Letters To My Grandchildren: A Practical Guide for Daily Living

By Ram Chugh

The world, especially after a pandemic, can be a complicated, confusing place. For countless young people, COVID-19 has created stress, uncertainty, insecurity, and fear of the future. It has caused many to think: How can I cope? What should I do? How do I take control of my life? In this, his fifth book, Ram Chugh helps tackle those questions. The accomplished author has experienced many ups and downs and gone through incredible highs and devastating lows. But no matter what events befell him during his long life and thirty-two-year career as a professor, he remained upbeat and never lost his passion for teaching and helping others. In this book, he advises readers on everything from identifying core values to staying healthy to managing money to overcoming fear, to name just a few of the topics covered. This then, is his ultimate act of service—a compendium of rock-solid, straightforward, practical advice and guidelines aimed at helping young people navigate a changed, and sometimes frightening, world. His valuable and timeless advice will never go out of style.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ram Chugh
• Release date: Aug 22, 2020

Book preview

LETTERS

TO MY

GRANDCHILDREN

A Practical Guide for Daily Living

Ram L. Chugh, Ph.D.

Copyright © 2020 by Ram L. Chugh

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any form, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or scanning, into any information storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author except in the case of a brief quotation embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Book cover illustration by Mosi Clayton. Chapter title illustrations by Kush, Mosi, Jai, Tyee, and Eloh Clayton.

Printed in the United States of America.

JaiOm Publishers

ISBN: 979-8-6635-2736-1

Dedicated with immense gratitude

to my loving wife, Seema,

the Greatest Grandmother in the World

Contents

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1    The Importance of Family

Chapter 2    Becoming the Architect of Your Life

Chapter 3    Finding Inspiration

Chapter 4    Pursuing Your Passion

Chapter 5    Using Time Wisely

Chapter 6    Learning to Write Well

Chapter 7    Mastering Public Speaking

Chapter 8    How to Stay Healthy

Chapter 9    Managing Money

Chapter 10  Overcoming Fear

Chapter 11  Controlling Anger

Chapter 12  Core Values as Our Anchors

Chapter 13  Does God Listen and Respond?

Chapter 14  How to Stand Out at Work

Chapter 15  Giving Back to Society

About the Author

Foreword

As a girl growing up in an Indian family, it’s typical to be asked When are you getting married? and When am I going to have grandchildren? or even Will it be in this lifetime?

In my case, this type of pressure was never placed on me. Growing up with two highly educated parents, the only things asked of me were to dedicate my time and attention to my studies, and, whatever I did, do so diligently and to the best of my ability.

I presume that they thought that one day I would fall in love, or they would find a match for me, and I would get married and have one or two kids and live happily ever after. I too thought that, eventually, I would get married, but, for a long time, my focus was on my career or school or spending time with my parents and friends. Then one day it happened—I fell in love. Soon after, came marriage, then kids, then a change in lifestyle and focus. But even then, the one constant in my life was my parents; and it still is, to this day.

Though I absorbed the words previously in parent-to-child conversations, I never fully understood the dynamic of the grandparent-to-grandchild connection until the day my first child was born. The image of my parents holding him in their arms, looking adoringly down at him, filled with me with more joy than I could ever have imagined.

Through the years, watching the kids run to their grandparents, go on walks with them, learn how to drink and eventually make tea with them, read with them, play with them, do puzzles with them—all those interactions and more—brought me an immense amount of satisfaction as well as a feeling of connectedness and a sensation that all was right with the universe. Without it being said, I knew that all the lessons I had been taught through action and not necessarily words would be delivered like gold nuggets to my children as well. The innumerable lectures and life lessons taught to me by my father and mother would live on in my children.

My father taught me the art of writing since I was little, something I practice diligently today. Like most of the lessons I learned from him, even if I resisted that one in the beginning, I ended up falling in love with it in the end. As a mother, I know deep in my heart that allowing my children to get to know my father—watching him work, watching him love, watching him care, watching him just be—has been the best gift I could ever give them.

