A Tangle With Aliens

By Reese Currie

Creigh must move to Ottawa, Ontario to take over the agency, leaving behind his role as a field agent. However, this world and the paranormal world both have more curveballs in store for him, intended to crush both him and his work.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Reese Currie
• Release date: Jul 1, 2020
• ISBN: 9780463865170

Reese Currie

Reese Currie has had the creative writing bug in his soul from a very young age. Now in his middle age, he is finally releasing the floodgates on his passions, including his passion for fiction writing.

Book preview

Chapter One

My phone rang: it was Carl Lane. My boss.

I picked up and said, Hi, Carl.

How’s Lucinda’s training going? he asked.

Lucinda was a former prostitute my wife had met in prison. Just the kind of thing you like to tell people at swanky dinner parties. There was something about her that Carl thought made her suitable to be an agent in our tiny, secret government agency that investigated—and suppressed—the paranormal.

Still not well, I replied, then I sighed. She’s gotten her driver’s license, at least. She’s scared of guns, too scared to be accurate with them. She’s dropped guns that have high recoil. She’ll never be a natural with them, and you kind of have to be to survive in this job.

What do you recommend? Carl asked.

She doesn’t know what we really do, Carl, I said. I think we should cut her loose.

Carl sighed.

To be honest, I don’t know what you see in her, I said, and I’ve been looking pretty hard for the past nine months.

You have to be replaced in the field to take over the computer side, Carl said.

I know, but she can’t do it, I replied.

Carl paused, then changed the topic. How are you coming with learning Clojure?

I’ve had better results with that, I said. I can see why Jack developed his system with it now.

Jack had been a heavy duty Lisp programmer back when Lisp machines were a thing, so to use Java-based hacking libraries, he had used Clojure to build his system. It was constantly monitoring a wide variety of computer systems, looking for hints of paranormal activity. There was a considerable amount of artificial intelligence built into the system to determine what texts needed to be actually read and digested by a human. That human had once been Jack; now it was me. It sounded like a big job, but not that much came through requiring human intervention. There had been an uptick in the number of UFO reports in Canada, but lately, not much else that had the hints of the paranormal.

And you understand what he’s done? Carl asked.

Yes, I replied. I’ve been all over the system now.

I’m about ready for you to come to Ottawa, Carl said.

The funeral home had sold three months ago, and I was flush with cash from that. We still owned the duplex but we could always rent it out for more income, assuming we couldn’t sell it. There was nothing really barring us from moving.

All right, I said. How soon?

I’d like to have you here next week, Carl said.

That quickly?

It’s nine months after I said I wanted you here, Carl replied. It isn’t that quickly.

Well, we have to pack, I said.

You’re loaded right now, with the funeral home sale, Carl said. Get a moving company to do the packing and the move.

That’s not a bad idea, I commented. Actually, I might leave it furnished to see if I can rent it.

So, bring some essentials, Carl said. You kept the van. It should be able to move everything.

Yeah, the buyer already had plenty of vans, I replied, thinking of the Ford panel van we’d kept. I had given up the Lincoln after all, and sold it with the funeral home.

So, ah, can I cut Lucinda loose? I asked.

Carl sighed heavily. Yes, if you think she can’t be trained.

I don’t think she can, I said. Of course, it’s possible I’m just not a good trainer.

Possible, Carl agreed. They used to say, those who can’t do, teach. Maybe the opposite is also true.

What about the future? I asked. Is it possible for us to get someone who can train?

I suppose we could enlist RCMP resources to do the basic training, Carl said, then you could do the secret part, and the trainer would never have to know.

I nodded slowly, thinking it over. Yeah, I could probably take over after the basic training. It’s the elementary stuff I’m having trouble with.

You could bring Lucinda with you, and we could see about getting her trained, Carl suggested.

I can’t even imagine getting her to speak to people in an acceptably civil manner, I said. Is it safe for her to get cut? She truly does not know what we do.

She knows that whatever it is, you, and I, and Natalia are involved in it, Carl said. That’s not good. Few living people know that. All of them are involved in similar work and can keep their mouths shut about it.

So, what are we saying? I asked. She’s not safe?

She becomes a person of interest, Carl said. It meant that we would be conducting electronic surveillance on her for the rest of her life. "If she does start talking, we have to act. You will have to act. I guess what I’m saying is, she will never be safe, but she won’t necessarily ever be harmed either."

Not if she doesn’t talk, I said.

