Never Enough: Jack & Lexi, #2

By Amanda Wilhelm

Lexi – I never imagined that when I saw Jack, that first day on the bus, we'd end up where we are now.  I don't care what anybody thinks about us, especially not my parents.  I know what we have.  It's real and it's forever.

 

Jack –Lexi believes in me, even if nobody else does.  We're going to do exactly what we planned and no one is going to stop us.

Lexi would do anything for Jack, all he has to do is ask.  The problem is, now she's the one that needs help.  And she doesn't know how to tell him.

Jack knows he's the luckiest guy in the world.  Who would have ever thought he'd get a girl like Lexi.  But something's wrong, and she won't let him help her.  She won't even tell him what the problem is.  She's been there for him, since the day they first met.  Now he feels like he's failing her.  If that happens, he may lose her.  And that can't happen.

This is Book Two of Jack and Lexi's story. Book One:  First Time and Book Three; Come Back to Me can be found on Amanda Wilhelm's author page.  This is a new adult romance that follows the couple from high school to college.  Encounters are explicit but typical for the age and experience of the couple.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amanda Wilhelm
• Release date: Jun 18, 2018
• ISBN: 9781386056942

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Do you want another beer? Andy asked.

No, thanks, Lexi said.

Isn't that your first one? he said.

Well, Lexi said.

It was.  She took another tiny sip, as small as she could make it.  God, it was gross.  He laughed at her and she got annoyed.

It's shitty beer, she said, Why didn't you guys get something good?

Cause it was cheap.  Here, he said, as he took the beer away from her and walked off.

Thank god, she thought and looked around.

There wasn't anything to do, and she kind of just wanted to go home and get to sleep.  The party had sounded like fun when Michelle had told her about it.  But Michelle had disappeared upstairs with Cliff hours ago, and now people were starting to leave.

Here, Andy said, handing her a different bottle, No wait.

He took the bottle back out of her hand and opened it, then handed it back to her.  She accepted it, then looked at the label.

Wine cooler, he said, Thought you might like that better.

She took a sip and it was sweet and fruity, nothing like beer.

Oh, she said.

You like it?

Ummm, yeah, Lexi said.

Good.

He sat down next to her and they talked for a while, Lexi checking her watch frequently and getting more annoyed at Michelle.  She finished the wine cooler.  It was after one.  She decided she was going to go and get Michelle and go home.  But first she needed a bathroom.  Her dad would probably be asleep when she got back to his apartment, but just in case she needed to scrounge up some toothpaste.

Where's the bathroom? she asked Andy, interrupting what he was saying.

Down the hall, he said, I'll show you.

You don't have to, I'll find it, she said.

She stood up, too quickly maybe, she felt like she shot right up and could have practically bumped her head on the ceiling.  She looked down at Andy, to see if he noticed, and he was grinning.

What's so funny? she asked him.

You, you're drunk.

Am not.

Are too.

She started to tell him to fuck off, but she took her first step at the same time and that required all of her attention for some reason.

Hang on, he said.

He stood up and grabbed her elbow.  He guided her to the bathroom and, after she peed and washed her hands, she did the brush your teeth with your finger thing.  She looked in the medicine cabinet and sipped some mouthwash she found, right from the bottle.  After she spit it out she looked in the mirror.  God she looked terrible.  Her eyeliner under her right eye was completely smudged.  She rubbed it with her finger and nothing happened.  God she wanted to go home.  She was going to go find Michelle and do that.

She opened the door and turned right and then left.  Andy was still standing there.

Hey, he said.

Hey, she said back.

He was blocking the hallway and she took a step back, leaning against the wall.

Lexi, he said.

What? she said.

He didn't answer, he just reached out with both hands and grabbed her face, gently.  She watched him, confused, as he got closer and closer and then his lips were on hers and he was kissing her, and she realized it and she threw both of her hands up and out and pushed him off her.

