Fair to Piddling: A Journey Through Midlife in Humorous Verse

By Lizzie Nelson

A common phrase we hear among middle-aged women is, 'Is it is just me or..?'. Such as, is it just me or is it boiling in here? Is it just me or is it very loud in here? Is it just me or is the writing on this menu really tiny? Is it just me or does this song have an awful lot of swearing in it?
Well, hooray! It's not just you! We're all learning to live with our changing bodies, menopause and an evolving perception of the world around us.
Fair to Piddling is a hilarious collection of verse charting a journey from parenthood to post menopause. While it certainly touches on menopause, it is not entirely about hot flashes, gin and chocolate (I lie, there is a fair bit about chocolate) but rather those moments; unexpected observations and conversations that flavor our experience of midlife.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 31, 2019
• ISBN: 9781543992205

Book preview

cover.jpg

Lisa Nelson

Fair to Piddling

ISBN (Print Edition): 978-1-54399-219-9

ISBN (eBook Edition): 978-1-54399-220-5

© 2019. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

For my mother.

Contents

Introduction

Thirties: Little People

Food Diary

Handbag

Thanks, Kids!

Nano Nanny

It’s Not the End of the World

Let’s Have a Video Chat!

Mom-entary Envy

Deceptions of an Everything’s Yummy Mummy

Craving

Free Sampling at Costco

In (and Out) Parenthesis

Forties: Changes

Possibly Still Good for a Stir Fry

Leaving the House

Let’s Face It

Beards

Toenails

Bra

My Thong Song

Never to Be Said to Her

Hot Love

Insomniaaaargh!

Period Drama

Old Spice

Fifties: Forgetfulness

Climbing the Stairs

Mature TV

Destination

Quest

Map

Big Knickers

Cotton Wool Head

Hairs

Dog Years

Expiry Date

Viking Funeral

Repurposed

Artyfarty

Measured

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Do you find yourself saying, Stop me if I’ve told you this before? Or, I can’t eat that, it’ll go right through me! Or even, Hang on, I just need another quick pee. And especially, What was I just saying? Then, hello there! We are fellow travelers.

What seemed like a particularly swift journey for me—from the bubbling springs of youth to the estuary of middle age—was actually the happiest. Although it felt shortened by an early menopause, it was made more than tolerable