Right. Carl said. But if she does talk, you will be the one to silence her. Permanently.

I sighed, then said, That’s good enough. It’s as good as it can be.

I’m glad you see it that way, Carl replied. Can I expect you next week?

Yes, I said. I’ll have to talk to Natalia and see if there are any issues, but, yes. I guess it is time.

Possibly past time, Carl commented.

What does that mean? I asked.

We’ll talk when you get here, Carl replied. The sooner the better, Creigh. It is imperative that you get here soon.

Something about the way he said that troubled me. I’ll be there next week. If Natalia can’t make it that quickly, I’ll fly there and fly back here to get her when she’s ready.

I can’t really spare you after next week, Creigh, Carl said. When you get here, I need you to stay here.

Again, I was troubled. All right, Carl, I said. We will get there next week.

Good, Carl said, paused, and added, Thank you.

Then he hung up.

I got up from my chair in my office—the second bedroom, really—and went to the kitchen to find Natalia, who was making us some lunch. She was already sitting at the table, eating, when I came into the room. The sandwiches are ready, she said. What took you so long?

I got a call from Carl, I said. He wants us there next week.

Next week? Natalia asked, quickly putting down her sandwich. We have—there’s too much to—

He said to get a moving company to pack everything and move it, I said. We have the money for that now, but I’m thinking maybe we want to keep it furnished so we can rent it out. Just take some essentials in the van. Buy new stuff after we find a place.

"But, next week? Natalia said. We’ve been here for nine months."

Yeah, I know, it seems sudden, I said. But really, he gave us nine months.

I suppose, Natalia said, picking up her sandwich and gesturing at mine.

I was supposed to be done training Lucinda long before this, I said, sitting down, picking up my sandwich. I took my first bite—it was delicious. Nine months was unexpected.

Is her training coming along at all?

I shook my head. I have permission to cut her loose. She’ll have to not talk to anybody about us or Carl, though.

When are you going to do it? Natalia asked.

We’re supposed to be going to the range this afternoon, I said. We might as well not waste the bullets.

Can we do it here? Natalia asked. Like, can I be there for it?

That would probably help, I agreed.

Chapter Two

Lucinda knocked on the door just as we were finishing lunch.

It’s open, Natalia called.

Lucinda came in, wearing a string-strapped tank top and shorts. She looked good. She’d lost some weight during training because we did hikes in the woods to prepare her for outdoor work if needed. She wasn’t dressed correctly for the range, though.

What are you wearing? I asked, sipping my coffee.

What does it look like I’m wearing? she asked.

A tank top and Daisy Dukes, I replied. You know we were going to the range, right?

She looked puzzled. Yeah. It’s outside, and it’s hot. I got mosquito stuff on.

You might burn your boobs with hot shell casings if you go dressed like that, I replied.

Not if we’re shootin’ revolvers again, Lucinda accurately observed. She sighed and added, If you insist, I’ll go get changed.

Nah, it doesn’t matter, I said. We’re not going to the range today anyway.

She brightened—range days weren’t really her friend. We hikin’ again?

I shook my head. Training’s over.

Lucinda squinted at me.

We’re letting you go, I said.

Her squint turned into a slack jawed expression of disbelief, then she sat down on the nearest chair and stared off into space. I’m gettin’ fuckin’ fired from a job I ain’t even had yet.

I tried not to chuckle.

You find this funny?

This is a terrible job, I said. You’re dodging a bullet not being selected for it.

So, you’re the only one who’s seen me, Lucinda said. You must be the one that decided.

No sense lying to her; she had me dead to rights. Yes, I’m the one who decided.

There was a sort of uncomfortable silence as she stared at me. Finally she broke it by saying, I know I wasn’t doin’ too good.

Well, you learned how to drive, I said. You’ve built up a lot of endurance hiking.

That’s how I’m fittin’ in these old clothes, she commented. So, what did it? It was the shootin’, wasn’t it?

That’s a big part of it, I agreed. You have to be able to defend yourself.

I did okay with the smaller guns.

You did, I agreed again.

Why would I need them big bore revolvers n’ shit for huntin’ serial killers?

Sometimes you need a bullet that won’t be stopped by a Kevlar vest, or a steel door, or a windshield, I improvised. She didn’t know about werewolves, vampires, and Sasquatch. And she couldn’t know, or I couldn’t let her go. Not and still live.

Was that the only thing?

I paused.

I deserve to know, Lucinda said.

