Life Lived Well: A Collection of Tips, Insights, and Inspirations to Live Not a Great Life, But Your Best Life

By Jeremy Zoch

NOT JUST A BOOK-A PERSONAL JOURNEY TO YOUR BEST SELF. 

Life Lived Well is Je

• Language: English
• Publisher: ALLW, LLC
• Release date: Nov 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798989181612

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

ON SAFARI IN Africa in the summer of 2022, Eleven of Our Family members enjoyed a ten-day vacation to Cape Town and Tintswalo and Sabi Sabi safari lodges by Kruger National Park. We spent a lot of time getting to know the guides, and they shared that they work two months straight, and then they get two weeks off. I know I was supposed to focus on working two months straight, but I couldn’t help but notice that they had two weeks off several times each year. It had been four years since I had taken two weeks off. I drifted away in the conversation, and a desire for change sparked.

I was forty-seven and started making a list of what I wanted more of, what I kept pushing off and saying I would get to at some point, and what I wanted less of. I had dreamed of writing a book for many years and had been actively journaling. I decided it was the time to start writing.

Initially I wrote only for myself. I didn’t share with anyone that I was writing, and I enjoyed the freedom to unpack so many life stories that I knew were shaping me. As I was writing and bringing together valuable insights from mentors, leaders, family, friends, and influential people in my life, I began to sense that they should be shared.

So I got more intentional about it and spent time each week, early in the morning, when I was at my best, to write the stories that shaped me. To energize my mind, body, and spirit, I took the opportunity to go on writing retreats to Minnesota, to my favorite local California spots, and to Park City.

The book is a gift from me to you. It honors those who have helped me, and I also hope it lights a spark and energizes you to be your very best. I am grateful for the love and support of my wife, JP, for my children (Jeannine and Justin), and for the many, many conversations that helped shape this book.

NOTE

I’ve included 40 exercises to help you Live Life Well. You can download a companion workbook at jeremyzoch.com/workbook or simply scan the QR code below.

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CHAPTER 1:

YOUR BEST LIFE

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN stops working out at age Forty-One, with people claiming that they are too tired or too busy*. For many adults, this is a sandwich time when personal responsibility, children, aging parents, and the basic facts of human aging all start coming together. Many people have achieved a lot of success by their middle years, and yet this period can be very challenging as well.

Metabolism, joints, muscle mass, energy, and other aspects of biology start to decline. These can be the years that set the body up for chronic illness and

pain—and,

in many cases, a reduced number of healthy years. However, with careful attention, diet and exercise can make a huge difference in helping people to be at their very best through this time and into their later years.

Many people put off dreams and plans for when they retire. We likely all know people who, unfortunately, weren’t able to live those dreams because of unforeseen circumstances. In these middle years, we can choose to level up and make the most of each day to be at our very best even while we set ourselves up for the best retirement possible.

Some of the biggest regrets retirees have are (1) not saving enough money for retirement, (2) not having the health they want or expected in retirement, (3) not having the relationships they desire, and (4) not feeling like they have a purpose or meaning.

This book helps you do exactly that. The focus is on you. The concepts in this book build on who you are and on your dreams. I strive within it to give you a broad look at your whole self, to build and refine the areas that call out to you.

From a science perspective we have learned a lot over the past few years about the importance of mental health, relationships, physical health, stress, and spiritual connection. As you will find, I grew up in a Christian family and have a Christian faith that is important to me, but I hope you find that this book promotes the spiritual core that energizes and grounds you to be your very best, and it is not written exclusively as a Christian book. I have been fortunate to have many close relationships with people from many different faith backgrounds, and I love learning how their spirituality continues to grow and has anchored and inspired them.

Mind, body, spirit, finances, relationships, purpose, and passions are all further developed in this book. This is your opportunity to focus on what’s important to you, prioritizing your resources, making the best of this year, and setting yourself up for your best life. Vibrant, energetic, passionate, present, purposeful, and

whole—a

life lived well!

Envisioning Your Best Life

When I was about thirty years old, I had an experience that changed the way I thought about life and its full potential. I was in a young couples group, and we had the opportunity to spend time in self-reflection. We were given a few hours to find a quiet place and to journal and focus on questions I had never slowed down enough to really think about.

Who are you?

What are your dreams?

What can only you do?

Restless, I tried to get comfortable, thinking, How did I end up doing this on a Saturday afternoon? and struggling to get momentum. After some time, however, I started to get excited, energized, and driven toward thoughts that would begin shaping reasonable goals of living a good life. This soon became living a better life, and more recently this led to a pursuit of living my best life.

This opportunity can be powerful for adults of all ages, young adults, and even children. It isn’t designed to be carved in stone or as a fixed map. It should be reflected on and be an active part of your life going

forward—it

is your dreams and who you are. Muhammad Ali said the person who views the world at fifty as they did at twenty has wasted thirty years of their life. We should be evolving and changing. To use a road trip analogy, this is an opportunity to figure out what vehicle you have, who’s driving, and the destination where you would like to go.

In today’s American culture, it is easy to think of things you will do. I noticed I had mostly listed things I wanted to do, but years later, as I focused more on health and gained insights on mindfulness and purpose, I realized that I also wanted to spend more time figuring out what type of human being I wanted to be. I wanted to be more patient, more loving, more grateful, more committed to excellence, more curious, more present, more helpful, and more encouraging/supportive. I can look back and see how my competitive drive, my naivete, my immaturity, my temper, my lack of empathy/compassion and lack of understanding hurt people. I can seek forgiveness and realize I cannot go back in time, but I can do better going forward.

As a human being, who are you? What words come to mind that describe how you live and what you would like to see more of, and maybe less of? This can be an exciting time, and many powerful feelings may come to you. It should, however, be noted that changes in some of these areas may take a lot of intentional effort, as they are cultural, innate in your personality, and likely have been part of your personal story for many years.

