Digging Graves in Flower Beds: Poetry, #1

By Alexandria Grigsby

This is a poetry book compiled of a lot of poems that I have been working on for a while now. I'd have to say my whole life at this point. I hope you guys enjoy reading some happy times to the sad times of my life. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alexandria Grigsby
• Release date: Aug 21, 2020
• ISBN: 9781393888093

Book preview

I’m a Mess

I wrote this for you

You are in me,

You are in my soul.

You make me happy

but also, lonely.

I reach for your side of the bed and it feels cold.

You are in everything I do.

You are

in the love songs I listen too.

in the romance novels I read.

in the rom-com movies I love so much.

You are

the sunshine on a rainy day.

the flowers I grow in my garden.

the love of my life, even on the days you work long into the night.

I wrote this for you

because you need to know that I still love you.

I wrote this for you

because I need you to know that without you,

I am a wall without color,

a plant without water,

a car on three wheels,

a song without a beat,

the sun without fire,

the waves without the moon.

I am a mess without you,

I mean, I am still a mess with you but tragically beautiful still.

I've been hurt so many times and after it was all said and done,

I tried to toughen up.

I tried to make my heart hard

because I didn't want to hurt anymore.

Silly me, thinking I wouldn't find you.

Now you have to take the time to undo all the work I did.

You love me through all the pain.

Finding you was like, finally breathing air after drowning.

You saved me,

You are my hero.

I'm a mess but with you, it all makes sense. 

Till the Day

(Inspired by Doctor Who)

To be honest.

I'd much rather have the whole world on my shoulders

Because then at least I would feel like I am needed.

If I can't help myself,

At least I can help others

That's all the really matters to me.

Keeping everyone happy.

Even though I may feel like crap

And even though I may need someone to talk to.

I'll be fine.

Even if I am alone,

It doesn’t matter because

I don't matter anyway.

No one will miss me if I'm gone.

But until I die, I'll help anyone I can.

Because the weight of the world isn't that bad.

It may lay heavy in my eyes

But at least everyone is smiling.

So, I'll smile too.

Till the day the world no longer needs its doctor

––––––––

A picture containing text Description automatically generated

A House I will No Longer Build

When it came to life, I was always down.

Even at a young age, there was this gloom that was always around.

I don't know what life was like before I found out I had Life Long Chronic Depression.

I was 12 years old when I got the diagnosis.

But I always knew something was off.

I never really fit in anywhere.

I never made friends as easy as others did.

It didn't really hit me till high school that something was seriously wrong with me.

I no longer thought of the future.

I no longer felt happy unless I was with someone.

I was no longer dealing with my emotions properly.

Then suicide clouded my mind.

I thought about it for years.

I cut myself just to feel my body bleed because I didn't feel alive until I watched it drain from my body.

But after 3 attempts to kill myself

Suicide is no longer a house I think to build one day.

I'm older