Stop, she said, Don't do that.  I have a boyfriend.

Oh god.  Oh god oh god oh god.  Jack.  She had kissed someone else.

Sorry, Andy said.

I want to go home, Lexi said, and pushed past him.

Michelle was back in the living room, which was good.  She was sitting on the sofa, technically on Cliff's lap, kissing him.  Lexi marched over and poked Michelle in the shoulder.

Hey! Michelle said, when she pried her lips off Cliff's and turned around.

We need to go home, Lexi said.

Okay, well, let's go, Michelle said.

Lexi's dad had said okay to her attending the party not knowing that there would be no parents home, and certainly not knowing that there would be beer.  And wine coolers.  He had insisted on giving them cab fare and told her under no circumstances was she to take the subway home after ten.  Lexi planned on pocketing the money and taking the subway anyway.

Cliff said he'd walk them to the subway and Michelle went on and on about how he didn't have to, and how sweet he was to do that since his house was three blocks in the opposite direction.  Finally they started walking.  The cool air felt good after the stuffy house and Lexi began to feel a little less drunk.  But the less she had to concentrate on walking, the more she had to think about how Andy had kissed her.

They had gone half a block when Lexi saw a marked car-service car approaching.

Hey, she yelled, waving her arms and the guy stopped.

What are you doing? Michelle asked, I thought we were taking the subway.

My dad gave me money, come on, Lexi said, and opened up the door to the back seat.  She got in and slid over.  Brooklyn Heights, she told the cabbie.

Yeah, sure, the guy said, and got on his radio to his dispatcher, Address?

Lexi gave him Michelle's address and he repeated it into the radio.  The dispatcher gave them the fare and Lexi said okay.  She turned back and looked out the window.  Michelle and Cliff were kissing again, presumably saying goodbye.  Lexi just wanted to get out of there.

Come on, she yelled at Michelle.

Okay, okay, Michelle said, when she came up for air.

What's her problem? Cliff asked.

I don't know, Michelle said, and got in.  Lexi, you okay? she asked, then giggled as the taxi lurched forward and she was thrown back into the seat, hard.

I am, Lexi lied, Just tired.

She wanted to cry.  She hadn't kissed Andy, not really, she hadn't meant for it to happen, and she had stopped it as soon as she realized what was happening.  But what if Jack didn't see it that way?

Well, guess what? Michelle said.

What?

I, Michelle stopped and looked up at the front seat.  She leaned in closer to Lexi and cupped her hand over Lexi's ear.  I, her breath was warm and wet on Lexi's face, and it was kind of gross, I, gave Cliff a blow job tonight.

What! Lexi shrieked.

Talk about gross.

Shush! Michelle said, indicating the driver.

Was it, Lexi was going to say gross, but she didn't.

Because if Michelle didn't think it was gross anymore, and she obviously didn't, cause she had done it, then where did that leave Lexi?  Cause she still thought it was gross.

Was it what?

Nothing, I mean, now it was Lexi's turn to lower her voice, Did he like it?

Well yeah, duh.

Duh is right, Lexi thought.

Of course Cliff liked it, and Jack would like it too, but she still didn't want to, not ever, at least not yet, it still seemed so gross.

But how did you know, you know, what to do? she asked Michelle.

I just, I didn't, not really, I just kind of did what I usually do just, you know, with my.

Michelle stopped talking and just made a circle with her index finger around her mouth which she had shaped into an o, perfect for, oh gross!  Lexi stared at her friend.

I was worried, you know, Michelle said, Like what if I did it wrong, but now, I don't know, it's not that big of a deal.  She looked at Lexi, I'm sure he would like it, if you did it, Jack that is.

Lexi started crying.

Well, you don't have to, Michelle said hurriedly, I mean, if you don't want to he shouldn't make you, don't let him pressure you either.

It's not that, Lexi said sniffing.  She never had a tissue when she needed it, Andy kissed me.