For example, I loved starting things. I loved brainstorming and dreaming up new ideas. I also knew that I needed to do a better job of finishing things. I wanted to finish them and know that it was my best. This is that core feeling of

excellence—doing

something in the best way possible with pride in knowing I gave it my all.

EXERCISE: YOUR LIFE MAP FOR YOUR BEST LIFE

Take some time. Find a space that feels right for you to spend time with these questions. It may be two or three hours or more on your own. It may feel like a strange place to start, but spending time putting together your Life Map can give solid guidance for where you want to go next. I would encourage you to write it in a journal or digital space you can easily come back to.

Who are you?

What can only you do?

There are relationships, situations, and opportunities where each of us is in a unique position. Roles such as father, daughter, spouse, and aunt are unique, and only you can truly impact them. What relationships, situations, and opportunities are important to you? How do you feel about your role in them?

What are your dreams?

How do you want to live?

What do you want more or less of in your personality?

What do you want more or less of in your life?

With all of that in mind, imagine your last day on earth. Look back on your life. In a sentence or two, what does looking back and knowing you lived your best life look like?

This is your Life Map. Your passion, dreams, and energy make it your very best life.

This isn’t something you write down and cast aside. Instead, your Life Map becomes an active part of your goals and your plans. It is part of each day, something that you come back to often and adjust as you change. Print it, put it on your phone, and make it personal.

My Life Map

As I reflected, this is what I found when I did the exercise over twenty years ago:

Who am I? Then and now, at my core, I am a strong spiritual person. I am a father, husband, son, brother, and uncle. I am blessed with great friends, and I love spending time with them.

I was at that time a middle-level administrator at Johns Hopkins Medicine. I committed that day that I would become a health care executive and pursue being a CEO, or the best leader I could be. I had toyed with the idea of going back to school and getting my PhD, but that day I wrote down that I would get my PhD and be a teacher. I had taken an interest in running and finished some marathons. That day, I committed to running the Boston

Marathon—the

pinnacle of long-distance running, highlighting my goal to be an athlete. Until that day I thought of myself as someone who enjoyed playing a lot of sports and probably as a weekend warrior, but this was calling me out to do better and to achieve something I knew I could not do that day. I played guitar growing up and have loved music since I remember hearing the Beach Boys and seeing Bon Jovi on MTV. I wrote down that I was a musician and wanted to play more music.

Who am I? In a few

words—a

person of faith, a family man, a friend, an executive, a teacher / lifelong learner, an athlete, and a musician. I continue to see my best life through many of these lenses, and in recent years, I have also added health advocate and helper.

What do you picture your last day to be like? It is a question that many of us may not spend time thinking about until it is close. A goal of this book is to spend time thinking about that last day now, so that you can someday look back with a smile and a feeling that you have lived your best life as life lived well.

Your Life Gauge

The next tool is a simple yet personal way to help gain perspective in categories of life where you see yourself today. It’s an exercise that can be finished in two to three minutes and is also a tool that can be evolved and used every day, much like the dashboard in a vehicle. I think it is best for you to complete it with your own perspective, but also take the opportunity to talk to others and make plans to see how much potential exists on that continuum.

For example, I thought I was happily

married—and

then we had an opportunity to go to a marriage conference. It highlighted that although we had a rich, loving marriage, we had many more opportunities to further grow our love and deepen our relationship.

The purpose of the scale is not to try to make every one of them a 10 and expect it will be the greatest day ever, but rather to serve as a guide for areas that may be calling out to you where you desire to make changes.

The Life Gauge is an expanded version of the Wheel of Life Assessment created by Paul J. Meyer, founder of Success Motivation Institute. I was introduced to it by my health and life coach, Pamela Malo, and have expanded it to encompass several other areas of life.

Each of us is unique, and I’ve left room for you to write in other categories that drive and inspire you. The Life Gauge is designed to be a quick at-a-glance overview of where you are today not only as a human doing but also as a human being, and taking into account your body, mind, and spirit.

EXERCISE: YOUR LIFE GAUGE

Take a few minutes and put a number for each item on this continuum. For you today and thinking about the last few weeks, where are you on a 1-to-10 scale (10 being the best you can imagine for yourself) for each category? Think about additional categories that come to mind and list those as well. We will come back to several of these throughout the book, and having this baseline is a great place to start.

Living your best life

Joy

Health

Body

Mind

Spirit

Time

Finance

Relationships

Helping others/service

Learning/creativity

Work

Mentoring/teaching

Passions

Other items

I start the book with these tools for you. There are many tips, insights, and reflections throughout my life that came along in so many different ways and from so many different places. Many I never asked for, and, frankly, I wish I could have learned them without actually going through the experience. I didn’t appreciate it growing up, but looking back, I definitely noticed that my growth, much like in sports, takes place when challenged and working through the most difficult parts. I will share stories of celebrations and victories but also try to pass along lessons that sometimes took years to move beyond, and sometimes even I didn’t realize how they were changing me at the time.

I hope this book inspires you to enhance what you are already doing to live your best life. I hope it makes you laugh, makes you want to do something, change something, call someone, and most of all think with gratitude what a precious life only you have, and how you make it the very best one possible.

NOTE

Head to jeremyzoch.com/gallery to see a complimentary photo gallery of my stories. Or, simply scan the QR code below.

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* Renner, Ben. Survey Reveals the Surprisingly Young Age Many Give up on Working Out. Study Finds, November 30, 2019. https://studyfinds.org/survey-reveals-the-surprisingly-young-age-many-give-up-on-working-out/.

CHAPTER 2:

OUR STORIES SHAPE US

I AM GRATEFUL to have been happily married