Ideas of a Twentieth Century Grandfather

By James M.H. Gregg

I am a husband, a parent, a grandparent, a friend, a neighbor and a citizen of my state and nation. In my work I have served my nation as a soldier and as an executive in the service of the US Federal Government. I am now retired from paid employment but spent many hours working to better understand nature and human behavior. I'm now writing a book on social justice in which I hope to bring together many of my ideas about human behavior, human society, and the art of human living. I greatly enjoy living my life and believe it is important to live with joyful intensity. I particularly enjoy intense physical expression, exploring nature and wilderness, gardening, love, family, music, travel, and contemplating the wonderful beauty and mystery of being.

I also believe it is important to give back what I can to life and particularly to human life. I have tried to do this in my career, in the creation and continued support of my family, and now in the creation of ideas that may empower my fellow humans for justice and life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Aug 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462041213

James M.H. Gregg

James M. H. Gregg was born in Florence, South Carolina in 1935. He attended Harvard College and Harvard Law School. He served in the US Army and had a long and distinguished career in the US Federal Government Senior Executive Service. Mr. Gregg has been a resident of Potomac, Maryland for over 40 years. Currently, he spends his time writing, exercising, gardening, traveling, and spoiling his four grandchildren with his wife of 45 years, Dianne.

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Contents

A LETTER TO MY

GRANDCHILDREN

A.

SOME GUIDES TO LIVING

A.1.

JOYFUL ACTION

A. 2.

THE REAL SELF

A. 3.

MAKING DECISIONS

A. 4.

FLEXIBILITY

A. 5.

PATIENCE AND FORGIVENESS

A.6.

STAY CALM

A. 7.

SELF DISCIPLINE

A. 8.

CONCENTRATION

A. 9.

SEE WHAT IS; SAY WHAT IS

A.10.

DO WHAT YOU DO BEST

A.11.

BE CREATIVE

A. 12.

EMPOWERING OTHERS

A.13.

ENTHUSIASM AND RENEWAL

A.14

ADVICE FOR THOSE OVER 25 YEARS OLD

A.15.

CH’AN AND ZEN

A.16.

THE CH’AN-ZEN MIND

B.

VIRTUES AND VICES

B.1.

SINS AND VIRTUES

B.2.

THE MOST WORRISOME SIN

B.3.

THREE GREAT VIRTUES

B.4.

HONESTY

B.5.

WARS

C.

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

C.1.

HOPE

C.2.

LOVE

C.3.

SEX APPEAL

C.4.

SEXUAL RELATIONS

C.5.

SELECTING A MATE

C.6.

LISTENING

C.7.

HUMOR

C.8.

LIVING WITH A MATE

C.9.

CHILD DISCIPLINE

C.10

GOOD MANNERS

D.

HEALTH

D.1.

STAYING HEALTHY AND FIT

D.2.

FEELING DEPRESSED

E.

LEARNING AND EDUCATION

E.1.

LEARNING

E.2.

NEEDED: A REVOLUTION IN EDUCATION

E.3.

OVER GENERALIZATION

E.4.

COMMON SENSE

E.5.

FAILURE AND MISFORTUNE

F.

NATURE

F.1.

GIVING AND RECEIVING

F.2.

STUDYING NATURE

F.3.

UNDERSTANDING

F.4.

STAY CLOSE TO NATURE

F.5.

ANTS

F.6.

DIVERSITY

F.7.

EGG TO EGG

F.8.

THE LIVING CELL

F.9.

FUNDAMENTAL ISSUES OF COSMOLOGY

G.

BEAUTY AND ART

G.1.

BEAUTY

G.2.

ART

G.3.

POETRY

G.4.

MUSIC AND DANCE

G.5.

LITERATURE

G.6.

TRAGIC HEROES

G.7.

GARDENING

H.

GOD, RELIGION, AND THE UNIVERSE

H.1.

GOD AND THE SURFER

H.2.

THE UNITY OF ALL BEING

H.3.

MY BELIEFS

H.4.

GOD AND TRUST

H.5.

METAPHYSICS

H.6.

JESUS

H.7.

THE GOSPELS

H.8.

GOD DOESN’T FAIL-MEN DO

I.

PURPOSE AND BEING

I.1.

THE PURPOSE AND MEANING OF LIFE

I.2.

A LONG TIME WITHOUT MANKIND

I.3.

MY BELIEFS ABOUT BEING

I.4.

A SUBSTRATUM OF BEING

I.5.

TRUE OR FALSE

I.6.

THE WHOLE SELF

J.

SATISFYING OUR NEEDS

J.1.

OUR NEEDS

J.2.

MANAGING OUR NEEDS

J.3.