I’m uncomfortable about sending you to talk to people, I admitted.

Because I’m foul-mouthed, Lucinda said.

Yes, but it’s also your grammar, and that’s harder to fix, I said.

Lucinda sat for a long moment. Natalia was standing in the background, listening, but not saying a word. At this point I didn’t know what help she thought she would be.

I looked back to Lucinda, who licked her lips. I guess there ain’t no point askin’ for no second chance.

Carl expected the training to be done in three months, I replied. You’re really already on your third chance.

Lucinda sandwiched her hands between her thighs and took a deep breath, then asked in a small voice, Do you want me to move out?

My hand shot to my mouth and I stroked my beard, thinking about it. No, I might have a job for you right here.

Doin’ what?

Being our caretaker, I said. Carl’s called us to Ottawa. I can’t seem to sell this place after what happened next door. You could manage the building.

She was shaking her head.

You could live rent free, I said. I glanced at Natalia. Maybe even some kind of salary.

I’m doin’ good ’cause you guys are here, Lucinda said. Can I come with you?

I glanced at Natalia again—no help coming from that quarter. I turned my attention quickly back to Lucinda.

Look, you’ll probably get to talk to us more if you’re here, I said. I’m not going to be working from home anymore, I’m going to be in an office. I don’t know what Natalia is going to do, maybe she’ll work with me like she did at the funeral home. We probably wouldn’t be living in the same part of town. We’re more likely to lose touch if you’re there than if you’re here.

Lucinda’s eyes got watery and she looked away. She glanced behind her at Natalia, then wiped her eyes and looked back at me. When are you leavin’?

Carl wants us to be moved there next week, I said.

That ain’t much time, Lucinda said. She looked back at Natalia again. I could help you pack.

Natalia’s eyes flickered to mine, apparently for confirmation, then she looked back at Lucinda. That would be very helpful.

It would, I agreed. We’re going to leave all the furniture, in case we can rent this side out more easily furnished. We’ll just take plates, cutlery, electronics, personal belongings, you know. We’ll be able to carry it all in the van.

Let’s take an inventory of what we’re going to take with us, to get an idea how many boxes we’ll need, Natalia said.

The three of us went around the house. We had some pictures we’d need to take. Books. Was it smart to take books without taking bookshelves? Probably needed to take those too. Electronics. We had laptops, no TV’s, no stereos, so that would be easy. We were already light on things we needed to move because of the fire that burned down our house in New Brunswick. Even yet, not much of what I’d had in my old house had been replaced. It had just been stuff.

We would have to pack pretty much the whole kitchen, and all the closets. That raised the question of whether to just take the clothes from the dressers, or the dressers too? The new tenants might need dressers. We decided to leave them here.

Natalia totted up the number of boxes she thought we’d need while I stood by, waiting.

You ain’t gonna come up with your own estimate? Lucinda asked.

I shrugged. She’s better at this stuff than me. Besides, we can take any unused boxes back if we get too many, and we can always go get more if we don’t get enough.

Natalia finished her figuring, then stood up with her piece of paper. Here’s what we need.

I looked over the paper. Looks good. Let’s go get them.

You want me to come help? Lucinda asked.

Only two seats in the van, I said.

She looked to Natalia. Do you need to do anything here?

Natalia paused for a second, then shook her head. Nah, I’m going to go with Creigh to get boxes.

All right, Lucinda said.

You can help when we get back, Natalia said.

Okay.

Lucinda went back to her side of the duplex as we walked out to the van.

Natalia buckled herself up as I started the engine.

What the hell was that about? Natalia asked.

Wait until we’re out of the driveway, I said, trying not to move my lips.

I backed out of the driveway and headed toward the Promenade U-Haul location.

Chapter Three

"What the hell was what about?" I asked.

Lucinda, she replied. Wearing her old hooker clothes for the range.

Those were—? I started, but stopped, because of course Natalia was right. Maybe she was happy she could fit in them again.

Do you touch her when you go to the range? Natalia asked.

"Touch her? What do you mean, touch her?"

Nothing inappropriate, Natalia said. I mean, do you use your hands to correct her stance?

I had to think about it. Well, I have done it, but I don’t have to correct her stance every time. Her stance has been good for a while.

Maybe she was planning on having a bad stance today, Natalia commented.

So I’d touch her skin on skin, I said, pondering it.

Why not? Natalia said. She isn’t dating anybody.

Everybody knows she’s a former hooker, I said. Probably no one wants any part of that.

