Life On Our Own Terms: Older and Bolder, #1

By Dr Angela C Robertson

Life On Our Own Terms

 

The inspiration for this book came from chatting with many animated individuals who have reached mid-life and beyond and for whom chronological age is no barrier to making conscious lifestyle choices.  The 19 individuals featured in this book are living fabulous, fulfilling lives on their own terms, and so can we.  Their experiences and attitudes have shaped who they are.  They have made up their minds about how they want to spend their time and who they want to spend it with.  They pursue their passions, seek new opportunities, make big decisions, try new experiences, are adventurous, invest in meaningful relationships, enjoy a good laugh, are connected to family and the community, and plan and look forward to the future.  It's a privilege to share their stories with you.  I do hope you enjoy them.  After all, life is a gift for us to enjoy. 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paradise Publishing
• Release date: Dec 16, 2019
• ISBN: 9780473500832

Dr Angela C Robertson

Dr Angela Robertson is an experienced learning and development practitioner, coach, writer and speaker.  She encourages and supports individuals and teams to engage in the new and enriched experiences that change presents to enhance the quality of their lives, work and relationships.  Angela lives with her husband Bill on the beautiful Kapiti Coast in New Zealand. 

Book preview

Life On Our Own Terms

Preface

The inspiration for this book came from so many animated individuals, who have reached mid-life and beyond and have chosen to live life on their own terms.  A huge debt of gratitude is due to the 19 people featured in this book who generously shared their stories with me.  This collection of personal stories is about men and women from all walks of life, who range in age from 65 to 98 years, who have not ‘retired’ in the traditional sense.  These remarkable men and women are flourishing in the second half of life, actively channeling their energy into purposeful meaningful activities on a daily basis.  They pursue their passions, proactively maintain their health and wellbeing, invest in meaningful relationships, enjoy a good laugh, seek new opportunities and challenges, engage in productive work whether paid or unpaid, and are connected to the community.  Ageing is inevitable, but for these individuals their chronological age is no barrier to making conscious lifestyle choices in the second half of life. 

It’s a privilege to share these stories with you.  Life is a gift for us to enjoy.  I hope this book will help dispel anxiety about ageing and encourage you to pursue your passions and live life on your own terms.

Introduction

There has never been a better time.  Globally, the population is ageing.  By 2025 there will be an estimated 1.25 billion people over the age of 60.  Annually the number of centenarians is growing.  Although there is no way of knowing how long we are going to live, with dramatic improvements in health care and notable increases in life expectancy, there is a good chance that many of us will live to 90 and beyond – a lot longer than our predecessors.  Increased longevity provides us with so many opportunities, so why does society have such a pernicious view of ageing.  Let’s face it, many of us struggle with the reality of growing older.  Few of us look forward to being 50, 60, 70 or 80 years of age.  Nevertheless, ageing is inevitable.  Whilst we have no control over our chronological age, if we proactively take care of our physical and mental wellbeing, we can influence our biological age.  The chances of living a full, healthy enjoyable life are higher than ever when we make good lifestyle choices to maximise the benefits and minimise the drawbacks of getting older.  While it is appreciated that we are all wired differently, how we age and how we feel about it influences our lifestyle choices. 

Mid-life is a time for reflection, revisioning, and reigniting our lives.  In the past we may have been focused on learning, earning and raising our families.  With so many responsibilities there may have been limited time to put our energy into the relationships and activities that matters most to us.  Looking ahead, towards what we may traditionally call ‘retirement’, we have potentially only lived for two-thirds of our lives.  Compulsory retirement is a thing of the past in the developed world.  A new life-stage has been created for which we have no terminology.  We are growing older, but we are not ‘over the hill’, ‘worn out’, ‘un-productive’, ‘old’ or ‘elderly’ at any pre-determined age.  Age brings advantages that no previous generation has had.  This is a cause for celebration as the potential to live longer and healthier lives creates new opportunities and exciting challenges for everyone. 

