Who is 5am for?: Insomnia

By M. Tabara

"How many times u seen me crying? Did u count the tears falling down my cheeks? Did u see how broken i was? Did u judge me for that? Do u still love me? Do u accept me the way i am?" The sky responded with silence, and i felt peace.

• Language: English
• Publisher: M. Tabara
• Release date: Apr 2, 2024
• ISBN: 9781805415442

Book preview

I’ve wasted so many years of my life trying to find myself,

Trying to find out who the hell I am. I looked everywhere,

Chasing every corner wishing to find me. I thought that I could

Find me in a stranger that walked past me. In a stranger that

Is holding my hand, the stranger that is flirting with me with a pretty

Smile on his face. I thought that I could find myself in a

Stranger that I loved the most. But I forgot to look in the

Mirror, I ignored it with coldness. There I was all this time.

And in the end, I’ve never been lost,

I’ve just been ignored, by me.

I always chase the impossible,

All because possible is boring.

Do what the fuck you want if that

Will bring you money and success.

Only you are responsible for your

Happiness, so fuck ‘em all.

I always find the most romantic way

To destroy myself.

Thanks ME

"I was screaming

your name last night"

I am addicted to your voice, your arms,

Your smile, your lips and hands wrapped

Around my body. And I replaced you with

Cocaine. To escape I’ve made the worst

Decision ever. I got tired of sniffing

Your perfume from my clothes that I have

Not washed since, so I start to sniff

The snow. I used to think that this was

Love, but now I know that I was only

On cocaine.

I just wonder if you ever just sit down

And think about me. Do you ever just

Lay in bed and wish me to be there

Next to you? I hope you do, especially

When you smell the hot coffee and remember

How we used to get dressed early in the

Morning or late at night to go get

A hot or iced coffee. I hope you do.

I hope that the memory of me is drowning

You deep in the ocean of my love.

I hope that the memory of me is killing

You as it’s killing me every time I

Look at your photo waiting for your

Name to light my phone screen

Saying Hey!

It does not hurt you to ignore me for days.

You’re just a kid that wantsta have fun.

Do not make your negative thoughts your first priority.

Don’t let the sadness to eat you from the inside-out. Let it be

Your guest, but keep the door open. When sadness had

Its dinner, let it go. Don’t let the thoughts of someone

Put you down, pick yourself up.

When it’s dark, light your own path.

No time wasted

I don’t want to lose

Myself again, so I stick to sipping.

I still remember you saying I’m a demon.

Oh dear, I’ll make sure you won’t forget

Me so easily. I’ll keep you awake all night long.

I’ll be the reason you’ll be in pain after.

I’ll be your late night and early morning thoughts.

You’ll look for me in every girl you will see.

Babe I’m not the best looking but you’ll

Remember me forever. I’ll be your nightmare,

Your air, your freedom, your