I drove in silence for a few moments, then added, I think it’s why the pastor won’t confirm us as Lutherans. We have a hooker living under our roof.

In her own place, Natalia said. Not our place.

I know, I replied. It frustrates me, too. I sighed heavily. Maybe we can finally get confirmed when we move to Ottawa.

Probably have to start from scratch, Natalia commented.

Probably. I sniffed, then said, She does look really good.

I appreciated it, Natalia admitted. At least, up until the point I realized what she was up to.

She might have been putting on that show for you, I commented. She knows what I said when she moved up here. Now that she’s in training, we’re in a professional relationship.

No more sleeping with us, Natalia said.

Exactly.

After a minute, Natalia commented, She’s not in training anymore.

She didn’t know that when she picked out her wardrobe, I said. Unless she did. Did she somehow overhear me on the phone with Carl?

"And it is a hot day, Natalia replied, then shook her head. I don’t know."

And she didn’t hide her clothes from you, I said. If she wanted to hit on me, maybe she would have put something over top and then did the big reveal at the range.

Natalia sighed. Are we going to ask her about it?

Let’s just put the best construction on it for now, I replied. She doesn’t have long to execute if she has some kind of hidden agenda.

We turned into the U-Haul parking lot and parked. As we were going in, an old man came out, did a double-take when he recognized Natalia from the old newspaper stories, looked at me, then hustled his way to his car.

I am so sick of this fucking place, Natalia commented. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted out of here until I found out for sure we are going.

I sighed, ending my sigh with yep.

The girl behind the counter either didn’t know who we were, or was helpful anyway. We rounded up the boxes we needed in silence. We paid for them, put them in the back of the van, and were on our way.

There was a risk on every trip out that someone would recognize Natalia. If someone recognized her, they generally didn’t say anything, but the judgment was written on their faces, and they hurried away from her. They seemed to remember only the scandal, that she had been arrested and sent to prison to wait for trial on the suspicion that she was involved in a spate of child murders here, but not the fact that I had found the real killers and put a stop to the killings, and that Natalia had been released. Perhaps if there had been an actual not guilty verdict instead of a dismissal of charges, the people here may have accepted that she is innocent.

In Ottawa, we would be anonymous. No one would know, nor care, who we were.

Sometimes I wonder if I’d gone to trial and been found not guilty, it would have made a difference to the people here, Natalia said.

Funny, I was just thinking about the same thing.

Natalia nodded. I knew you were thinking about something. You went quiet.

After a few moments of silence, Natalia continued, I wonder if there are rumours that Lucinda was my prison lover.

Well, she was, I said.

Yes, but do these people know that, do you think?

Know it? No, I replied. Speculate about it, probably. They probably assume it’s true.

Does that bother you? Natalia asked. People probably look at you as a cuckold, who is so whipped you let her live next door.

Nobody has ever said anything about it to me, I said.

Does it bother you?

To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about that, I replied. It sort of bothers me now.

Well, when we leave her behind, I guess they’ll know better.

I thought about that for a few moments, then said, I don’t really care what they think they know. I’ve spent years of my life protecting the people of this country from things they don’t know, things they don’t believe exist.

I glanced at her. "Besides, maybe they think I’m a stud because I’m doing both of you."

You have, Natalia said.

That one night, yeah, I said. It was supposed to fix your shame and my jealousy.

I still feel shame when people look at me the way they do, Natalia said. Like I’m ‘unclean’, a leper or something.

Like a person with a discharge, I said.

Natalia smiled. I might have to give you a discharge later.

I chuckled. We’ll probably be too tired after packing. You know what they say about the best laid plans.

"I have plans to get laid, anyway," Natalia replied.

I laughed. We’ll see.

No, really, I want to do it tonight, Natalia said.

I looked at her curiously. Seeing Lucinda dressed like that turned you on, didn’t it?

Yeah, Natalia admitted. But I only want to take it out on my husband.

Gotcha, I said. Well, she’s probably going to be dressed the same way to help us pack. Because it’s hot, you know.

Just more fuel for the fire, Natalia said, and put her hand on my leg.

Soon we were turning into the driveway. As soon as got parked and opened the back of the van to get the boxes out, Lucinda was there beside me, dressed just the same as she had been, to help us take the boxes inside. The three of us wrestled all the boxes in the door. Natalia had a little sweat on her brow just from that much exertion. Lucinda was right about one thing—it was hot.