SATISFYING OUR NEEDS

K.

CIVIC DUTIES

K.1.

VOTING

K.2.

TAXES

K.3.

LEADERS

K.4.

COMMUNITY SERVICE

K.5.

MODERATION AND EXCEEDING LIMITS

L.

SOCIAL JUSTICE

L.1.

A DEFINITION OF SOCIAL JUSTICE

L.2.

SURVIVAL AND JUSTICE

L.3.

WORK FOR A JUST SOCIETY

L.4.

FUNDAMENTAL VALUES OF A JUST SOCIETY

L.5.

HUMAN CULTURE

L.6.

HUMAN RIGHTS

L.7.

THE DARK SIDE

L.8.

CRIMINALS IN HIGH PLACES

L.9.

GREAT PEOPLE

M.

GRAND DAD’S PERSPECTIVES

M.1.

GRAND DAD’S CREDO

M.2.

DEATH AND LIFE

M.3.

MY FAULTS

M.4.

WHAT THE PREACHER SAID

M.5.

A LONER

M.6.

UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES

M.7.

WOMEN’S LIBERATION

M.8.

HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY

M.9.

COMMUNICATING

M.10

GIVING ADVICE

M.11.

WHAT WOULD YOU DIE FOR

M.12.

KEEPING A JOURNAL AND SCRAPBOOKS

M.13.

GREAT DEVELOPMENTS OF THE 20th CENTURY

M.14.

GREAT NEEDS OF THE 21st CENTURY

M.15.

SPACE TRAVEL

N.

CONCLUDING REMARKS

ALL THINGS ARE A WINDOW TO GOD; JUST LOOK IN ANY WINDOW

ZEN MASTER

A LETTER TO MY

GRANDCHILDREN

Potomac, Maryland

August 1, 2000

My Dear Grandchildren,

This evening I’ve finished writing a book that I hope you’ll read someday and find useful. As I wrote it I’ve kept you, my grandchildren, always in my mind. That includes those of you who are already living, Anna, Sara, Ian and Caroline, and those of you who are yet to be born.

In this book I’ve told you what I’ve learned about living a satisfying life, and what I believe may be valuable for you to know. I’ll have some advice for you, which you may or may not wish to take as you live your own lives. The best I can do for you is to tell you of my own experience and explain my own way of living and leave it to you to decide how much of it you find relevant. I hope that you’ll at least think it interesting to know what your grandfather believed to be the best way to have a happy and fulfilling life.

My greatest wish is that all of you live long, healthy and creative lives in which you experience much joy and satisfaction. In order to achieve such lives, I believe you will have to assume certain responsibilities and accept many challenges during your lifetimes. Specifically, you’ll need to develop your God-given talents and capabilities as fully as possible. To accomplish this, each of you will have to strive to understand your self and build upon your strengths. You’ll have to recognize your essential needs and learn how to balance and satisfy them. To do these things well you will also need to understand nature and the world around you, and how you can best relate to it. When you can do this, you’ll begin to realize that life is not just about satisfying yourself, but also requires that you give something of value back to life. You’ll learn, as you go along, that loving and empowering others is one of the greatest sources of satisfaction for humans.

As you live and learn throughout your life, you’ll see increasingly the oneness and unity of all nature and existence. You’ll begin to appreciate how everything we experience is somehow connected and related. You’ll find this to be a mysterious and wonderful insight when you get it. But I need to caution you that there is another insight you’ll have from time to time that can be frightening, and which seems at odds with our recognition that we are part of a great wholeness. You will realize that you are also very much alone in the world and in the universe. You will see that no matter how close you are to others, and no matter how much you love and are loved by others, your inner self can never be fully known or experienced by anyone else. This is perhaps a sad truth, but a truth nevertheless. I mention it because if you refuse to accept this truth, you will encounter much frustration and disappointment. Also, it’s very important to your happiness that you get to know that inner self well, and that you live so that you can respect the inner self which, of course, is you.

Nothing will bring you much joy or satisfaction in life if you do not respect yourself. Without that you’ll find no peace of mind and no true joy in living. To enjoy self-respect you must always be totally honest with yourself.. Always admit to yourself your shortcomings and faults with total candor. You must always acknowledge to yourself your true desires and feelings, even if you wish you didn’t have them. No human is perfect and without faults, and you will be no exception. Never lie to yourself about your imperfections. If you do, you’ll have no self-respect and no peace of mind.