What!  You kissed Andy, what about Jack?

No, Lexi said, and she knew that she could never tell Jack what had happened and that made it worse somehow.  He kissed me and I made him stop immediately.

But he kissed you.

Well yeah, I mean, I didn't know what he was doing but as soon as I did I made him stop.

So it's not your fault, Michelle said.

No!  It's not, Lexi said, even if she wondered if it was.

And even if Jack believed her, Andy had still kissed her.  Jack wasn't going to like that at all.  She couldn't tell him, he was so stressed about college and money all the time.  It could distract him, he needed to practice.  He had to get into Juilliard and show his stupid parents that he was good at music, really good.  Then he would be happy, Lexi knew it.

I'm not going to tell Jack, Lexi said.

You're not?

Michelle sounded surprised, but no more surprised than Lexi, she hadn't planned to say it out loud.  God she was still buzzed.

I'm not telling him, Lexi said, It's all stupid Andy's fault, why should I upset Jack?  I didn't kiss him, god I hate Andy.

Andy's an asshole, Michelle said immediately, But still...

What?

Shouldn't you know, be honest?

What would you do, if Andy had kissed you? Lexi said.

That's different, Andy and Cliff are friends, Michelle said.

Hicks street, what number again? the driver said.

Michelle answered him, and then Lexi added, But then I need you to drive me home too, after that, it's just a couple of blocks over.

Okay, the guy said.

Michelle, Lexi started, not knowing what to say.

I just think if Jack loves you he would understand, Michelle said.

So Cliff would understand? Lexi demanded.

I already told you that's different.

It's not.

Fine.

Lexi wanted to cry again.  Now Michelle was mad at her too.

Michelle, she said.

What?

She didn't know what to say, but she did start crying again.

Lexi, don't cry.  Look, if you don't want to tell him, then don't.

You won't tell him?

What?  Of course not.

Promise.

Of course, cross my heart and hope to die.

Okay.

They were at Michelle's building and she got out.

I'll call you tomorrow, she said, and slammed the door.

Lexi watched her walk into the apartment building.

You know what I think? the driver said.

What? Lexi said, startled.

I think you should tell me where you live, since this is my last fare for the night and I want to go home.

Oh, right, sorry, Lexi snorted some tears up her nose, and gave him her address.

It only took a couple of minutes to get there, the streets were empty.  Lexi thought for a minute that maybe the cabbie would dispense some helpful advice, if they were on a TV show or in a movie he certainly would.  Instead all the guy said was thanks, and she wished she had thought to specify how much change she wanted before handing him the money.  Now it was awkward, she couldn't get the money back.  He thought she had given him a nice tip and she had, a very good one, but it wasn't like he had earned it by magically telling her the right thing to do to make everything better.

She stood in front of her building and watched him drive off.  He stopped at the red light, but turned right before it changed to green, which was illegal, and she hoped that a cop would see him and bust him right there.  When it was obvious that wasn't going to happen she went inside, fumbling with the lock when she opened it.

In the apartment she kicked off her shoes and snuck down the hall to her room.  Her mouth tasted nasty again, but she didn't bother to brush her teeth.

It's not a movie, she thought as she got into bed.

In a movie I'd have a little sister waiting up to hear about my night.  And tomorrow we'd get up and mom would make us pancakes and dad would read the paper.  And I could tell my boyfriend that I was a little drunk and some guy kissed me, but it didn't mean anything and he would understand and everything would be fine.

But I don't have any of that, she thought.

All I have is Jack.  And I'm not risking it.

CHAPTER 2

Hi Jack, come on in, Mrs. Palermo said.

Jack stepped into the office and sat down.

Just a second, I have you in here somewhere, she said, Okay, here it is, she added, as she pulled a folder out of a stack.

Jack saw his name on the file.  It was a pretty small folder compared to some of the others in the pile.