You’re lookin’ hot, Lucinda commented to Natalia.

Huh? Natalia asked, taken off guard—even blushing.

You’re hot, Lucinda said. Sweatin’ a little.

Oh, yeah, Natalia replied, realizing that she meant literally hot, not a colloquialism for sexy. She blushed even more deeply for having assumed the wrong meaning. You’re right, it’s a hot day.

Do you got shorts that fit? Lucinda inspected Natalia’s chest. I might have one of these that would fit you, she added, pulling at one of the spaghetti straps on her own tank top.

Natalia’s face was red. Um, probably, she allowed.

I’ll go see what I can find, Lucinda said, and headed out the door.

Natalia looked at me, striken.

Just more fuel for the fire, I said. I’m going to go get the tape gun so we can put these boxes together.

Chapter Four

Natalia emerged from the bedroom wearing one of Lucinda’s larger tank tops and her own pair of shorts that were nicely (in my opinion) high on the thigh. The tank top was pretty tight on her. It doesn’t quite cover my belly, she said, her face still pink with embarrassment.

Lucinda spared her a glance. Ain’t like you’re goin’ out like that, she said. It’ll keep you cooled off.

I took in both women for a moment; Natalia’s milk-white skin was a contrast with Lucinda’s dark chocolate; a stark contrast not quite as pronounced as the white cream in a chocolate Oreo cookie, but reminiscent. I felt a bit of a twinge down below, then put that out of my mind and went back to taking down the artwork and putting it in a picture-frame box.

What do you think? Natalia asked me.

Looks fine, I said. It’s just for packing, in here with us. Does it bother you? You have tee shirts.

It ain’t that different from a ‘belly shirt’, Lucinda said.

I’ve never worn a belly shirt in my life, Natalia said.

Lucinda shrugged. Looks good on you to me. An’ it’ll feel better than gettin’ all hot an’ sweaty.

Natalia contemplated this for a moment, then started working. The ladies went into the kitchen while I continued through every room, collecting the picture frames. It didn’t take me very long and soon I went into the kitchen, where I found them both on their knees on the floor, working on packing the lower cupboards.

I got one of those dirty looks while we were at the U-Haul, Natalia was saying when I walked in.

Oh, I seen them before, Lucinda groaned. I shouldda got you to get some boxes for me, Creigh made me a fine offer to manage your buildin’ here, but the people around here hate my guts.

How do you know? I asked, and Lucinda jumped and bumped her head on an open drawer. Shit, she said.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, I said.

You walk so fuckin’ quiet, Lucinda said. I din’t even know you was there.

It made me think of Dean, who said I walked too loudly. I hadn’t talked to Dean these whole nine months I was back in Canada. I was embarrassed because I’d had sex with him when we were in France and in Serbia. It was contrary to my professed conservative Christianity, as well as my absolute heterosexuality. I just didn’t know how to approach speaking to him again.

Lucinda squinted up at me. Care to share your thoughts?

Nothing important, I said. How do you know the townspeople hate you?

The dirty looks, like Natalia got when you was at U-Haul, she said. If they weren’t so scared of you, God knows what they’d do to us.

Really? I asked. You think they’d get violent?

"They’d do somethin’ to drive us out of town. Vandalism. Verbal abuse. Maybe worse. Anyway I think I shouldn’t stay."

There was a knock on the door. Natalia’s head whipped around to look, her face already reddening in embarrassment, presumably at her unusually skimpy mode of dress. The door opened without my answering and Brutus came in.

Brutus! I said. I thought you were in the States.

I was, he said, taking in the scene, his eyes lingering a bit long on Natalia and then Lucinda. I don’t think we’ve ever met.

Lucinda Parsons, she said, shaking his hand.

Brutus Green, he replied. His eyes lingered on Lucinda another moment, then he looked around the kitchen. You guys moving out?

I got my call to go up to Ottawa, I said.

Career advancement, Brutus said absently.

What about you? I asked. What are you doing back here?

Brutus scratched the side of his face. Nothing much, yet. That’s what I came to talk to you about. I can see you’re pretty busy, though.

Yeah, pretty busy, I agreed.

You moving the furniture? he asked.

No, I think I’m going to try to rent it furnished, I said.

Brutus scratched his nose. Well, younger people like that. Helps them be more mobile.

And I should be able to get more for rent, I added.

Well, if you change your mind, I’d drive it to Ottawa for you, Brutus said. I mean, you could hire me. I’d be cheaper than those van lines.