Your job as a human is to know yourself and to build a strong foundation for living and being yourself at your full potential. You’ll need to spend your whole life working at this. This means that every day you’ll keep learning, developing, creating, giving and enjoying. Not to do this is to waste the precious gift of life. Doing it well is an art. It is the art of living a wise and balanced life, and I believe that each of you can learn this art and share it with others. When you do, you’ll feel a wonderful sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my life thinking about this art of wise and joyful living. I’ve observed how others have tried to perfect the art, and I’ve tried very hard to do it myself. In this book, I’ve recorded some of the things I’ve seen and learned. I’ll be very pleased if, from time to time, my observations prove to be useful to you.

With all my love,

Grand Dad

A.

SOME GUIDES TO LIVING

A.1.

JOYFUL ACTION

My wish is that all my grandchildren will live their lives with joyful intensity. I hope that you will do it as children, as teenagers, as mature adults, and on into old age. It’s my wish that you live with enthusiasm, excitement, curiosity, wonder, and hope. I wish you many accomplishments and successes, but most of all I want you to find happiness and joy in the process of achieving them.

In my lifetime I’ve known or read about a number of people who seem to have an extraordinary zest for living. I wish I could give you a magic formula for finding and sustaining such zest, but I don’t have one. I would guess that there are a lot of factors involved including inherited temperament and disposition and even such things as sheer luck and good fortune. Of course, I believe there’s even more to it. Many of the topics I’ve stuffed into this book include ideas about what can make us joyful and excited about living. That’s the kind of life all of us want for our children, grandchildren, and ourselves.

At this moment in human history there is not much we can do to alter children’s genetic temperament or genetic predispositions, nor do we know of any way of altering the statistical distribution of sheer good luck. But there are things I believe parents can do that will increase the probability that their children will enjoy a zestful, joyful, enthusiastic outlook throughout their lives. Giving your children boundless love is the most essential thing, but love alone is not sufficient. It must be given in positive ways that build self-confidence and self-esteem in the child. It must be given in ways that prepare the child for successful living. This means that parents must undertake the often difficult task of teaching the child self-discipline, the values of right and wrong, the need for the child to assume increasing responsibilities as it grows, and the social responsibility of cooperating with others and giving to others.

Doing these things may not work for every child, but in general I think that children raised this way will more likely become adults who are self-confident, trusting, and open to the joys of receiving the bounties of life, and giving what they have to offer to others. I think they are more likely to become adults who care about something intensely; who concentrate on what they care about; and who go through life with a spirit of hope and optimism that enables them to greatly enjoy their good fortunes and to cope well with life’s difficulties when they come.

A. 2.

THE REAL SELF

I have often told myself that it’s essential to be myself. But what exactly does that mean? I suppose the exhortation to be one’s self implies that most of us hide part of ourselves, and perhaps some of us hide a large part of our self not only from others but even from ourselves. We often hide this self because we suspect it may not be welcomed by others. And indeed when we do sometimes reveal a part of our hidden self the reaction of others may be negative. So we create a self that is proper for exposure to others. This may not be our real self, but it may be a self that will be better liked and better received than our real self. We may gain the impression that this constructed self offered to others is a more effective person and a person better loved than our real self. In fact, it may be true.

However, we may pay a terrible price for substituting an actor for our real self and for suppressing our real self. Of course, no one would argue that there should be no constraints on self-expression. Society will tolerate full self-expression only in infants and idiots. We cannot be ourselves in ways that are clearly harmful or exploitive of others. To do so would destroy the bonds of mutual respect that are necessary conditions for lawful, civilized societies.

Hence, we cannot fully be ourselves in that we must constrain the darker inclinations of our nature. But we should strive to fully understand and recognize all the features of our self and not be afraid even of the darker ones. We can keep the darker ones under control better if we recognize them for what they are, accept them without guilt or anxiety, and take care that they are not permitted to harm others.

I think because we do not fully understand and carefully identify those of our inclinations that are dangerous, we over emphasize our concern about them and hence become too cautious in the expression of that part of our self that is constructive and creative. We become too willing to allow others rather than ourselves to be the judge of our self. When we make the world a judge and a jury to assess our self, we impose upon ourselves an impossible burden. We will always be found guilty. After many guilty verdicts of this sort we become afraid to express ourselves, afraid to commit ourselves, and hence unable to develop ourselves.

We cannot help but see our self reflected in the eyes of others and the judgment that they pass on it. But we must have the courage to let others judge as they will and not permit the process of their judgment to alter the appropriate expression of our true self. We must not hide our true self behind an actor, but rather pursue our true self to the boundaries of its potential, notwithstanding the judgments that are passed. We must say to ourselves, Ultimately I am the judge of my self. The verdict I must avoid is guilty of not developing my self to its full potential.

A. 3.

MAKING DECISIONS

When you’re faced with making a hard