On the Wings of Choice

By Rebecca Lovell

After a letter from her dying father finds her in San Francisco, Lily Lester returns to her hometown of Mayfly, New Mexico to say goodbye. She doesn't expect to find the man she once loved caring for her father at the town's recently-completed hospital, or that the rest of the town was slowly blossoming back into life.

Almost ten years earlier, Lily left Mayfly pregnant and alone, but when the men who loved her discover she's returned they're both eager to get to know her again. Dr. Daniel Evans understands her need to flee the then-dying town, while Anthony Gibson wishes that she'd stayed in spite of everything. Both men are determined to win Lily's love, but when her daughter joins her in town, she knows she'll have to make the best choice for both of them, but will it come at the cost of her heart once more?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rebecca Lovell
• Release date: Jun 16, 2020

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Prologue

Mayfly, New Mexico, 1879

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The sun was already starting to set but it was still warm on the day Lily Lester stood uncertainly beside the gate behind the church. She looked back at the carriages longingly, then rubbed her arm. The dress she had chosen for that day was a powder blue that went beautifully with her light blue eyes and blonde hair, the color of which she shared with the bride. Lily was beginning to wonder why she’d even bothered to show up when the bride and groom stepped out of the church and everyone began to clap. Automatically she did the same, her hands moving out of time with theirs as she felt her stomach sink once more and the reverend held up a hand.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to present Anthony and Carrie Gibson.

The bride was beautiful, her flushed cheeks glowing as she moved down the steps and greeted the guests, hugging and laughing along the way. Lily hoped desperately that she wouldn’t come her way. She didn’t think she’d be able to handle even perfunctory congratulations, not when he was standing there at her elbow with that smile on his face like he was the happiest man in the world.

Seeing that they were heading her way, Lily took a step back toward the wall and knelt down as if she had dropped something. When she stood up again the couple had passed her by and were chatting with a small knot of family members. The rest of the guests went back to talking among themselves and Lily sighed with relief. No, she definitely wasn’t ready for this. Her mouth suddenly felt dry and she looked around the side of the church in hopes there would be a water pump.

Instead she found three men passing around a flask. From the smell, she thought it might be filled with whiskey and for a long moment her mouth began to water as her stomach lurched. One of the men, an older fellow who looked as if he'd just come off the ranch, raised an eyebrow at her.

You okay, Missy?

Act right, Jacob, the man in the gray suit said. This here is Miss Lester, she’s like as not gonna be our new schoolteacher. He touched the brim of his hat. I hope you'll pardon Jacob, Miss. He don’t have kids so he wouldn’t know you. The man looked at the flask in his hand. We just thought we'd drink to the bride and groom. Lily nodded.

Of course. I was just lost is all. My carriage must be on the other side of the church. She smiled at each of the men in turn. Good day to you gentlemen.

She had meant it to be a clever way of getting out of making conversation but now that she thought about it, going home seemed like an excellent idea. Of course she didn't actually have a carriage, but there was nothing wrong with her feet. With a backward glance at the men drinking behind the church, she went around the corner of the building and found herself face to face with the very man she was hoping not to run into.

Mr. Gibson, she said, forcing a smile onto her face that she couldn’t imagine looked natural. Congratulations on your marriage.

Thank you, Anthony Gibson said with a broad smile. I'm glad you came out. He took her hand and kissed it briefly. Lily saw his eyes dart toward his new bride, who was busy talking to a small group of extremely well-dressed women and didn't see it.

Oh, I wouldn’t miss it, she lied, enjoying the warmth of his hand on hers for the moment. He was wearing some sort of cologne too, a kind she hadn’t smelled on him before, and her chest began to ache. Congratulations, she managed again, closing her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill, and pulled her hand away before anyone noticed.

You said that already. Anthony smiled at her and lowered his voice so he wouldn't be overheard. I haven't seen you in a while.

Yes, I know. Lily looked away from him. And I won't be seeing you again. At least not without your wife present.

Come on now, Anthony said, his smile turning rakish. Let's not be hasty.

I'm sorry, she replied. It's just not right.

You didn't seem to mind before. His smile had disappeared when his voice dropped even lower and Lily finally looked up at him.

It wasn't right then, either. Lily stepped away from him toward the church. I'm sorry, she said again. Please give Mrs. Gibson my regards. Before he could say anything more, she was hurrying toward the gate with her lips pressed together so tightly it hurt.

She knew it had been a mistake to come. Not only was she out of place with the well-to-do guests that Anthony had invited, she should have known it would be too difficult for her to see him with his new wife after everything that had happened between them. Even so, she had wanted to talk to him but the one thing she wanted to tell him most had stayed resolutely behind her lips.