That’s a nice offer, thanks, I replied. Are you back to stay? Maybe you’d like this place.

I’m not back to stay, Brutus said. I went down to the States mainly to meet Maddy Malone.

I wondered if that was why, I said. Just a sec. I turned to Natalia. I think I can pack up all of our winter clothes while Brutus and I talk. Is that okay with you?

Sounds good, she replied.

Thanks, I said, and led Brutus into the living room, where I set up one of the clothing boxes, the ones with the hanging bar. So did you meet her?

I did, Brutus said. She wasn’t what I expected.

Well, I mean, the person you knew from porn is just a character, right? I said. I mean, it’s weirdly kind of like wrestling, the character is sort of an exaggeration of your real personality.

Yeah, exactly, Brutus said. Her personality is nothing like her porn personality, though.

It kind of was, I said. Well, at least I think it was, the night she stayed here.

She come on to you?

A little, yeah, I said.

Brutus shook his head. Not me. She had no interest in sex at all. She says she’s not doing it again before marriage.

Because she’s a Christian now, I said.

Yeah, Brutus replied. You and Natalia had sex before you were married, didn’t you?

We aren’t the best examples to follow, I replied.

But, you did, right?

We did, I said. We did that and worse. A hell of a lot worse. I glanced toward the kitchen. I’m tempted to do worse even now.

I opened the closet by the front door and started moving the winter clothes into the box. Brutus helped.

I can’t imagine marrying somebody you haven’t taken to bed with you, Brutus said.

I frowned at him. You kind of know she’s going to be good at it, right? Considering her past career?

Well, I suppose, although that’s sort of acting for her, too, Brutus replied.

True, I agreed.

I’m more worried about whether I’d be up to her standards, Brutus said. I mean, after all the men she would have been with.

Did she say that was a concern of hers? I asked.

"Well, no, but she wasn’t interested in even talking about sex, or her career for that matter."

What’s she doing now?

Retail. She’s at a Wal-Mart. Like, you’d think she’d be recognized, but no.

I shrugged. It’s hard to recognize someone out of context. She probably wasn’t wearing a Wal-Mart uniform in her videos.

Brutus chuckled. "No, no she wasn’t. She wasn’t wearing anything in her videos."

He put the last item in the box and I taped it shut. Tell me. Do you still watch her videos?

Brutus paused. I tried to, but I can’t. She has a fantastic body, believe me. And I think she enjoyed her work before, too. But now she’s ashamed of it, and it kind of made me ashamed watching it.

She’s human to you now, I said.

Yeah, Brutus said, but I’m also learning what kind of shitbags she worked for.

That piqued my curiosity. Is she safe down there? I asked. You remember, some mob asshole came up here to try to get Melvin to tell him where she was.

She’s not safe, Brutus said. That’s why I wanted to talk to you.

Tell me more, I replied.

The movie people are pissed off at her. She was contracted to do four more movies with these guys when she broke her contract. Melvin broke his contract too, by the way. You remember Brandi Lust?

I wrinkled my nose. I remember Brandi. I never heard her last name.

Well, it’s her stage name, of course, Brutus said. She kept her contract. So, when they cast her in a movie with three guys, she thought it was fine. It started out like regular porn, but then they beat the shit out of her, on camera. In the end they cut her face.

Anger surged within me but I shut it down. There was nothing I could, or should, do about that now.

They got the video to Maddy, not directly, but through friends, Brutus said. Trying to send her a message. ‘This is your fault for breaking our contract. You’ll get hurt worse.’ Stuff like that.

I’m very sorry to hear they did that, I said woodenly.

It scared Maddy pretty badly, Brutus commented.

I paused, then asked, Is she here, with you?

Not yet, Brutus said. I was wondering if you’d know anyone who might be able to get her into Canada.

Does she have her US passport? I asked.

She does, but I can only bring her in for so long, Brutus said. I’ve got to get her up here permanently and make her disappear.

I considered this, then sighed nervously. There’s a price to pay for favours like that.

I’ll pay it, Brutus said.

Don’t be hasty, I said. "I’ll discuss it with a guy I know and we’ll see what we can do. If it’s possible, what we do will depend a lot on what you’re willing to do."

I’ll do anything for her, Brutus said.

I sighed. Unless you’re married, I’d advise you to never say that.

Chapter Five

Is Brutus gone? asked Natalia when I came back into the kitchen.

Yup.

She stood up and leaned against the counter. What a humiliating experience that was.

