The Issues of Crush

By Tomori Oyewumi

This is the most captivating and inspiring book you will ever read about teenagers and love matters among the youths. The author really treated the topic in a simple, deep and advance manner which will transform and save many teens from life accident. This book will change the thinking of many misled teens and youths, and save their destinies from destiny hunters that come as boy or girl friend.
Crush, infatuation and lust are well defined for even the simple to understand. If there is a book parents and friends should buy as a gift to their teens for birthday present or christmas gift, I would recommend this book. I pray that this book will reach teens in millions globally in Jesus name.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tomori Oyewumi
• Release date: Feb 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781370925803

Tomori Oyewumi

I am a native of masifa Ejigbo, Osun State. I was born in Lagos on 28th February, 1980.I had my primary education at First Olukotun Baptist Day School, Iwo between 1985 to 1990. Also I gained admission to Igando Grammar School, Igando and Egan Grammar School, Egan, Lagos between 1991 and 1998 respectively for my Junior and Secondary education. From there, I proceeded to Ladoke Akintola University, Ogbomoso, where I bagged a Bachelor of Technology in Physiology in the year 2012.I got born again on June 1998 at Bride of the Living King Ministry, Iwo, Osun State, under the ministration of Reverend Dayo Odekunle. And since the, God has been helping me to grow in His grace.I had served as Biology and Agricultural Science class teacher at Kings and Queens Academy, Ofatedo, Osun State (2014 -2017). I also worked at Sure Foundation Nursery and Primary School, Osogbo (2004 – 2006). At a time, I worked at University College Hospital, Institute for Medical Research and Training , Ibadan, Oyo State (2011 – 2012).To the glory of God, I have been used of God in the following leadership roles at Association level: I was the Prayer Coordinator, The President and Nominating Committee Chairman of Zion 1 Association Baptist Students’ Fellowship at various times. During my school days, I held these positions: Evangelism Coordinator, Predegree Students’Coordinator and Nominating Committee Chairman Baptist Students’ Fellowship, Ladoke Akintola, Universiy. At present, I am the Teenagers Coordinator at Union Baptist Church, Owode – Ede.I got married to my Sweetheart on 19th April, 2014 and my union is blessed with two wonderful kids.

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Acknowledgement

I give glory to God for this rear grace He granted me to write this book. I am proud to have you as my father. I also appreciate my Mentor, Rev. Dr Shinal Adeola for the seed you sown many years back has grown and now bearing fruits. Thank you for the push and encouragement you game me to write this book. I pray you will always be relevant. I also appreciate the favour I received from God, my lovely wife for her immense support during and after the writing of this book. My special appreciation also go to my Pastor, Rev Lawrence, Wumi Ajayi. Despite your tight schedules, you make it a duty to edit this book. May God honour and reward you greatly. I also appreciate my brother in the Lord, daddy, Oludare Olunlade for corrections made on this book. God will continue to increase you in all ways. I must also appreciate my in-law, bro Adekola Ajayi for computer editing and printing. A Tech Computer will continue to grow stronger. It is well with you

Dedication

I dedicate this book to all fathers, mothers, teenagers, youth and singles.

MY COMMENT

This is the most captivating and inspiring book I have ever read about teenagers and love matters among the youths. The author really treated the topic in a simple, deep and advance manner which will transform and save many teens from life accident. This book will change the thinking of many misled teens and youths, and save their destinies from destiny hunters that come as boy or girl friend.

Crush, infatuation and lust are well defined for even the simple to understand. If there is a book parents and friends should buy as a gift to their teens for birthday present or christmas gift, I would recommend this book. I pray that this book will reach teens in millions globally in Jesus name.

Dr Glory Adeola,

Senior Pastor and President,

Living Manna Church Int’l and Living Manna Bible College,

Lagos. Nigeria

CHAPTER ONE

CRUSH IS A FEELING

In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar…2Sam.13:1

Wait a minute, do these describe you? You both attend the same church, you are going to the same school, and you both like the same food, the same game. How could anyone else have so much in common? He has the coolest hair, and he is so funny, but every time you see him, you feel shy and embarrassed. You love always to be around him, you even tell a good friend of yours about that special person you like so much, you think and dream about him. You don't even talk, but every time you enter the church the first person you look for is he, when you get to school and you did not see him you lose your peace, but the funny thing is you feel nervous whenever you see her. Your face feels hot and your cheeks get red, you feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide. And sometimes when you see him you might imagine him noticing you and sharing the same feelings. If a girl or boy is making you feel this way, you might be wondering, What is going on? You may not even understand it. Well, it feels like you have a crush. Yes, except you want to deny it.

In the Bible passage above, Amnon has close to the same experience with his half sister Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. In our contemporary time, we can say Amnon has crush towards his half sister Tamar. What type of crush is this? What causes it? Did he overcome it? Is it a sin to have such feeling? All these and many more are waiting for answer as you read further.

What is crush?

