Be You and Live: A Guide to Finding Yourself and Living Life

By Neal J. Anstis

If you knew that you were going to die tomorrow, would you be truly satisfied with your life?

Think back to when you were a child, long before you experienced the responsibilities that may have limited your sense of self and potential. What happened to that special young person, the one who wasnt afraid to dream and reach?

That special personyouis locked inside a box made of limitations. Whatever has held you back from achieving those dreams or has caused you to stop dreaming of attaining them, there is hope. Maybe you are struggling financially; feeling isolated, unloved, or overworked; or living with boredom, dullness, or exhaustion. These challenges can easily sap your energy, your enthusiasm, and your sense of fulfillment

How would your life change if you knew how to uncover the real youthe innocent, ambitious, and optimistic child who was never afraid to dream? You can free yourself. Change your mind, and you can change your life.

Be You and Live is the guide to your new life. Through straightforward discussions and easy exercises, you can finally become aware of your own minds limitations. Once you understand whats holding you back, youll have the tools you need to take that first step on a new path to fulfilment and happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Sep 6, 2013
• ISBN: 9781452511368

Neal J. Anstis

Neal Anstis is an IT Professional and Reiki Master living with his partner Karen, on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia. Neal was born in 1959 in a farmhouse in Somerset England, and for his first ten years Neal enjoyed a rather idyllic rural and farm lifestyle. However, the collapse of the rural economy in the UK during the late 1960s caught up with his parents, and with no more to lose, the family emigrated to Australia with the hope of a better life. With no money, few jobs, and with debts to repay in England, the early years in Australia were very difficult. According to their memories, Neal and his two older brothers seemed to live on tinned spaghetti and baked beans, but in reality they were kept well fed, if not luxuriously. However hiding from the rent collectors was a reality. In Australia, not only did the family contend with little money, they were also confronted by cultural differences and the boys were a target of schoolyard abuse - Australia in the early 1970’s was much less cosmopolitan than nowadays. In the few years from about aged 9 to 13, Neal had acquired a distinct fear of being destitute, and a very effective emotional armour to protect himself from hurts. Although the financial situation did improve for a short while, his father’s return to dairy farming was soon followed by a drought, and then by a car accident that put his father on crutches. By this time, Neal’s brothers had gone off to lead their own lives, and Neal was studying science at Queensland University. Fortunately Australian Government grants and subsidies educated many students who could not have afforded it otherwise. During the last year of his studies, Neal would attend University during the week, and on weekends and holidays return to work the farm. However, despite an improvement in his father’s mobility and the return of rain, debts and physical disability forced Neal’s parents to sell up – another farm was lost. It was not too much later that Neal’s father was diagnosed with cancer and during the following five years, Neal took on many of the financial burdens and role of “rock in a storm”, while his parents struggled with the consequences of cancer. In 1989 his father passed away. Through an extreme sense of loyalty and duty, and because of fears, Neal had sacrificed his own needs to those of the family. So at aged thirty, it was as though his own life could begin. Neal had acquired from his parents a liberal humanitarian outlook, and an interest in spirituality. He was well educated, hard-working, loyal, resilient, and stoic. He also had fears of failure and destitution, no romantic experience, emotionally repressed, and socially isolated. Safe but unhappy, and unaware of how to find happiness. So began a twenty year journey of worldly discovery and self-discovery. Without being fully aware of what he was after, how to find it, and what he was battling against (himself), Neal questioned his life, pushed his boundaries, sought answers, learned new skills and practices, explored spirituality, learned lessons about love and a broken heart, pulled down walls of his personality, and looked into emptiness. Neal’s mother was a great support particularly during the dark days – someone who simply loved and listened. In 1996, Neal discovered Reiki and very importantly, Faye, his Reiki Master. For Neal, Reiki was the perfect experiential counter-balance to an analytical mind. At first, fearful of the experience, he gradually opened up to his emotional and spiritual aspects. And then, almost suddenly, he saw - he felt - that inner self – the self that did not depend upon the world for its existence. With this discovery, came a freedom to grow and push the boundaries of his self-limitation. At this time, his dear friend, Johanna appeared, and proceeded to “rattle his cage”, helping to push those boundaries. Neal began to help others, who may have had challenges in their lives or simply wanted to expand their lives. Wi

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Copyright © 2013 Neal J. Anstis

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

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Balboa Press rev. date: 09/03/2013

CONTENTS

About This Guide

Are You Satisfied?

In The Box

Boundaries

Restrictions

Recognize Your Own Box

Making Space

Lifting Restrictions

Distractions

Habits

Unclutter Your Life

In The Space

The Transition

Illusions

Mindfulness

Maintaining Space

The Old Personality

The Basis of Personality

Your Ideas and Beliefs

Opinions and Judgments

What Are You Feeling?