What? I asked.

Me with my belly hanging out of this tank top, Natalia griped. He probably thought you had a trained seal on your kitchen floor.

Lucinda jumped to her feet. Hey, now, she said, that boy didn’t see nothin’ he didn’t like.

Yeah, right, Natalia replied, pulling at the bottom of the tank top in a futile attempt cover more of her belly.

Nah, really, Lucinda said. I got a lot of experience knowin’ what a guy likes and doesn’t like. He liked what he saw.

Natalia blushed, feeling flustered. He liked looking at you, maybe.

Lucinda chuckled. He gave you more eye-time, she said, then turned back to her work.

Eye-time? Natalia asked.

He looked at you more’n he looked at me, Lucinda explained. He prob’ly prefers white girls and I got no problem with that.

Natalia and I looked at each other. Lucinda looked up at us and sensed our discomfort.

He din’t mean anything by it, Lucinda said. He din’t come in here thinkin’, ‘I’m gonna check out Creigh’s woman.’ He just accidentally saw your body an’ liked what he saw. He snapped out of it when you started talkin’.

He gave you a good look when you introduced yourselves, I said.

Yeah, well, he realized he can’t have the one he liked the best, and kinda checked out the other one, Lucinda said. Kinda checked me out an’ dismissed me. Like I said, it don’t bother me.

Lucinda started working again, then looked up at me again. That don’t bother you, does it? Your friend Brutus was just lookin’ at a good lookin’ woman he stumbled in on.

I sighed. No worries, it doesn’t make me mad. I pondered it for a few moments, long enough that Natalia started to go back to work, then I said, Those are some pretty fine observational skills.

Lucinda smiled a little, but didn’t look up from her packing. Why, thank you.

I watched her work. Natalia paused and glanced at me.

So if you noticed that, you must have noticed that I’ve checked you out several times today, I said.

Lucinda froze. Well, yeah.

Why didn’t you bring it up?

I’m tryin’ to make Natalia feel better, not worse, Lucinda replied.

Have I checked out Natalia as well?

You’ve looked at her, and you like what you see, Lucinda replied. I dunno if you can call that ‘checkin’ out’ when you two is already married.

Do I like what I see when I look at you? I asked.

Lucinda’s face darkened a bit—blushing. Why are you askin’ these questions?

I wonder if I’m making a mistake letting you go, I said.

Both women stopped working and looked at me. What do you mean? Natalia asked.

I haven’t told anyone about my decision to end your training, I said to Lucinda. Carl knows I’m considering ending it, but we left it sort of open-ended. He is reluctant to let you go. Maybe I’m just starting to see what he’s seen in you all along. Maybe your observational ability is what makes him so ahoy about you.

Well, you’re right that I ain’t no good with guns, an’ I just learned how to drive, an’ I probably can’t fight, Lucinda said.

No, you’re a pretty good fighter, too, I said. "When you’re in survival mode, when it’s really real, you’re a damn good fighter."

Lucinda slowly stood. You think so?

Listen, you beat up Natalia’s sister while you were tied to a bed. The resourcefulness to create the opening, then successfully use it—that’s impressive in a lot of ways. So is your observational ability.

Natalia stood up and leaned against the kitchen counter, watching us.

"So, are you sayin’ you didn’t notice the things I noticed?" Lucinda asked.

I shook my head. I’m pretty sure every man notices when another man checks out his woman, I said. I noticed that you checked her out, too. And that you liked what you saw.

Lucinda hung her head, glanced at Natalia, then looked back to me. Busted, she said.

No worries, I said. Natalia checked you out, too, but then she got a little pissed thinking you might be making a play for me.

I wouldn’t have done that, Lucinda said.

So, why did you come over dressed the way you were? I asked, folding my arms and leaning against the kitchen table.

I was proud of the changes to my body from trainin’, she said. I wanted to show both of you. I wanted to show you that we are makin’ progress, and, well, yeah, I wanted to see how both of you would react.

Lucinda sighed and looked at the floor. I ain’t been feelin’ very attractive since I moved up here. Nobody even wants to look at me. You two ain’t touchin’ me, an’ I think the people around here assume you’re fuckin’ me on the regular.

I sighed. Yeah, they probably do think that.

When you two looked at me, in a sexual way for the first time in a long time, I felt attractive again, Lucinda said.

Why did you want to dress Natalia like that?