Okay, so I pulled an application for you for Rutgers, naturally, I wasn't really sure what you might be interested in, so you tell me and I'll grab some more info for you to take with you.

I ummm, I do know where I want to apply, Jack said.

Oh good, Mrs. Palermo said, Where?

He waited a second, then said it.

Julliard.

Oh, she said, biting her lower lip before continuing, Well you are very talented musically, everyone knows that, but Juilliard, I mean that's, well, very competitive.  There is a music program at Rutgers too Jack, but you need to think about what you want to do with your degree after college.  What do you think about communications?

What do you mean?

It's a very...versatile major.  And you could take lots of music classes, you might even be able to minor in music at Rutgers.

Jack didn't say anything.  He needed the Juilliard application and he wasn't sure she would give it to him.

Jack?

I want to apply to Juilliard, he said.

Okay, she said, Let me see if we have that application, but if not I can call them, have it mailed to your house for you.

No! Jack said, I mean, can't you mail it here?  Please.

Of course, she said, Maybe they'll even send us a couple of extra for the file.

Thank you.

So, okay, let's look at your grades, she said, flipping a page over, Okay, good, and the SAT scores, hmm.

Jack knew his SAT scores were pretty hmm.  No news there.

Can you, are you, you should take them again Jack, and the SAT prep course after school Jack, can you do that?  It will help, a lot.

Mrs. Palermo pulled out a sheet of paper with information, and put it in front of him.  Jack scanned it quickly.  God that didn't look like fun.  Two days a week after school starting next week until the SATS which sucked all by themselves.  Plus you had to pay for the course and the test again.

Juilliard will look at the SAT scores too, Jack, Mrs. Palermo said, Think about it.

I'll do it, Jack said.

So I think you should get into Rutgers, but is there anywhere else, anything else you are interested in?  I mean Luc applied to Princeton but also I think William and Mary and RPI if I remember correctly.

And MIT, Jack said.

Oh right, that was his reach school.

He got in, Jack said, But Princeton gave him the scholarship.

Right, I remember, Mrs. Palermo said, Think about it Jack, there are a lot of schools out there, you should grab some brochures on the way out and if you can think of what you are interested in majoring in I can definitely make some suggestions.

I really want to go to Juilliard, he said.

She reached across the desk and patted his hand.

I can see that and I am going to call them today and get it sent to us, okay, check back with me, oh, she glanced at the calendar, Next Friday, we should have it by then, I would think.

Thanks.

Of course, anything else? she said, standing up.

He could tell she wanted him out of her office and his fifteen minutes was almost up.

Actually, he said, One thing, it's about a friend of mine.  Her, their mom actually.

Mrs. Palermo looked at Jack carefully and he looked at the floor.  She walked around him and shut the door to the office.  Then she went back behind her desk and rolled her chair out and closer to him.  She sat down and leaned closer to him.  Their knees were almost touching.

Jack, she said, Tell me.

He wasn't sure it was the right thing to do but it was the only thing he had been able to think of.  He started to talk.

CHAPTER 3

Are you sure about this? Jack asked.

Yes, why, it's fine, I'm a customer, Lexi said.

She got out of the car and waited for him.

Just act like you know what you are doing, he said, as he got out and came around the vehicle.

I do know what I'm doing, Lexi said.

They went into the bank, there was a fairly long line for the tellers, but Lexi didn't even look at it.  She went right to a lady sitting at a desk on the side.

Can I help you? the woman, her name tag said Bianca on it, asked.

Yes, Lexi said, We need a bank check, please.

Are you a customer?

Yes, yes I am, Lexi said, and flashed the passbook for her savings account.

Well, have a seat, Bianca said.  She pulled a form out from the drawer in her desk. Who are we making it out to?  Oh and the amount?

Lexi nudged Jack with her elbow and he put the envelope on the desk, opened it and pulled out the application.

It says, there, he said, pointing.

Then he pushed the paper towards