I won't cry, Lily told herself firmly. She had a decent walk ahead of her and the last thing she needed was for people to see that she had been crying and start whispering about her. The proper thing to do would be go home, excuse herself to her room, and do all her crying there. She rounded the corner and walked between the carriages that were lined up by the church so she had a bit more time to compose herself, only to find that she wasn't alone. Standing beside the next to last carriage, smoking a cigarette, was another man she had been hoping to avoid.

Daniel, she said, dismayed. What are you doing over here?

Too many people, replied Daniel Evans, exhaling a ribbon of smoke. They all want to talk to me about the university and I just can’t seem to muster up the energy to deal with them. Daniel Evans turned his attention to her. I was up all night helping Dr. Anderton with a patient.

That was good of you, Lily said. You'll be a fine doctor.

I suppose I will, he said, looking up at the sky and putting the cigarette to his mouth. I'm going north to go to medical school.

North? Lily's heart began to beat so hard it was as if it was trying to escape from her chest. What do you mean?

Daniel didn't answer immediately. He inhaled deeply, then blew out the smoke as slowly as a sigh, keeping his eyes heavenward. One of the professors at the university knew I was working with Doctor Anderton and thought I'd benefit from a higher-quality education than I could get anywhere close to Mayfly. He wrote to the dean of the medical school in Boston and they found a doctor to sponsor me under condition that I would become his apprentice after I graduated.

And you agreed?

Yes. Daniel dropped the end of his cigarette into the dirt and used the toe of his dusty dress shoe to grind it out. I have. I leave next week.

But what--- Daniel looked at her curiously and Lily closed her mouth, shaking her head. I suppose I should say congratulations to you as well. A carriage went by, kicking up a cloud of dust. It was summer in Mayfly, which meant everything was covered in a fine brown haze. Lily covered her face with a hand, and by the time the dust died back down she had forced a smile onto her face. I'm sure you'll do well.

Thank you. There was a silence between them that Lily filled by fidgeting with the cuffs of the white gloves she had worn to the wedding. Daniel brushed off his suit coat, then looked back at the church yard. I should get back, they'll wonder where I am. He touched the brim of the bowler hat he was wearing, then stepped around her and walked back to where the wedding party was surrounding the new couple, stopping halfway to look back at her. Are you going to be all right?

I'll survive, Lily replied, trying to keep bitterness from creeping into her voice. Daniel searched her face from a distance, then shook his head.

I know you will. But are you going to be all right?

Without answering him, Lily turned and walked out into the street after making sure no one was coming toward her. She could feel him watching her and stepped to the edge of the fence so she was blocked by the carriages.

It wouldn't do to have anyone see that she was upset. Lily thought she might be able to get away with blaming it on being overcome with emotion at the wedding but she didn't much feel like trying to explain it to anyone she might meet, and she knew that it would be inevitable with as many ladies as she had contact with as an assistant teacher.

Her stomach was turning beneath her the layers of her dress and she pressed a hand to it, wishing she had some of her Aunt Vivian’s peppermint tea. As soon as she got home she could have her aunt loosen her corset a bit. She wasn't used to wearing one every single day. Her aunt, who had helped to raise her, didn't believe in them and she was lucky enough to have a figure that didn't require her to wear it. Thinking that this was the price she paid for wanting to look good at the wedding, she tugged at the lower edge of it that was digging into her hip, then after a thought decided to let it chafe. The discomfort kept her mind off what she had nearly said to Daniel, and distracted her from the burning behind her eyes.

She had almost asked him what she would do without him.

Chapter 1

New Mexico, 1888

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The rhythm of the train was hypnotic as it moved down the tracks, and Lily stared blankly at the letter in her ungloved hands. She'd read it several times already and it was only out so she would have something to hold while she rocked back and forth.

At first she had been able to sleep, but the closer she got to Mayfly the more nervous she became. Since she wasn't able to pace, she had taken out the letter that had arrived a week earlier at her home in San Francisco and tried once again to absorb the news.

Everything all right, young lady? The conductor in the Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railroad uniform paused by her seat. He was an old man with a kind smile that reminded her of how her father had looked when she was a young girl. The thought prickled her eyes.

Yes. Lily smiled. It had been a while since anyone called her a young lady and she couldn't help but be flattered in spite of her nervousness about the situation. Yes, thank you. I suppose I'm just a bit tired from the journey.

California to New Mexico is a long trip for a lady, he remarked. Must be something important to bring you all the way across the country.