What thoughts come to mind when you think ahead?  On the same journey myself I wondered how others aged 60 + had approached this stage in their lives.  What was their perspective on ageing?  Had they planned ‘retirement’?  How did they transition from one stage of life to another or was this a continuous journey? How were they spending their additional years?  Like many people I read widely on the subject, but I wanted to hear personal stories from ordinary, everyday people, who were also on this life journey.  I randomly asked people to share their stories with me in exchange for a pot of home-made jam.  During our conversations I captured the context of their earlier lives, their plans and lifestyle choices.  It was a humbling experience.  These individuals are living fabulous, fulfilling lives, on their own terms.  It’s with their permission that I can share their stories with you. 

Let me introduce you to them.

Molly Burke

Molly grew up in Anaheim, California, just three blocks from Disneyland.  In her teens she became an apprentice to a Dutch florist in Anaheim who specialised in weddings.  This proved to be an excellent training ground as the job provided her with the opportunity to work with the top designers and to meet people from all walks of life.  She moved to San Francisco when she was 23 years old and believes her life in this vibrant city shaped her character.  Over time, with her outgoing personality, people and organisational skills, and technical know-how, it was a natural transition for her to become a wedding consultant.  In this role she helped couples to plan their big day and project managed these events from whoa-to-go for them, including their choice of wedding costumes.  In this way she was able to minimise stress associated with this major life event and make their special day a joyful and memorable experience. 

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Alongside her consultancy work, Molly also had a stage career.  For as long as she can remember she has enjoyed singing, dancing and performing live theatre in front of big crowds.  In her 20-year career as a professional singer, she has sung songs from a wide variety of genres and styles including folk, ethnic and a-cappella when she was part of a quartet.  She has produced several albums and won music awards.  Molly was recognised as being multitalented in the Californian music world.  She could pick up accents, expressions and patter easily and effortlessly when singing snappy songs, so much so that she became an accomplished Diva over a 30-year period in British Music Hall events.  More than anything, Molly is fun and will turn her hand to any kind of performing, including belly dancing.

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While Molly lived in Northern California she got married, but after a while the couple parted ways.  During this period Molly was bereft and introspective.  She sought professional help, took time out of her busy schedule, booked a trip to Europe and spent the time travelling, reflecting and journaling.  She asked herself a critical question ‘What can I do to leverage my time in a smart way?’  She took stock of her unique talents, what she enjoyed and was good at, and contemplated the possibilities for the future.  Molly talked things through with a counsellor who suggested she consider Coaching as a legitimate profession.  Molly researched what was involved and made the decision that if she was going to take this up as a profession, she would study with the best Business Executive Coach in the country at the Coaches Training Institute in St. Rafael.  This Institute was the first accredited school of its kind in the United States and was renowned for its professional standards.  Molly trained for two-years and was mentored through the education process by the best Coach, just as she had planned.  When she graduated as a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), she completed the mandatory supervised coaching sessions and gained professional certification in accordance with professional standards and regulations, and then started her own coaching practice.  Molly also attended a rigorous advance level Leadership Programme to refine her Leadership skills.

Molly consciously considered the impact she wanted to have on everyone she met.  Her purpose in life is to ‘Light People Up’.  She does this both through her artistic endeavours and through her coaching practice.  Molly created the Life Purpose Discovery Method which she applies in a single half day session with each client.  This method delivers substantive results.  In this session individuals develop their own life purpose statement within their own lexicon of power, which helps them to be on point, easily make more powerful decisions, thus enabling them to work smarter so they can bloom and prosper.  She is the author of ‘The Little Book of Confidence’ and as a motivational speaker is known as the ‘Queen of Confidence’. 

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Molly’s portfolio resume is completely in alignment with her passions.  As she says, ‘your passions are signposts to amplifying your purpose in the world’.  She encourages her clients to move towards what feels good, and this is exactly what she has done herself.

In her early 60’s Molly made a major life