In his previous books, my father took the time to painstakingly sift through his memories, his stories, and his experiences in order to share them with my children as well as countless others. This book, however, holds a different—special—place in his heart, as it does in mine. Through a difficult time in his life, he still found the motivation, the love, and the drive to teach through another vessel, a book—one that will forever stay with his grandchildren, that they can read to their children, and their children to their children.

I took the request to write the foreword for this book as a privilege and an honor, though I dreaded doing it for fear of not living up to my father and his expectations. In the end, however, I knew that that fear was only within my own head because he has always encouraged me, loved me, and taught me directly and indirectly that I had nothing to be afraid of. I think my fear was mostly rooted in my inability to find the words to express the deep love and respect I feel for what my father and mother have bestowed upon me.

This book may be a mere collection of words to some, but to me, those words carry with them years and years of amazing memories, love, and our life together. I hope you enjoy it as much as we have had living it.

Pooja Clayton

Springfield, Virginia, June 2020

*****

Note from Seema Chugh

Ram has always believed that knowledge is not only light-giving but fruit-bearing as well. I have watched my husband endure emotional and physical challenges and rise above them each time. This most recent challenge took us all by surprise. Yet in typical Ram fashion, he decided to start another project: this book.

I would often awaken at night to find him—no matter how he was feeling—in his study writing, editing, and re-reading this labor of love, motivated by his love for his grandchildren and his love for me. As much as I wanted him to lie back down and rest, I knew how much doing this was keeping him upbeat, positive, and focused on something other than himself, which has always been his panacea. In this book, he lays out practical guidelines for a well-balanced and meaningful life. I believe it will not only benefit our grandchildren, but everyone who reads it.

Seema Chugh

Loudonville, N.Y., June 2020

Acknowledgments

I wish to express my heartfelt thanks and gratitude to my wife, Seema, upon whose suggestion the genesis for this book was born. Not only with this endeavor, but with all my projects, my hope, my dreams, and my challenges, she has remained my rock – a steadying, positive, loving influence in my life.

I discussed the scope of this project with my longtime friend and mentor, Dr. James Young. He could not have been more enthusiastic and encouraged me to start writing soon. He knew that I did not have much time left because of the diagnosis. Thank you, Jim.

I also feel blessed to have some very caring friends and colleagues who took time from their busy schedules to review drafts of chapters at different stages of my writing. These include David DeMarco, Rasik Shah, and Bernie Schunicht. I benefited greatly from their comments and suggestions. I express my heartfelt thanks to each of them for their generosity and their faith in me.

I am indebted to my friend and former colleague Pierre Radimak, who generously offered his services in reviewing various chapters and making helpful suggestions. I am grateful to him for his generosity.

I am extremely grateful to my nephew, Dr. Sunil Bhatla, who not only reviewed several chapters but also helped me prepare the manuscript for publication. That required considerable time and expertise. I could do this only with his timely assistance. No words can ever express my debt of gratitude to him. You remain very dear to me. Thank you, Sunil.

I am very grateful to my editor, Mike Piekarski, for his expert guidance. He has a unique talent for making good writing better. When suggesting changes, he is always courteous and constructive. Those attributes make him stand out as an editor. If this book reads well and flows nicely, it is because of his extraordinary effort to fully comprehend the underlying thoughts and ideas being conveyed by the author.

I am deeply grateful to my grandchildren—Mosi, Jai, Tyee, Kush, and Eloh—for the artwork they produced for each chapter of this book. The artwork sprang from their imagination based on their interpretation of each chapter’s heading. Their sketches added special artistic touches to the book and made it come alive.

I was immensely touched by Pooja’s foreword to the book. It comes from her heart and what she experienced over the years. She has conveyed what the book is all about, and, very often, I believe, she saw herself in it because while growing up she experienced most of what the book contains. To her, the book represents a living memory, and she conveyed that feeling quite effectively.

Finally, my mother instilled in me the power of prayer and of leaving things in the hands of God. At those times when I felt utterly lost or discouraged, she sent me messages of love and blessings from the world above. My deep love for her continues to sustain me even though she is no longer with us.

Introduction