frankie Magazine

the great debate

only ask it if you mean it

BY DEIRDRE FIDGE

There are few questions that fill me with dread more than “How are you?” Maybe “Why is your face like that?” or “What’s that rash?” But truly, “How are you?” is asked so often, and in so many contexts, that the words have become entirely meaningless.

First, let’s make one thing clear: this question has a place. Of course it does. Asking about someone’s wellbeing is a normal and kind instinct for humans (and dogs, who ask this by sniffing each other’s bum holes, but I guess we haven’t figured out how that type of assessment works… yet). When a loved one asks how you’re doing, it’s lovely! It’s shorthand for telling someone you

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