And there it is. Though I grew up poor in The Bronx, I overcame. Although children I grew up with fell on every side of me to the dangers of the streets, I triumphed. I was not devoid of challenges. I faced them too. However, I faced them through the prism of a knowledge of self that gave me strength and power. I gained victories in life not so much through intelligence or anything I learned in school. As important as education has been in my life, my victories have come by remembering the stories of my past. That is why self-awareness is the first workshop in The Berlack Method, and the first chapter in this book. Facing life’s challenges without self-awareness is like sailing the seven seas without a compass.

The Posts

The blog posts in this chapter were almost all the result of serious introspection. I wrote Dust of the Earth, for instance, after reflecting on the pain of my past relationships. I also found myself going through a period of harsh isolation from friends and family. I made tremendous sacrifices when I founded The Berlack Method, and the weight of those sacrifices (financial stress and a tremendous battle between my faith and my fear) led to my pushing people away and diving into what I thought was a safe cocoon. While that was going on, I noticed something strange: whenever I became really tired and frustrated, someone would call me with an emergency. Either a family member had died, or a good friend was sick, someone had relationship problems, etc. I always got those calls at the exact moment I felt overwhelmed, and I learned two things from that revelation: one, we’re all going through pains and disappointments in this life, and two, part of my purpose is helping people deal with their issues through the lessons garnered from my own pain. That particular epiphany confirmed my belief that knowledge of self includes understanding of purpose. This understanding put my issues in proper perspective: they were simply part of the process of growing into the role God had in store for me. Dust… was my attempt to capture that with words.

I wrote Minority = Less Than after many conversations concerning the term minority and what it means. My experience has taught me that self-perception and self-identification are powerful tools that can both empower and enslave someone. I remark in the post about the many times I’ve spoken to African-Americans and, whenever race came into play, perfectly sane, intelligent, confident men and women would drop their voices to a whisper when saying the phrase White people. It would be funny if it wasn’t such an indicator of the power of seeing oneself as a minority in a free society. In my humble opinion, seeing oneself as a minority represents the enslavement of the mind in full effect.

The Antelope and The Lion comes directly from my workshop on Attitude. It’s an anecdote about the roles of antelope and lions during a hunt, and how each animal instinctively knows his/her role. We humans can learn a lot from them. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people who, due to title, personality, etc., played the antelope role in the relationship, stood with feet planted firmly roaring fiercely at the lion. And they kept roaring until they were figuratively eaten alive. Again, it would be funny except for the dire consequences one can face by