It's my father, Lily said, looking back down at the letter. He's very ill and asked for me to come home to see him.

Must be serious if he's asking you to make a trip like that by yourself. Lily wondered exactly how old the conductor thought she was, but he straightened before she could reply. We'll be coming into Mayfly Station in just a little while, he said.

Thank you, Lily said, watching him go. When he was gone, she looked down at the letter and let her eyes wander over the words again, written in her father's familiar handwriting. It was shaky, however, as if he had been taking great pains to hold the pen steady and there were smudges of ink on the sides. The father she remembered would never have stood for it, making her wonder what exactly could be wrong with him.

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Dearest Lily,

I do not know how reliable the mail is in California so I pray that this letter reaches you in time. I would have sent a telegram but I wanted to write this to you myself in case it finds you after I have passed. Though I know I have no right, I am asking for you to come home to Mayfly. I have taken ill and do not expect I have much time left. The selfishness in my heart that allowed me to drive you away has long since gone and I wish to make amends before I die.

Your Father,

Charles David Lester

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It had been a great shock to Lily to receive the letter, both in its coming and its contents. After he'd told her to leave his house and never come back, she hadn't expected to hear from him again. That he had written the letter at all meant that he truly was dying so she hadn't wasted a moment in making arrangements to return home. It had been nine years since she left but without the presence of the father who had raised her it had felt like a lifetime.

I suppose in a way it has been, she thought, carefully re-folding the letter and sliding it back into its envelope. Perhaps not mine, but a lifetime all the same. Her thoughts were made painful by a sudden sadness that washed over her when she thought about her home in San Francisco. It was pushed out of her mind as quickly as it had come, though, when she thought about all she had to do once she arrived in town.

Not knowing how long her father would survive, Lily had resigned from her job teaching school in California and agreed to teach at the Mayfly Consolidated School instead. They had been looking for a third teacher, and as the job seemed a perfect fit for her, Lily had informed the councilmen that she would teach as long as she was in New Mexico. She had also warned her of the likelihood that she would be leaving again when her father passed away but it hadn't been a problem.

The first thing she planned to do when she got to town was go to her aunt and uncle's house, where she would be staying until other arrangements could be made. After that she needed to visit her father, locate the school and discuss the particulars of her new job. It was a month's worth of work to fit into two days and the thought of it all made her head spin. She also wasn't sure how much the city was going to have changed since she was last there and it made her even more nervous thinking about how much she might have to get used to. When she’d left, Mayfly had been in decline. Jobs were drying up and people leaving, and there hadn’t been a railroad or station at all. Now as the train moved alongside the town there were faces she didn’t recognize and downtown was bustling. It was as if it had become a completely different town, and was still growing.

Further complicating matters was the thought that she might have to see Anthony and his wife. It was something she wasn't looking forward to, and she certainly wouldn't be seeking him out. Unfortunately for her, Mayfly was still a small town at its heart and everyone from her past knew everyone else. It was likely that the gossip line already knew she was coming back. They didn’t know everything, though.

At some point, Lily thought with a sigh, I'm going to just have to be honest. The thought didn't appeal to her much and she turned the envelope with its letter over in her hands again. If she was lucky she wouldn't have to see him. She would just have to keep her hopes up.

When the train pulled into the station, her eagerness to see her family was tempered by the anxiety of being back in her hometown after so long and she found that her hands were shaking as she put her gloves on, having taken them off so they wouldn’t get ink on them. She'd thought she was ready for this but now that the time had come it was all starting to seem overwhelming. As attractive as the thought of turning around and going back to California was, she had a responsibility to fulfill her father's last wishes in spite of the distance that had been between them for so long.

No sooner had she stepped onto the platform than a white-haired woman in a blue dress got her attention and motioned for her to come to where she was standing. She was relieved to see her Aunt Vivian waiting for her, along with her Uncle Roy. As soon as she reached them, she found herself enfolded in her aunt's arms.

Lily! Aunt Vivian hugged her tightly. Oh my dear, it's so good to see you again.

Hello, Aunt Vivian, Lily said with a smile before she turned to her uncle and gave him a hug as well. Hello, Uncle Roy. It's good to see you too.

It's been so long. Her aunt looked her over, and Lily knew from experience that she was trying to find something to fret over. You look like you've been doing well, she conceded. I trust life in California has been good to you. She sounded doubtful, as if it was hard to believe anyone could enjoy life that far to the West.

It's been fine, Lily assured her. Just fine. She glanced over to the train where a knot of people had formed near one of the doors. "Excuse me for a