Lucinda smiled thinly and shrugged. I wanted to ogle her, she said with a brief laugh. I wanted you to ogle both of us. I kinda hoped... Her voice trailed off.

Hoped what? I asked.

Well, the rule was we couldn’t sleep together while I was in trainin’, Lucinda replied. Then, suddenly, I wasn’t in trainin’ anymore.

You wanted to seduce us, I said.

I wanted to see what happened, Lucinda said defensively. Look, you two are one flesh, right, because you got married. That’s what your religion says.

Yes, that’s true. I wondered how she knew that.

So, I can see it bein’ adultery to sleep with one of you or the other, Lucinda said, but if you both do it with me, it’s one flesh, mine, doin’ it with one flesh, yours, the both of you in the union of marriage bein’ one flesh.

You’ve been doing some reading, I commented.

Yeah.

What do you think about Jesus? I asked.

Huh?

The Bible’s about Jesus, I said. What do you think about him?

Well, I didn’t really read about Jesus, Lucinda said.

Let me guess. Do you mind if I guess? She shook her head. "You found some web sites advocating Christian polygamy, but it’s really polygyny because they only really support one man being married to multiple women. And they trotted out a bunch of justifications from Scripture."

Lucinda shook her head. You’re a good guesser.

I used to think the same way, I said. Natalia knows. She likes women; she has for a long time, even before we got married. And I’ve tried to justify tripod relationships from Scripture. We even made our own wedding vows to allow for it. I was a very law-based Christian.

Lucinda sighed nervously. "You said you was."

I’m a Lutheran now, I said. They won’t confirm me, but, in every other way, I am.

What’s the difference?

I think Dietrich Bonhoeffer put it pretty well. He was a Lutheran, not quite the same as the church I go to, but close enough. He said, ‘Cheap grace means the justification of the sin without the justification of the sinner.’ I’d say what he meant by that was, we offer ourselves grace by finding excuses for our sin in the law in the Bible. Jesus’s offer of grace is different. What he wants to do is justify us, our entire person, by the Gospel, by his fulfilling the Law for us by dying in our place. Believing that changes you without you even trying.

Let me just hit fast-forward here, Creigh, Lucinda said. I’m guessin’ this don’t mean you and your wife are gonna take me to bed and fuck me.

You’re right, I replied. Part of me would love to, but we can’t do it. You know how you’re bothered and antsy because you aren’t getting laid? We would be bothered like that if we took you to bed. We would be bothered by being out of a right relationship with God.

Lucinda absorbed that, then said, I think I’m gonna leave for a while.

Okay, I said. Look, if nothing else I said sticks with you, remember this part. When you read the Bible, read it to learn about Jesus.

I’ll get right on that, Lucinda said. She went to the door, paused and looked back at me. "Actually, since we’re bein’ all honest, what I’m really gonna get right on is my vibrator. An’ I’ll be thinkin’ about her—she nodded her head in Natalia’s direction—while I do it."

With that, she left, closing the door gently behind her.

I expected Natalia would rush after her, but she didn’t. I looked at her, and she said, Well, that went better than expected.

What do you mean? I asked.

She walked past me and said, I expected her to slam the door. I’m going to go change.

Chapter Six

Natalia returned wearing the same shorts, but with a tee shirt that covered her and was more comfortable for her. Let’s get back at it, she said. We still need to move and we can’t wait for her.

We continued on the kitchen, wrapping plates in paper and putting them in boxes.

I’m planning on fucking one of our other friends, I said. Figuratively.

Who?

Brutus, I said. I’m thinking about recruiting him.

Why is that suddenly a possibility?

He needs something, I replied. He’s in some sort of relationship with this ex-porn starlet, Maddy Malone, the younger of the two women who were working with Melvin when I realized he was a werewolf.

These are the two you took to our house to protect them from Melvin’s transformation, Natalia said.

You remember the story, I said.

I should, the older one wanted to have sex with you.

I shrugged. Well, she was disappointed. When I drove them and Melvin to the airport the next day, I talked about Jesus on the ride. Brandi—that’s the older one—wasn’t much interested, but Maddy was. She investigated when she got home, and she has apparently converted, and quit the porn business.

Good for her, Natalia commented, putting another plate in the box while I got another one down to wrap.

The porn producer, that is, the people paying for the work, were mob people, I said. "Melvin and Maddy quit, and apparently they owed the mob four more movies. Brandi stayed on to honour the contract, and they cast her in what seemed at first to be a porn movie—her with three men—but then they beat her up and cut her