2 Sam 13:4b

…Amnon fell in love with Tamar

If you ask Amnon how he feels he will tell you I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. If this happens in our day, we will regard it as being absurd for a brother to fall in love with his half sister; the same father but different mothers. Not that we can’t see this kind of experience in this generation, we can, but it is not normal. I have seen siblings of the same mother and father who fell in love with each other and having sex with each other. It is not just absurd but demonic.

The definitions of crush

Just as our bodies grow as we get older, so do our feelings. They change and mature as we become preteens, teenagers, and adults.

A crush is a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like.

Crush is an emotional feeling of love that is commonly found among the adolescents and this feeling of love, most times, doesn’t usually last.

It is a temporary love of the adolescents. OR simply put as a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like. Just as our bodies grow and we get older, so do our feelings.

Amnon developed a strong, temporal feeling of love for his half sister, Tamar. This feeling was so strong that Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister, Tamar. He didn’t know what to do and how to express his mind. So strong can be the feeling

of crush. Are you having this same experience like Amnon? Then, you are having a crush. …he fell in love…2 Sam 13:4b.

There is no way we shall talk about crush that love/like will not be mentioned

What is love?

A lot of young people don’t have a correct definition for love. Not only young people, some adults don’t have right definition for love; if they have, love would not have been abused like it is today.

Love can be simply defined as having a great affection or liking for someone. Having an affection or liking for someone does not call for abuse like we see in young people. In fact, God wants us to like and have affection for one another without any ulterior motive. We are created to love and that is one of the reason God made us an emotional being that has ability to feel. You remember that love is a feeling. You are created to love God and to love your fellow human beings.

We have three type of love:

Phileo love: This has to do with brotherly love. It is the type of love you have towards your siblings, friends, parents and well wishers

Eros: This is a romantic or sexual love. It can only be seen in couples. It must only be expressedin marriage.

Agape love: This isGod's kind of love. It is an unconditional love. It is sacrificial in nature. It is this love that made God to release His only begotten son to die for us sinners

As a young person, God expects you to express the unconditional kind of love. If you will categorize crush, under what type of love will you put it? And are you sure at your age you can express this 3 types of love without any reservation? Agape love is the God kinds of love and it is what God is expecting from everybody, either male or female. God is expecting something from you, and that is agape love. I will talk about this later. May you meet up with Gods expectation for your life and destiny. Amen!

Your crush

Your crush might be a classmate, a neighbor, your best friend's crush, an older kid, a friend of your brother or sister, a sister or brother of a friend, or a teacher at your school. Your crush could even be towards someone you don't know, like a professional athlete or a celebrity. In this case, you might be imagining what that person is like. Maybe you think about what it would be like to meet that person, even though you know you probably never will. You might find yourself writing the name of your crush over and over again in a notebook or telling a good friend about that special person you like so much.

When you have crush

Having a crush is to have a special feeling for somebody. This feeling may make you feel strange, shy, giddy around the person. Sometimes you may even feel speechless when you see such. You may feel like giving a call or teasing the person to get his or her attention. You may always feel being with or seeing the person. You may keep this feeling a secret or tell a friend. If not your first time, you may tell your object of crush how you feel, that is if you are bold enough.

As a first timer, noticing your first crush is an exciting time in life because you're beginning to understand how it feels to like another person. Sometimes, feelings for a crush can be confusing because they're new to you and you aren't sure how to act. And that is what we see in Amnon, he didn’t know what to do with his feeling. You could have mixed feelings. When you see your crush, a part of you might feel embarrassed and you might want to run away and hide. Another part of you might imagine your crush noticing you and sharing the same feelings.

Is having crush a sin?

2 Sam 13:11b

…he grabbed her and said, Come to bed with me, my sister.

Crush is a temporal emotional feeling of love toward an opposite sex. Having an emotional feeling is natural. In as much as we live in this body of clay we are bound to feel. Feeling can be happiness, joy, anger, sadness etc. When you possess the ability to feel, it shows you are a normal human being. It shows you are growing normally. It even shows that you are a living thing because one of the characteristics of living things is irritability (ability to respond to stimuli). God created us a social being that has ability to relate. He created us male and female. At a certain stage of our growth (Puberty/ Adolescence), some hormones are activated in boys and girls which may lead to a strong force of attraction to an opposite sex. Therefore, having a crush is never a sin but rather shows that we are humane; we are fearfully and wonderfully created. It shows we are growing fine. But this truth we must bear in mind: crush becomes a sin when it begins to control us. Having emotional feeling is neither bad nor sinful, but it becomes a sin when our emotion begins to control us rather than us controlling it.

It is normal to have both negative and positive emotion, but a man is said to be strong if he gains control over his emotions, especially the negative ones. There are a lot of people who can’t tame their emotions. They lack self control. There is no one on earth that doesn’t have the tendencies to be ruled by its negative emotion. Actually, it takes a man that is full of the Holy Spirit to gain mastery over his emotions. Flesh and blood is not capable of this.

The emotional feeling Amnon had towards Tamar made him lose his sense, he couldn’t control it, he was overwhelmed with crush, he did not know what to do, and he even fell sick for it. Amnon was being obsessed by lust that some called love today. This feeling of love was so great that his friend Jonadab