Fears

Deal with Your Stuff

Self-Esteem

 you 

the evolving personality

Conscious Choices

Exploring New Experiences

Seek Out Your Creativity

Breaking the Boundaries

Vision and Goals

Passion

Personal qualities

In Conclusion

About The Author

With special thanks to

(in order of appearance)

My mum

Faye

Johanna

Karen

ABOUT THIS GUIDE

You may have come to a point in your life when you conclude that something is not right. You may be feeling unhappy about life in general; you may be feeling trapped or angry; you may even be ill; or maybe you just feel that there must be something more to life. Maybe you have forgotten why you are living this life and what you were aiming for. You do not even really know what you enjoy. The dull ache of life is relieved by the humdrum or an addiction—drink, drugs, TV. You do things because you do not know of any other way that life can be. At this place, it feels wrong, but you don’t have a clue as to what is right. Of course, winning the lottery would solve everything—ha!

The purpose of this guide is to help you find your way out of an unsatisfactory situation and onto a path where you can find yourself, expand your horizons, and have the opportunity to live a fulfilling life.

You will not find the ultimate truth here, and I doubt if you will instantly transform. However, you can start on the path of finding your truth and transforming yourself.

The material here contains some of my experiences, lessons, and observations from life. It’s based on what I went through along the path from being trapped in my self-made box to a state of continuing self-discovery and freedom of choice. This path worked for me, and I hope it works for you too. Now I am so much happier than when I seriously started out on this journey.

What’s discussed here does not cover my whole journey, as there are many aspects in one’s life that are unique to your particular personality and circumstances—family, love life, and spirituality, for example. However, these aspects, although not specifically addressed, will certainly be impacted upon and will reveal themselves when you apply this material.

You can use a vast array of knowledge, tools, philosophies, and therapies in your life. These come in the form of books, courses, seminars, studies and religions, and some proclaim to transform you. However, when I started on this journey, I did not have anything like a guidebook, and I was not even aware that I needed one. I blundered along—try this, try that, get stuck, get hurt, discover this, realize that. I kept pushing both consciously and unconsciously, and indeed life kept pushing me. If I had not pushed myself and responded to life’s promptings, I think I would be dead—figuratively and possibly even physically. Boredom, frustration, and fear would have killed me in some way.

As I went along, I discovered tools and therapies that helped. There was no singular tool, therapy, or belief system that got me from there to here, but it was a combination that helped. Some I have used constantly, and others have made their contribution and then been laid aside. It is your choice as to what you use and how you use it.

Many of these tools are fantastic for helping you to live a fulfilling life, so why wouldn’t you use one of these instead of this guide? Well, because many people would not even be aware of these tools, may not be open to the concepts, and may not know what is best suited to their situation. I hope this guide will get you to a point where you can start to use something best suited to yourself. It may be that just following this guide will be sufficient.

This is a short book by intention, and many subjects are touched upon without too much detail. You are pointed in a direction, and your job is to go out and investigate, explore, and actually experience these subjects. You must be creative with your own life and not let anyone give you a pre-packaged formula. Your choices, and your willingness to look at yourself, accept, and let go, will produce the results. And if you wish to get the full benefit from this guide, then please, please, please attempt the exercises.

ARE YOU SATISFIED?

Ask yourself this question: If I knew that I’d die tomorrow, would I be satisfied with my life? Many people are not satisfied. They might be resigned, or they might say, Considering the circumstances, I have done well. However, they could not say they are satisfied or fulfilled. They may rant and rave about what is wrong with their lives and the world, or at the other extreme, they may not be able to identify anything—they’re just blank. Remember when you were young, before you had responsibilities. What was it you wanted to do in life? What did you want to be? What made you special? You may wonder where those dreams went—where is that special person? Does it seem that the person who had those dreams and special qualities has somehow disappeared or been obscured over the years?

How do you uncover that special person again and get some satisfaction and fulfilment from the rest of your life? In its most simple and fundamental form, the path out of your undesirable situation is: change your mind.

This and other pieces of distilled wisdom are found throughout history in a variety of philosophies, literature, and religions. If you can fully understand and apply the above statement, that’s great, and you will probably not bother reading on. However, I suspect that most of us have to work on somewhat less refined and more bulky material before we can understand the full meaning of that simple three-word statement.

Now despite it being obvious, let’s point out something: you are going to die.

Read that line carefully.

Now read it again.

Get this into your brain. You may have beliefs that involve a continuing spirit or soul or going to a heaven, but it is absolutely guaranteed that one day, your body will cease to function. Your death may be many years away, but one day, you will not see tomorrow. Even as you read this, it may be tomorrow. This statement may strike fear into you, but that is not its intention. It simply points out that your time is limited, and you cannot just drift along, hoping that life will get better without you doing anything about it. So what are you going to do today? When I asked myself this question,